When the new week began, you almost couldn't focus on your job, which made your boss a little angry. You couldn't do otherwise but apologize. Your mind was clouded with thousands of thoughts. Not only that you finally have a relationship with Levi, which causes you to smile every time when you think of him, but on the other hand, you're thinking about Erwin. You can't erase the memory of his face when Levi confessed your relationship to him. It was a bittersweet situation. Even if you know that Erwin might have feelings for you, which is still kind of unbelievable for you, but to see him so broken made you feel extremely guilty. You told yourself the whole time that he might just have a little crush on you as students have towards their teachers. You had no idea that he would be connected to you like this, what makes the situation even more horrible. You want and you need to talk to Erwin about this, alone. At least, you want to do anything that's possible to make sure that you will stay friends.
When finally Wednesday came for the regular training routine, you were first greeted by Mikasa. Her grin was wider than usual. She came towards you to embrace you so tight that she almost squeeze every last drop of air out of you. And right after that, she slammed her whole hand on your back which made you cough heavily.
"What the hell?! Mikasa! What's the matter?" you asked, still coughing.
"Come on! Don't play stupid with me! I know what's going on?" She puts her elbow in your ribs, nudging you while giving you a mischievous wink. You're sure that the big question mark on your face was clearly visible. Mikasa pout and nudges you with her elbow even further. "I was already starting to worry about him. Good thing he finally found such a nice woman like you!" Your expression change from confused to shocked and you feel your heart drop to the bottom of your feet. You might not be the sharpest tool in the box, but that hint was too obvious to ignore. She must have found out about you and Levi. You turn your head in her direction, with eyes wide as saucers.
"H-how did you know? We wanted to keep this as a secret!" You blurted at her and Mikasa's expression changes into a more confused one.
"Erwin told me a few days back. Here....look!" She takes out her phone to swipe through her picture folder until she found the one she's looking for. It shows you and Levi, cuddling and tightly entwined with each other in Levis bed. Shit.....Erwin must've taken this on the day when you comforted Levi when he had his nightmare. You face-palm with a loud sigh. Mikasa places her hand on your shoulder, seeking eye contact.
"Is everything alright?" she asked with uncertainty. You shake your head.
"Not quite, but I hope it will be soon. Have you told anyone about me and Levi?" She shook her head in denial. You feel a weight being taken from your shoulders as you exhale in relief, pleading her not to tell anyone about your relationship. Levi wants to keep this a secret for now and there's still one thing you have to deal with. Luckily, Mikasa promises you not to tell anyone, but she asks once again if everything's alright. You look more tense than usual to her and you seem to be sad. After you assured that soon everything will be alright again, she dropped the topic for now. But then she noticed a big band-aid on your neck and asked about it. Your heart skips a beat. You're trying to hide that shitty hickey from Levi, which is still shining like hell, but just as you feared, any make-up was useless and so the only proper solution was to stick a band-aid on it. Not very pretty, but it works.
"I-It's nothing! Just an infected mosquito bite! Don't pay attention to it!" You wave your hands before your face but your behavior is just too obvious. Mikasa approaches you very close so that your eyes locked just a few inches apart. You flush into a deep shade of red and she grins dirty as you proved her right about whatever she was thinking. Luckily, her gaze was torn off from you by someone who just entered the gym as she waved to that person. You turn around to see Erwin coming in your direction. He's again wearing his lovely smile but you want to talk to him anyway. And since Levi won't be around today, it will become much easier.
When the new week had started, Levi sent you a text that he will be away till the weekend, since he had to deal with one of his clients. Some kind of death threat. Levi wasn't allowed to give you further information about it. You were sad that he didn't tell you earlier, but you just replied to him that he should be careful and take care of himself. You don't want to cause him to worry because you would be without him for just one week. You were alone for years. What's a week compared to that, right? But you felt sad anyways. You couldn't help it...
"What's the matter, ladies? I hope you're not talking about me?" Erwin joked with a grin. Mikasa takes the lead and gives a little shove on his arm. " Who? Us? Never!" She waves at us and wanders off to start with her training. Erwin also went off to change into his training outfit. When he's coming out again, you'll talk to him! You want to get this out of your head as soon as possible. You sit down by the seating area where you met Erwin for the very first time to wait for him. When he finally comes out of the dressing room, you wave him in your direction. When he wants to pick you up, you grab his hand to stop him. He turns towards you and a mix of concern and confusion was written all over his face. You inhale deeply through your nose until your lungs were filled completely.
"Erwin? Would you sit down for a moment? I want to talk to you." This is always a bad way to start a conversation, but you can't think of something different right now.
Erwin sits down beside you and turns in your direction. "What's wrong, Nina? You're not feeling well?"
How should you explain? At home, you tried to make some kind of plan what you should say and how he might answer, but past events proved more than once that all of your planning would be in vain. When have any of your plans ever actually worked? You plan, you get there, all hell breaks loose! So you tried your best at improvising.
"In fact, yes. I'm not feeling very well. I'm worried about you." Erwin seems to be surprised to hear this, but his face remained calm.
"You worry about me? You don't have to. I'm fine, really. See?" Erwin shows you his smiling face. He's a terrible liar. You will go on, no matter what he will say.
"You can't fool me, Erwin. I can see that you're not feeling well. And the reason why you're not feeling well is making me feel horrible. I already know that you're in love with me too. Levi told me and by now, it's too obvious to ignore it. So it's useless to deny. And now, that Levi and I are together, you're going to be the one out. I saw your face when Levi confessed to our relationship. I felt happy and horrible at the same time. I don't want you to get hurt, you know? But I also don't want to lose you! You're my friend! You're important to me! More important that I'm able to explain..."
Your quivering body makes it difficult for you to keep talking and you feel your throat hurting from the rising lump. Just the moment when you feel yourself close to the edge to cry, you're tugged in a tight and warm embrace. Erwin had approached you on the bench to cage you in his arms. This makes it even more difficult not to cry. You wrap your arms around his back to hide your face in his chest, panting heavily. You remain in this position for a few moments until you calmed down a little. His heartbeat is slow and steady, but his breathing becomes more and more unsteady. As you want to pull away from Erwin, he doesn't make any effort to move. He keeps hugging you like this as he lowers his head to your ear, whispering to you in his raspy voice.
"Don't worry, sweetness. You won't get rid of me that easily. You won't lose me. I will stay with you as long as you want me to. I want you to be happy as well, and if that means that you need both of us, Levi and me, in your life, then I will endure the greatest toll to make sure that it will stay like this." This is too much for your weak heart. Now you can't hold back your tears any longer. Without further thinking, you crawl on Erwin's lap without breaking the embrace and started to sob in his neck.
You're acting selfish, you know that, but the fact that Erwin says that he will step back to make sure that you are happy...You can't remember having such a wonderful friend ever before. Erwin pulls you very close, threading one of his hands through your hair while the other one rubs your back up and down. After a few minutes of sobbing and crying, your tears stopped. Erwin cups your face in his hands and wipes the remaining moist away. Just like the day when you first met. You're finally able to put on a smile again and Erwin replied with one of his own.
This time, his smile was honest and reached his marvelous, ocean-like eyes. They have that luminous shine whenever he's smiling like this. So beautiful, so magnificent. Blue has always been your favorite color, so they're even more beautiful to you. Still keeping eye contact with those mesmerizing sapphire-like jewels of Erwin, you feel the urge growing deep inside you that attracts you closer to him. To be honest, you felt like this since the first meeting with him and now would be probably the best and only chance to give in to that urge.
"E-Erwin? May I touch your face?" You asked coyly. You're a little uncertain about this and you have no explanation to yourself why you want to do this or why you even asked him. It just feels right in some way. After a short moment of silence, Erwin did something that you're only used from Levi. His hands landed on your waist, his forearms resting in the valley where your thighs melt into your loins. "Do as you wish, sweetie."
With shaky hands, you reach out for Erwin's face, stroking along his well-built and edgy jawbone. You feel the tiny stubbles along his chin and you begin to wonder, how he might look like with a 3-day beard. He has such an interesting face. So manly and charismatic. Your right hand wanders higher into his hair, scratching along his scalp to feel his soft and silky locks while your other hand plays with his undercut at the back of his head. Erwin, however, closed his eyes in relaxation, gently rubbing his thumbs over your waist. You want him to look at you one more time with his stunning blue eyes, that's when your gaze falls on his eyebrows. Wow...
They're really something...They're quite big and bushy, but not growing uncontrolled. It seems Erwin is combing and trimming them. They suit him very well. They match his stature perfectly and make the whole Erwin-package complete in some way. You take his face in your hands, letting your thumbs brush along the well-combed eyebrows of his. He immediately opens his eyes to look at you.
"Have I ever told you how much I like your eyes?"
He chuckles from the depth of his throat. "I can't remember you doing so, sweetie." He replied in a low volume.
"Then I'm going to do that now: I just love your eyes. They look so kind, so gentle. And the color is absolutely mesmerizing. Blue was always my favorite color." Erwin gently removes your hands from his face, leading them to his lips, kissing your knuckles and you feel your face flushing instantly.
"I'll make sure to keep that in mind, sweetie. But don't you think we sat here long enough?" You realize that you're still sitting in Erwin's lap. A little startled, you hop down from him to arrange your clothes.
"Y-Yeah. You're right, Erwin. We should go before Mikasa starts to worry." He stands up and wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him before you two finally walk to the large weight training area. While doing so, and making your way to the barbels, you feel a huge load falling from your heart.
"Thank you, Erwin. I'm feeling way better now. I hope you do too."
"I do. I definitely do," he said, smiling down to you.