Dylan poured the hot water into a cup he had grabbed a couple of seconds ago from the shelf on top of him. The boy opened up a green tea pack and put it inside of the cup, letting the warm water intrude trough the plants in the little pocket. To finish it off, the American put two spoons of sugar into the drink and walked with the cup in his hand out of the kitchen.
Dylan's head was crazy trough the whole process. All he could think of was how he would explain to Thomas that he may be in love with the Brit. The worst was that Dylan wasn't even sure himself. He knew that Thomas made him feel stuff he never felt, he felt happier than ever around him. Even if the two boys weren't doing anything special.
What if after all this wasn't love? Maybe Dylan was just in love with the feeling of everything. Maybe his head was fooling him all the time. But one thing was certain for the brunette, he wanted to know if Thomas' head was going crazy in the precise moment as well. Maybe even thinking if he also felt differently for Dylan. Dylan wanted to know if Thomas had even thought that there was the slightest chance of them to become a thing. No matter in what way.
Eventually Dylan shook his head before opening the kitchen's door and walk into the living room. Thomas was sitting on the couch, his head facing the now switched on television but his mind definitely somewhere else. He slowly rotated the remote in his right hand, his eyes facing the white wall behind the television.
Dylan was unsure for several time yet decided to sit down next to his friend after a while. As the couch sank down with Dylan's weight Thomas shot up and faced his friend.
"Your tea." was everything that came out of Dylan's lips before pressing them together into a thin line.
Thomas smiled lightly, thanking his best friend quick before taking the cup and drinking out of it. Thomas faces the television again, this time actually paying attention to the screen and not the wall behind him. Dylan wondered what had taken over his friend's thoughts just a minute ago. He wished it was the same thing that kept hammering his brain for days. He wished deeply that it was mutual. He didn't want to stand there and look like a fool.
Dylan faded off, starring at thomas' side profile. Everything he did was seen by the American. How Thomas' hair bounced to the way he wiggled with his right hand. Even how the surface of the Brit's tea moved as it got blown cold was noticed by Dylan.
Apparently the whole starring didn't bother Thomas because Dylan felt like standing there for half an hour as he looked to the screen in front of them both. The 100 was playing on BBC America and apparently Thomas was really into it. It surprised Dylan to even think about the fact that his friend liked watching shows like these. He always pictured Thomas watching wiser things.
"If you want I can get it printed out for you." Thomas said, letting out of a little chuckle before turning to Dylan.
"Huh?" The American looked confused.
"Why have you been starring at me for the past half and hour? You know google apparently has a lot of pictures of me. Maybe you could print something out there." Thomas smiled.
The American felt his body freeze and his checks heat up: "I thought you... the show..."
"Just because you're watching a show doesn't mean you can't feel how the person right next to you is penetrating your body with their vision." Thomas said, putting down his empty tea cup in a small table in front of them.
"I... actually... I wasn't staring." Dylan said, feeling his body get lose slowly.
"Sure Jen." the blonde turned his body to face Dylan better. His smile was obvious and he wouldn't let go until Dylan would find a credible excuse of why he was literally sculpturing his friend.
"I... I wasn't. I just... it's not you it's-" Dylan stopped as he felt his heart sink. He couldn't breath for a second as he felt warm skin colliding with his hand back.
He looked down, finding his hand wrapped in Thomas' fragile one: "You know you can tell me everything. Is something wrong Dylan?"
"No. Not at all. Everything is fine."
"I don't believe you." Thomas said, squeezing the hand under his together, "Dylan I know you. This isn't you."
"I'm fine it's just that. Someone has been in my mind a lot... making me question things." Dylan said, looking into the boy's brown eyes.
"Well then talk with the someone who is bugging you and tell them how you feel. I'm sure it will be fine after you tell them that you're worried." Thomas said, giving his friend a light smile.
"It's not that easy... I... I don't have the guts to it. I'm afraid it will ruin everything." - "It won't."
Dylan smiled lightly. He wished Thomas was right. He wished Thomas would know of what and who he was actually talking. Everything in him was going insane with a simple touch of his friend. He got tense, physically and mentally. Even though he wanted to know what was going on in his mind there was just too much in it. He couldn't just focus on one thing and ended up with nothing. He was blank. He couldn't think of anything except the brown eyes right in front of him.
"You good?" The Brit asked, a little hair of his falling into his sight. It looked precious in Dylan's opinion. The baby face and the light dirty blonde hair falling into the boy's face made Dylan's heart warm up. The boy in front of him looked simply angelic.
"I'm perfect." Dylan said, trying not to let go of something totally stupid or wrong. He had to take care of the words he used. It was too early to mess up.
Thomas frowned before letting go of his friends hand and turning around to watch his show again: "I truly hope you aren't lying."
Dylan swallowed deeply, standing up while taking the empty tea cup. It was over. His skin ran cold again, feeling the missing piece on top of it. The way Thomas held his hand was still sensible on his but it was slowly turning cold.
Dylan entered the kitchen without looking back, not wanting to be questioned by Thomas again. Dylan was quiet yet his mind was screaming. Everything he could feel was how his heart got lose and starting beating regularly again. He breathed in and out, putting the cup on the cupboard in front of him.
Everything Dylan's mind could think of was Thomas' face from a second ago. The way his hair wiggled lightly, the movement of his lips, the way he formed the softest smile Dylan knew.
There is was, the hallucination of Thomas' face standing in front of Dylan, making him go blank again. The American had to do something but he didn't want to. The image of never seeing Thomas again broke his heart way too much.
But everything on that ghost that was standing in front of Dylan looked so flawless and identical. Maybe if Thomas would dumb him Dylan could try it out with the blonde's ghost. It was better than nothing in Dylan's opinion.
As he turned around to look away from the picture his own mind made up the tea cup fell into the floor, breaking into a thousand pieces.
The American kneeled down immediately, whispering things about him being stupid and clumsy. About the fact that the ghost is just him turning paranoid. He hated himself for even imagining the moment again. It was over and he had to deal with it.
The kitchen's door was opened up by Thomas who rushed into the kitchen, kneeling down immediately next to his friend, "What is it?"
"Just the cup. I let it fall... I'm okay." Dylan whispered seeing Thomas look at him worried, his eyebrows furred together but his eyes full and big, screaming for help.
"Are you sure? Dylan this truly ain't you what is going on lately. I wanna help you but I can't if you don't tell me why you started acting weirdly since we entered the taxi in Paris. Where is my beloved friend?" Thomas asked, making Dylan stare at the ground.
"I'm okay." He repeated, his voice shaky.
Thomas sighted, looking at the floor before speaking: "I know it has something to do with Tyler."
"Tyler?" Dylan looked up, expecting a good reason why Thomas was thinking like that. It confused the American. Why would Thomas even think of had something to do with Tyler.
"Yeah I mean... yesterday in that Taxi you started talking about feeling more than just friendship ways for him and... I know it's hard to get hit with that Dylan but it's okay. I will still like you because that's who you are. You won't change nor hurt anyone. So stop hurting yourself. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual... or gay whatever I don't know. But I'd like to know! I'm your friend I wanna support you but right now I just feel like I can't do anything." He sighted before continuing, "I know Tyler has a girlfriend but... maybe he'll realise it too. Or maybe he already did but you don't know it yet because he was afraid aswell."
Dylan shook his head slowly, making Thomas hold his hands up, "Let me finish please..."
"I know it's a tuff thing. Coming out and all that and like... just... just know that I'm here for you and that I love you no matter who you feel sexually attracted to or who you love. Even if your love interest is your best friend. I won't leave you. And I know that you are quite uncomfortable or unsure about everything but-"
And that was everything that Dylan needed to cut Thomas. The Brit may had seen Dylan's problem but he saw the wrong boy. But that didn't matter. As Thomas said that he wouldn't leave Dylan even if he'd have a crush on his friend it made Dylan realise how stupid he had been. He knew that Thomas would understand it and be honest. If that meant hurting Dylan or not.
And after all the ted talk Dylan decided to cut him off by smashing their lips together. A fireworks of emotions exploded in Dylan. He was quite unsure about what exactly each of them were but he knew that it was unique. Everything in him started trembling, a beautiful vibe traveling slowly trough his body.
He was happy, in peace.
——
I'm sorry it took so long I promise I'll try to update more regularly aswell but school started and it's already hitting my nerves really hard. Thank you for your patience if you even made it until here uwu