The day day was beautiful. Birds chirping and flying along the blue, cloudless sky. There was a slight refreshing breeze that dragged the scent of flowers along Seoul. But Chan noticed none of that, because in his eyes everything was dark, pitch black dark. The only thing that seemed to shine was the house that he hated yet loved so much. The big white mansion that held so much history, so many happy moments, so many sad memories...
Chan stopped in his tracks and dug out his phone from his pocket, then proceeding to throw it somewhere he couldn't find it. He couldn't bear ignoring Hansol anymore. He knew all of those vibrations were texts and calls from his confused best-friend after he had received the "I'm sorry Hansol, I love you." text.
He couldn't possibly explain what was happening to Hansol, and the boy really was sorry that it had turned out this way... He was so excited to get his life back, but it seemed as if it wasn't meant to be... Ignoring the texts was driving him even more insane, so his only option was to leave the phone be and finish his business once and for all.
Chan kept walking, the axe he was dragging along with him screeched against the stone flooring of the sidewalk. People eyed the rather calm looking boy dragging an axe around Seoul, but none of them dared to say or do anything. More like none of them cared to do so...
Once the boy arrived the big house he stopped, looked up, and smirked. It would be so easy to break in... Chan knew all of the corners of the house. He knew what doors and windows were open, he knew where to run and where to hide, he knew exactly where everything was, and he was sure that because of the little OCD of Seungcheol's he hadn't moved a thing, even after all that went down.
Chan's predictions were correct, and he made it inside the house in 15 minutes.
The boy searched the house, only to find Seungcheol first. He was in the kitchen, washing what seemed like the dirty dishes of a previous meal, and his exposed back was facing Chan. The boy licked his lips, oh how he would love to have one last good time with that man...
Chan bent over the island a couple meters away from the sink Seungcheol was working on, and held his chin up with his hand. Seungcheol felt someone else's presence in the room, and, assuming it was his husband, he chuckled without taking a glance at who stood behind him.
"Like what you see, honey?" The man asked smugly.
It certainly wasn't the first time Chan had heard this. Seungcheol was very fond of asking that whenever someone stared at him for a little too long. The younger boy smirked, as he kept admiring the ex-lover's back.
"Hadn't heard you call me that in a long time."
It took mere seconds for Seungcheol to realize whose voice was that, and uppon said realization hit him he abruptly turned around, and, with wide eyes, stared at Chan.
"What are you doing here." He asked, somewhat scared of the smaller, much less stronger male.
Chan held his answer for a while. He stood up straight and went around the balcony, so he could stand face to face with Seungcheol, only a couple meters of air between them.
"I came to visit you, Seungcheol. I missed you, you know? And by the way you reacted to my touch when you went to my flat the other day..." The boy started by saying, stepping closer with every word he spoke, until the men could feel each other's breathing.
"I'd say you've missed me too, Cheollie." Chan finished.
The old nickname sent visible shivers down Seungcheol's spine. Seungcheol had never let Jeonghan use that nickname, for his sanity's sake. It was something only Chan had done and everytime Jeonghan attempted to say the cute little name, Chan's baby face and sharp smiley eyes popped up in his head.
Chan brushed his lips against Seungcheol's and the latter did not move. His breathing grew deeper and his pupils dilated.
Seungcheol didn't know why he was like this. Seungcheol didn't know why he allowed himself to repeatedly hurt the people he loved just because of sexual wishes. There's a lot he missed from Chan, but there was also a lot he loved form Jeonghan. Seungcheol loved the innocence Chan carried, the cute age gap between them, the way he looked adorable when trying to look or sound grown up and the way he always made Seungcheol feel like a king. Jeonghan on the other hand had the looks of a guy and a girl, which was perfect for the bisexual Seungcheol. Jeonghan was much better in bed (how could he not, he had far more experience), Jeonghan knew exactly how to handle Seungcheol and Jeonghan acted like a princess that needed all the attention in the world, and oh boy did Seungcheol love spoiling the ones he loved.
It was then that it hit Seungcheol: was his current relationship based off of lust? Could it possibly be that the only reason Seungcheol was with Jeonghan was because he gave him more pleasure, and in sex terms Jeonghan was more his type that Chan? It couldn't. Seungcheol refused to accept that he had accepted to spend his life with someone just because of sex... But then again, he was that dumb apparently...
The mab wasn't able to draw any conclusions from his profound thinking though, as Chan's voice snapped him from his toughts.
"You lying, cheating cunt... About to cheat on your husband, how despicable."
Before Seungcheol could answer Chan knocked the man out with a blow to his temple. Chan then proceeded to drag the man to a nearby chair, and tie him up with something he had found on the garden on his way in.
After he was done, Chan went ahead and grabbed his axe, then came backand sat on the coffee table, waiting for the man to wake up. Once he did he was confused. Why was he strapped to a chair? This would be normal but he wasn't naked.
The man only clocked what was happening once he saw the massive axe that Chan held.
"Chan, think about what you're about to do. You have your whole life ahead of you and this will ruin it."
Seungcheol tried to reason with the younger but it was obviously no use.
Chan stood up, and started walking towards Seungcheol.
"My life was ruined the day you left me... You nearly fucking killed me!" Chan said, yelling the last sentence.
His face had a mix of despair, fear and anger, and his eyes screamed of hunger for revenge.
"Listen Chan I told you I'm so-"
"I don't want your fucking apologies Joshua is dead and now I'm alone!" Chan yelled as he swung the axe back.
Seungcheol closed his eyes and waited for the worst, but Chan hesitated, and just as he was about to take the swing that would be fatal do Seungcheol someone violently knocked on the door.
"Chan!? Chan I know you're in there! Please don't do anything stupid!"
Chan's axe stopped, and so did his body as cold sweat started running down his back. He didn't want Hansol to see him like this. He wanted Hansol to see him as the cute little best friend he had always treated him as, and after this that image would certainly be tarnished.
The couple of seconds Chan was stopped dead in his tracks reconsidering these moments were enough for Hansol to kick in the door and run over to Chan, just in time to snatch away his axe and throw it far away.
"Why... why are you here?"
Chan was somehow out of breath as he asked this.
Hansol cupped Chan's face and the latter's breathing became instantly calmer.
"To stop you from doing something stupid. Chan please don't do this, let me help you fix your life..." Hansol said, his finger brushing along Chan's cheek.
"I-I can't! I can't Hansol! I need a job that pays well to keep a house by myself now, I can't go back to school so I can't have a decent job and now I'm alone!" Chan yelled, purely out of despair.
"You're not alone! I am here!" The best friend yelled back.
"I am alone Hansol I-"
Chan's words were cut off as he felt a pair of lips on his own. The warm, soft feeling of Hansol's lips on his own and their sweet taste felt so right yet so wrong... But Chan complied of course, and kissed back. Hansol then pulled away, and looked at the ground for a second, then looking back up at Chan's eyes.
"You were never alone you fool... How could you have been so blind?" Hansol asked, tears in his eyes.
The boy merely answered with a hug. A hug that didn't mean "I feel that way towards you as well.", but an apologetic, compassionate one.
Chan suddenly felt human again. The pitch black darkness he felt in his body was replaced with a spark of colour. He felt so much love, closure, warmth and acceptance... His eyes were watery, and soon so was Hansol's shoulder. Somehow the older had this effect on him. Could it perhaps be because he only had positive memories with Hansol?
"I know you won't ever love me the way I love you because of that fool in the chair, but please, let me help you."
Chan chuckled at Hansol's name for Seungcheol.
"You're everything I need right now Hansol..."
Their grips around each other tightened, and they both shared a moment of utmost happiness until suddenly...
BANG
Hansol's grip loosened and his body grew heavier on Chan's arms, and Chan, who was unaware of what had happened, let go of Hansol, and his body hit the floor. There was a red stain on his forehead and a visible hole that spewed blood all over the best friend's face.
Chan's mind that had gone back to a innocent teenager's for a while didn't quite understand what had happened, until he and Seungcheol (who had been patiently waiting for Hansol to calm Chan down so they could untie him) turned their heads to look at the man standing in the hallway, holding a p1911 gun, that he slowly lowered once the room was completely frozen. Everyone's eyes were widened in shock, even Jeonghan's, who had just taken the shot.
"What... have you done?" Seungcheol asked, as he stared at his husband's killer hands in disbelief.
Chan dropped to his knees and let the tears fall on his best friend's corpse. He caressed Hansol's face just like the latter had done to him before.
"Hey Hansol come on, wake up. Let's go home, ok? Let's go so you can finally help me, alright? Y-you can't go yet, we have to finish up our game, remember? Hansol?"
No matter how much Chan called, or cried, no matter how much he caressed and pleaded, he didn't wake up.
He won't wake up.
Jeonghan didn't mean to headshot Hansol. He meant to scare off Chan so he wouldn't hurt Seungcheol, but it was his first time handling Seungcheol's gun and his poor aim didn't help him.
Once he realized what he had done Jeonghan stumbled across the room and knelt beside Hansol anxiously, dropping the gun somewhere.
"Oh God... oh God I'm so sorry!"
Chan's body went stiff, his face turned cold and his eyes went back to their lifeless state and the tears dried off. Said eyes darted off to the gun that had fallen by his feet. He picked it up, and, without thinking twice, Chan approached the gun's barrel to Jeonghan's temple and pulled the trigger, as if it was nothing.
Jeonghan's body dropped on top of Hansol's and Seungcheol's desperate screams of "No!" echoed in the room.
Chan walked up to his axe and picked it up, ignoring Seungcheol's frightened eyes, pleads for his life and desperate fidgeting, in attempt to free himself.
He swung his axe back and mercilessly chopped Seungcheol's neck. Once, twice, three times. Until the axe had cut through the bone.
Chan then let the axe fall, and stared at the blood-stained, death-reeking room.
By his side were the two bodies of the people he cared for the most, and in front of him the body of the one he loved the most: all of them lifeless, bathing in the colour red.
Chan looked around and realized he had nothing. Nothing else to live for. And yet, like a coward, he decided to live. Like a coward Chan left the house, and walked away alive, shedding one last tear for the ones he loved, shedding one last tear for the one who had been there through thick and thin, for the one who stood there through heartbreaks, depressions, anxiety and pshycotic attacks. For the one who had never left him despite the mess his life was. For the one that only wanted to hold his hand, and be with him.
And after all of this, Chan just wished he had taken Hansol's hand, and stayed with him.