**Eating disorder TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter and the whole story. Please stop reading now if you know it's a trigger for you, or if you ever feel uncomfortable during the story.**
"Who wants the last piece?" Liam asked, waving the slice of pizza around, the cheese barely clinging to the slice. Zayn grabbed it before anyone could answer. Harry's stomach clenched. He'd had three pieces. Not one, which would've looked weird to his friends, or two which would have been a reasonable amount, but three. True, his last real meal was... well, Harry couldn't remember. But still... three. He wrapped his hand around his stomach and tried to take slow breaths, but his mind was reeling.
Harry tried to look casual as he slipped off to the bathroom but he must not have pulled it off, because when he looked up in the mirror, he saw two reflections.
"Its okay, Harry," Louis said, appearing behind Harry in the bathroom. "You didn't eat too much. I had four pieces, and look," he lifted up his shirt so Harry could see the flat span of muscle underneath, "Still have a flat tummy".
"Lou," Harry said quietly, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the bathroom counter, "Please go away."
"How 'bout no."
"How about you get the fuck out of my bathroom?" Harry leaned against the sink, his stomach churning. He needed Louis to leave now.
He took a few deep breaths but all he saw when he closed his eyes was pizza, and all he saw when he opened them was his reflection, mocking him... always mocking. "Lou. I asked you to get out of the bathroom."
"But Haz-"
"Lou, I said get out!"
But Louis didn't leave and Harry dropped to the floor, kneeling at the toilet like some sort of prayer. Louis crouched down next to him and rubbed circles on his back, trying not to watch while Harry's fingers went into his mouth.
"Shhhh.... it's okay," Louis said softly as Harry finished. He trailed his fingers gently up and down the younger boy's back, letting him know he was still there.
"Is it gone now?" Harry asked, his green eyes squeezed shut.
"Its gone, Haz," Louis reassured him, trying to keep the disappointment from his voice. It wasn't what Harry needed right now.
Louis flushed the toilet for him, and helped him up to the sink to brush his teeth. Harry washed his hands, and his long fingers trembled a little as he reached for his pink toothbrush. Lou rubbed his shoulders softly as he brushed his teeth, feeling all the tension Harry had knotted into his muscles.
"You and I are going to eat some soda crackers when the guys are gone, okay?" Lou said, but he didn't make it sound like a question. Harry spit into the sink and put his toothbrush back into the holder.
"Lou," Harry protested softly. "Please don't."
"The next time this happens," Louis started, taking a breath to steady himself before he continued. "The next time you do this to yourself, our soda cracker date is going to be a hospital date and don't you dare try and talk me out of it."
Harry was feeling drained so he just nodded, walking on shaky legs toward the wall, and sliding down against it, sitting down on the cool tile. Louis kneeled down to next to Harry, who had a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, and his eyes closed again. "I'm sorry, Boo," Harry whispered.
"I know you are," Louis replied, smoothing Harry's long curls away from his face. "But until sorry is enough to keep food in this tummy, you're gonna need to try harder for me okay?" He sat down next to Harry and the two adjusted themselves so that Harry was relaxed against Louis' chest- always the little spoon even with the height difference. "How are you feeling?" Louis murmured, running his hands up and down Harry's arms. A smile tugged at his lips when his finger skimmed across the anchor tattoo.
"I feel like shit," Harry murmured, curving his body closer into Louis'. "Do we have to go back out there?"
"Mhm," Louis nodded, and helped Harry stand up.
Harry took a sharp breath once he had stood up and gripped tightly onto his friend's arm. He could feel the room swaying, like he were on a swing set.
"Do you want me to get you to bed?" Louis asked, his eyes flickering with worry.
Harry shook his head, and his curls shook along with it. "I want to go back and be with the other guys. Are they done eating now?"
"They're guys, Harry- they're never done eating... but Zayn's probably finished off the pizza by now."
Harry held tightly onto Louis' arm all the way down the hall, letting himself be lead back into the living room. It felt good to be pulled along, like being a child at the amusement park having his mom pull him by the hand everywhere so he wouldn't get lost.
Harry looked down at their anchor and rope tattoos, imagining them knotted together. Louis wouldn't lose him either.
Harry took a deep breath and sat down next to Liam. Louis was on the other side of the couches, next to Niall, but Harry could feel him worrying from across the room. So he sat and smiled and played video games with the others and even though he was quieter than normal, he made it through the rest of the night. When the guys left, Louis pulled him into a hug and then brought him into the kitchen.
"Up for some crackers?" Louis asked, but Harry knew it wasn't supposed to be a question. He sighed and sat down opposite to his friend, ready for whatever Louis had to say to him this time.