"i was wondering when he was gon hurry up and cuff me already"
gazzy
when you start to fall for someone, often adding sex in the mix will quicken the process and make you fall twice as hard as you already were falling anyway. especially at such a young age, when your brain isn't really equipped to seperate pleasure and feelings, so you just fall even more for that person and all you can think about is them.
i wouldn't say i'm in love with omar, but at the rate i'm going at, i will be sooner than later. i'm definitely well on my way.
the word love is overused. i've only known him for about a month, and i don't think it's possible to fall in love with somebody after just a month, but like i said, if things continue on the route they've been on, i'll be in love with him in no time.
i've already been daydreaming about him and thinking about him nonstop, especially after what we did that one night. most people wouldn't put much stock into a shitty blowjob under the covers and a fingering that would turn out to have painful consequences the next morning to be that big, but that was the first time i've done anything sexual with anyone. omar touched me in ways i've never been touched before, and i wanted him to do it again.
it's to the point where everything reminds me of omar. i'll see a couple in public and i'll wish that it was omar and i. i sit up and daydream about him when i have nothing to do, i crave his touch, his love, his lips on mine. i want him to be mine and i want to be his. i want omar so bad that he's all i think about every day.
okay, what i said earlier was bullshit. i'm already in love with omar.
i was wondering when he was gon hurry up and cuff me already. i didn't want to rush him, because i could tell that he was struggling with coming to terms with his sexuality, and i can definitely relate.
we're both hispanic, and i know firsthand how hispanics can be about homosexuality. don't believe me? ask my dad how he feels about me.
and even without the hispanic community being the way it is about gay people, internalized homophobia was a bitch regardless, so i wasn't going to rush him.
a part of me was scared that one of these days omar was going to just decide he's actually straight and just cut me loose like nothing that happened between us ever happened. that fear was growing larger and larger as i began to grow more attached him, but i ignored it.
cassy and i wandered around the shopping center, carrying around bags from the other store we had just left.
"you should have gotten something from victoria's secret like i told you to," she shook her head at me.
"chill, i'm not even all that feminine," i defended myself.
"iM nOt eVeN aLL tHat feMiNiNe" she mocked my words, "bro, you're more feminine than me and i'm a whole female."
"so maybe i am a little feminine," i whined. "i'm still not buying panties, my dick's too big to fit in them."
"aw, come on," she tugged on my t shirt. "imagine what omar would think if he saw you in some. he'd lose what little of his mind he has left."
i sighed. she was so persistant.
"fine," i pouted. "but i'm only getting a couple of pairs. that shit ain't cheap."
cassy practically pulled me into the store, and went off to go pick up some underwear of her own.
me? i felt lost. again, i don't wear panties, so i didn't even know what i was supposed to be looking for? was lace sexier or silk? was i looking for a thong or some boyshorts? were either of those options even comfortable? did it even matter how comfortable they were when the only reason i want to buy them is so omar can rip them off of me whenever he fucks me?
i was completely out of my element as i looked through my options, until i spotted something that i knew would be perfect.
it was a pair of lacy pink panties with a big heart shaped hole in the back that would be right at the curve of my ass. my eyes rolled in the back of my head at the thought of omar seeing me in this, i had to have it.
i even scooped up a pair of matching stockings to complete the "look" or whatever.
after i was done, i went up to the front and paid the cashier for what i bought. what i purchased costed the rest of my allowance, which i would normally be pissed about, but it was worth it.
i couldn't wait to get my money's worth.
the cashier said something about a lucky girl being grateful for what i just bought lately, but i just gave her a blank stare. honey, i'm gay as fuck, and the only person who was going to be grateful for my purchase is omar.
"ooh, let me see what you got," cassy squealed as we left the store.
i pulled the garments out of the bag, blushing at the slight embarasment that i actually am about to be out here wearing panties.
"aye, esketit!" she exclaimed after seeing what i bought. "they're so cute, i should have gotten some for myself."
after we got back home, i immediately hid what i just bought. it was a surprise.
i found myself growing bored as soon as i got home. omar was at work so i couldn't even fuck with him to pass the time like i normally do. i didn't have shit to do but just text people who wouldn't text back, and scroll through my dry ass instagram feed and watch youtube videos. i couldn't even watch tv, because the tv was fucking broke.
what they don't tell you about summer vacation is that you spend the majority of it being bored out of your mind. it's better than being in school obviously, but for a person with no life like me, 90% of my time is spent laying in bed, eating food and getting fatter.
fuck this. if i'm tired of being bored i have to do something about it
i pulled out my phone and started a groupchat
new text to: casey, stockly, jasseh, kumitrees, deigo & 💞💘omar💘💞
me: i'm boarded
jasseh: you're what
casey: he's boarded that's what he just sayed😒
me: rite😒 yall act like yall cant undarstend englesh and im the hispanic one
💞💘omar💘💞: nice to know that both of yall are just as illiterate as each other
me: who you callin elitarite
me: i wasnt eliterite when i wuz- nvm😊
casey: leaf me and gazi aloon we went to harvered
me: rite we sum harvered dropowts
me: mama raysed too genysuses
me: anyways im boarded and i wanna do something
💞💘omar💘💞: i wanna do you *unsent*
stockly: WE SAW THAT YOU ROTWEILLER BUILT BITCH
jasseh: omar really think he slick-
jasseh: stoke tease💀💀💀
stockly: i cant even argue cuz you right. that was me when i was closeted💀💀💀
💞💘omar💘💞:
💞💘omar💘💞: idk what yall are talking about
me: neether do i
me: anyways i want all of us to do something like going two the beech or something
me: cuz a nigga boarded
deigo: sorry i just saw this i was helping kimetrius wash his car
kumitrees: ^
jasseh: well damn ki tf you be doing to your car
jasseh: cuz it stay dirty
kumitrees: oh it gets dirty alright😏
deigo: veeeery dirty👀
deigo: i think we made another mess in the backseat
me: OH!
stockly: we get it. ki fucked the lisp out of you
stockly: now what should we do?
jasseh: we can all go to the amusement park
jasseh: i wanna ride a roller coaster
me: well i wanna ride omar
💞💘omar💘💞: 👀
me: 👀👀👀
me: but yeah i wanna go two
deigo: me too
deigo: kiiiii you wanna go?
kumitrees: yessss
kumitrees: ima win you the biggest teddy they got
me: aw
jasseh: stoke is already my teddy😤
me: mbn
stockly: jared looking ass
stockly: speaking of jared did he ever get with that reptile ass nigga
💞💘omar💘💞: man they fucking as we speak😒
💞💘omar💘💞: now when they get fired for fucking on the job-
me: mbn to get fucked
jasseh: mbn
stockly: jah i deadass just fucked you like 5 minutes ago
jasseh: round 2?
💞💘omar💘💞: so im guessing you didnt go through with it stoke?
me: what
casey: ???
jasseh: go through with what...
stockly: here your messy ass go...
stockly: brb
💞💘omar💘💞: wait no stoke dont do it
💞💘omar💘💞: i shouldnt have reminded you god fucking damn it
me: im confused
jasseh: wtf are yall talking about
jasseh: reminded him of what
stockly: jah lets talk about this later
kumitrees: uh oh