Tavi
I waited for an available elevator to stop at the hospital floor that I was on so that I could go home.
I’ve spent the entire day here with Addison and I was tired out.
Looking down at my phone I realized that it was 11 o’clock and I had to get up early in the morning for Micheal’s funeral.
The elevator doors opened and Shayne walked out.
He smirked at me but I just ignored him and got on the elevator.
A little piece inside of me was happy to see that he wants to actually be in Addison’s life.
It’s almost hard to believe, but another part of me wishes he would see how fucked up our relationship is.
I know we’ll probably never be together, but we’re parents and we hardly talk to each other without arguing.
I made it out the hospital and to my car.
I put the key in the ignition and turned it but when I did the car didn’t start.
I tried it several times but the car still didn’t start.
I placed my head on the stirring wheel and sighed.
My mom was at work, and Rasia was busy.
The only person that I could call was Marco.
After getting Marco’s voicemail for the third time I gave up.
There’s only one person that could help me right now and that’s Shayne.
After making it back up to the NICU and washing my hands, I walked towards Addison’s private section.
I stood in the doorway of the room watching Shayne on his phone and Addison sleep.
“So is this what you do when you come and see her?” I asked, catching him off guard.
He sighed. “She’s sleep, I don’t wanna wake her”
I shook my head and walked into the room standing near Addison’s incubator.
“She’s sleep all day, I’m sure waking her up won’t hurt her” I said.
I looked down at Addison and saw her sleeping peacefully under the purple light that helped her skin grow its pigmentation.
Shayne didn’t reply back to me, instead he went back to his phone.
“I’m glad she looks like me” I commented.
He looked up from his phone. “What’s that suppose to mean?”
“You’re ugly” I joked.
He chuckled. “Yeah you wasn’t saying that when I was beaten the pussy up”
I gasped at how bold he was.
“Whatever” I simply replied.
“So you came back up here to insult me?” He asked.
I shook my head. “No, I need you to take me home”
“What’s wrong with your car?” He questioned.
I hate asking him for stuff because he always gotta be a person to “clarify” shit.
I sighed. “It won’t start”
“Sounds like you’re shit out of luck” He chuckled.
I rolled my eyes. “Are you gonna take me home or what?”
He stood up and dug in his pocket for his keys. “Let’s go”
I looked at Addison one last time and followed Shayne out of the room.
“I told you, you were gonna need me in the long run” Shayne said as we approached his car.
“Shut up” I said walking over to the passenger side.
I tried opening the car door but it was locked.
“Open the door” I ordered.
“Tell me you need me” He smirked.
I smacked my lips. “C’mon don’t be childish”
He stood there waiting for me to say it.
“I need you” I finally said. “Now can you unlock the door?”
“A’ight now say I need you daddy” He requested.
I started laughing. “You’re reaching”
He smiled at me and finally clicked the button on his keypad to unlock the door.
We both got in the car and he made his way towards my house.
Shayne pulled over at a local gas station. “I’ll be back”
I nodded and watched him go into the store.
Five minutes later he came back out but he didn’t come out alone.
He was talking to Trina.
I smirked and answered my phone as it vibrated.
“Hello?”
“Yo, you cool?” Marco asked on the other end of the phone.
I nodded as if he could see me. “Yeah, my car wasn’t starting and I needed a ride from the hospital”
I watched as Shayne got back into the car and pulled off.
“Oh you need me to come get you?” He asked.
I smiled. “No, I got a ride. But thanks though I appreciate it”
“A’ight. I thought you were dying because you called me a bunch of times” He laughed.
“Naw, I was just in panic mode that’s all” I giggled. “But I’ll talk to you later”
“A’ight”
I hung up the phone and threw it back into my purse.
“Ya nigga?” Shayne asked.
I looked over at him confused. “No, a friend”
“Mhm” He hummed.
I started laughing. “Even if he was my nigga, why do you care?”
Shayne presents himself as if he cares about if I’m talking to someone or not.
But then he goes and says that he doesn’t wanna be with me.
“I don’t” He retorted. “It was a question”
“Jealous much” I mumbled.
“You gotta like someone to be jealous” Shayne stated nonchalantly.
I rolled my eyes ending the conversation.
I’d be lying if I said Shayne’s words didn’t hurt but it was the truth.
And now I know for sure that we’ll never be together.
He pulled up in front of my house and without hesitation I opened my door getting ready to get out of the car.
“Sorry about your dad” He mourned.
I simply smiled and got out the car making my way into my house.
“Hey I thought you were gonna be home earlier?” My mom greeted me at the door.
“My car wouldn’t start” I sighed.
“Well I’ll call a mechanic in the morning. You better get upstairs and get some rest for tomorrow though” She warned me.
I nodded. “I am”
I walked up the steps and made my way to my room and it was lights out from there.
<>
The next morning my mom and I stood outside the funeral home contemplating on when we should go in.
I looked down at my black dress and black peep toe heels to match.
I was nervous to go in but I knew that I had to do it sooner or later.
“Are you ready?” My mom asked.
I shook my head.
“Well whenever you’re ready we’ll go in” She told me.
I was only nervous because I didn’t know what to expect.
My reaction to this whole thing might be different from what I imagine it to be.
I grabbed her hand and started walking towards the door.
She looked at me and smiled and I did the same.
The smell of flowers hit me hard when I opened the door.
So many people dressed in all black and the depressing music playing in the background just made my skin crawl.
I’ve never been to a funeral before and it’s sad that my dad’s would be the first one I attend.
“I’m gonna go sign the guest book with our names” My mom whispered to me.
I nodded my head and looked straight ahead at the black casket that sat at the front of the room.
“Well don’t you wanna go up there and say something?” I heard someone say behind me.
I turned around and Debra stood there in an all black dress, black heels to match and a black veil over her face.
“I don’t know what to say” I admitted.
It’s not like I wanted to break down and cry and tell Micheal how much I love him and how I won’t be able to live without him.
He just appeared in my life so there wasn’t much to say.
“I remember when Micheal had to say something to his father when he died” She chuckled. “He was so nervous and so distraught all at the same time. But he went up there and told him everything that he ever wanted to tell him. And after he was done he whipped his tears and smiled. He told me that after he did that he accepted the fact that he was gone and was no longer sad”
I mentally rolled my eyes at the sad pointless story this old lady was telling me.
I didn’t wanna be rude so I gave her a warm smile.
“How nice” I stated.
My mom walked back over towards us and smiled at Debra but she didn’t pay her any attention.
“Even though Micheal wasn’t in your life, and didn’t know who you were, and you had to grow up without him and have no memories to share with him right now” She listed all the depressing moments of my life. “I’m sure there’s something that you would want to say to him”
“I’ll think of something to say” I lied.
There was no way I was going up to Micheal’s body and talk to him.
It was a creepy and I wasn’t into stuff like that.
“Don’t think about it, let it flow” She suggested.
I looked at her awkwardly as she walked away to go talk to other people in the funeral home.
“What was that all about?” My mom asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know”
My mom and I stood in the same spot for about ten minutes just watching everyone around us.
A lady walked pass us and went to the guest book.
When she turned around my heart literally stopped.
“Martina!” Debra rejoiced.
“Oh… my… god” My mom whispered.
I shook my head and watched Debra and Martina share a hug.
“Thought that bitch was dead” My mom mumbled.
I thought the same thing.
She hasn’t appeared in over seven months and now she shows up out of no where.
My mom and I watched as Debra and Martina chatted it up like they were long lost cousins.
“I can’t watch this” My mom said walking away.
I followed her out of the funeral home and watched her get into her car.
I opened the passenger door and got in. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Of course”
I knew my mom was feeling some type of way for the simple fact that Micheal was her first love.
And not only did he betray and deceived her but he did it with her best friend.
It seems as if everyone she loves treats her like shit, including me.
Tears came to my eyes as I thought about all the hateful words, and shit I put my mom through.
She didn’t deserve any of it at all.
“Mom, I’m sorry” I said whipping a single tear.
She looked over at me confused. “For what?”
“For what you have to go through. I never tell you enough but I really appreciate you and I love you so much. And I wouldn’t know what to do if it was you in that casket today instead of Micheal” I cried.
I didn’t hate Micheal at all.
It’s just that my mom has done everything for me and he hasn’t done a damn thing.
Although he was trying he still didn’t do much, and you get credit for the things you did not the things you were gonna do in the future.
“Awe Tav” She smiled. “You should be saying something like this to Micheal not me”
I nodded. “I know, but he wasn’t here long enough. He didn’t do the things you did. And he had his whole life to come and find me but he waited too long”
“Are you sure you don’t wanna go in there and say one last word?” She asked me.
“I’m sure. You’ve been here for me so I’m here for you, because I know you wanna beat the shit out of Martina and so do I” We laughed. “So let’s drive away from here in a mature way and not look back”
She nodded her head and started the car. “Good idea”
<>
I watched as Shayne walked up to the counter at my job and smile at me.
“What do you want?” I sighed.
I couldn’t take any more of Shayne’s shit, and was done entertaining him.
I guess you can say I’m still a little salty at what he said the other day in the car but who wouldn’t be.
“Attitude?” He asked. “Anyways, lemme get a number 4” He requested.
I typed in his order. “Is that it?”
He nodded. “Yup”
“And I’m guessing it’s to go right?”
He once again nodded.
“$5.69” I told him his total.
He handed me a ten. “Keep the change”
I rolled my eyes and turned around to prepare his things.
When I turned back around getting ready to give him his things, I saw the one and only Cheyenne chatting it up with Shayne.
I walked up to them and the conversation ended.
Shayne took the bag from me and left out the restaurant.
“Hey” Cheyenne smiled at me.
“You know him?” I asked her.
Daija wasn’t lying.
It’s crazy that I haven’t even mentioned Shayne to her yet and already she knows him.
She looked towards the door where Shayne left out. “No, not really. Why?”
“That’s Addison’s dad” I informed her.
She looked shocked. “Seriously?”
I nodded. “Yeah”
“It looked like you two hardly even know each other, but the fact that you two gave life is so sweet” She squealed.
I gave her a fake smile. “Yeah, I know”
“Well, I just came by here to turn in this application” She pulled out a piece of paper from her purse.
I took the paper from her. “I’ll give this to my manager”
She smiled. “Thanks. Put in a good word for me”
She walked away and left out the store.
“Oh, I’ll do that” I mumbled.
I took the application to the back and without hesitation ripped it up and threw it away.
I was not about to be working at the same place as this bitch, so that she could think we could get close.
I wanted to stay far away from her as possible.
<>
Shayne
“Yeah, ima wait for Jr. Bird to get back in town, but ima act like I don’t know the shit that I know” I said into the phone as I talked to Chris.
I stood next to my car in the McDonalds parking lot.
I didn’t even get in the car yet because I was too caught up on the conversation I was having.
“That’s smart, but whatchu gon’ do?” He asked.
“Ima dig around for clues, shit I need these detectives to back the fuck up” I stressed.
“I feel you. But I need to start worrying about my own shit” He said.
“What’s good? You cool” I asked concerned.
Chris’s has been my day one nigga since… day one.
If he had any problems I was there to back him up with what ever it is. Right or wrong.
“Yeah, Rasia’s just pregnant”
I sighed. “Damn, nigga”
“I know, I guess ima be livin’ the life as Shayne” He joked.
I chuckled. “Just play ya cards better then I did mine, and you’ll be cool”
I watched as the same girl that I’ve been running into for the past couple of days walk up to me.
“Oh I most definitely will” He said. “But, ima holla’ at you later”
“A’ight” I hung up the phone as the girl stood in front of me. “Wassup?”
“Every time I see you I never get your name” She smiled.
“I’m Shayne” I introduced myself.
“I’m Cheyenne” She giggled. “I guess I have to be the one to ask you out because you didn’t put that piece of paper I gave you use”
She was most definitely smoove with her words, which makes me think that she does this often.
“Nah, I’m just not good with remembering shit that’s all” I played it off.
“I would ask you if you wanted to go and get something to eat, but I see you already have your meal for the night” She stated.
“How you know I’m single” I asked.
She just came on to me not knowing a damn thing that I got going on.
“Well because you would have been told me if you had a girl, and there’s no way a women is letting her man eat take out” She replied.
I chuckled. “You’re right”
“Good, because I thought you had a girl for a second” She joked.
“I’d say we could do something tonight, but I got other plans. But we could do something tomorrow” I suggested.
She nodded her head. “Alright, sounds cool”
I pulled out my keys and unlocked the door. “I’ll talk to you later”
“Bye Shayne” She smiled before walking away.
I watched as she walked back into the McDonalds.
I started my car and made my way to the hospital to see Addison.
<>
Tavi
I watched as Cheyenne walked back into the restaurant.
“Hey, I was thinking do you wanna do something tonight?” She asked. “After you get off?”
“I can’t. I haven’t seen Addison all day, so I was gonna go see her when I get off” I replied.
I really didn’t wanna hang out with her.
So I used going to go see Addison as an excuse.
“Oh okay, well I’ll see you later” She smiled walking back out.
I shook my head and waited for the clock to hit 9 o’clock so I could go and see my baby girl.
<>
Shayne and I rode in silence in the elevator in his condo building.
We were both visiting Addison at the same time and when I was there Shayne told me that I left some things at his house.
So of course I wanted to go and get it just in case it was hings that I needed or that was important.
We walked into his condo and I got hit with the cold breeze.
“It’s freezing in here” I shivered.
“My bad” He replied going to his room to get whatever it is that I left.
He came back with a binder and I realized it was some of my work that I need for my senior project.
“Oh my god, you saved my life I need these” I snatched the binder from him.
“They don’t call me the life saver for no reason” He said in cocky tone.
I rolled my eyes and sat down on his couch and searched through the binder to make sure that everything was there.
“Why you gotta be like that?” Shayne questioned.
“Like what?” I asked looking up from my binder.
“So…” He searched for a word. “Bitter”
I gasped. “I’m not bitter”
I did find myself becoming a little bitter but I couldn’t admit it.
I was in denial.
“Whatever you say” He replied. “Oh and you forgot this”
He walked over towards me with the Givenchy purse that he bought me a couple weeks ago.
I shook my head. “I don’t want it”
“But I bought it for you” He stated. “At least take it”
I shook my head.
I refuse to take shit from Shayne.
I just don’t feel right doing so.
“Fine” He sat down next to me. “I’ll give it to Addison for her first day of kindergarten”
I started cracking up. “You’re a joke”
“And you’re bitter” He said.
“And you’re an asshole”
“And you’re fine as hell” He chuckled.
I shook my head. “I don’t understand you”
Shayne’s actions and words are very contradicting.
I can’t keep up with some of the things he tells me because his actions prove otherwise.
“What?” He questioned. “I can’t think the mother of my child is fine?”
“You don’t even like me” I commented.
“Doesn’t change your looks” He replied.
“What do you want from me?” I asked.
I couldn’t read him.
I didn’t know if he wanted me to admit to something, or tell him that I like him.
He was just confusing me like he always did.
He didn’t answer the question; instead we sat there looking at each other.
He had this killer grin on his face that made my insides tingle.
Before I knew it our tongues were wrestling and our lips were dancing together.
I just wanna take the time out and say #RIPALEX ; the 16 year old girl that was raped, impregnated, and murdered by her stepdad. Its crazy to know that people that laugh like us, hang out with their friends like us, take pictures on instagram like us are going through something so tragic at home. It's such a sad story.