Dedicated to MishaMFB for helping me write a better blurb. Thanks a bundle!
Anja stretched as she waited in front of the school, twisting around to loosen her back. Michelle was walking closer but that didn't make her feel any more relaxed. It was something in the way her interpreter walked, her normal springy footsteps had been replaced with a slouched shoulder. When she arrived, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
Hello, Anja said.
I was talking to the principal on Friday, Michelle said in place of a greeting. I told him I can't interpret for your math class or physics. He's going to hire another interpreter for those classes. I still be there until he finds one but then I'm out.
Why? Anja asked. She knew she probably shouldn't but that didn't stop her.
I can't interpret correctly if I don't understand what the teacher says. Michelle answered, attempting to push her hair back again. Anja's eyes flickered to the girl's exposed ear. Suddenly, the namesign seemed to fit better than it had a week ago.
The other classes?
I'll stay at those.
Anja nodded. Michelle was watching her for a response but Anja had nothing to say. Alright.
They stood there, awkwardly, for a moment until the bell rang.
Bye, Kristin said, tapping her sister on the shoulder before waving and leaving.
Michelle accompanied her to the physics classroom. Now that she was looking, Anja could see uncertainty in the signs. Even still, she had no problem understanding what was being taught. The teacher handed out homework and the bell rang, dismissing the students.
Physics was nothing compared to English. Every time the class finished Anja was caught between rage and embarrassment. Luckily, this time Ms. Halley put them in groups to work on their project. Oliver's bright hair made him easy to find.
When class is over, I have something to tell you, Oliver promised. Did you pick some books?
Yes, she passed over a list of books with the reasons she had chose them. He looked over the list blandly. Curiosity got the better of her. She reached over and tapped his hand. What did you want to say.
"Later"
Why?
"Fine," he conceded. He was just as anxious to tell and she was to know. "I was searching on the internet for you--not for you specifically. I mean for deaf stuff. Anyway, I was on the internet and I saw these special hearing aids called cochlear implants."
I know about those, Anja replied, crinkling her nose.
Oliver looked surprised. "Really? Why don't you have them?" Anja could tell he was trying to speak quietly by the way he hunched his shoulders over and leaned closer to her.
I don't want them and they're expensive, she explained. Besides, I don't want something in my head. I don't like the idea. I don't want to wear them then people think I'm hearing. It's not easy. I'd also need a lot of speech therapy. I never did it when I was supposed to, like as a four-year-old, so I'd have a lot of catch-up, She stuck out her tongue in disgust.
"But wouldn't it be easier?" Oliver asked, he was still baffled.
Anja had to pause to find a suitable answer. You should cut all your hair off and wear a wig.
"Why?"
You'd fit in better. With short black hair people would like you better. When it became apparent that he was not following her train of thought she switched her method. If there are ten hearing people and one deaf, the deaf person needs help right? She waited for him to nod before continuing. What if there were a group of ten deaf and one hearing. Now you need help. Hearing tend to judge what's good based on their standards. Many deaf are quite happy being deaf.
"Excuse me," Michelle signed, suddenly changing her demeanor. Anja followed Oliver's eyes to find Ms. Halley standing above them. "This does not sound like a conversation that is meant for class. Focus on your work or there will not be time for it in class."
Sorry, Anja said, turning meekly back to her paper. Oliver sent her a dirty look and resumed reading the list.
When class was finished, Oliver followed her outside. "You really don't want a hearing aid?" he asked dubiously.
Hearing aids are different. I have one of those. I never wear it. Why would I want a cochlear implant?
To listen to music.
I listen to music.
No way.
Ask my sister. Anja scanned the nearby area to find Kristin sitting at a cement table. She took off, leaving Oliver to either leave or follow. To her minor surprise, he followed. Yvonne sat at the table too, this time with an obnoxious green skirt that flowed past her knees. Anja ignored her to tap Kristin. Do I listen to music?
Kristin looked at the pale boy as he came up then back to Anja. Yes. Loudly. My ears. she answered, clapping her hands over her ears and making a face. Oliver, looking at Anja then back to Kristin, was plainly confused. Does he sign? she asked Anja.
No, Anja answered.
You need to tell me these things! Kristin exclaimed, a pink flush creeping over her cheeks. She began to speak rapidly to the boy, gesturing vaguely with her right hand. Across the table, Yvonne tried to keep her smirk from becoming a grin. After a moment she gave up and hid it behind her hand.
Yvonne noticed Anja watching her and waved politely, her smile slipping minutely. Anja remembered, somewhat suddenly, that when they met, Yvonne had introduced herself. How are you? She asked, making sure her signs were clear and slow.
Fine, how are you? Yvonne answered. It was obvious that she was proud of herself for understanding but she still bit her lip while she answered, concentrating intensely on the shape and movement of her hands while trying not to look at them.
Bored. School is boring. Anja answered. For a moment she was afraid she had overstepped her lingustic boundaries but, just as she was getting ready to apologize, Yvonne laughed.
The sound caused Kristin to look around suddenly, startled. She rolled her eyes and shook her head before turning back to Oliver and waving goodbye. Anja continued to stand awkwardly beside the table.
I’m leaving, Anja said. She quickly turned around and tried to leave but Kristin caught her sleeve.
Why? Are you mad at me? Asked Kristin, her eyes wide and earnest.
No, no, Anja answered, unsure of how to explain her situation. She had nowhere specific to go but didn’t want to hang around, following her sister everywhere. To do so would imply dependency and that was one thing she couldn’t stand.
Kristin interrupted her thoughts. Stay. C’mon. With that, Kristin turned and sat back at her table.
Why are you here? Anja asked, pointing to Yvonne and sitting down slowly on the bench. She perched herself on the edge and placed her bag delicately next to her feet. Kristin relayed the message to Yvonne before she answered.
She was arguing with her friend Kristin answered with a shrug.
The rest of the day passed without remark however the next day was quite infuriating.
When she entered her English classroom, Oliver was waiting for her, clutching a sheaf of papers. He handed her the papers, smiling. "I know you said you didn't want a cochlear implant but I really think it would be a good idea. I printed out some stuff on it."
Anja looked at him in shock. Slowly she put the papers on the nearest desk. Thanks but no. I really don't want an implant. They're expensive, I'd need years of therapy and I wouldn't be any happier.
"All the people that I read about online were happy with it," Oliver said.
Yeah. Why would the company tell everyone that the people dislike it? It's not something I want. It would make me less happy.
"Why?"
I am comfortable this way and I know where I belong. With an implant, I'd need a whole new identity. I'd no longer be Deaf Anja. I wouldn't be Hearing Anja either.
"Yes you would," insisted Oliver.
Anja had to pause for a moment to keep herself under control. It increases hearing while you're wearing it but when you take it off--nothing. I don't magically become hearing. I'm still deaf. For a moment she paused again then shook her head. You don't understand.
"You're right. I don't understand why you don't want to be better."
Anja's mouth dropped open in disbelief. Better?
"Yeah, there's lots of stuff you can do with a hearing aid that you can't do if your deaf."
Example? Anja demanded.
Driving.
Anja rolled her eyes. I'm going to take my test in two months. Example?
Oliver opened and closed his mouth once before Anja could see his tongue moving to say a word. Watch a movie.
Captions, Example?
"Use a phone"
VRS, Example?
"VRS?"
It's a deaf phone. Not too complicated.
Luckily, the bell rang, signalling the start of class. Anja stalked away, fuming. If she was a cat, her tail would definitely have been twitching behind her. Even when the class was over, Anja dodged Oliver and scrambled away to whatever was next. She pulled out her phone and deftly maneuvered through the ever-growing stream of students.
Even at lunch, when she found Kristin, Anja was still annoyed.
What's up? Kristin asked, seeing her sister draw nearer.
Anja plunked down, hardly noticing that her sister was alone. Guess what my partner did.
What? Kristin asked obligingly.
He told me to get an implant.
He what?!
He even said I'd be better with it.
You're lying. Knock it off.
I swear. Anja insisted, drawing a cross over her heart and raising her hands.
Wow. They sat there for a moment. How mad are you?
Very. But you'd be proud of me. I didn't yell at him.
Really? Kristin raised her eyebrows in disbelief.
Really, Anja smiled, half ashamed. I just looked at him like he was crazy and didn't say much.
Before Kristin could think of a suitable response, Anja's phone vibrated. She pulled it out and looked at it before placing it on the table.
Who was it? Kristin asked.
David. I told him about it. Anja answered.
Hey, did you explain yourself to your partner?
No, why? He's the one that's wrong.
Kristin did not answer immediately. Instead, she pulled up her legs and adjusted herself so she leaned against the table. Some hearing people just don't know that it's offensive.
Anja crossed her arms but keeping her opinion to herself was beyond her capabilities. You want me to apologize?
No, no, no. I want you to explain why you're mad. I bet he doesn't know what he did.
Anja bit her lip for a little while, pondering the situation. I think you're right. He is clueless. I'll tell him in class tomorrow.
Today would be better. Kristin prodded.
Anja rolled her eyes. I don't know where he is.
Kristin rolled her eyes back, making fun of the way Anja had. If you wanted to, I know you could find him.
If I see him between classes, I'll tell him. I'm not going to waste time looking for him.
Despite herself, when Kristin nudged her to class at the end of lunch, she kept an keen eye out for Oliver's bright head. If she remembered correctly, he would be wearing a blue shirt. When she arrived in her classroom, she gave a tiny sigh of relief. He had not been present at all.
Unfortunately, when that class finished, he was one of the first people she saw. She reacted almost without thinking, reaching out and snagging his arm before he even noticed she was there. He was obviously quite surprised to see her.
Please come, she signed. She could see on his face that he had no idea what she had said but he nodded anyway. He followed her back inside the classroom where Michelle was still standing. Interpret real quick, please?
Yes, Michelle answered, nodding.
Anja swallowed and flexed her fingers. "I was a little rude last class. It was because you..." she paused for a moment, searching for the proper word. "Offended me. Deaf have a thing called being direct. My sister tells me hearing people don't really do this as much. Anyway, I say exactly what I think. It's how I am. Telling me to get an implant is like telling me to change part of myself. It's not a simple or cheap procedure. It might help me to hear and speak but that's not really something I'm interested in doing. The way I am now is good enough. I have everything you have and neither of us have an implant."
***
Alright, that's the end of this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I've uploaded a vlog on the side of this about deaf technology. Please vote or comment if you liked or have something to say. I love reading your comments! Also, let me know if you have any ideas for the next vlog. I'm willing to do things related to ASL, Deafness, interpreting, character development or almost anything else. If you have questions I'll trying to anwer them in the next vlog (if you don't mind, of course) Cheerio! Kli