Hey guys, I just got back from school today and I know this is like one of the first things I posted in a week but just letting you know, I need help.
Last Friday I went to a school dance for 8th graders and 7th graders. Since I'm in seventh grade (yep, I'm 12) I went to the dance and had fun but towards the middle of the dance, (no I did not tell my parents this) my crush/bff asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Yep, this happened. I was freaking out internally. So I said, "I'll think about it." And walked away. Once he couldn't see me, I dashed to the girls bathroom to calm myself down.
Then towards the end of the dance, I wanted to ask him if he wanted to dance with me. It was all planned out on the spot. One of my friends asked the DJ to put a slow song and another was being blunt and said "(I ain't revealing mah real name) wants to dance with you but is too nervous to ask." To my crush/bff. Then he went over to me and asked if I wanted to dance with him. So I said yes, blah blah blah, everyone kept pestering us, blah blah blah, we hugged, went to the photo booth to take pictures, and went home.
Anyway, that's not the point. Today at lunch he and we're walking back to class. And he asked me if I decided my asnwer. Since I was scared of what my parents would say, the fact that I'm only 12, and that he's younger than me I said with a frown, " I'm not ready, but maybe in 8th grade. Just not now." He was gonna answer but then his boy best friend being a somewhat pain, literally jumped in and yelled "HI!" THEN I FREAKING WALKED AWAY.
Now that I'm home, I feel very depressed, hollow, empty. And I just want to watch TV, eat/drink ice cream/hot cocoa, and cry.
It's not that I dislike him, he is amazing, but I'm scared that we aren't of age yet and my parents don't know. He makes me feel things I've never felt before. Whenever he smiles I can't help but smile and feel warm inside. He calms me down yet also makes me laugh. I could look into his deep brown eyes forever and never get tired. The list is practically endless and I could talk about how adorable he is or him in general. Yet I'm still scared and don't know what to do.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Stay awesome,
-Author~Chan~