Total Drama Pahkitew Island Re-write
Episode 2: I Love You Grease Pig
Written by TDThomasFan725
Chris: (Voice over, Recapping last episode) Last time on Total Drama Pahkitew Island, 14 all new contestants came to compete on our new island for a shot at one million dollars. And the teams were made; Team Kinosewak and Team Maskwak. Their first challenge was to build their own shelters. Some results were great while others were both painful and hilarious. (Laughs) In the end, Team Kinosewak's treehouse beat out Team Maskwak's poorly constructed Wizard's Tower. And crazy sound effects Beardo was the first competitor to be eliminated off the island via our new mode of transport; The Cannon of Shame. (Laughs evilly. Cuts to Chris at the bonfire.) 13 players still in the game. Who will go home next? Find out right now on Total Drama Pahkitew Island.
(Opening Credits)
(Cuts to Kinosewak's treehouse. Jasmine is sleeping on a tree branch right above it. She wakes up and unties a rope wrapped around her leg to keep her from falling off in her sleep (as seen in almost every episode) and then jumps down onto the treehouse balcony.)
Amy: (Angry, pokes her head out of the window) Hey, what's with all the noise?
Jasmine: I'm going out to pick berries for our breakfast.
Amy: Really? Do you want some help?
Jasmine: Sure, I could use an extra set of hands.
Amy: OK! (Heads back into the treehouse to push Sammy (in her pajamas) out) Samey, go out there and get my breakfast for me. GOT IT!
Sammy: (Upset) Yes.
Amy: Oh, and after we win today's challenge, you can wash your pajamas and give them to me. I should be the one to sleep in proper sleepwear.
Sammy: But why didn't you just quickly grab yours before leaving the...
Amy: (Outburst) DON'T YOU TALK BACK TO ME! (Jasmine gasp) YOU EXIST TO SERVE ME! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?
Sammy: (Lowers her head in shame) Yes!
(Confessional)
Amy: After I was born, mommy and I had to wait 17 minutes for Samey to come out. If I could walk, I would have just left. Giving birth to Samey was her only mistake; and she agrees with me. Samey's whole existence is a mistake. (Annoyed) I always wished that Samey would not exist on my birthday, but it never came true. Yeah I said "mine" not "ours". She doesn't deserve one.
(End Confessional)
(Cuts to Maskwak on the beach where they slept)
Leonard: (Finishing a story) It was then, that I encountered a ferocious monster. But I was able to stop it with a displacement spell.
Sugar: (Impressed while looking into the mirror that Ella is holding) My word, that was a good story. You're very brave Mr. Wizard.
(Ella begins to sing and twirls around)
Ella: "A harrowing tale of dungeons and dice,
and besting a monster that just wasn't nice!"
Sugar: (Angry) No one asked for a song; Princess of the Jesters!
(Confessional)
Sugar: I know what Ella is up to; she is trying to steal my spotlight so that everyone will notice her and not me. Well that ain't gonna happen. NOBODY BUT ME IS WINNIN THIS HERE PAGEANT!
(End Confessional)
Dave: Ptts, as if I would listen or believe in your silly made up stories.
Leonard: (Offended) MADE UP! These stories actually happened.
Sky: Guys, we can't start fighting now. We need to find a legitimate shelter.
Dave: I agree! We had to sleep in the rain and had to use rocks as pillows. (Cringes) Dirty, un-sanitized rocks.
Leonard: I levitated in my sleep.
(Confessional)
Dave: (A little terrified) Did I fall on my head when I jumped off of the zeppelin? Is this really all a bad dream? I think it is. (Annoyed) But the one question that I do know is; Should Leonard be locked up in a mental institute? Yes, he does!
(Cut's to Sky's)
Sky: I thought I could believe in my teammates. But I guess I'm going to have to take charge and be a strong leader to them. Besides, if we don't start winning some challenges, I won't be able to make it to the finale. I know that sounds a little selfish to think about myself going to the end, (sounds a little desperate) but I really need the million dollars; even more than any other contestant in Total Drama history. But I can't say what it is. It's too personal.
(End Confessional)
Sky: OK team, just because we lost yesterday doesn't mean we'll lose today. So let's go out there and win one. GO TEAM MASKWAK!
Everyone but Dave: GO TEAM MASKWAK!
Dave: (Weakful cheer) Yeah, Go Team Maskwak!
(Cuts to Jasmine and Sammy picking fruit in the woods)
Jasmine: (Confused) Why is there a Chinese Mulberry Bush here? It doesn't make sense to have one here on this...
Sammy: (Off screen) Hey, a green apple. Amy won't get her hands on this.
(Sammy is about to take a bite out of the apple)
Jasmine: NO! (She quickly picks up a stick and throws it at the apple. It stabs right through it and is darted onto a tree.)
Sammy: Wow, if you wanted a bite you could have just ask.
Jasmine: Do you know what that is? It's a...
Shawn: (From on top of a tree) A Magineo Fruit! The Spanish called it "Manzania La Moruerde", (jumps down next to them) which translates to "Little Apple of Death". Although not lethal, it can give you one heck of an itch and a terrible swelling up feeling in your throat.
Sammy: (Looks at her hand; all pink and covered in red spots. She gasp.) My hand! It's all itchy!
Shawn: Congratulations, you've just learned your first lesson in Wilderness Survival 101; know your flora. Step 2; soak your hand in water. Step 3; scrub it with sand, swelling goes down, Done. No more bad itch.
Sammy: But what about the forging?
Jasmine: You won't be of any help if your hand swells up like a Wicket Keepers Glove. (Sammy and Shawn look confused) Cricket? It's a game. (Gives up) Just go! (Sammy leaves) So Shawn, that's a nice stash of berries you've got there.
Shawn: Yeah, when you're out in the wild, you need to do whatever it takes to survive a zombie invasion. (Starts doing some combat moves)
Jasmine: Yeah, survival really is key. Those zombies could be anywhere.
Shawn: (Surprised) You think?
Jasmine: But I know you can out last them. (Gives him a gentle punch in the shoulder) You've got the skills.
Shawn: (Excited) Hey thanks!
(Confessional)
Shawn: Wow, no one has ever taken a liking to my fear of the undead before. Huh, I'm impressed!
(Cuts to Jasmine's)
Jasmine: That Shawn has got a lot of skills; and he's also very funny. Zombies! (She chuckles as if it was a joke; with she thinks it is)
(End Confessional)
Chris: (Over loudspeaker) GOOOOOD MORNING PAHKITEW ISLAND! Would all contestants please report to the forest by the river. It's challenge time!
(Cuts to Maskwak. They eat the berries Shawn got as they walk to the forest.)
Dave: Thanks for finding these berries for us Shawn.
Sugar: They sure a juicy.
Sky: Now that's what I like to call good team work.
Shawn: Thanks guys! Since you had a rough night, I thought a good meal would perk you up.
(Cuts to Kinosewak. They eat the berries Jasmine and Sammy got as they walk to the forest.)
Topher: This fruit is amazing! Thanks Jasmine! Thanks Amy!
Sammy: But I was the one who...
Amy: Oink, oink, who is that? A silly little pig named Samey!
(Jasmine glares at Amy)
(Confessional)
Jasmine: It's hard to believe that those two are twins. (Annoyed) Someone's got to teach Amy a lesson.
(End Confessional)
(Cuts to the riverside forest)
Chris: Welcome everyone! Today's challenge is called "The Oopstacle Relay of Hilarious Hurts". (He laughs. Everyone else is nervous. Pans over to each oopstacle as he goes over them.) The first part is to walk across the greased log bridge over a thorny bog, next is a ride along a greasy zip line over a ravine, and then it's a little journey through the "Greasetacular Tubetacular", then it's a mad dash though the greased tires, onwards to the greasy wheel barrel race, and finally, a slippery climb up the greased wall. (Cuts back to Chris) The first team to complete the relay wins immunity.
Dave: (Nervous) That's a lot of grease!
Chris: Yes it is! And it was all laid out by today's Total Drama cameo; Noah!
(Pans over to Noah; covered in grease as he dumps the last bucket onto the Wheel Barrel leg of the relay)
Noah: Ugh, this is not what I wanted to come back for.
Chris: Hey, you wanted to do something since you were bored back home.
Noah: Yeah but handling grease wasn't what I had in mind. I hope you plan to pay me for this?
Chris: Who said I was going to? Contestants, old and new, only get paid when they win the million. Not for doing my work for me.
Noah: (Slams the bucket down to the ground) Ugh! That's it, I'm out of here! (Looks at the new cast) Word of advice; never trust a slippery snake like McLean. (He walks away)
Topher: Wow; humiliation and outrage! Once again Chris, your genius never fails.
Chris: Thank you Topher! OK, once you have completed your leg of the relay, you will pass a baton to your teammate.
Sky: Pass batons to a teammate huh? This doesn't seem too hard.
Topher: Sky, I have watched this show since episode 1 and I can assure you that it definitely won't be easy.
Chris: He's right! Instead of using regular batons, you will be using (Chef arrives with two wild pigs) wild greased bores.
Chef: Wow, nice piggy's! Easy does it! (One of them kicks him in the gut. He falls to the ground.)
Chris: (Laughs) One person from both teams must pick an oopstacle to compete on. The choice is up to you.
Amy: But there are 6 obstacles and there are 7 of us.
Chris: Two of you will have to double up on and oopstacle. Better hurry and choose. The clock is ticking!
Rodney: (Love struck for Jasmine) Two hearts strong can't...
Amy: (Punches him in the stomach) Will you just shut up?
(Rodney's eyes glitter again. His love frame appears around Amy; she looks both confused and annoyed.)
(Confessional)
Rodney: Wow, I've never felt this way about anyone before. But Amy and I have something. (Upset) It's going to be hard to break up with Jasmine. But I have to do what's right in my heart.
(End Confessional)
Jasmine: I'll take the last obstacle. Rodney, you take the first.
Topher: But which two of us will work together?
Amy: Samey and I will work together.
Jasmine: (Confused) OK?
(Confessional)
Sammy: Did you here that? Amy wants to work with me. (Excited) Guess she finally realized how great I am.
(End Confessional)
Amy: I can't trust Samey with anyone of you. I'll keep an eye on her to make sure that she doesn't screw this up for us.
(Confessional)
Sammy: (Upset and annoyed) I knew it was too good to be true.
(End Confessional)
Jasmine: OK, now we know where we have to go; Rodney starts on the log, Topher on zip line, Amy and Samey on tubes, Scarlett on tires, Max on wheel barrel, and I'll finish with the wall. (She claps her hands) Let's Go!
(Everyone runs to their assigned obstacle. Cuts to Maskwak.)
Dave: Sky should take the wall. Her strength could be useful there.
Sugar: No, Leonard should take the wall. He has magic!
Dave: I think it's better if he starts.
Sugar: (Threatening) DON'T TALK BACK TO ME!
Dave: (Nervous) OK, Sky can take the first obstacle.
Sugar: (Calm) Much better! Though I guess he could do both of them and just leave Sky on the side lines.
(Confessional)
Sky: (Offended) I never sit on the side lines! Well, unless someone on my team takes his or her turn in my place. I believe that every player should be a part of a team.
(End Confessional)
Dave: How can Leonard be in two places at once?
Leonard: I could if I had the mucus of a dizantium.
Ella: That's Amazing!
Sugar: (Angry) Who asked about your opinion? (Ella backs off) OK, Sky goes first, Leonard goes last. Everyone else, just pick an obstacle; I don't care which one. Now let's GO!
(Confessional)
Sky: (Annoyed) Sugar, not only am I not a side liner, I'm a better leader than you. (Thinks for a second) Actually me, Dave, and Shawn are better leaders than you. You need to know EXACTLY what to do when you are in charge.
(End Confessional)
(Cuts to Max at the Wheel Barrel leg of the relay. He pulls out a helmet.)
Max: Time to evil!
Scarlett: (Calls out from the tire race) What is that thing?
Max: It is an evil mind control device! It will make any animal that wears it my slave to do my bidding. Watch as I test it on this innocent bunny. (He places the helmet on the bunny. He gasps in delight.) You see that? Look how evil it is.
Scarlett: (Sarcastic) Goosebumps Max! I have Goosebumps!
(Confessional)
Max: I made this out of one of Chris' security cameras and an underwear elastic. Unfortunately it doesn't work yet. But when it does, I will find the biggest and strongest animal to all of my biddings. (Evil laughs. His voice cracks up. He groans.) How hard is it to do an evil laugh?
(End Confessional)
(Cuts to Sky and Rodney are at the starting line with their pigs)
Chris: Alright then, on your marks, get set, GO! (Blows air horn)
(Sky's pig runs around back and forth)
Sky: Hey, come back here!
Rodney: OK, giddy up little piggy. Come on! (The pig doesn't move)
Topher: Just pick him up and carry him big guy.
(Rodney picks the pig up and runs for the logs. He has a hard time walking up the greasy slope. Sky and her pig arrive. She struggles to push it up.)
Sky: Come on! (She groans. The Pig then farts in her face. She coughs.) Oh gross! Behave yourself will ya?
Shawn: You can do it Sky! Just imagine that pig as an oversized zombie and push it away as hard as you can.
(Sky keeps on pushing until the pig slides to the top of the log. Sky leaps into the air and rides it to the other side.)
Sky: Woohoo!
(Rodney still struggles; he's half way done. Sky jumps off her pig as it slides towards Shawn.)
Shawn: Way to go Sky! (The pig crashes into him)
(Rodney's pig jumps out of his arms and runs towards Topher. He then slips and lands on his groin on the log.)
Chris: (Cringes with a smile) Ooh, Now that's what I called "Greased Nuts". (Both he and Chef laugh)
(Rodney slides down the log in pain. He moans.)
Shawn: (Giving the pig a "Piggy"back ride) There's the zip line. We can make it across if we just use our brains. (The pig bites him in the head) Aw, I said use them not bite them. (He screams as he falls off the cliff and into the water below)
Topher: (Carrying his pig on his back. He starts narrating.) And cool guy Topher learns from
Shawn's mistake to take the lead. (He zip lines across the ravine) Chris this is an awesome challenge.
(Cuts to Chris. Topher is on the monitor.)
Chris: Thank you Topher!
Topher: It must have taken you all night to come up with this challenge, because it sure looks like it.
Chris: (Concerned) Do I look tired?
(Chef shrugs. Cuts to Topher successfully completing his leg of the relay.)
Topher: (Narrates) And Topher passes the bacon over to his fellow teammates.
(Topher passes the pig to Amy and Sammy. Amy runs ahead while Sammy pulls it by the leash. Shawn climbs to the other side of the ravine and gives the pig to Sugar.)
Sugar: (Carries it upside down) Awe, you're such a sweetie, aren't you Greased Pig? Come on, mama's gonna take you home when I win the million. (She runs towards the pipes)
Topher: Which pork will win first? Find out when we return to Total...
Chris: (Behind Topher, coughs) Ahem!
Topher: Oh, sorry Chris! I forgot this was your thing.
Chris: No hard feelings! (Topher copies Chris' moves behind his back) Which team's pork chop will win first prize? And whose will be left roasted? Find out when we return to more Total Drama Pahkitew Island.
Topher: Woohoo! That never gets old.
Chris: I know right?
(Commercial Break)
(Cuts to the pipes)
Sugar: Yahoo! (She enters the pipes) Time to find the light at the end of this tunnel, eh, pipe.
(Amy and Sammy arrives)
Amy: Stop slacking and get both your butt and the pig's into that pipe. I'm the beauty and the brains. You're the doer of everything stinks.
Sammy: (Growls)
(Confessional)
Sammy: I swear, if Amy pushes me any further, I might just snap and actually say something really bad to her. I am usually out-numbered by her and her friends or mommy. But since it's just her and me, I might have an advantage here.
(End Confessional)
(Their pig suddenly smells something on the other side of the pipes and runs towards it; dragging Amy and Sammy with it)
Amy: Aw watch it!
Sammy: It's not my fault! It's the pigs!
Amy: Which one?
Sugar: (Coming out of the pipes, covered in grease, towards Ella) Yeah, mama made it out!
Ella: Good job Sugar! Now it's my turn to take him.
Sugar: No! (Pulls pig back) I want to keep him.
Ella: Well maybe I could pig sit for you.
Sugar: Well...
(Ella starts singing)
Ella: "Hey there, little girl or fella,
if you came over here,
it would be mighty swellaaaaa!"
(The pig jumps out of Sugar's arms and runs towards Ella. She hugs him; which makes him happy.)
Sugar: No! I LOVE YOU GREASE PIG!
(Confessional)
Sugar: (Annoyed) Someone's gotta shut that no good pig stealing singing princess up. Once she is gone, then I'll go after Sky.
(End Confessional)
(Ella sings and dances with the pig across the tires; singing in "AH's")
Dave: Yeah,good job Ella! Bring it here! (The pig carries Ella up with one hoof while it dances slowly towards him) Uh, a little faster please?
(Cuts back to the pipes. Amy, Sammy, and their pig run out of the pipe. The pig runs towards the smell.)
Sammy: (Covered in grease while wiping the grease off of Amy) Oh, I'm sorry! Here let me...
Amy: (Swipes Sammy's hand away) I don't need you to clean me up. And I don't need your pity. I want you out of my sight. If we lose, you will be the one going home to mommy where she can ground you for being a big disappointment to me. GOT IT!
Sammy: (Upset) Got it!
(Cuts to Scarlett; dropping pecan's on the ground as that was the scent that the pig smelled)
Chris: (Over loud speaker) And Scarlett has found a way to lure her pig to the grease tires.
(The pig runs across the tires)
(Confessional)
Scarlett: Pig love pecans! They probably know that pecans delay the progression of age related motor neurons to generation.
(End Confessional)
(Cuts to Dave and Max at the wheel barrels)
Dave: Hurry up Ella! Scarlett is about to pass you.
(Ella continues to sing and dance with the pig)
Ella: "We're right where we belong,
with an oink and a song!
We are moving right along to the-"
(Chris blows his air horn into the loud speaker. The pig is startled and runs around.)
Ella: (Angry) Hey, you scared him.
Chris: (Over loud speaker) There is no singing allowed this season, NONE!
(Ella gasps. Cuts to Max. Scarlett arrives.)
Max: Excellent! Now get in the wheel barrel pig. (The pig doesn't listen) I said get in! Here,
(gives Scarlett the helmet) hold this. Come on...
(Scarlett examines the helmet and sees that it wasn't plugged in. She plugs it in. Max looks back.)
Max: Oh, you fixed it! Thank You! (He takes the helmet and places it on the pig. The pig turns evil and jumps into the wheel barrel.) Onward to victory! (He runs with the pig-filled wheel barrel)
(Ella finally arrives)
Ella: Here I am. (Hands the lease over to Dave) Here you go.
Dave: (Disgusted) Ew, it's all greasy!
Ella: But it's your turn to take Mr. Trufflehunter.
Sugar: (Off-screen) His name is Grease Pig!
Ella: Come on!
(Confessional)
Dave: (Gulps) How bad could it be? No one said it was actual grease.
Chris: (Loud speaker outside) I forgot to mention that this grease comes from the grease trap of Chef's Restaurant.
Dave: (Sighs)
(End Confessional)
Dave: (Nervous) OK! (He takes the lease and the pig jumps into the wheel barrel. He runs after Max.)
(Cuts to Max)
Max: (Looks back and sees Dave) Now minion, do something to slow him down.
(Max's pig picks up some grease and flings it at Dave. It hits his right shoulder.)
Dave: (Panics) Ah, it's on me! (More grease it them flung onto his face. He panics even more.)
Max: Ha, that's what you get when you're up against evil masterminds like me. (He laughs evilly. Grease is flung at his face. He Gasps.) Stop it this instant. You're supposed to get him, not me.
(He trips and slides on his face on the grease as Dave runs past him. Dave's wheel barrel hits a rock and flings his pig over to Leonard by accident and panics over the grease.)
Dave: Ah, it's all over me! (He waves his arms around) Sanitizer, I NEED SANITIZER!
Sky: (Holds onto Dave's arms) Hey, it's OK! Look at me. Breathe!
(Dave breathes in and out; it gets slower with each breath. He finally calms down.)
Sky: There you go! (Wipes the grease off his face with her hand) Feel better?
Dave: Yeah!
(Dave then smiles at Sky while Sky smiles back as the camera pans in closer towards their faces as it cuts between them)
(Confessional)
Dave: Wow, I've never felt this calm before. When I look at Sky, I feel at ease. I wonder if she feels the same way.
(Cuts to Sky's)
Sky: Dave is a nice guy, and a great new friend, but I didn't come here to fall in love. I came to win! I've got something more important to do right now. Once that is done, I can then look for romance.
(End Confessional)
(Some grease then hits Sky's back and the back of her head. It came from Max's pig.)
Dave: (Worried) Sky, are you okay?
Sky: Yeah, it's just grease. It didn't hurt.
(Cuts to Max)
Max: STOP! YOU WILL OBEY ME! (He trips again and the wheel barrel moves towards the others)
(Max's pig continues to fling grease at the others as they run away. Max's wheel barrel crashes into Dave's and the pig falls out as well as the helmet; which is then smashed to the ground.)
Max: (Gasp) No, my helmet!
Jasmine: (Runs up to the pig; who is still in a bad mood) Calm down there big fella. Easy! (She stares at the pig. A Didgery Doo is playing in the background as Jasmine's word "Easy" is echoing around. The pig then calms down, pants like a dog, and then rolls on its back.) There you go! (She rubs its stomach) That wasn't so hard was it?
(Cuts to Leonard at the wall)
Leonard: "Pigas Levitatas this Intas!" (Nothing happens) "Piggy piggy float over the wall, win this challenge for us and, um, all!"
(The pig still doesn't leave the ground. The rest of Maskwak arrives.)
Dave: (Annoyed) Stop chanting and just carry the pig over the wall.
Leonard: Silence! A Wizard never carries anything but a magic wand or a staff.
Sugar: Yeah, (slaps Dave in the face) so put a sock in it and let the wizard do his thing.
Leonard: Thank You! Why can't you be more supportive like her?
Dave: (Outburst) I AM SUPPORTIVE; just not towards people who think that they can do things that only exist in fantasies when in fact they cannot. So stop this silliness, pick up the pig, and
CLIMB THAT WALL!
Jasmine: (Off-screen) Don't bother!
(Maskwak notices that Jasmine has successfully climbed the wall with her pig in her left hand)
Chris: (Loud speaker) And the amazing outback has triumphed over the fake wizard.
Leonard: Hey!
Chris: Team Kinosewak wins!
(Team Kinosewak cheers except for Max)
Scarlett: Come on Max, we won!
Max: I would if my pig minion had listened to me and that my helmet wasn't smashed to pieces.
Scarlett: There will be plenty more opportunities to do evil. How about I help you with your mission to become the greatest evil genius ever.
Max: Tempting, but you got a deal!
(Confessional)
Max: Ha ha, sucker! Once I have grown to ultimate evil power thanks to Scarlett's help, I will make her wish she never had. (Evil laugh; almost perfect) Ooh, I've almost got the perfect evil laugh.
(End Confessional)
Chris: Congratulations! Tonight, your victory dinner comes from "Jimmy's Beaks and Feet; (shows a bucket of fried chicken beaks and feet) our chickens walk the walk, not the talk, and put them in the fryer." (He tosses the bucket to Jasmine) Now that's evil!
Max: (Annoyed) Huph!
(Cuts to Kinosewak walking back to the treehouse)
Sammy: (Excited) Jasmine, that was amazing! You're the coolest person I have ever met!
Jasmine: Thanks, and you're the first person besides my family who has ever said that.
(Sammy blushes. Rodney interrupts.)
Rodney: Jasmine, I am sorry to say that two giants no together, can't stick love, eh, what I mean is, (pauses) I can't do this!
(He runs away sobbing. Jasmine and Sammy look at each other awkwardly. Cuts to Maskwak in the same cave that Max found.)
Sky: Wow Shawn, you did it again!
Shawn: Yeah, I figured that another night sleeping in the rain won't help us win.
Dave: Great, so you will sleep with us now.
Shawn: Nope, I'm still going to sleep where I was last night; in a tree just like Jasmine. It's not that I don't trust you all, entirely, I just want to protect myself from any zombies.
Sugar: Zombies? Boy you are the craziest man I have ever met; next to the germiphobic whiner.
Dave: (Annoyed) Hey!
Shawn: Ugh! And that is also why I won't share this cave with you; (he begins to walk out of the cave) no one believes in the undead like I do. Well, maybe except for Jasmine.
Chris: (Loud speaker) Attention Team Maskwak, please report to the bonfire ceremony. It's time for one of you to go home.
(Cuts to the Bonfire. Maskwak's pig is sitting next to Sugar.)
Chris: OK, you've all cast your votes. (Hold the plate of marshmallows) Time to see who will be shot out of the cannon.
(Confessional)
Dave: It is SO obvious!
(Cuts to Sky's)
Sky: You were of no use in the challenge. Sorry!
(Cuts to Shawn's)
Shawn: You don't believe in zombies and your leadership cost us a win. Well Honey Boo Hoo to you!
(Cuts to Sugar's)
Sugar: It's definitely not the wizard. (Devious) It's the princess that has to go.
(Cuts to Ella's)
Ella: How can I vote? I like them all!
(Cuts to Leonard's)
Leonard: (Annoyed) You don't believe in me! Maybe you'll believe in the cannon; you worrying freak!
(End Confessional)
Chris: The following players are safe; (throws marshmallows) Shawn, Sugar, Dave, and Sky.
Sugar: (Offers the marshmallow to the pig) Here you go Grease Pig. (The pig just gets up and runs away) NO, come back!
Chris: Guess he wasn't hungry. Now Leonard, you're on the chopping block for doing nothing to help your team win. (Leonard lowers his head) Ella, you're on the chopping block for your annoying singing.
Ella: But my songs aren't annoying.
Sugar: (Rolls her eyes in annoyance) He was talking about you in general.
Chris: Whether it is the song itself or you, you are annoying either way. So the last marshmallow goes to...
(Cuts back and forth between a nervous Leonard and Ella)
Chris: Ella!
Ella: Yes!
Leonard: (Shocked) What? This can't be happening! "MAGIC BOOTS AND ARMPIT SMELLS; BRING FORTH A TIME REVERSAL SPELL!"
Chris: Chef, if you please!
(Chef grabs Leonard. Cuts to Leonard in the cannon.)
Leonard: "Oh Alaka-crud!"
(Leonard is fired out of the cannon; screaming into the night. Everyone else heads back to the cave except for Sugar.)
Sugar: Goodbye wizard, (she gets teary eyed) I LOVE YOU!
(Confessional)
Sugar: (Sobbing) Don't worry Leonard, I will avenge you. (Turns angry) First, I'll get rid of Ella, then Sky, then Dave. I'll save Shawn for last, or better yet, (devious) crush him in the finale. There can be only one; and that is I.
(End Confessional)
Chris: Will Team Maskwak musk up a victory? Or will they continue to lose until there are none of them left? Sounds like we've found the "New Team Victory!" (Laughs) Find out next time on Total
Drama Pahkitew Island.
(End Credits)
(Fades into the loser's beach where Leonard crashes his head into a crab trap. He struggles to get it off. He pulls out his wand.)
Leonard: "Fish and chips, butter and bread, get this thing off of my head!"
(He taps the trap with his wand and the trap just falls off)
Leonard: (Gasps in delight) Yes, I did it! Who's the fake now Whiner? (Devious) Time to send Dave a little present. He will believe in my magic so enough. (He looks towards the ocean and waves his wand again. Storm clouds swirl above him.) "I curse ye and everyone who doubted me!" (Lightning then strikes on him; covering him in black ash and smoke) Oh Magic! (He faints in pain)