That week seemed to take forever. It was like the world was punishing me for the great week I had before. It wasn't that anything bad happened. No.
It was that I couldn't wait for Julian to come back from his trip so that I could talk to him. What Bonnie told me really concerned me and I wanted to make things clear with him. I didn't care as much that I would hurt him because I was a little angry at him for making assumptions and talking about proposing after only three months of dating me.
It was finally Saturday and Julian had agreed to come to my house for dinner tonight. I spent the afternoon going grocery shopping, making up a million ways the conversation with Julian could go tonight in my head.
"Hey," Alexa said as I walked into the house. "Need help?" She asked looking at the grocery bags in my hands.
"Yes, please."
"You okay?" She asked as we went back to the car to get the rest of the bags.
"Yeah, just nervous about tonight."
We made our way back into the house with the rest of the grocery bags.
"Don't you want me to stay instead?" Alexa asked. "I could stay in my room and I won't make any noise, I promise."
I had told Alexa that Julian was coming tonight and had asked her for some privacy. She already had plans to go out anyway so it worked out easily.
I half smiled at her. "No, it's okay. You go out with your friends. I-" I sighed. "I need to do this myself."
"Okay," she sighed. "Do you really need to make him dinner though? I'm pretty sure his appetite is going to be gone after you tell him."
I looked at Alexa. "Well, I want to do something nice. And I didn't really want to just dive in right away..."
"Does Damian know that you're seeing Julian tonight?"
"Of course not. Why would I tell him? It would just make him worry for nothing. No. I'm just going to have this dinner and have the talk and then everything will be over."
Alexa shrugged. "If you say so..."
She helped me put away the groceries then she went to get ready while I began to make dinner. I was making pasta Alfredo with shrimp. I've cooked this for Julian and he really liked it. I also baked some garlic bread and chilled a bottle of wine. I knew I was going to need it.
It was around six when I finally had everything ready and I headed to my room to take a shower. I put on a blue dress that went down to my knees with black heels and blow-dry my hair. I applied some mascara and some red lipstick. Then I went back downstairs to set the table.
"I'm heading out," Alexa said as she walked down the stairs moments later.
"Okay. The keys are by the door. Be careful."
"Good luck!" She said as she walked out the door.
I stood in the middle of the living room and took a deep breath. This was it. Julian would be here any moment. I had played the conversation in my head about a million times by now and I was ready to get it over with but when the doorbell finally rang, my heart still skipped a beat.
My heels echoed as I walked down the hall to open the door.
"Okay." I whispered before I unlocked the door then pulled it open.
Julian was standing on the other side wearing a big smile on his face. Julian was a very handsome man. He had short black hair with two big hazel eyes. He had one of those smiles that made you want to smile back even if you were mad or even if you were about to break up with him. He was wearing dark jeans with a red plaid shirt and black shoes.
"Rebecca," he said as he reached out to hug me. "It's so good to finally see you." He kissed my cheek then pulled away.
I smiled at him. "It's so good to see you too. Come in."
He took a step into the house then turned around. "These are for you," he said handing me a dozen red roses.
"Oh, Julian, you shouldn't have, thank you." I said as I took them. "Come. Dinner's ready."
I made my way to the kitchen. The dining table was set with silverware and I took out an empty glass vase to put the roses in with water. "Sit down, please, I'll serve dinner."
"So how was California?" He asked as I served us dinner. I was grateful for the distraction in keeping my hands busy.
"Good. It was fun. Alexa finally got to go to Disneyland. You know how bad she wanted to go."
Julian chuckled. "Oh yeah. I'm glad she finally got to go. I hope it was everything she ever wanted."
"Minus the accident, yes,"
"Right, how is she? Did she break her arm?"
"No, just a fracture. She had to get a cast but she'll be fine," I said as I headed to the table with our plates.
"Looks delicious," Julian said. He reached for my hand after I sat down in front of him. I looked at him in wonder. "I really did miss you, Rebecca," he said looking into my eyes.
I looked down. I thought we could have dinner before I told him but I realized there that that wasn't going to happen. I wasn't going to be able to sit through dinner and pretend that everything was fine and then drop the bomb at the end. It wasn't fair for neither of us. I pulled my hand gently. "Julian...there's something we need to talk about."
"What is it?" He asked looking at me, as if trying to read my mind. I wished he could.
I looked at him. "Did you tell Bonnie that you were already thinking about proposing?"
I knew he would be able to tell that I didn't like that by the tone of my voice but I didn't make myself say it another way. I was really bothered that he had done that.
He chuckled nervously. "Oh, that. It was just a silly conversation. I know we're barely getting to know each other. Don't worry, I don't have a ring hidden on me right now." He joked but I didn't laugh.
"Julian-" I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
"Rebecca, you don't have to worry about that. I shouldn't have made that comment. Though I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it. Right now it may be too soon but later, when the time is right, I would like to get married..." he let the sentence hang between us.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered looking down at my lap.
He reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Is there something wrong?"
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as I looked into his eyes and I gulped. "I haven't been completely honest with you, Julian, there's something about me that you don't know-I'm just sorry I have led you on."
"Rebecca, it's okay. You haven't led me on. I know we are casual right now," he said gently but there was a frown in between his eyes.
"I had a life in California before coming here." I began.
"Yes, I know you went to school there," he said reaching for the glass of wine. Mirroring him, I also took a sip of the wine God knew I needed it.
"Yes." I hesitate as I twisted the glass of wine around on the table.
"Just say whatever you need to say," Julian said. His tone wasn't rude but I could tell that he was getting impatient.
"I didn't just go to school," I said looking at him. "I-I also got married."
Julian nodded slowly. "Okay..."
"I still am." I told him. "I'm married."
He frowned. "I don't understand. So you never got a divorce?"
"No," I said. "I left my husband three years ago when my mother passed away. I-ran away. From him."
Saying it aloud made me realize how childish my behavior had been. There were times when I thought about everything I went through with Damian's mom that convinced me that I made the right choice by running away. And then there were the days like tonight when I said it aloud to someone who didn't know the reason behind it. I wasn't sure that I wanted to go into detail with Julian. I didn't think it was necessary. Deep down, I thought he wouldn't care anyway after I told him that I was getting back together with Damian.
"You ran away from your husband?"
I nodded. "I did, yes."
He raised his brown eyebrows as he looked at me with concern. "It must have been hell living with him. What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?"
I could tell he really was concerned for me which made me feel even more guilty. I needed to get to the point quickly.
Before I could answer his question though, the doorbell rang. I frowned as I turned to look at the front door as if I could see through it. "I'm sorry," I said as I stood up. "I'm not expecting anyone. Will you give me a second?"
"Of course," Julian said.
I walked across the dining room just as the doorbell rang again. As I reached out for the doorknob, I had a gut feeling that I knew who it was but I still pulled it open and my stomach dropped.
Standing outside was Damian wearing a gray suit with a white dressed shirt underneath. He was holding a bouquet of colorful flowers with one hand and a small gift bag with his other.
"Hey," he said with a goofy grin on his handsome face like a little boy doing a mischief.
"Damian-" I breathed. "What are you doing here?" I said pulling the front door closed as I stepped outside.
"I wanted to surprise you," he said then frowned as he studied my face. "Is it not a good time?"
"I'm sorry," I said feeling bad for killing his surprise. I wished I had been alone in the house, missing him. It would have been the best surprise to open the door and see him here if that were the case but it wasn't. It was bad timing. "I was actually-"
Just then, the front door opened and Julian appeared at the doorway behind me. "Rebecca?"
I noticed the way Damian's shoulders tensed at the sight of him, as if he knew who he was. I didn't know what to say for a second. I was happy to see Damian but at the same time, I wanted to finish my conversation with Julian who thought that Damian was-
"Is this him?" Julian asked pointing at Damian. "Is he bothering you?"
"Who the hell do you think you are, pal?" Damian demanded, glaring at him.
Julian took a step forward, getting in between Damian and I. "I'm here to protect Rebecca from you."
"Julian-please-" I chocked out nervously.
Damian huffed. "I don't know who you think you are but I would get out of the way if I were you."
"Or what?"
Everything happened so quickly then. Damian took a step forward. In response, Julian pushed him away. Over Julian's shoulder, I watched as Damian glared at Julian and then he threw the flowers on the ground before throwing his fist right across Julian's jaw.