don't leave me.
shut your mind up and
let your heart hear me.
THE unspoken relationship between you and Ximen was something that worried you.
You shared kisses and declared your feelings for each other only a few times but nothing was indicated that you were his and he, yours.
You dreaded the day when Ximen reunited with Xiao Geng. His first love, right at arms' reach. It was as if you weren't already riddled with anxious thoughts.
Your heart wrenched at the thought. You couldn't take it. You didn't want to.
You stuck by his side, letting him know that you were still there. You gave him all the affection, anything to keep him. Anything.
"Ximen, I love you."
"I love you too."
For a short period of time, you felt at ease.
Then they started going out. Catching up, Ximen had said. He had missed their friendship and that you didn't have anything to worry about.
You had everything to worry about.
"Ximen, I love you so much."
"I know."
You couldn't accept that. You were willing to change, you were willing to do whatever it took for this man to stay. God forbid you being with someone who loved you just as much. It seemed like it.
One night, like any other, you found him sitting on the same bed as you are. He was facing you, his head down. You couldn't believe the words you were hearing. He wanted to leave.
"But, I love you." You whispered.
It was the night you finally understood why people feared silence.
You swallowed the air of uncertainty.
It was at that moment when you told him you loved him for the thousandth time, in which he usually returned.
But that night, he said nothing. He stared straight at you and he sighed.
You were met with silence.
The tears in your eyes felt like fire, it stinged you as it threatened to escape. As it rolled down your cheeks, you thanked god you were sitting down as your legs had lost its strength; you were shaking.
as you were returned with silence, the weight on your chest shifted, it coursed through your whole body.
It was when you knew you've said those three words to him a thousand times, he had made the decision never to say it back again,
at least not to you,
at least not anymore.
No words have ever hurt you more,
than when he chose to say nothing.
fin.
a/n; july 2020.
how are you all? hope you're doing well despite the world seemingly getting worse day by day.
stay safe.