"The Return of the Pickles"
In the Beacon Academy kitchen, Claire is seen struggling to open her newly-bought jar of pickles.
Claire: Urgh! Stupid, tight-lidded jar! Release my nutritious Dill pickles!
Sun strolls over confidently.
Sun: Need some help?
Claire: Okay, let's see you manhandle it, Mr. Abs. And make it quick, I'm starving.
Claire then tosses the jar to Sun.
Sun: Oh, I'll show you what manhandling is all about.
Sun twists the lid and struggles for a few moments, but is unsuccessful in opening the jar.
Sun: They sure make the lids tight on these plastic jars.
Claire: Why do they always keep them on too tight anyways...
Sun: Why don't we ask Yang for help?
Claire: No! You never, ever, ask Yang for help with jars!
Sun: Why not?
As if on cue, Yang comes bounding in the kitchen.
Yang: My bestfriend sense is tingling! What's that? A jar of pickles?!
There was a brief moment silence before Claire hides the jar behind her back, and waves Yang off.
Claire: Uh, No! who said anything about pickles? I don't want any pickles.
Sun: But you said you were starving!
Claire: You just hand to open your mouth.....
Yang: I knew it!
She suddenly grabs the jar of pickles from Claire's hands, who slowly backs away.
Yang: You dare to make my bestfriend hungry?!
Claire dives out of the way and tackles Sun clear of Yang.
Yang: You're going down, jar!
Plates, bowls, potted plants and even Zwei go flying around the kitchen, as a roaring, rumbling sound is heard.
Yang: Face... my... fury!
A loud gunshot from Yang's shotgun gauntlet is heard, and the lid of the jar comes rolling over, settling in front of Claire and a very stunned Sun.
Yang: Here you go, bestie! All you had to do was ask.
Claire: Right... Uh, thanks. Now can I have my jar?
Yang: Sure, just let me grab one.
Yang sticks her hand in the jar to grab a pickle, but thanks to her gauntlet, her hand gets stuck inside.
Yang: Oh, you just don't know when to quit, do you?
Sun runs away while screaming as Yang grins and brandishes her fist at the jar.
Claire: Oh no, you don't, Blondie!
Claire tackles her down, causing her shot to miss the jar and ricochet off in different parts of the kitchen.
"Fish or Fear"
You, your girlfriend Blake, and Neptune went out fishing on a nearby river in Emerald Forest. But when you were about to hand Neptune his own fishing rod, you see him quivering in fear at the sight of the river's clear waters. You just rolled your eyes, pressed the fishing rod into his hands, and went to catching fish.
After a while, you already had a bucket full of different fishes. Blake also managed to catch a lot, but she eats every single one that she catches. Neptune, on the other hand, is still shaking in fear of the water.
Neptune: (Y/N), please. Can I go back already?
You: I would have let you already go if you managed to catch a least a couple of fish, Neptune. Look, if you try and overcome your hydrophobia, and managed to catch a fish, it's like hitting two birds with one stone. So until then, your not going back until you at least caught a few fish.
Neptune grumbles to himself, before he mutters:
Neptune: Fine.....
It went on for while, before Neptune finally feels a bite on his fishing rod.
Neptune: Hey! I got a bite! I got a bite!
You: Then reel it in for freak's sake!
Unfortunately, not only is he unsuccessful in reeling it in, he is dragged into the water himself and cries for help. You just stared wide-eyed at what just happened before you planted your face on your palm.
You: Unbelievable......
You were just about to help Neptune when you notice your beloved Faunus girlfriend eating the fish you caught. Blake, holding the fish in her mouth, looks at you nervously. You just sighed out loud and allowed her to have that one fish you so patiently caught. Blake smiles at you happily and before she literally sucks up all the meat from the bone.
You just shook your head in amusement, but you then notice that the bucket you used to store the fish is now completely empty. You even tipped it upside down to make sure you weren't hallucinating.
You: Dag nabbing cheese--- Ugh, I'm not gonna even say it. BLAKE!!!
Angry with Blake for eating all of your fish, you tossed her into water, much to her chagrin.
You: Now I know, how Ren feels.....
-----Timeskip-----
You finally managed to get Neptune back on the boat, but is now completely paralyzed in fear.
You: Look Neptune, I know it was rough being dragged by a large fish, buit you really have to continue fishing.
You holding out his fishing rod at him when it suddenly starts to rain, before it heavily pours down. Exposed to the wet weather, Neptune literally faints. Blake shivers as she covers her shoulders from the cold. You angrily cursed underneath your breath as you rowed the others back to land.
You: Great. We're all wet and cold in a dangerous forest, Neptune caught absolutely nothing, Blake ate all our fish, so we're all going back empty-handed. Can this day get anymore worse?
As if on cue, you hear a loud howling followed by low growling. You turned towards the sound and saw a couple of Beowolves gathering on the small port you were to land in.
You: I just had to open my freaking mouth......
"Cake Butler"
In the Beacon Academy kitchen, Ruby cheerfully puts a cake into the oven and brushes her hands in satisfaction. Weiss pops out from behind Ruby and leans over to her.
Weiss: What are you doing?
Ruby: Just makin' a cake.
Weiss: Yourself? That's ridiculous. Why don't you just have your cake butler bring you one?
Ruby thinks for a moment as to what her partner is talking about.
Ruby: Cake butler...?
Weiss: Uhh, yes? That butler in charge of cakes? Of all the butlers, I like him the best.
A thought bubble appears by Weiss' head. Inside, the cake butler dutifully produces a pink cake topped with a cherry.
Weiss: You do have one, don't you? We had four back at Atlas. Even Sky had one.
Tealle: Right. So, I'll just go and have a small talk with the others.
Ruby: Can you just watch my cake for a minute? I'll be right back.
With that, Tealle and Ruby walk out of the kitchen, leaving Weiss with looking after the cake.
Weiss: I don't really do the whole cooking thing? Actually, I don't spend much time in the... "food room"...? at all.
Ruby then dashes back to Weiss.
Ruby: It's called a kitchen, Weiss. Just watch the oven.
Weiss looks at Ruby's cake as it bakes.
Weiss: Alright, oven. Don't start any trouble and there won't be any trouble. Hmm, I wonder what all these buttons do.
-----5 MINUTES LATER-----
Ruby and Tealle walk in to find the kitchen drapes on fire and thick black smoke emanating from the oven, while Weiss runs around helplessly in circles, alarms blaring out loudly.
Ruby: Ah!
Tealle: What in the----
Weiss: Run away! Run away from the fire!
Ruby quickly uses a fire extinguisher, while Tealle uses your borrowed Semblance to put out all the fires.
Ruby: We were only gone for five minutes! What happened!?
Weiss: Since when are drapes flammable?
Tealle: Since always, Weiss! Drapes have always been flammable! And how did the drapes get caught on fire, anyway!?
Ruby: The cake!
Tealle gasps as they walk over to the oven and see that their cake has been burned beyond recognition. Ruby reverently places a sheet on top of it, wiping a tear off her eye.
Ruby: Goodbye, our delicious friend.
Tealle You never had a chance.
Weiss: I warned you, you two. This really is your fault, if you think about it.
Ruby: At least help us clean up this mess!
Weiss: Exactly what do you mean by "clean up"?
Ruby seethes with anger, then douses Weiss down with a spray from the fire extinguisher.
Weiss: Aaah!
Tealle: Why don't you ask your cake butler, princess.
Tealle and Ruby walk away from the incapacitated girl, throwing the fire extinguisher back at Weiss, nailing her in the head.
-----Timeskip-----
Just outside of Beacon Academy, a couple of students and teachers are seen holding some kind of event. You and Sky were talking on your way to the event, wearing black formal suits
You: I'm curious about this event. What do you think its about?
Sky: All I know is that Ruby and Tealle requested something from Professor Ozpin.
You: That's..... strange. I wonder what's with this get up, anyway. But whatever it is, I hope it's worth cancelling my daily sparring.
When you reached the place, you were confused as to why there was a casket in front. You both decided to take seats beside the other teams you were familiar with. After a while, you see Tealle and Ruby on their own sets of black dress as well as short black veils. They were standing on each end of the casket as Professor Ozpin steps up on a podium.
Ozpin: Students, teachers, we gather here today to honour and pay tribute to the life of Ruby and Tealle's cake, and to express our love and admiration for it.
You: Uh..... what did we get ourselves into?