RYLIN'S POV
we get into grayson's car, me in the back, and start driving to the movie theaters. i can't ignore the pit of guilt i feel in my stomach about leaving ethan, though.
amy and grayson talk the entire drive there but i just tune them out and stare blankly out the car window. as much as i'm trying to not think about the shitty stuff that's happened, it's all i do.
"ry, what movie do you wanna see? there's that new horror movie the nun, or maybe a comedy?"
i shrug. "it doesn't matter to me. whatever you guys wanna see."
her eyes linger on me for a second, then she just sighs and turns around. "let's see the scary movie."
grayson's eyes dart to me through the rearview mirror, concern pooling in them before they look back to the road. "are you sure you're okay?" he asks me.
i shrug. "yeah, i'm fine."
he nods skeptically. "you just seem like you don't want to be here."
in all honesty, i don't. amy practically dragged me out. but like she said, this will be good for me. as sad as what happened is, i'm still young. i can't let my life keep revolving around my grief. the sooner i put it behind me, the better.
i look down at my jeans, pulling at a thread to keep myself occupied. i'm about to answer him, but he speaks before i can.
"ry, i can turn around and take you ho-"
amy hits his arm, cutting him off. he winces, "what the hell was that for?"
"stop prying. we're supposed to be having fun, not making her want to go home."
"i was just giving her the option," he defends himself.
"if she wanted to go home, she'd tell us."
"guys, stop. i don't want to go home. let's just have a good time."
the last thing i need right now is for amy and grayson to be arguing. there's been so much negativity around me lately and it's making me feel so suffocated.
"sorry," grayson mutters over his shoulder, sort of to both me and amy. i can tell grayson hates arguing with amy. he glances at amy and i notice him reach his hand over the console, palm facing up.
but she doesn't take it.
-
when we get there, it's packed. it's the opening weekend for a ton of new movies, the nun being one of them. we weave our way through the crowd to find the line for tickets and that's when i hear some guy calling amy and grayson's names.
"amy! gray!" his voice barely surpasses all the chatter, but we hear him.
i follow them, trying not to get too annoyed by how many people bump my shoulder or hit me with their arm because they're not paying attention.
when we find them, grayson does some bro handshake with the guy and amy hugs the girl. i stand awkwardly to the side as they all greet each other.
they start talking and catching up, leaving me to feel like some kind of fifth wheel. i tap amy's shoulder and she widens her eyes at me as if to say sorry for forgetting about you.
"rylin, this is jade," she points to the girl with dark, straight hair and silverish eyes. jade smiles at me warmly, and i immediately get a good vibe from her.
"hi," i give her a small wave. then amy points to the guy standing next to her with dirty blonde, almost light hazel brown hair.
"and this is austin." his blue eyes meet mine, and he smiles at me.
"hey," he tells me, and i notice how charismatic he seems just from his stance and expressions.
before i can greet him back, jade's phone dings from her jacket pocket. austin lazily drapes his arm over her shoulder, peeking over her shoulder at her phone.
i look down at the ground, feeling like i'm definitely a fifth wheel on this double date.
jade replies to what i assume is a text while grayson gets our attention. "they're about to start seating for the movie, we should get in line already."
"oh, we already bought the tickets. amy texted us which movie so we got them since we were already here."
grayson nods. "cool. let's go find seats then."
jade looks up from her phone. "actually, we invited one more person but they're running late. can we wait one more minute?"
he nods but i can tell he's a little bothered. i am, too. i don't want to get sucky seats.
i feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket and grab it, and it's a snapchat notification from ethan.
just seeing his name on the screen immediately makes me feel so much lighter.
i click and open the video, and i see him lying on the couch with luna sleeping against his side. even through all the noise, i can faintly hear luna's crazy loud snoring. i feel myself smiling from how funny it is.
ethan always jokes that she gets it from me, which is technically not possible, but i do snore pretty loudly.
ethan's face is red from laughing silently in the video, and i admire how precious his smile is through the screen.
"who's that?"
i jump, instinctively turning my phone off and turning to look at the source of the voice. it's austin.
"huh?"
he grins. "the person you were just blushing at."
i furrow my eyebrows at him. "why were you looking over my shoulder?"
"woah, sorry. i was just curious. if it's that big a problem, you don't have to tell me."
i sigh, realizing i am acting a little weird about this. "no, i'm sorry... that was just my boyfriend."
"oh. how come he didn't show up tonight?"
"um, he just wasn't up for it."
i don't know him well enough to be telling him about luna. he simply nods, and before he can say anything else, jade comes to his side.
"so you're amy's ride or die, huh?" she smiles at me, her eyes bright.
"i guess so," i reply.
"it's so great to finally meet you! amy talks about you all the time."
"good things, i hope?"
she laughs. "of course."
austin chimes in now. "so you go to NYU?"
i nod. "yeah, this'll be my sophomore year."
"man, it's so weird that we went an entire year going to the same school and none of us met until over the summer."
"it is a big school," i say plainly.
"hey, sorry i'm late!" a voice pulls my attention away from austin, and i freeze instantly.
the realization hits me like a wall of bricks, and i turn my head, already knowing exactly who that voice belongs to.
emma comes strolling through the crowd, bitchy as ever.
austin and jade smile as they walk towards her and they all hug. it seems like they're really close friends.
i walk over to amy and grayson. "what the hell, guys?"
amy crosses her arms. "i swear i didn't know about this."
"you hung out with them all summer. they never mentioned being friends with her?"
"no! and believe me, i'm pissed they invited her, too."
my shoulders slump as i turn around, feeling the anger in my chest as i remember the last time i saw her: half naked under ethan.
flashes of that night come rushing back into my head, and i can feel my blood boiling from how angry i was that night. finding ethan cheating on me, and with her of all people.
she just keeps showing back up in my life. like a damn mosquito.
as much as i try keeping my head down, it's no use. emma sees me. "rylin?"
i tense up and just stare at her, and austin and jade glance between us confused.
"you guys know each other?" austin asks us.
grayson answers. "actually, we all do."
the six of us stand around, staring awkwardly at each other for a few seconds. i notice emma's glare is set on me.
jade breaks the silence. "that's great! we can skip the introductions. let's go inside."
i start following them, but then change my mind. i don't need to go through this hell. i stop walking.
"actually, i'm just gonna go home."
amy frowns. "no, rylin come on, this is going to be such a great movie!"
"yeah," grayson says, grabbing my shoulder gently. austin and jade nod in agreement.
"i just don't feel like it anymore, okay?"
emma scoffs. "stop babying her and let her go. this is what she does. it's either rylin's way or no way."
i narrow my eyes at her. "what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"i just mean, your entitled little ass can't be bothered to think of anyone else for a change."
i stare at her in shock. grayson comes to my side, mumbling "just ignore her" near my ear. but i don't listen.
"i'm the entitled one? you're the one who tried sleeping with my boyfriend while you very well knew he was in a relationship."
"honey, it's a two person job. what happened wasn't just my fault."
"he was drunk and you took advantage of him."
she smirks at me. "he knew what he was doing. the only reason it didn't happen is because you walked in and you know that."
my skin feels like it's on fire from wanting to strangle her. what angers me more is that she's right. i think about it all the time. the fact that he would've slept with her and been intimate with her if it weren't for me walking in.
the thought physically disgusts me.
austin speaks up now. "guys, maybe this isn't a good ide-"
"what are you even doing in new york?" i ask, narrowing my eyes in her direction. i moved here to get away from people like her.
the look she gives me only angers me more. she cocks an eyebrow and i resist the urge to smack that smug grin off her face.
"you haven't heard?" she asks me. i feel like i already know what she's about to say but i wait for the words to come out of her mouth.
"i'm going to NYU with you guys!"
- - -
okay, woooow it's been a while. hi babies!! :)
i'm sorry i've been so inactive on updating. but this is my senior year so i have a lot going on with classwork and college stuff. believe me, i'd much rather be laying in bed writing all day than doing homework and college essays.
but i am starting to feel so creatively stuck with this book. i have ideas for what i want to do, but getting chapters written has been so difficult.
and as much as i love and enjoy writing it, i've been writing this one for 4 months now and i feel like i want to start something else.
idk, i have a lot of thinking to do.
love you guys! please keep commenting and voting! it makes me so happy!!
- lexi