- Rosè
In my house...
Currently sitting here at the dinning with Chanyeol.
Despite of my swollen eyes, he's not asking me anything. He haven't spoke any words as well. But he kept on taking care of me, serving me foods, pouring water on my glass, letting me whatever I want.
"I will go after you eat these."
Pointing at my plate, he stated with a smile on his lips.
I nodded.
Then, his words from earlier popped out...
"Whatever it is, I'm sure he is involve. Continue crying, but please, I can't help you if you're not willing to be helped on moving on. You keep on remembering it, how can you get over with something you'll remember everyday like it's a hobby when you're bored and doing nothing. Stop thinking, let go of the pain, Chayeoung."
I am still not totally willing to get over from the past...
I hate remembering it but how can I blame myself? I love Jungkook. And because of that, I still can't fix myself, I can't even pick up the broken pieces, the powdered pieces of my heart. How will I be able to?
There's no way if I'm not going to be with the man I love. It's honestly just him who can help me get out of this pain, agony, sorrow.
"Only him."
Minutes had passed...
Probably ten, and I finished eating.
He took care of the dishes, washed it with his own, without asking any permission. But I watched him, I just watched him, because my soul is too tired that I can't even stand from this chair where I am seating on.
"I'll go now."
He informed while wearing his coat.
"Sleep tight, don't sleep late. Take a rest, dom't stress yourself."
Not mentioning anything from what he had said earlier, he stated.
I nodded and he waved at me before walking out of the door.
As I heard the door shut close...
My eyes shut at the same time, my lips let out a tiny sigh.
"Done...
It's all by yourself now.
Everything depends on you now."
I bit my lips for a second before getting off from the chair.
I
made my way up to my room.
Once I have entered, I threw my phone on my bed.
Undressed myself, threw the clothes on the hamper, got a towel and a bath robe from my cabinet.
And stepped to my bathroom.
Without any thinking...
I turned the water of the bathtub on, warm water...
While pouring the tub, I showered with warm rain like drops.
Shampooed my hair...
Clean my whole body, wash my face, and brush my teeth after.
I met my own eyes at the mirror...
And I was halted for a moment...
Seeing how damnified I am, makes me realize...
"You're messed up."
But even though, after realizing it, it doesm't bother me.
I continued and washed my whole body before going to the tub to relax myself there.
For fifteen mimutes...
I lied under the water, with my head leaning on the support, my legs are relaxed, back is leaning properly on the tub. Warm water soaking my whole body.
"I'll clean you up."
My eyes widen at his words.
"What?"
He chuckled.
The first day we have this house...
The first day we lived in this house...
When there's nothing happening between us yet...
He likes teasing me, he finds it cute when I am shock.
"Just kidding. Clean up now, I'll cook downstairs."
He cupped my face, pecked a kiss on my forehead, and one more on my lips.
His sweetness never fades...
His chivalry never gets old...
His touch never gets unpleasant...
His embrace never gets cold...
His smile never gets dimmed...
Everything on him are all consistent and enough or even too much for me.
He is everything...
"My everything..."
"Oh gosh..."
I bit my nails in nervousness.
That was the time that I forgot to bring my clothes together with me...
And I am fully naked...
Not even a single towel is with me.
"Jungkook?"
I called...
Though there's a hesitation...
I still did, it's better than not trying then he'll just enter without knowing that I am naked.
"Mm? Need help?"
He heard me and immediately went up.
"I-ahh...how do I say this...umm..."
I heard him chuckling from outside.
"Open the door."
I was startled when he commanded that...
"W-Why?"
I asked with my voice cracking a little.
And he chuckled again.
"You called me for your towel, bathrobe and clothes, didn't you? Here is it. Open the door, baby, I won't try to snatch a look."
He stated and a part of me felt relieved.
I, slowly, opened the door.
"Thank you."
And took the things he's handing me.
I immediately closed the door...
And rushed to dress myself with the feeling of huge embarrassment.
"So stupid, Park Chaeyoung."
I mouthed to myself and I heard him answering...
"You're not stupid, you're so cute!"
Another memory...
Why do I keep on remembering things?
I'm not the one who had lost my memories but...
I opened my eyes and shrug the thought off...
I looked at the ceiling for few more minutes before deciding to go off from the tub.
I dried my hair with the towel.
Wore my bathrobe...and slowly went out.
My eyes scanned the room...
The room where we usually go and cuddle with each other...
The bed where he will lay me down and brush my hair for me to sleep before hi..
The carpeted floor where we usually sits whenever he wants to play video games.
Memories...
"I keep seeing the memories that are already left in oblivion."
I walked out of my room without bothering myself to get dress. No one will go in anyway, I'm alone.
I walked downstairs...
I didn't get to notice until now, it's raining really hard.
There are thunders and lightnings...
I used to be afraid of it, but I'm now used to be alone.
I'm used on not showing my emotions, even if I'm afraid, so much afraid.
I went to the kitchen.
And as I reached the refrigirator, I opened it and took a pitcher of cold water, poured a glass and drank...
I am still at the half of the glass...
But I was stopped in surprise...
When I faced the opposite direction to purposely lean on the counter of the sink...
A person is standing, right in the living room...
I almost dropped the glass...
The lightning from outside lit the whole living room a little, but it doesn't help at all. I wasn't able to see the person.
The person started walking slowly...
The lightning continued giving out small lights...
And slowly, seconds by seconds, steps by steps, I am getting more afraid.
This time...
No one is going to help me.
If something will happen, it all depends on me.
"It all depends on me...
Just by myself."