Author's Note: I'm updating early, as I won't be able to update on Wednesday.
Song for this Chapter: Dru's song ---Bad Day by Daniel Powter
Sean's song--Unfinished Business by Mumford & Sons
Dru waited until the last possible minute to enter her sociology class, and crept to the back row, but she didn't manage to escape the professor's notice.
"Ms. Scott, so glad you could join us," Dr. Grier drawled, and for the first time Dru wished she went to a giant anonymous university with lecture halls and TA's who didn't give a shit if the underclassmen skipped an entire week of lecture, instead of this small college where professors knew their students by name.
She tried to look appropriately contrite. It wasn't hard to do, with her gaze focused on Sean's back. He did not, as some of the other students, turn around to look at her, but his shoulder's tensed and then relaxed. The professor's displeasure was confined to the one line of sarcasm and then he began to lecture, and Dru's return was forgotten by everyone.
Except Sean.
Dru was surprised when his text flashed on her phone.
No need to avoid in class. Or around Lana.
She bit her lip. She'd played out hundreds of scenarios of how this might go, laying awake last night with Hearne's heavy limbs draped across her. Would Sean yell at her or spew cold venom? Would he call her out in public—call her a slut? Had he already told his dormmates about finding her in the woods with Hearne? Would she get looks and snears as she walked out of her first class back?
She doubted it.
Sean would probably behave the absolute best he could, under the circumstances. That's the kind of guy he was. And she had planned her response. She would remain cool, detached. She would have to be cruel to be kind, because if she opened the door to his smile, to his understanding, then this would start all over again.
So, she didn't answer the text. For all of about ten minutes.
Finally, she could stand it no longer. He was trying to make peace, and she couldn't stonewall him. In fact, she couldn't think of anything else but responding to him.
I'm really sorry, Sean.
His response was immediate.
I know.
Her fingers flew.
Can we meet for coffee? I want to explain.
She saw his shoulder's tense, as he read the text. He shook his head slightly, and Dru's insides plunged. After a couple of minutes, Sean picked up the phone, and typed a quick response.
One on one is not a good idea. No explanation required. You already told me—you make bad decisions.
It shouldn't have stung. Her eyes shouldn't have swarmed with tears. He was absolutely right. She had gone from his arms, to being on her knees in front of Hearne in a matter of two hours. After she had promised specifically not to do that very thing.
She hadn't trusted how right it felt, to be close to Sean. She had heard uncertainty and caution in his words after she cracked the wall in her dorm—and who wouldn't have been freaked out by that?—but instead of regrouping, instead of being brave, instead of having faith that something could be good between them, she had done what she always did—she let her fear run her and sought the easy way out.
All she had wanted was a quick miserable end to her and Sean that night in the woods, a way to force herself to break up with him. If she'd had sex with Hearne, she would ended things with Sean the next day, it would have been over before it begun. All she wanted was to use Hearne to waste her power, and to prove to herself that she had been right all along—she couldn't be trusted.
But god, she didn't want Sean to have to see it. She couldn't get over the look of pain and betrayal in his face. Sean was in her every thought, but she knew more than ever she had to let him go. If she went back to the no-dating policy, she'd spend her life pining for him.
Who was it that said the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else? That's what she was doing with Hearne, wasn't it? God, was she a completely horrible person for considering Hearne a rebound screw?
Except apparently, he didn't just want a quick screw. He'd spent a week caring for her, showing patience for her drinking and tears, comforting her, and now he wouldn't even touch her when she offered, last night. It was almost like Hearne knew, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to have sex with him.
So why had she offered? Because he'd been kind? Because she thought she should? Because it would be easier to have sex with Hearne than not have it with Sean? And what about Hearne? Clearly, in the beginning, Hearne had wanted to sleep with her. She'd seen enough lust in guys' eyes to know that for sure. What had changed? Did he not want her now, or did he want something more? Was she leading him on now?
No, Hearne was no innocent. Hearne was dangerous, wasn't he? His scars— his very presence—demonstrated his nature. Except he didn't seem dangerous when he held her at night. Or at least, it seemed like she was within the perimeter of his aggression.
But it wasn't like being within Sean's perimeter. Even being inside a feeling of protection with Hearne wasn't like being inside Sean's walls. Hearne was impenetrable—a fortress unto himself. She remembered the honesty, the intimacy in Sean's voice and the way he just seemed to know her, know how to touch her without reservation, how he effortlessly called to something inside her...she'd never felt that close to another person.
She'd completely fucked that up. She looked at Sean's last text again.
One on one is not a good idea. No explanation required. You already told me—you make bad decisions.
No shit.
*******************************
Despite what he'd said about not avoiding each other, Sean saw the unhappy expression on Dru's face at the end of class, and he didn't think she wanted an eye-to-eye, so he took his time to leave, letting Dru make a quicker exit.
But leave it to Lana to stomp all over his attempts at graciousness. Lana had tackled Dru in the quad and was hugging her, swaying her violently from side-to-side. Sean was giving them a wide berth, but he couldn't help but overhear Lana's over-excited greeting.
"Girl, I missed your face!" Lana was squealing. "I'm so glad you're back on campus! You are coming back to the dorm, right?"
Sean stopped. Back on campus? Where had she been all week? Sean just assumed she was not coming to the classes they shared, and avoiding any of the normal times the three of them would be together. Before he even realized it, he was veering toward the two girls.
Lana saw him approaching, and her eyes narrowed. She tucked her arm tightly into Dru's—a show of solidarity, and a way to prevent Dru from slipping away. "Great, the gang's back together again. Y'all kiss and make-up...I hate drama unless it's my own."
Dru looked like a deer in the headlights. Her mascara was a little...fuzzy, like she'd blinked back tears, but there were no tears now, just a wide stare of apprehension. Did she really think he would cause a scene?
Hell. Actually, he thought he might.
"You left campus? Where did you go?"
"Sean—" Lana began, but Sean cut her off.
"I'm talking to Dru. I'm sure she can answer for herself."
Dru licked her lips and but she met his eye. "I was at Hearne's place."
"You stayed with him all week?"
"I stayed at his place, yes." The way she emphasized the words at his place, was that supposed to be some kind of inference that she wasn't with him? Because Sean had seen that braided bastard thisclose to banging her on her knees, and a picture was worth more than a thousand words.
"She's back now, Sean. Let's go to lunch." Lana's tone was nearly a growl, but he dismissed it. Her bark was much worse than her bite.
"I uhhh..." he began, backing away. No way could he sit with food in front of him and Dru across the table. Every time he looked at her, the image of Hearne and her flashed in his mind, and he felt nauseous.
"You guys go," Dru said, forcibly jerking her arm away from Lana. "I'll catch up with you later...ok, Lana?"
Dru moved swiftly past Sean. "Bye," she murmured.
"Bye," he responded automatically.
They watched her trudge into Greaves Hall, where most of the faculty offices were.
Lana smacked Sean on the arm. "What the fuck, Sean? She's going to his office! You just sent her running back to him."
Sean glared at Lana and turned toward the dining hall.
Lana never gave Sean a break, when she could give him a hard time. She strode forward on his right, matching his pace, scolding like a harpie in his ear.
"God, Sean, you are so...stubborn, prideful! Is this what you want? Really? To cold-shoulder Dru, and let Hearne keep offering sympathy?"
"It doesn't matter what I want, Alanna. She's already with him, end of story."
Suddenly the witch appeared at his left side, tucking her arm underneath his.
"What if she's not?" Carrie asked in a sing-song voice.
Sean stopped, clenching his hands to avoid smacking Carrie's arm away and shaking Lana. "You two drive me insane, you know that? Both of you follow Hearne around like little puppies, and yet here you are, plotting against him. If you are jealous that Hearne is with Dru, don't expect me to run your games for you."
Alanna punched him hard on the arm. "Sean Faraday, you are an idiot! In case you have forgotten, I am your..." he glared at her, and she glared back "biggest supporter. I just don't want to see your pride cause you to make a huge mistake."
"Alanna MacBane, mind you own goddamn business," Sean was trying to keep his register normal, but he was nearly yelling.
Carrie was staring between them, slightly bewildered by the intensity of their argument.
"Whoa...you guys fight almost as hot as me and Hearne!Is there maybe something to explore here?"
"No!" they both roared.
"All right, all right," Carrie giggled as she took Sean by the arm again. "Listen, Cutie...Lana really is on your side. Me, I was Team Sean from the beginning, but now I'm starting to think that maybe Hearne and Dru might not be such a bad thing..."
"The hell you say!" Sean retorted.
Carrie stuck one red-tipped finger in his face. "Well, why don't you do something about it, before they start sleeping together, hmmm?"
Sean sighed in exasperation. "I'm sure it's too late for that."
"It's not," Carrie assured him. "Hearne told me himself. The girl spent all week practically catatonic, drowning her sorrows in a bottle. Sorrows for you. And lucky for you, Hearne is way too full of himself to be a rebound lay."
Sean blinked, trying to decide how he felt about that. He figured he had interrupted the moment in the woods, but he also assumed within a week's time, Hearne had amended that interruption. Part of him wondered if what Carrie said was true. It shouldn't matter to him whether Dru was actually sleeping with Hearne or not, because she had certainly had the intent, just two hours after pledging "no Hearne"—assuring Sean she wouldn't turn to Hearne for help with her magical sex problem. But he would be lying to himself if he pretended there wasn't some hopeful part of him that wanted to believe what Carrie said was true.
"Are you sure?" he asked, he asked doubtfully.
"I'm positive. Hearne wouldn't lie to me."
"Don't you think you two are a little bit too close, for exes?" Lana asked, twirling the braid at the side of her face.
"We were together a long time," Carrie said defensively. "You can't just erase...history. Anyway, we are getting off track here, Alanna. The point is, Hearne is pretty damn irresistible in and out of bed. If Dru isn't sleeping with him, there's a big reason. A big six-foot-two hazel-eyed, adorable reason." She winked at Sean and reached for Sean's arm again. "Let's get you something to eat, Cutie. A man like you is always much more agreeable when he's well-fed."
Fifteen minutes later, Sean felt less inclined to strangle Carrie and Lana.
Huh. Hanger is real, he noted, as he polished off a chicken sandwich and crunched into an apple. He hadn't realized how hungry he was, beneath the sick feeling. He'd hardly eaten in a week. Every time he had pictured Dru with Hearne his stomach churned. Which was pretty much, twenty-four-seven.
The girls were bantering back and forth, suggesting possible strategies for him to make up with Dru...all ridiculous ideas.
"No way am I hoisting a boom box outside her window." It was an assured statement, not a mild protest.
Carrie cocked her head of copper curls. "Why not? It's a classic!"
"He's right," Lana was scrunching her nose critically. "He can't carry off the trench-coat. He's too..." Lana waved her hand vaguely at his frayed jeans and Keens, "outdoorsy casual."
He took another bite. "Look, I'm not even sure I want a second chance with Dru. I mean, I like her..." Lana rolled her eyes, and Carrie snorted.
"You love her," they said in unison.
"I like her," he repeated. And if I did love her, I sure as hell wouldn't admit it to you two witches, before I told her. "But she's got baggage. Serious baggage."
"Like you don't?" Lana challenged.
Sean took a vicious bite from the apple and chewed fiercely. Lana crossed her arms, waiting for his reply. Finally, he said. "It's different. My baggage is...stored properly. She doesn't know what she wants."
Carrie took the nearly eaten apple out of his hands, and replaced it with a chocolate frosted cupcake. "But you do, Cutie. You want her. You have to let her know you're still an option. Or she'll stay with Hearne by default."
Sean stared at the cupcake. "Did you put something in this?"
Carrie pouted. She gestured for it back. "You really are too smart for you own good, you know." To Lana she said, "Remind me to give you the recipe for this emboldening tincture. I call it Carpe Diem. Hearne hates the name; he hates all things Roman."
"But you don't," Lana stuck her tongue out at Carrie and they both giggled. Sean rolled his eyes and rose.
"Look, I appreciate your concern for my love-life ladies, but it's not a game."
"Oh honey," Carrie looked at him with pity. "I hope you don't mean that. You can't win if you don't play."