The wheels clanked loudly on the rocky path down the mountain and I drew my sword. I watched silently as Hidan clasped his hands together and muttered his words to Jashin-sama. Kakuzu was wringing his hands into awkward angles, almost like testing the malleability of his metal hearts. I patted Zetsu on the head one more time before jumping on top of one of the carriages in the line. I only allowed one shout to ring out before all that saw me was no longer alive. Or able to talk. Hidan dropped next to me with a thumbs up as Kakuzu jumped down as well, killing the ox pulling the carriage in the process. I rolled my eyes in irritation as the carriage stopped and shouts came from all the way at the end of the line. Stupid. I thought as I gave Kakuzu a hating stare. He returned it.
"It's all FOOD," Hidan shouted, also glaring hatefully at Kakuzu now. Kakuzu didn't look at him or explain why we were killing people to stop food from crossing a border. I looked down at the box Hidan has opened. It was a basket full of instant ramen. I opened another case. It was full of grass. Plain grass. I tore open two more. They were full of dangos, all packed neatly into rows and each looking identical to the other. A kunai decided to soar towards me then. I slightly adjusted my footing and the kunai flew by my ears and landed neatly onto Hidan's neck. I smirked as Hidan whirled around, his face reddening in irritation and anger.
"Shinobis." Kakuzu muttered to me and I nodded. Hidan didn't say anything for once, maybe he was too busy taking out the kunai neatly lodged into his flesh. I looked over at him to find him eating dangos. I smirked and smacked him on the head, making him choke and fall off the carriage. Hidan gave me a middle finger and ripped out the kunai.
"Find him," Kakuzu ordered me and I laughed coldly.
"I'm not a dog." I snapped, peering at Kakuzu as he furrowed his brows in annoyance.
"Can you find him?" Kakuzu asked again, trying with a nicer tone. To be honest, he sounded like he was trying to have an arm wrestle with a mountain lion while drinking tea.
"You're doubting my abilities?" I asked him back and he clenched his fists.
"Can you help find him... for me?" Kakuzu said again, making the help sound more like I'll-kill-you-if-you-don't.
"For you?" I asked again.
"Can you help me find him?" Kakuzu finally correctly and I nodded in satisfaction.
"Um... can you help me find him?" Izumi pressed on, an eager expression on her face.
I looked over at the dangos.
"Just do it!' Kakuzu shouted at me and I snapped out of it. I didn't even bother wasting chakra on my byakugans. It's clear where the kunai came from. I jumped into the forest behind me and heard the movement. There was only one shinobi there. I followed the leaping shadow deeper in the forest, continuing the game of hide and seek.
"You don't have to run away. We won't kill you." I shouted at the shadow and it paused, not turning around to look at me. I jumped up to behind the shinobi and noticed his well built (masculine) form. I reached out to pat him on the shoulders, and just as he turned, he disappeared with a poof.
"Stupid shadow clones," I muttered as I activated my byakugans. He was becoming quite annoying. I detected his chakra instantly. It was screaming at me to detect it. I haven't felt it for quite a while.
"How nostalgic," I muttered as I followed the shinobi again. He was heading back towards the carriages.
"Kakuzu," I called to Kakuzu as I connected my chakra to his, transmitting my message directly to inside his head. "There's only one shinobi nearing the carriages. Konohagakure. Take off your Akatsuki cloak and tell Hidan to go with Zetsu to the bottom of the mountain and wait for us there. I'm currently following the one. He's near the carriages. Quick." I ordered with my mind but no response came. Stupid Kakuzu.
"Why." He finally asked after a while and I groaned.
"Do as you're told you money loving egoistic undead f****** mud-head! If you don't... I know how you can die and you know very well I can rip all your hearts out!" I threatened (while screaming into the empty forest) and Kakuzu fell silent again.
"Whatever, brat." He said back and cut off the connection. I sighed in relief. Now hopefully Hidan listens to directions as well as Kakuzu does.
I boosted myself faster and soon gained upon shinobi. We were nearly at the carriages. I ran even faster until I was a few meters behind the shinobi. I reached out my hands and let out a line of lightning blast. The shinobi halted in his steps, trying to duck the attack, and looked behind him. I was already gone.
I landed beside Kakuzu who was still standing over the body of the dead ox. His Akatsuki cloak was thrown on top of the carriage carelessly. Hidan was nowhere to be seen. I took the cloak and ripped it to shreds. Kakuzu stared at me.
"I know that costs money. I'll explain to Leader, okay? You don't have to spend anymore dear money, you zombie!" I shouted at him before he could punch me. I tore off my Akatsuki cloak as well while Kakuzu stood there, glaring.
"There..." I sighed as both I and Kakuzu stood without our cloaks. "Now... here goes the worst plan ever." I muttered as I stretched out my hands towards Kakuzu's face.
*******
Kakashi stared at the two blood-covered serial killers standing over the body of the dead ox. One looked extremely young while the other extremely old.
"What did you do?" He asked the two and the shorter, almost girly, boy started laughing crazily.
"Can't you see. We killed them." The old man snapped, ending the conversation almost instantly. However, it was a wonder he could talk with his mouth sewed together. But serial killers were serial killers. They were always unpredictable.
Kakashi had only arrived back to Konoha from a diplomatic trip to the Hidden Sand when the Hokage told him to protect a merchant carrying foods to the Land of Grass. The Land of Grass was caught in a civil war and one of the sides contained a shinobi village that had tight bonds with Konoha. They were losing. This supply of foods was the last that would be sent to the region and the shinobi village needed it to survive. And here he was, facing two maniac serial killers wanting to take over the carriages.
"So, why don't you leave us to our job while you go on your way back to Konoha?" The younger boy said with a coo to his voice and Kakashi frowned. He didn't have time for this.
"Chidori!" He shouted as his hands erupted into thousands of lightning "birds".
"Get him." The old man ordered and the young boy tensed.
"I told you before... I AM NOT a dog." The young boy snapped and turned onto the old man.
"Just follow your orders." The old man said and gave a little smirk.
"Oh, really? When did I say I'd listen to you?? Why do I have to listen to your orders? Just a moment ago I thought you were my slave. You're just some stupid old man." The young boy snapped, his face stuffed into the old man's face. His words somehow reminded him of Yoru. She had said that to the Hokage the first day she arrived... she had changed a lot since then. Kakashi remembered and couldn't stop the slight uplift in his lips. But she hasn't been back for nearly a year. He thought and sighed. But why is he thinking of this in the middle of a battle? He couldn't understand. The thought just floated into his mind.
"HUH? What are you sighing about? Do you want to fight? I'm fine with fighting. I'll make sure your soul never dies and live in eternal misery. That fits you Kakashi. So arrogant all the time, what is wrong with you? YO, YO, YO. Is that all you know how to say???" The young boy now turned to him and Kakashi widened his eyes when the boy called his name. Was he that famous out of Konoha? How does the boy know about the way he speaks? Had they been waiting here especially for him?
"Do I know you?" Kakashi asked, stepping slightly closer to the two so he could observe them both more closely. They both had weird scents of chakra around them and especially the boy. He looked familiar.
"Get him... uh, Riku!" The boy yelled and pointed at him, looking up at the old man. Kakashi tensed up as the old man growled and launched himself at him.
"Chidori!" Kakashi shouted again, thrusting his hands forwards to meet the old man's straight up attack. But what met him wasn't the fist of the old man, it was an enormous fireball.
******
"I told you not to kill him!" I screamed at Kakuzu who was staring down at the tattered Kakashi.
"He's not dead is he?" Kakuzu said and landed another kick onto Kakashi.
"UUHHH STOP!" I shouted and shoved Kakuzu aside. I kneeled down beside Kakashi and looked at his chakra flow. It was slower than usual. I tried to lift him up from the ground but fell, face to the ground and half under Kakashi, when his heavyweight met my slightly lacking body stature (I am certainly not weaker than Kakashi's weight, don't assume it). Kakuzu humphed and lifted me up from under Kakashi I patted the dirt off me and gave Kakuzu a thankful grunt when he slung Kakashi onto his back.
"Don't get me wrong. I just want to wait for the bounty on this man to get higher before killing him. Also, I killed the target already, brat. You're slow." Kakuzu said after seeing my face and I laughed.
"Thanks," I muttered despite his insult as he walked away with Kakashi. I looked at the carriages carrying the foods. The shinobi village needs it to survive... I thought and sighed. I had read Kakashi's memories while he was unconscious and understood everything. But there's nothing I can do is there? They are losing because they're weak. If it was me, I'd never have lost, to begin with. But I still left most of the supplies on the mountain without destroying them. I only burnt the dangos.
"Did you get all of it?" Black Zetsu asked me as I reached the bottom of the mountain. I ignored him.
"You look pretty without the cloak covering your body," Hidan noted and he ended up eating dirt. I looked at Kakuzu who walked down the mountain after me and nodded slightly. Kakashi was no longer on his back.