It's like seeing for the first time, or smelling flowers for the first time in the beautiful spring. Hearing the water flow and laughter—the one full of joy.
It all felt like a dream, a never ending one.
Until his forest green hues opens, he realizes he still lives in that colorless world he calls home.
He wants to close his eyes forever and leave all problems and promises behind.
Izuku recalls the events played out last night. He doesn't want to remember, he wants to forget and disappear for eternity. If he only can erase himself from everyone's memory, he would have done it.
No questions asked.
It was almost like a trigger for him—seeing Y/n with Shouto. He feels so selfish and disgusting. It just reminded him of reality and the truth behind his little time of having fun.
It's not going to last...
Why would Y/n be friends with him if she has someone like Shouto? She must feel pity for the curly haired boy, that's all it can be.
He's only dead weight, holding her back. All the times her eyes blinked with determination when she talked about being a hero—just like he did before. He can't, he doesn't want to be reminded anymore of how worthless he is. He wants the girl to be happy, but she already has someone who can fulfill that void. Shouto is waiting for her, they are becoming heroes together. All he can do is watch. Why waist her time? Why waist everyone's time?
He wants to be forgotten rather than remembered of being so...useless.
Why couldn't the world make it a little easier to disappear?
As much as Izuku wants to, he still finds the motivation to get out of bed with tear stained eyes. "Looks like I cried again" He brings his hand to his face, "I'm such a crybaby" The boy mutters quietly.
Today, the world looks so bland and tasteless. Is it because it's raining again and the sun can't smile to him anymore?
With his sleeves pulled up, he eyes notices the freshly cut wounds. From last night. He's not proud, but one way it has to come out.
Izuku's grunts in pain when he starts putting on bandages, the cuts sting so badly. 'Stop it you idiot, it's your choice after all—deal with it'
He scolds himself for being so weak.
He starts remembering how fun it had been last week with Y/n and how she eased his pain. Unwillingly he gets flashbacks of her smile and all the times she's called him Broccoli. That nickname held so much compassion.
His teeth grit together, he wants to forget because now...it feels like he's letting her down as well. An inner war has presented itself inside him.
'Please stop...stop thinking like that! It's not going to last, she lives in a different world. Her family loves her, she has Shouto by her side and she's going to become a hero. She doesn't need you to ruin things for her, besides once this is over. She'll forget that you ever existed'
Izuku manages to put on a big smile. Some may say that it was the most painful smile anyone could muster, but to him it's good enough. At least to lie to his mother and tell her everything's okay.
Save her from the burden he causes by being alive.
"Oh gosh" Izuku falls down to his knees, whimpering out, "I want to die...I really want to do it this time"
He couldn't comprehend his feelings, it's starting to become unbearable to keep it all inside.
'Uhm—Are you alright?'
Y/n....she asked him that question. Why did he lie?
Whatever, it's not like it would have made a difference. Everyone's better off without him. Now Y/n wouldn't have to feel a burden like she should take care of him.
Oh and Kacchan...he has been rather quiet this week. Now he can finally be free from seeing the quirkless boy and get disgusted by him. Everyone is benefiting it seems—even himself. So the choice is not hard to make...at all. It hurts, it hurts that it's so easy. So easy to be gone forever, but so hard to stay and fight.
'That's right...Kacchan will be happy. I can finally make him happy, since all I've ever been doing is make him miserable'
Thick tears stream down, never had he been feeling so lost. Yet his mind is clearer than ever.
<•>
Y/n sings softly in her room as she flips over page to page in her fantasy book that she loves to read in her free time.
It's a quiet Saturday morning and with a dull weather.
"Damn, all we had is rain the whole spring" She makes a grimace before continuing reading.
However, there's something about the peace. Staying inside, rapped around in a blanket while listening to the rain and reading a nice book.
She loves it.
Her mom and dad had left on a trip to the northern of Japan to visit some family members. While her and Yuu were to stay in the estate and do whatever.
Yuu is currently on a sleepover with his guy friends and won't be back until later—leaving the girl in her own comfortable company.
After a long yawn, she places the book next to her on the bed and looks at the time. 12PM, maybe some time for food.
The teen unwraps her blanket and feels the cold air swirl around her body, making her shudder. She doesn't like the cold very much.
Her frame makes it to the kitchen as she starts pondering on what to make.
"Hmm....oh I got it!" She slips over to the black painted cupboard and rummages inside, "I'll make Shouto's favorite—Cold Soba" A warm smile plays on her lips as she also loves that dish.
After some good time for preparing the meal, Y/n places the food on the living room table. She sets on the TV and takes a seat, remembering to say thanks for the food as well.
Just before she can take a bite—the doorbell rings three times.
Her brow creases in annoyance, "Coming you nuisance, calm down" She clicks her tongue as she makes it to the front doors.
She isn't expecting anyone, but assumes it's just some seller who she is going to give a piece of her mind.
As she opens the door, she sees strands of white and red hair. "Shouto?" Her eyes then immediately widen after seeing his state, "Oh my gosh! What happened to you?!"
The boy collapses in her embrace, coughing up blood. Her hands barely holding him, but she manages as she quickly pulls him inside in a hurry.
"Shouto tell me what happened, you're covered in bruises and blood!" She panics as she leans down to his level, holding his face in her delicate hands.
His eyes are so hazy, like he's barely keeping his consciousness. Mostly from the blood loss.
He winches in pain, Y/n holds his frame and hugs him close to her body. "It's okay...it's okay, I'm right here now" She reassures.
As weakly, the dual haired male grabs her body close and leans on her shoulder. His voice rasped and dry.
"H-He...." Shouto starts, but the pain in his stomach is preventing any words to come out.
Y/n has long ago figured out what happened so she isn't going to force him to talk. Luckily she's alone or this situation could have gotten way more vesseld.
"I'm sorry—I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you" Her e/c eyes tear up. She has always felt responsible for what happened to him since she knew his secret.
But she couldn't tell anyone, Shouto won't let her.
Slowly and steady, she lifts him up and they walk into the bathroom. Y/n ushers him to sit on the toilet seat while she finds bandages and the cleaning supply.
Taking out the necessary, she tilts her head to look at his form. His eyes so pained and practically dull. The way he slowly quivers from the pain, it makes her sick.
How a monster could do this to him.
How people like that exist.
She takes her pads and dips them into antibacterial to clean his open cuts and freshly wounds.
'God what the hell did he do to him, he's gonna pay for this....I'm done playing nice girl'
Her brows creases and her teeth grit together hard.
Shouto winches in pain every time the pad makes contact with his skin. "I'm sorry Shou, just a few more and I'll bandage you up" Her voice chirps in a soft tone—despite feeling like breaking hell louse.
Y/n notices sweat form on Shouto's forehead. His body is continuously trying to heal him.
That bastard, how dare he? How dare call himself a pro-hero?!
Her blood has never boiled like this before. If she could, that bastard would have gone to jail right now. No more suffering.
Y/n finishes up bandaging him and leads the boy to her room. He carefully sits down on her bed and stares down at the floor.
She finds him a new pair of clothes, just some comfortable sweatpants and a blue hoodie that he left over.
Her cheeks flush a tiny red as she hands him the clothes. "D-Do you need help to change, you know I won't look at you like that?" She stares intensely into his mismatched hues.
"Yes please...I feel so numb, I can barely move" His voice rasps out.
It's not like this is weird for them. They have been childhood friends after all. Yes, they have grown and other body parts have developed as well. However they have both have such an established relationship and they're feelings were mutual, so there is no need to be embarrassed about things like that. They feel like soul-friends.
Y/n helps Shouto out of his shirt and notices a big purple bruise on his stomach. Poor boy must have lost his breath when taking that hit...
She shakes her head and puts on his hoodie. The female removes his pants and helps him put on his sweatpants. After that, she throws his dirty clothes into the washing machine and enters her room again.
The boy sitting with his hands inter-whined close. The h/c haired takes a seat next to him, looking deeply into his orbs.
It was like telling him that it was okay, you can cry now. Let it all out.
Because just then, Shouto let's his tears fall down his cheeks. His lips trembling and never did he usually show his emotions so well.
Y/n's eyes and brows narrow, before she takes the boy into her embrace. Him resting his head on her chest, sneaking his arms around her waist—not wanting to let go of the warmth that she gives.
He let's out small whimpers and sniffles as she strokes his dual hair. Feeling how soft his hair actually is.
"I'm right here Shouto, you have me and I'll never leave you. No matter what happens. Come to me, whenever you feel sad, depressed or you know...just talk to me, or stay in my embrace and I'll help you anyway I can" Her voice fills his lungs with a safe emotion. Much different from his father.
She reminds him of his mother and how kind she would caress him. Okay, Y/n is far from that gentle and she's way more rowdy and fierce. Yet, when it comes to Shouto, her hard heart melts and she embraces him like any mother would do.
She's going to be a great hero. He can tell.
"My parents won't be back until tomorrow, same goes for my brother. I know we haven't done this in a while and we're both growing up, but I'm not letting you go anywhere. Stay here tonight" Y/n says as she holds him tighter.
"Thank you...I want to stay here. I don't care if it's wrong, it doesn't matter to me. I have known you my whole life. I always feel so calm and safe with you. Whether you were a boy or not, that wouldn't change" The dual haired replies as he looks at her with slightly narrowed eyes.
The female closes her eyes as she smiles weakly. "That's right—nothing will change that"