"Daddy, could you tell me about mates?" Midnight blinks up at me with curiousity as I choke on the water I was gulping desperately after the play session he and I had. My father never told me about soulmates and I never really figured out how to explain the whole soulmate and Moon Goddess thing, considering I taught myself from the very books I was reading last week when Veronica decided to pay an unwanted visit.
Night and I had tried our best to make Mel and Luke jealous with our games, but unfortunately they were entirely captured by each other, they hardly even noticed our raucous laughter as we pretended the floor was lava and we had to use our super powers to prevent our oven-like doom. It was great fun though, despite our miniature failure.
"Well, Night, that's a conversation I wasn't really expecting to have so soon. You are almost five, you still have years before you have to worry about all that." I sigh, looking up at the clear sky. Yesterday was cloudy and I so desperately wanted it to rain so as to treat my beloved Blaze with a day in bed encased in each other's scents as she reads to me. She loves reading most on rainy days and I love her voice and the feel of her silky raven locks slipping through my fingers as I absent-mindedly stare at the beauty that is my mate.
"Mommy told me that she couldn't explain to me because she wanted Daddy to be with us when she did and I figured now would be nice to figure it out. I already have an idea, looking at you and Mommy all day makes the basic definition kind of obvious." I blink at my son as he plucks the grass and gently places them over roaming insects, almost like a shelter.
"Mommy said she wanted to explain it when I was around? So that means she knew she would see me again." I conclude. Midnight shrugs, picking the crumbs from his crossed legs and lightly sprinkles it around the shelters he built, patiently scrutinizing the way the ants work to gather the discarded food to take back home.
"Mommy once told me that she missed you and that she would want to see you one day when we're a little older, but she never spoke of it again. I figured that meant we would see you for sure some day." I glance back up at the sky, wisps of clouds barely obscuring the great blue atmosphere.
"Mommy and I are mates." I start after a few minutes engulfed in shared silence. Midnight blinks up at me, finally losing interest in the ants that have now retreated back into their nests.
"Mates are equals. They complete each other. Usually, it's someone who you'd never expect or it's completely obvious. Without them, you'll always feel a tiny bit hollow inside, like a piece of yourself is missing. When you find them, everything makes sense and you feel whole. Soon, you won't be able to live without each other. See, mates tend to become so strongly connected that leaving one another could cause death. It's a miracle how Mommy and I survived. I guess I have you to thank for that, since she always had a piece of me with her, so she never fully left me behind. Most mates fall in love instantly and start their life together."
"Most? So some don't?" Midnight looks perplexed, as though it's impossible not to love someone who was made especially for you. I shrug and ruffle his hair with a knowing smile.
"Mommy hated me." I stated with a slight smirk, remembering the way she used to resist the pull, but the moment I kissed her she wanted to give in. Night's eyes widen with surprise. It must sound absurd if you look at us now. We can barely go an hour without each other.
"Mommy thought I would never love her." I look down at my outstretched legs as the sadness I usually supress at the thought of her ever thinking I don't love her obscures my thoughts.
"Why would she think that, Daddy? You always kiss her and hold her and make her smile and laugh. She knows you love her." I smile at Night and chuckle at the confusion still covering his features.
"I kind of did something very bad, Night. I hurt Mommy. I made her heart hurt. I... Spent time with another woman before I met Mommy and I..."
"Daddy did the no-no deed with someone that wasn't Mommy?" Night gasps, shock disguising the confusion. What has Blaze been teaching him? The no-no deed? I stiffle a grin as this is a serious discussion.
"I did. It hurt Mommy's feelings and I didn't mean to. She rejected me. Rejection is when your mate says that they refuse to be with you and would rather find someone on their own. It hurts to be rejected. Your wolf becomes withdrawn. It's all a big mess when you're rejected." I sigh and lie down on my back. I feel the slight pang of loss when Blaze rejected me return and I know I never want to feel like that again.
"I'll never do that to my mate. I'll love her and only her. I'll never look at any other girl and I'd never hurt my mate. I will always make sure she knows she's the only one for me. She should never want to reject me." He states with determination.
"That's my boy. Do that and you'll have the happiest mate in the realm. Don't ever hurt her and treat her right. Love her. Do what is right by her. Never be selfish. Oh, Night there are so many things I wish I could take back. I'm just grateful Mommy still loves me despite all the things I've done to hurt her." I whisper the last part, knowing that he can still hear me.
"Well, Mommy doesn't regret loving Daddy, because now she has two little pups who mean the world to her and a loving mate that knows what he did wrong." I sit upright at the sound of my mates voice and jump up to grab her in a hug.
"I would still take back all the things I did to hurt you. I love you, always." I kiss her forehead as Midnight squeals, looking away. At least he's still shy, so we don't have to worry about mates just yet.
*_*_*_*_*
"Wolfy, what should I do?" I furrow my brows and stop in my tracks to listen to Blaze.
"I don't know, Feisty. Alice is going for a check up for the baby so I can't help you right now. We'll figure it out together afterwards."
"Is it wrong of me to want the old you back?" Blaze murmurs after a few seconds.
"The old me? Feisty, I haven't changed at all." Aiden sounds confused.
"If there is someone who changed, it's you. You're always with Noah and the kids, and I don't blame you, but don't give me crap about choosing my mate over you sometimes when you alway do it." I almost make a move to turn away, but Blaze's reply stops me in my tracks.
"I came back for Noah, for the kids to know their dad. I also came back for you, but now I barely see you. I know you have a mate now and she's your top priority, but you promised me once that it would never change us." I can hear the tears in her voice, yet I can't seem to comprehend it due to knowing she didn't only come back for my sake, but also for the sake of the guy I felt like I had to compete against for my mate's affections.
"Come on, that's not fair. You're different. I don't know, it feels weird not being the guy you come to for everything anymore. You spend all of your time with Noah, and sometimes I wonder if you'd even spend any time with me if it weren't for me always coming to get you."
"I don't come to you for everything? I came to you over this! I haven't even told anyone else, especially Noah and now you're telling me I don't tell you stuff anymore? That is low. Do you know how angry and hurt Noah would be if he found out that I kept something from him again? Worst of all, I told the guy he thought would steal me from him."
"I figure he already knows that you're hiding something." Aiden mutters and I can hear footsteps walking away. I turn to walk away, but a hand stops me. The sparks pleasantly raise goosebumps on my arm and I suck in a breath.
"Noah, how much did you hear?" I shrug her hand off and make my way back to our bedroom with her hot on my trail. As I reach the top of the staircase, I abruptly turn around and glare at my mate that has once again started living in secrecy. With Aiden no less.
"I heard enough. I need to be alone right now." I growl out and walk over to the kitchen. Blaze nears me and I brace myself against the countertop. My muscles tense as her arms snake around my chest and she grab onto my shoulders.
"Tell me what's wrong. Let me make it better." She whispers into my back and kisses between my shoulder blades.
"You can't." I mutter and turn to face her. She takes a step backwards as I rise to my full stature.
"I could if you'd just talk to me. Please," She pleads and I let out a soft grunt, walking to the leather couch in front of the big flat screen television.
"You're keeping secrets. Again." I stress the last word as I search for the remote control. I find it wedged between the couch cusions and switch on the television and open Netflix.
"Noah, I- just trust me." She stutters, moving to stand in front of me. I let out an agitated sigh and pause The Fifth Wave. I glare up at my mate and decide that enough is enough. Her secrecy caused me pain once before, I'll be damned if it happened again.
"How can I?" I ask exasperatedly.
"How can I trust someone wh-who never tells me the truth, who never fills me in on her secrets? I just can't seem to figure out a single reason for you to be lying to me and keeping things from me, again."
"Noah, I'm not lying to you, I'm-"
"Well, you sure as hell aren't telling the truth! For all I know, you and Aiden are canoodling behind my back." I growl in frustration, grabbing my hair with the temptation to pull it out pushing it's way through.
Blaze moves to sit beside me and takes my hand in her smaller soft ones. I try pulling away, but her grasp is firm and the look of determination keeps me still.
"Feel." She takes my hand and gently places it over her stomach. My confusion subsides when I feel the second heartbeat increasing.
"Is that?" I mumble in awe, staring at my hand with the curiosity of a new born pup. I lean forward, laying my head on her flat stomach to hear the sound. The light thumping causes me to choke on the lump in my throat and I immediately stand up, taking Blaze with me. I pull her closer to me and kiss her all over her face and stomach as the excitement envades my every thought.
We're having another pup.
"How long have you known?" I ask, glancing up at her after smothering her stomach with kisses. Her giggling dies down and she tugs me to sit back down.
"I found out this morning and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you'd react. I mean, you just started bonding with Mel and Midnight recently and I felt like adding onto that would be too much for you. I thought you'd be angry. I mean, it's not like we've exactly been careful, and I mean with it not being my heat and all, except for that one time, mmpf." I keep moving my lips against hers to get her to stop talking. When I know she won't start talking again, I let go of her and lightly touch her cheeks.
"You just made me the happiest man alive. This is the best thing you could've given me." I say with sincerity as her eyes flicker to mine.
"You're not upset?" She whispers. I scoff and snake my hands onto her thighs to pull her closer to me.
"I could never be upset about this. I could never really be upset with you either." I chuckle and she smiles up at me before moving away.
"Well, I guess I should go tell Aiden the secret is out and he doesn't have to be antsy around you. More than he already is." She sends a pointed look my way and I narrow my eyes at her.
"It's not my fault he keeps on getting on my bad side." I grumble, standing up to go make something to eat.
*_*_*_*_*
"Why are you blaming me for her actions? It's not my fault she's afraid of what you might think or do. You weren't the most understanding person before, Noah." I glare at Aiden as my fists tighten around his collar. He lets out a strangled breath as the collar cuts off his air supply.
"Let me tell you how it looks from mine and Alice's point of view, huh. We see our mates bathing in their secret conversations behind closed doors. Our mates happen to have a best friend of the opposite sex who never leave each other alone. Our mates spend every day with someone whom they clearly seem to trust more than us and it bloody hurts if I'm being honest, that my mate trusts some guy who has conveniently been there every time I messed up, over me. Not to mention it's the same guy who coincidentally talked her into rejecting me; the same guy who I don't necessarily feel too chummy with at the moment. Do you see what I mean? I can guarantee that Alice feels similarly towards the situation, if not exactly as betrayed as I do. You will never feel the discomfort and ache that I have to feel every single time my mate is around someone who is clearly better than I am for her. Someone who she considered to be a better mate than I could ever be. She told me that she wished you were her mate and now? Now I have to live with the same crap every single day; Blaze making time for someone who isn't me. Call me jealous, but that doesn't sound like something I should be tolerating, but I do. I tolerate it because I love her and she loves you. I will not hurt her again, but I'd appreciate it if you'd back off and tell her to come to me in the future, because what I do not tolerate, is secrets." Aiden sighs and reaches up to my arm and pats it with a wry smile.
"Dude, my mate's at the doctors with complications since the babies is struggling to breathe. Could you put me down and we'll continue this... Conversation later, yeah?" He tilts his head and flutters his eyelashes with pout. With a frustrated growl I slam him into the wall and let him go.
"We don't have to, I made my point." I growl, turning to go find my mate.