THE SPAWNS
A Nice Canvas for You
Chapter XXX—Lilibeth
© DarknessAndLight
I was trying to knit and falling miserably at it. Nikki had tried showing it to me very slowly. She also stood in front of me, practically grabbing my hands to guide them. She showed me videos and knitting books. Nothing worked. "I don't understand why I can't do it. I play violin and the piano. My fingers are dexterous. But this, this is just impossible," I admitted in a huff, blowing at my bangs.
Nikki had been adamant about finding me a hobby. She thought I could be a knitter like her. Obviously, that was never going to happen.
"You know what you should actually do," she suddenly said. "You could start making jewellery, maybe something like that bracelet of yours that Cole did for you. You should learn how to do that. You should call Cole and ask him to show you how to do it. Go on. Call him. Call. Him."
I smiled at her, a tight lips satisfied smile. "Nope."
My cousin didn't look impressed. She looked annoyed. "I've always wondered. Who do you think is more stubborn? The Eatons or the Graysons?" my cousin pondered.
My answer was instantaneous. "The Eatons. One hundred percent. Graysons are unobservant and easily distracted. Eatons remember, forever."
Nikki shook her head, disagreeing. "That's just a myth though, that whole unobservant Grayson thing. We do it so people let down their guards. We've totally noticed absolutely everything we see happening around us. We just don't find them pertinent enough to give them any attention."
I chuckled. "So, Graysons are snobs?"
Nikki poked my arm lightly with one of the knitting needles. "I think it's really funny the way you talk about Graysons like you aren't one. You might not have the name but you're fifty fifty darling."
I smiled at that remark, and then tried to work on my knitting again. I was seeing no chances of improvement in the foreseeable future.
I sighed heavily, pushing the disastrous work of yarn away from me. "This isn't working..."
"Hey, it's no problem," Nikki assured me, putting down her own work. While I had barely done two rows filled with missing stitches for a scarf on my own knitting project, my cousin was well halfway through hers. Sure, her work wasn't perfect either, but at least she looked like she knew what she was doing. "We're just trying it stuff here, and see what works. You need to find things that make you happy. There's bound to be a lot of trials and errors."
"I do have dancing and playing the violin you know. And piano too, but I prefer my violin."
"Sure, but those are like, grand thing. I want you to find pleasure in small menial things. I want day to day joys for you."
I thought about it, about small menial thing making me happy. Reading might be one, but I didn't think this was what Nikki would have hoped for an answer.
"What about art? Like drawing and stuff. I know you guys are pretty artsy in your family. You go do that graffiti vandalism all together right?" my cousin asked.
"Yes. We work better as a team," I explained.
She frowned. "Who says that?"
I frowned too, confused. "What?"
"Who says you're better when working as a team? Have you ever created anything on your own? Anything that only belonged to you? "
I gnawed at the inside of my lips, feeling guilty for some reason. "Not really... I mean, I doddle stuff now and then but I've never really did anything nice on my own."
"How about you start now?" she exclaimed, getting up on her feet.
"You want us to go vandalise some public property together? Because I have to be honest here, the whole being illegal thing, that's more Jay, Cole and Mai's thing," I informed her. I had no plans of getting arrested tonight.
"Who says we even have to get out of the house?" Nikki said with a mischievous smile and then started to tear off pictures and posters from one of her walls.
"What are you doing?" I asked her, incredulous.
"Creating a nice canvas for you," she simply replied with a smile still on her lips.
"Are you crazy?"
"What? You don't want to paint on my wall?" she asked challengingly, one hand on her hip.
The truth was... I was actually curious. I never did any project of that size on my own. I never thought what I did deserved that big of a space.
"Yeah, I actually do want to paint on your wall."
In the end, we had to get out of the house to get some material. My uncle drove us. He went in a sport shop beside ours. Nikki was super excited, skipping around the arts and crafts store. We were there to buy paint and brushes but she was going though each and every aisles and finding something to check more closely and add to our cart.
When we were finally done with all the aisles and her father was waiting for us, Nikki stopped before getting into the cash register linbe
"I hate this part, when I have to decide who makes the cut, who gets the roses, who's allowed to come home with me," she announced dramatically, taking out bottles of glitter and too expensive yarn.
I smiled, "you're crazy."
She smiled back. "And isn't it amazing?"
When we finally got back to her house and I stood in front of her naked wall, I froze with the painting brush in my hand. "You know, you were talking about daily joys and little menial things. I just want you to know that painting a whole wall isn't a daily kind of activity," I informed her.
"This is about giving you confidence in your own work though. You need to realize that you got this on your own."
I looked back at Nikki, sitting on her bed cross-legged. "You should totally become a life coach when you get older."
"Why when I'm older," she blew out a chuckling breath. "I'm already a life coach baby."
I grinned. "That, you are."
I took a deep breath. Now or never... And just like that, I started to paint.
I painted all day long. I didn't step out of Nikki's room. Nikki's mom brought us our dinner in her room and we just kept chatting together working on our projects. I was painting, Nikki was knitting a sweater.
I thought it was really nice that my aunt didn't say anything about the sudden new decoration in Nikki's room. Knowing my cousin better though, I figure this was probably a natural occurrence.
In the end, I have to admit I was very happy with the final result of my work. I'd never done anything of this scale on my own. Usually, I didn't even pitch the main ideas, I just tagged along. I didn't think it was because I was scared that the Three Musketeers would reject my ideas, I guess I was just because I was used to not really having a voice around them.
"I love it," Nikki told me, standing beside me.
I had painted a sort of manga version of Nikki, knitting and basically wrapped in yarn. She was pouting little characters cocooned in pink. I had to admit, it was all sorts of adorable. And I'd been able to give a sort of texture to the yarn with the way I painted the lines. The yarn was basically going everywhere and here and there, I made little yarn monsters, like the little piles of wool had come alive.
I was proud of it. Really proud of it. The feeling warmed my chest.
"Here," Nikki handed me a cream notebook with flowers and butterflies drawn all over it. When I opened it all the pages were blank. "Now that you know you're good, try to always remember it. Draw or paint in it every day. The pages are thick enough to do watercolors."
"When did you get this?"
"You know, if you're really that unobservant, I guess you'll have to change your name to Grayson now," she teased me. "I hid it in the pile of stuff I bought earlier," she added, explaining it to me.
I smiled warmly at my cousin, hugging the notebook against my chest.
"And you can write things in there too you know. The way you feel, quotes you might like. Lyrics caught in your head. This is yours. Fill it with you."
I think I hadn't realized how much I needed someone to acknowledge me the way my cousin was. I was always trying to be quiet and unnoticed, but deep down, I think a part of me always wanted to be noticed. To matter. I didn't want to be a burden because of my dark days. I wanted to be understood and accepted. I wanted to be praise. It wasn't vanity that was driving this feeling, at least I didn't think it was. It was rather years of feeling like I was living in the shadow of everyone else, of people better than me.
I always felt like less.
Looking at Nikki's wall, covered with my lines, I mattered.
Nikki let me look at my work while she went to lie down on her bed. It was late now. Everyone else had gone to sleep, and the house was quiet.
I stared at it for a little while longer and then closed the lights and went to lay down beside my cousin.
"Warm summer days when it's not humid and there's a light breeze," Nikki said softly beside me.
I frowned even though she couldn't see me. "Huh?"
"I like to list things that make me happy, things that I love," she explained. "You should to it to."
I thought about it for a second. "Rainy days when I can snuggle in a warm blanket with hot chocolate and read a book."
"Fuzzy socks."
"Scrunchies"
"Dogs."
"Cats." I thought about Fluffy.
"Pink."
"Green." The green of Cole's eyes with a speck of gold and brown in them.
"Roses."
"Lilacs."
"Raspberries."
"Strawberries."
"Chubby babies."
I chuckled. "Laughing chubby babies."
"Lipstick that doesn't stain but that doesn't feel like I need to peel my lips off when I take it off."
"Fruity lip balm."
"When you wake up in the morning and your hair is perfect," Nikki said in a wishful voice.
"And you feel rested."
"Sure, but mostly the hair," she agreed with a soft laugh.
"Finally realizing how awesome my cousin truly is," I admitted.
"People finally realizing my true value," she said a little dramatically. I chuckled. "Oh! And Mister Mason!" She clutched my hand in both of hers, like this was very important. "Sweet beautiful Mister Mason. Dear Mister Mason, I dreamt the other night that my brothers turned into goblins and I hid it from my parents and they would only eat my falling teeth but I didn't want to give it to them, I wanted to give them to the Tooth Fairy so I could buy an unicorn. It had nothing to do with you, but I would have much rather dreamt about your strong beautiful hands writing notes on a chalkboard while you give us a spectacular view of your round behind."
I stopped her from saying more. "Oh my god, you sent him that?"
She nudged me with her elbow repeatedly. "You bet your stubborn Eaton ass I did!"
I laughed. "You crazy Grayson girl."
And so we kept on talking for as long as our eyes were able to stay opened, giggling and smiling all the while.
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A/N: And the writing spree continues! If you haven't already seen, I uploaded a new Adventure today and a new chapter of The Virgin and the Whore. I'm uploading these because today is my Wattpad birthday. I've been on this website for nine years now. It's also the seventh anniversary of finally finishing I Sold Myself....
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry for making you guys wait so long again for another upload. But do not fret my children! I've been focusing on My Wish Upon a Star for the last couple of months, but once it's completed (only one chapter left now), I'll start focusing on The Spawns, to finish it (because the 2018 goal is to finish stories). So basically, get ready to see more The Spawns chapters coming your way in September.
Also, don't forget to check out my Wattpad Block Party post that will be up tomorrow. It's a chapter in Blake's brother's POV. I'll put the external link to the Party on this chapter. Or you can just go to KellyAnneBlount's page.
So, I think that covers it all for now. Be on the lookout for more fun things coming your way today. 8D