I can barely contain my excitement on the ride home from school. Luke is practically bouncing off the walls beside me in the backseat as we wait for Beau to officially pull into the drive way before throwing open the door and rushing to the house.
"Alright, you go get changed and comfy for the ride, I'll fix you something to eat." Luke drops his bag on the stairs as he heads for the kitchen, seemingly having a game plan in mind.
"Oh no you don't, I am not making the mistake of letting you cook in my kitchen, not again." AJ follows behind him so closely it makes me laugh, thinking back on the cooking disaster he speaks of.
It is a house rule to not speak of Luke's meatloaf.
"That was one time and you know it!"
I shake my head at their antics, already flying up the stairs to get changed into my comfy road trip clothes. I'd picked the clothes out last night while packing, and looking at it spread on my bed makes me giddy with excitement.
I pull on AJ's old football sweatshirt and leggings, wiggling my toes as I slip on my favorite grey fuzzy socks.
I practically skip down the stairs, mouth-watering at the amazing smell wafting out from the kitchen. AJ directs me to the table when I walk in, and expertly slides an omelette on my plate from the pan. I have to laugh at Luke's pouting face as he pours me a glass of juice, although he winks at my grin, so I know he isn't too upset.
"You have cash? A phone charger? Your cell is fully charged? What are you guys doing about food?"
"Yes, to all three. And we've agreed to go shopping Saturday morning, to get all the food we'll need while we're there, so that's taken care of."
"Did you check in with Dad? Make sure he's not going to be down there this weekend?"
Not even the mentioning of my absentee Father can bring my mood down, not today. "When I called in, his assistant at the office said he had board meetings all this weekend, he won't be there."
"Okay, good. What about medical emergencies? You know where the closest hospital is, and you're bringing up a first aid kit?"
"Sir, yes sir," I fake salute him in an effort to remind him that I am his sister and not a fellow officer.
"Beau and I are on speed dial on your phone?"
"You always have been."
AJ's grin is infectious as he leans over me to kiss my forehead, grabbing my empty plate to bring it to the sink.
"Sorry Em, I don't mean to interrogate you, just have to make sure you've thought everything through."
I hug him around the waist from behind, letting my cheek rest on his back, "I know, and I appreciate the concern, really, but we'll be okay."
"GROUP HUG!!" Luke crushes me from behind before I can even register what he said, and despite his eye roll, Beau joins in too, ruffling my hair playfully as he thuds a hand on Luke's back, five starring him.
"OW! You ass-hat, why would you do such a thing?" We separate immediately, AJ and I turning to face them with growing grins.
"I didn't like your face." Beau shrugs simply, un-offended by the crude name.
"So, hit me in the face then, like a logical person, what did my back do to you?!" Luke rubs at his back, lifting up his shirt to examine the growing red hand print outline in his skin.
"Sorry, want me to hit you in the face then?"
"My face is my money maker and you know it. Taint it with your aggression and prepare to feel the wrath buddy."
I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts, and I nearly miss the sound of the doorbell ringing. I leave Beau and Luke to continue their bickering while I practically skip to the front door, throwing it open in excitement.
Nathan's grin matches my own. "I'm so excited."
"M-me t-too." He pecks my forehead as he steps inside, settling his bag down next to my own on the floor.
Our little bubble of time is broken at the sound of the shrill shriek coming from the kitchen.
"What is wrong with you!?"
"The wrath I tell you! Feel the wrath!" Luke and Beau race out the kitchen and around the living room, each wielding a wooden spoon in their hand.
"Um, can the wrath wait until after I leave?" They both turn at the sound of my voice, looking apologetically between Nathan and I as they drop their weapons on the coffee table in a truce and make their way towards me.
I start putting on my shoes while they all say hello, shaking Nathan's hand.
"You know how to get there?" AJ raises an eyebrow at him, trying to look intimidating.
"Ye-ye-yes sir."
"You're a good driver?"
"Y-yes sir."
"You won't let anything bad happen to Emma?"
"No sir. Ne-never."
AJ grins, losing any semblance of the tough guy role he was trying to portray, and instead looks like a teddy bear as he hands me my windbreaker and frets over my hair getting caught on the zipper.
"Text us as soon as you arrive please,"
"I will, don't worry." AJ's hug is so tight I can hardly breathe my way through it; but I hug him back just as fiercely, appreciating his protectiveness, even if it is unneeded.
"Be safe Baby-Bear, and have fun. I want to hear all about your trip once you're back." Luke ruffles my hair playfully as he hugs me, but all kidding aside, I can tell he means what he says.
"Have fun Em, you deserve it." Beau hugs me tight, and teasingly pinches my sides, making me squirm. He laughs at me my reaction as he pulls away, leaning back to rest his arm on the wall. He narrows his eyes at me as he passes over the keys to his car, but I can see he's fighting a smile.
"We'll see you soon!" I wave enthusiastically as I follow Nathan out the door, struggling with my bag until he swoops in to grab it.
"Hey I had that," I lie, watching him pack both our bags into the trunk of Beau's car.
"S-s-sure y-yo-you did E-Emma." He fights a smile as he closes the trunk and walks around the passenger side to open my door before getting in his.
"Ready for this?" I excitedly drum my fingers on the dashboard as I wait for Nathan to buckle up and start the car, instantly being met with a rumbling growl as the engine starts.
"I'm s-so ex-ex-excited fo-for th-th-this." He slowly eases the car out of the drive way, ever the careful driver as we pull onto the road and start driving, leaving the safety of my house in the rear-view mirror. I watch it until I can't see it anymore, and turn to focus on the road ahead of me.
"Me too, I've been counting down the days."
His right hand leaves the steering wheel to find my own, and holds it carefully in the space between our seats. I nearly sigh in content at the contact, loving the feel of his fingers between mine.
The bustling city streets of Toronto make for a long drive to get out of the city, and within the first hour we've just barely advanced 10 blocks. Every intersection is jammed bumper to bumper with taxis and pedestrians, making for a long stop and start ride.
Nathan continuously reroutes the GPS on his cell phone, trying to find shortcuts around the everyday Toronto traffic flow.
"At th-this r-ra-rate, we'll b-be ou-out of To-Toronto b-b-by se-seven, and at th-th-the c-co-cott-cottage b-by t-ten. I'm s-so-sorry it's ta-tak-taking so l-long."
"I'm not, just means we get a longer road trip experience," I wink at him as I lean over to turn up the radio, content to flip through the channels in search of a familiar song.
"Th-th-that's op-opt-optimistic of y-you."
"Well of course, we've got to be optimistic."
My hand halts as the familiar guitar intro plays through the vehicle, seeming to come alive under my finger tips; thrumming a living beat within the walls of the car.
"T-turn it u-up, pl-please?"
I do so happily, letting myself lean back in the ease of my seat as we maneuver through the streets. Where the Streets Have No Name by U2 seems like a wildly ironic song to be listening to while driving in Toronto, and I absolutely love it; the moment, the feeling, every second.
It paints the scenery we by-pass in a different light, baring the images around the car differently to us within it. The crowds seem to pass by in slow motion, allowing me the chance to catch various moments of life. Couples walking hand in hand, friends stumbling out of restaurants, laughing as they lean into each other, little kids tugging on their parents coats as they maneuver through intersections.
"It's so beautiful," I whisper, loving all the neon signs and street lights that pass in a blur of motion, like mini suns dotted along the solar system, or stars blinking in the night sky.
His hand squeezes mine softly, bringing it up to his lips to kiss my knuckles.
"I-it is."
Even out of the corner of my eye, I can see his eyes trained on me, watching me smile at his words.
He starts smiling too.
. . . . .
"Em-Emma? We're h-he-here." My eyelashes flutter at his voice, and I slowly awake, startled to be surrounded by darkness outside the car.
"I'm so sorry I fell asleep, I didn't want to leave you alone for the whole drive," I sit up immediately, with my eyes having adjusted to the darkness, I can make out the familiar shape of the turning gravel drive way that leads us up the hill to the cottage.
"It's ok-okay, yo-you w-were r-really t-tired. But I d-di-didn't w-want yo-you to m-miss ar-arriving." He drives slow along the turns, giving me plenty of time to soak in our surroundings.
By the time the cottage comes in to view, I'm beaming; the grey siding looks so familiar, like an old friend I haven't seen in a while. The porch with the wide patio next to the lake is just as I remember; wicker furniture set around the low wooden table, barbecue up against the banister, creaky steps leading down the hill to the dock, and the lake.
"It's p-pe-perfect." He kills the engine, and we sit for a few moments, content to let the wind blowing off the lake and the swaying of the trees fill the silence.
"I think so too." My words seem to lurch us into motion, together we get out of the car and head around to the trunk, popping it open to grab our bags.
Nathan refuses to let me carry anything, and so I'm tasked with unlocking the cottage door and showing him into the living room, where he can drop them on the couch.
I turn the various lamps around the living room on, and move on to flick the switch in the kitchen, lighting up the grey wooden cabinet doors and white wooden counter tops.
It's exactly as I remember from the last time we stayed here. Billowing, flowing white curtains over every window, warn, driftwood floorboards that creek as you step on them. The faded leather couch, love seat, and chair in the living room have been long sense warn in, with thick blankets folded over the backs of each. The old, box TV is mounted in a small wooden cabinet in front of the coffee table, offering the perfect spot to lay a mug of tea while watching one of the many DVD movies we keep up here.
The little bathroom is still just as vibrantly blue as I remember, and the two bedrooms on either side of it are as we left them; a bunk bed and a single in one, pushed on opposite ends of the room, and the queen size bed in the next, with wide bay windows above the headboard.
"It's small, but it's cozy."
His arms wrap around me from behind, hugging me to his chest tightly. He curves over my shoulder, resting his chin in the junction of my neck.
"It's p-pe-perfect."
I can't help smiling as I turn to face him in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm glad you agree then."
"O-of co-course." His lips just barely brush mine as he speaks, feather light as he teases me, leaning in and pulling back, a constant motion that's just barely not enough contact.
"Are you tired?" My eyes flutter closed as his lips press against my forehead in a chaste peck.
"I c-co-could st-stay up f-for a l-little. A-are yo-you?"
I shake my head softly, no. "Why don't we watch a movie? I can see if we left any hot chocolate up here while you pick one?"
"S-sure." He lets me go, somewhat hesitantly, and makes his way over to the movies in the shelves of the TV cabinet.
I grin when I find a box of hot chocolate powder in the cabinet over the counter, and start boiling water in the kettle while I wash out two mugs.
By the time I return to the living room, Nathan has three movie cases in his hand, obviously debating which to watch.
"Wh-what're y-you f-feeling? The Lion King, Toy Story, or Wall-E?"
I place our mugs on the coffee table, and lean back into the couch cushions, nearly sighing at their undeniable comfort.
"I like The Lion King?"
"Ex-excellent ch-cho-choice." He winks as he sets it up in the DVD player, and quickly runs around to join me on the couch. As soon as he settles in he raises his arm, allowing me the perfect spot to lean into his side, with my feet tucked up beside me. His arm draws me closer, until my head is on his shoulder, and only then does he seem to relax, muscles easing into a state of comfort.
As the movie plays on, and our mugs of hot chocolate empty, I seem to melt even more into his body, content to relax myself into the familiar shape of his muscles; every curve and dip of my frame fits into his, until I can hardly tell where he begins and I end.
It's almost undeniable that I would fall asleep.
. . . . .
"Which do you like better, orange juice, or apple juice? I can't decide." I hold up the two cartons questioningly in my hands, waiting for his reply as he finishes arranging the bag of pasta in the shopping cart.
He squints dramatically, weighing his options, and I try not to laugh at his look of utter concentration.
"Ap-apple ju-juice, all th-the w-way."
After putting away the orange juice, we re-examine all the groceries in our cart.
"I think we're done, right?"
"I think so too."
We walk side by side back to the cash register, and when we get there, we work in a rhythmic silence to pay for, and pack up all our groceries.
Despite being just barely past eight in the morning, the sun is a scorcher above us, already beating down on us in waves of rolling heat. It makes me happy that I added a sundress to my bag at last minute, and even happier that I decided to wear it today.
"That didn't take as long as I thought it would," Nathan closes the trunk of the car once all the bags are packed in, and ushers the cart into the return station.
"S-same he-here. Wh-what d-do y-you w-want to d-do on-once w-we g-get b-back?"
We drive with the windows down, and the breeze that blows through feels amazing on my sun-soaked skin. The little cottage town passes by slowly; a series of family owned shops and businesses line the few streets, and multiple bridges guide the way over various creeks and rivers.
It's the kind of town that is time old in itself; the kind of town that families stay in for generations, where kids grow up with neighborhood barbecues and ice fishing. Where everybody knows everybody, and you can name all the houses on your street.
"Well after we put everything away, we could grab a quick breakfast, then maybe get changed and go swimming?"
He smiles at me as we turn of the main roads, and into the narrow back-wood lanes that lead us to the more isolated cottages.
"Th-that s-so-sounds g-great."
I love pulling up to the cottage in the day ten times more than at night; it gives me the chance to really see the whole picture. How it rests just perfectly on the slope of this little hill, how it's framed by towering woods on the right side, and the lake on left. I love the rocky boarder between land and water, and how there's just enough space between the two for a fire pit. A creaky, old willow tree hangs over the water, and the long, tendril like leaves just barely kiss the surface when the breeze flows through.
It's the kind of perfect you want to come home to; the kind of perfect that feels better with his hand in yours as you walk side by side up to the front door.
We unpack quickly, filling the fridge and one of the many cabinets with groceries before agreeing on scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast. While Nathan whisks the eggs in a bowl, I veer off into the living room, searching through the TV cabinet for the perfect CD.
Mom loves making her own playlists and burning them on CD's. I remember one summer, a long time ago, she brought a few of them up to the cottage, but forgot to bring them home. The songs they held forever became staple cottage songs; regardless where we are when we hear it, it's all we can think of.
I select one of my favorite's, 'The Morning Playlist' as Mom and I like to call it, and pop it into the stereo, thrilled to turn it up as I make my way back to the kitchen.
The telltale drum sticks are the intro to 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' and within seconds the lyrics are filling the small cottage, even audible over the loud stove fan.
While Nathan starts on the eggs, I get the bacon going, unable to stop myself from bouncing on my toes to the beat. I hum along as I try to avoid being splashed by grease flying off the pan, and eventually that just turns into singing. When the bacon finishes, and I move to put it on a plate, I'm shocked to find Nathan watching me, his eyes smiling as much as his grin is.
"What?" I poke his arm as I move past him with he plate, laying it down on the table between the two place settings.
"N-nothing." He shakes his head as he comes up behind me, placing forks down along with glasses.
"No, come on, tell me." I turn to face him, laying my hands over his waist.
"Y-you're j-ju-just c-cute, th-that's a-all."
"Well thank you, you're pretty cute yourself."
"I-I'm v-ve-very gl-glad y-you th-think so."
. . . . .
It didn't show this much skin when I bought it...did it?
I watch my reflection in the mirror, looking at the way the bikini set I bought fits. It seems so much more revealing when I'm about to wear it in front of people; in front of Nathan.
"Just own it, do it." I hype myself up as I grab my towel off the counter, throwing it over my shoulder as I finally exit the bathroom.
I'm pulling on my flip flops by the door when Nathan finally exits the bedroom where he'd been changing, his eyes on his towel.
"R-ready t-t-" I turn back to look at him curiously, and my face nearly catches fire when I notice him looking.
Being so bare under his gaze gives me goosebumps, but not in a bad way. His eyes are solely on mine now, and yet it feels like so much more than that. When you pass by guys on the street, you can tell when they look, when their eyes linger a little too long, their gaze a little too low. But that's nothing like the way Nathan is looking at me. He's looking at me like I'm the sun and the stars, and it makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, that could be true.
It's so distracting I almost don't notice what he's wearing; how his shorts fit just perfectly, slung low on his hips. The swim shirt he has on hugs his shoulders and chest, revealing the boyish muscle he has always hidden under sweaters and t-shirts.
"I'm ready, are you?" I hold out my hand, eager to guide him outside to one of my arguably favorite places in the world.
He nods as he takes my hand, letting me lead him out onto the porch, and down the stairs to around the side of the house. The picnic table is where we've always left it, just above the light sand dusting that leads down to the water. We drop our towels on the table and slowly edge our way down over the rocks and onto the sand.
The heat is already overbearing, hanging thick in the air like a blanket over our bodies. My long hair is sticking to the back of my neck, and I can feel the moisture building on my skin. It makes the water feel all the more better; the light waves produced by the wind blow it up over our ankles before receding back into the murky green depths of the lake.
"I'll race you?" I grin at Nathan as I take another step forward, wanting to sigh in relief as the water washes away any sweat that had built on my hot skin.
"Y-you're o-on. T-to th-th-the l-log?" He points to a thick log floating just barely thirty feet out in the water, and I nod eagerly, convinced my swimming experience here may give me a slight edge of at least not horribly losing.
"On the count of three...one...two...three!" I don't think when I dive into the water, just simply lunge forward, encompassing myself in the dark depths of the lake. My strokes are quick and consecutive, used to moving against the natural flow of the water. I love how familiar it feels; my hair flowing out behind me like a cape, the strain in my arms as I push myself just a little faster. Whenever I turn my head, just enough to inhale a sharp breath of air, it tastes like heaven in my strained lungs.
His fingers wrap around my ankle like a vise, tugging me just slightly back, until I'm trapped in his arms and unable to get out.
"Hey, cheater!" I'm gasping as I come up for water, not even realizing that my legs are treading to account for the lack of ground below me. It makes me grateful that his arms are around me, keeping me up against his chest.
"Ch-ch-cheat-cheater? I-I al-already w-won. B-but y-you w-w-were so f-f-focused th-that y-you we-went r-right b-by th-the l-log." He turns us with ease to look behind his shadow, where, sure enough, the log floats, bobbing in the ripples created by our movements.
I can feel my cheeks flushing pink. "Whoops. Sorry," I can't help smiling though, it felt too good to be sorry for it.
He shakes his head as he directs us back towards the shallow water, where I'll be able to stand without his assistance. When we do reach the shallower water, Nathan crouches onto his knees making him slightly less tall next to me.
I curl my arms around his waist at the same time he reaches for mine, drawing us mutually close together, until I can stand with my legs on either side of his.
"Is th-this ok-ok-okay?" His voice is a whisper against my skin, unsure of himself and seeking confirmation.
"Of course," I tug him closer, so I can lean on his chest, trying to show him rather than tell him- it is okay.
The fabric of his long sleeve grey swim shirt slides between my fingers, feeling as thin as a second skin over his figure. I love how smooth it is, and I can't help but admire the fit on him; he's always had such a great figure, it's nice to see him show it off, even if it's just for me.
"Y-you l-loo-look r-really gr-great." He says it like a whisper, as if he's afraid we'll be overheard. It's so endearingly sweet; how is eyes look as wide as a puppy's, and his hands are so tentatively resting over my skin- all of it is so utterly Nathan that it's practically melting my heart.