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"They say time heals all wounds. But as time passes, those wounds, they get worse as realization sinks in. Realization that the world will never be the same." I looked out at all the faces gathered in the small chapel, as stray sobs rang out, "Darwin and Anne were my friends. My family. Each day since I'd - Since we'd lost them, I couldn't stop myself from asking why. Why had I lived, and survived the same illness that took their lives? But I've come to realize that death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes, and it takes, and it takes, and there's not a thing we can do to stop it."
I took in a deep breath, glancing between my friends, whose melancholic faces stared up from the frontmost rows. Sam, Trinity, Alice, Fran, Anthony, George... And Dot. My gaze settled on her before I continued.
"I can't be sure of anything anymore except this; although time does not heal wounds, it goes on. Because time doesn't have time for the struggles, or the losses you go through. And it's up to you to push through those hardships, no matter how daunting the task may prove. Because as I see it, you can either move on, or stay in the same miserable lull for the rest of your days. And is that what Anne and Darwin would've wanted for us? For their friends and family? Of course not. Though we won't ever see them again during our time on this earth, we can take heart in knowing that they will watch over us, and guide us through life, just as we will do for each other. Anne once said that being there, for each other, is the most that a family can offer one another." I paused for a moment, smiling, "Her wise words still hold truth, even now that she's gone. Just remember that if only we stay strong, and support one another; we can move past anything."
I looked around at the faces, etched with a new hope after my speech. Some even smiled and nodded as I returned to my seat. It felt wonderful to have instilled them with some happiness after the long two weeks of grief. I took up George's hand, and he held mine close as the service came to a conclusion. As guest converged and quietly conversed amongst themselves, I pulled George aside, noticing that the sadness emanating off of the people in attendance was beginning to overwhelm him. I guided him to the gardens, at lat stopping and turning to face him once we were a long distance from the funeral.
"How are you holding up?" I took both his hands in mine.
"Rose," he shot me a pitifully sad smile, "I'm hardly holding up."
"We'll get through this, George." I assured him.
"How can you say that after Marie? Fredrick?" he shook his head.
"George... We'll never forget them, and I don't think we'll ever stop regretting what happened. But I can wholeheartedly say that you've helped me to manage it. You've helped me through it, as we will help each other through this."
"I don't think there is any getting through this Rose. Darwin... He was just a boy. Just a sweet, innocent young boy. And Anne-" his voice cracked, "She was like my mother, always there for me when I needed her... And even when I didn't need her, she was always there. And I pushed her away. If I could take back anything it would be that. All those years... Why did I push her away?" he lamented, turning away from me as a tear escaped from the corner of his eye.
I completely sympathized with him, I'd gone through almost the exact ordeal as a child. And yet, I did not know what to say to comfort him. What would I have wanted someone to say? Nothing. There wasn't anything anyone could say that would make it better... Make it go away. And so, that's what had to be said.
"George. Nothing I can say can change what happened. Nothing I can do can get you through it. That's up to you. You have to make the choice to keep pushing - To keep fighting. Just remember that no matter what you choose to do, I'll always be here to support you." I hugged him from behind as his head lolled.
We stood there for a long time, in silence, still failing the astronomically difficult task of coming to terms with everything.
"I love you." he suddenly blurted, turning around and returning my embrace, "More than anything in this life."
"I love you too." I responded lightly, wiping a tear out of the corner of his eye.
"We should be married. Soon." he stated, causing my gaze to snap up to meet his.
"What?"
"You said we need to push through this, to keep fighting. I want to do that with you by my side, as my wife. It's what Anne would have wanted." he nodded to himself.
"I suppose... But don't you think it's too soon? Everyone is still recovering."
"We can wait, it's just that I... I don't want another tragedy to come between us. Not like so many other times before. I want to be with you." he said firmly.
"We'll need to give them all time. A month, maybe more... But so long as you're mine and I'm yours, tragedy will never come between us, whether or not we are wed." I smiled, grasping his hand.
"Come, I want to show you something." his mouth curled into a smile, the first I'd seen in days, as he pulled me further into the garden.
We passed through bushes and trees and flowers, cutting across paths, until I no longer recognized the area. I'd never taken it upon myself to explore so far into the gardens. After trudging along the paths for a few moments longer, made damp by the mild precipitation that day, we arrived. It was beautiful. Carnations, of every imaginable colour, decorated the outside of the path that led to a fountain. How I'd missed this, I couldn't imagine.
"Anne showed me this place when I was a boy, told me it was her spot. Carnations were her favourite. She loved how they were so different, yet the same. Soon enough, I'd come so often that she just decided to let it be my spot. I'd stopped visiting until..." he paused briefly, "Until I met you."
"Me? But why?" I questioned.
"Believe it or not, my Rose, you troubled my mind often back when we first became acquainted. And I found that when I missed you too strongly but my pride prevented me from visiting you, that I could clear my mind here." he gestured to the bush, "It's an easy place to get lost in thought."
"You know," I began, gesturing to the flowers, "Each colour has it's own meaning."
"Do they?" he smiled.
"I read it in a book a long time ago. They first appeared on earth from the Virgin Mary's tears - they became the symbol of a mother's undying love. Yellow represents sweetness. Red, admiration. And pink..." I paused for a moment, smiling, "As a gift given from one to another, its as if to say, don't forget me."
George's face reflected a sort of appreciation over this information, as though he were finally coming to terms with Anne's passing. Of course, Anne would gift this spot, these flowers, to him, who was almost like her son. Even beyond the grave, she was looking after him, expressing her motherly love. I then took in a deep breath, facing George.
"George..." I began softly, "Dot hasn't got anyone anymore. No one to look after her, to be there for her."
"She has us." he said firmly.
"Of course. But she - I wanted - Perhaps, if you agreed to - Maybe to... Adopt her?" I stammered, turning away, as George's head snapped up, "I mean, not right away, we'd of course giver her time to heal... I just... It's what I would've wanted when I lost Marie. A home. A family."
"Rose." he smiled, "You've such a big heart. It's what I love so much about you. And if Dot would have us, I'd adopt her in a heartbeat." he said, and I smiled brightly at the news.
I turned back to George as I felt his hand close around mine, before slipping a cool piece of metal onto my finger. I looked down to find a simple gold band embedded with thin lines of art. In the centre, was a circular cut spinal gem. I shot George a confused look.
"It was Anne's." he said, "You know, she chose that gem because it has a meaning too."
"It would seem Anne was fond of those," I smiled.
"Indeed. It represents the joy of being alive. She gave it to me the night we announced our engagement. She wanted to be there when I..." his voice wavered, "When I gave it to you. You know, as a young woman, Anne proposed to her husband too."
"She would've." I smiled, grasping his hand.
Then I knew, deep down in the depths of my heart and mind, that everything would be okay. No matter how much we missed Darwin and Anne. Even though there would always be an unfillable void, we would push through it. I loved George, I loved everyone at the castle, and it was that love that would get us passed it.
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