Chaeyoung had been listening to the same song from her phone's playlist for the last hour and had been playing it on the ebony and ivory keys of Jin-ah's vintage 1906 Lester upright piano.
The Orange usually closed at 2 AM, especially during the weekends. The Orange was still reeking of booze, nicotine and the Friday night vibes. And it was unusual for Park Chaeyoung to stay behind when all her crews, her band mates and the usual crowd that would troop in the Orange have all gone home or hop into another bar for another set of reasons to get wasted.
Last night had been a blast. They--her bandmates and her-- have played in front of a jam-packed Orange, singing their songs--some were their own, others were covers of their favorite songs--live. It was one of those moments when Chaeyoung would feel alive and complete. She was on her best elements when she's on stage with her music. And last night was extra special because Lisa was around. It had been a while since Lisa have watched her perform live. It was a rare occassion eversince Lisa have pursued her passion in photography and would usually travel abroad. And it was big deal for Chaeyoung. So big a deal that she pulled all the strings available to make it seamless.
Her bandmates were even teasing her about it, after she kicked Lisa out from the backstage last night. Because they knew that she was overly compulsive about wanting to impress Lisa. And because Lisa had found an alliance with her childish antics with Ji-in and both were teasing her so hard they drove Chaeyoung crazy. Lisa could be a pain in her ass sometimes.
"Ah, now we know why Chaeng is so excited for this night. Her Lalisa is here. Finally!" said Ji-in, their band's bassist and a certified hottie, with her short brown hair and side bangs.
"She's always said that she wants this night to be perfect, didn't she, Ji-in? Now we get it. Lisa's damn hot! Did y'all see how the uni boys are literally salivating at her?" Jin-ah, their keyboardist slash pianist, chimed in. Jin-ah was more reserved than Ji-in, having played the classical piano for competitions almost all her teenage life. But she was not able to contain herself from admiring Lisa's pultrichude. Jin-ah had a long, wavy hair which she would flip and whip whenever she's hyped with the music.
"Ya! Stop it, both of you!" Chaeyoung told her two hot band members. "If Lisa hears about you teasing me about her, it will only make her feel awkward."
"But what if she won't? What if Lisa feels the same way, too? Don't you ever want to know, Chaeyoung-ssi?" asked A-yeon, their drummer and a social media star. A-yeon released her video of her drums cover for Guns N' Roses' Welcome To The Jungle, wearing a lingerie. But A-yeon stayed lowkey after all the ruckus and chose to stick with Chaeyoung and their band instead of going bigtime.
"Lisa is a free soul, A-yeon-ssi. I don't want to compromise her into believing that she feels the same way that I do, just because I do," Chaeyoung answered.
She loved the fact that she knew Lisa through and through, like an open book. Because Lisa, no matter how carefree, spirited and congenial that woman is to other people, was never an open book to everyone. Only to Chaeyoung. It was a privilege that only Chaeyoung was given and enjoying.
"But what about you, Chaeng?" asked Ji-in.
"It's enough for me that she's here tonight. I just hope she'll stay until the end of the set. Lisa can be restless and impatient, you know?" Chaeyoung answered with a smile painted on her beautiful face.
But Lisa never stayed for the end of the set. Chaeyoung saw her walking out in a hurry of the Orange last night. And she, Chaeyoung, haven't heard anything from Lisa since then. Because Lisa left her camera bag, with her camera and cellphone in it, to Chahee.
Chaeyoung was in deep thoughts while playing the piano that she did not notice the presence of another person inside the Orange, who was now standing close behind her and suddenly tapped her shoulder.
Chaeyoung twitched her neck in a hurry, so hard that she thought she heard her bones breaking. Her heart was beating madly and loudly against her chest, she thought it might just burst open anytime.
"Oh my god, Lisa! You startled me!" Chaeyoung said loudly after she recognized Lisa's mischievous face in the dark and quickly took the earplugs off from her both ears, as soon she recognized Lisa's face.
Lisa grinned widely at Chaeyoung but somewhat looked apologetic.
"I'm sorry, chipmunk. But you should've seen the look on your face, though," said Lisa, laughing softly.
"Well, you shouldn't have done that!" Chaeyoung said, clutching her chest, and threw a soft punch on Lisa's arm. Which Lisa have dodged and caught Chaeyoung's hand in mid-air and held it.
"I called your name but you weren't listening. You forgot to lock the door, by the way," said Lisa.
"I was wearing these," Chaeyoung said and gestured the buds of earplugs she was holding and casually tried to pull her hand from Lisa's grip. "And Chahee was the last to leave. She probably forgot to lock the door."
"Hmm. I figured," Lisa said sleepily. "Why are you still here, chipmunk? It's almost four already."
"I was just, uh...," Chaeyoung started. "What are you doing here?"
"I came back to get my things," Lisa replied. "Why are you still here?"
"Well..." Chaeyoung started, but Lisa cut her off.
"Oh, shit! Did you wait for me, Park Chaeyoung?" asked Lisa with a wide eye.
"Aren't you coming?" Chahee asked Chaeng as she was heading towards the exit. "Everyone's left already."
"You go ahead, Chahee-ssi. I just need to..."
"Don't tell me you're going to wait for Lisa to come back here, Chaeng?"
"She told you to tell me she'll come back, didn't she?"
"Yes. But what if Lisa decides to go straight home to her place? Or your place?"
"Then I'll have to stay here to find it out, myself. Don't you think?"
"Look, Chaeng. I know you're my boss, but we've been friends before everything else--,"
"I know what you're going to say, Chahee-ssi. Jin-ah, Ji-in and A-yeon have already said whatever you have in your mind right now. The answer is no. I will not tell Lisa about whatever feelings I have for her," Chaeyoung butted in. "She doesn't need to know."
"Why, though? You and Lisa have been the best of friends since forever. Surely--,"
"Exactly the point, Chahee. Lisa's my bestest friend in the world. I cannot lose her."
"Jesus, Park Chaeyoung! You got it pretty bad for Lisa, huh?" Chahee said, shaking her head. "Well, that girl should end up with someone like you, anyway."
"Like me what, Chahee?"
"Like you who is willing to wait for her."
Chaeyoung laughed softly and shook her head to Lisa.
"Of course, not. Why would I even wait for you, silly? You're a big girl now," she said and returned her attention to the black and white keys of the vintage piano.
"Good! Because I don't want you to stay up late and sacrifice your sleep for me, Park Chaeyoung," Lisa said.
"I can't promise you that, shutterbug," said Chaeyoung, turning all serious now. "I worry about you a lot because you can be careless sometimes. You know that."
"Thank you but I'm not being extra careless nowadays, though. So you can rest your mind. Why are you still here at this hour if you weren't waiting for me, then?" Lisa asked and then nudged Chaeyoung to scoot a little because she wanted to sit next to Chaeyoung in front of the piano.
"I was just, uh, rehearsing with a particular song. I want to perform it on the next open mic," Chaeyoung answered.
"At 4 AM? Aren't you even tired from last night?" Lisa asked.
"Most artists come alive when everyone else are sleeping, Lalisa. We're wired like this. Besides, sleep is for the weak," Chaeyoung said with a smirk. "And you reek of alcohol, by the way. I hate this smell on you," she added, crinkling her nose.
Lisa knew something was bothering the usually peaceful mind of Chaeyoung. Because it was obvious to Lisa that Chaeyoung was already tired and sleepy. And Lisa knew that Chaeyoung never stayed awake until four in the morning, unless something was up. But she did not want to press the issue any further. Because Chaeyoung would never spill it to her, unless Chaeyoung would want to.
"I had a few drinks. It's your fault, though. You told Chahee to serve me alcohol-free drinks. So I went somewhere else to get myself a drink," Lisa answered, pouting her lips like a sulky little girl. "What's the title of the song, by the way? The one you were playing before I came in?" asked Lisa, randomly pressing the keys with her long fingers.
She'd never learned to play the piano unlike Chaeyoung. They took piano lessons together when they were little. Chaeyoung was praised by their teacher and was told to be a "natural" while she, Lisa, took extra classes only to be told that she should try something else because she's a hopeless case.
"It's called 'Shiver' by Coldplay," Chaeyoung answered and started pressing the keys on the piano and sang it for Lisa to hear.
So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention, do you
I know you don't listen to me
Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you
Chaeyoung played the notes in legato and lowered the tempo in half-step. Her fingers were dancing gracefully above the keys, like little ballerinas on their recital stage. Her voice, so melodic and emotional echoed across the empty bar.
And it's you I see, but you don't see me
And it's you I hear so loud and clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you
Lisa dropped her head, eyes closed, and rested it on Chaeyoung's shoulder. Her long arms automatically snaked around Chaeyoung's waist. Like how she always would whenever she would sit beside Chaeyoung in front of a piano. It was her safe haven.
I'll always be waiting for you
So you know how much I need you
But you never see me, do you
Chaeyoung ended the song with the melody in lento. And Lisa thought she heard Chaeyoung released a long sigh after. Chaeyoung would never sigh after a performance.
"That's a sad song," Lisa commented afterwards.
"But it's beautiful, isn't it? I've always wanted to do a piano cover for that," Chaeyoung responded.
"Why are you singing a sad song at four in the morning, chipmunk?" asked Lisa curiously. "What bothers you?"
You.
"Nothing. Stop worrying about me too much, shutterbug. I can handle myself," answered Chaeyoung. "So, where have you been? I saw you walking out from here last night," Chaeyoung asked casually, as if it did not hurt her. As if she wasn't mad at Lisa because of it.
"Dongdaemun," answered Lisa after a dragging yawn. She was still clinging to Chaeyoung like a baby.
"Dongdaemun?" Chaeyoung repeated with her eyes widened. "But that's too far from here! What were you doing in Dongdaemun?"
Lisa suddenly came out from her stupor and grinned and looked excited. She even shifted her position and faced Chaeyoung.
"You won't believe what I'm about to tell you, chipmunk," she said, looking giddy, wiggling her brows.
"What is it?" Chaeyoung asked. Curiosity was on her voice.
"I finally found her, Chaeyoung-a! Can you believe that?" Lisa said, laughing. Her laughter was echoing through the sleepy walls of the Orange.
"Who?" Chaeyoung asked.
"Jennie!" Lisa said, which caused Chaeyoung's brows to furrowed more, because who on earth was Jennie?
"And Jennie is...?"
"The woman from The Era, remember? She was here last night. She walked away when she saw me, though. Which was weird. So I ran after her. We ended up in a pocha in Dongdaemun," Lisa said breathlessly.
"You chase her all the way to Dongdaemun?" Chaeyoung asked.
"No, silly," Lisa responded with a laugh. "I chased her outside, in the parking lot. She invited me for a ride and we ended up in Dongdaemun because I was hungry. Can you believe she hasn't been to a pocha before? Crazy chaebol culture!"
"So, what happened next?"
"Nothing extraordinary. We just ate and had a few bottles of soju, which she called nasty at first, by the way. Like, who would ever call soju nasty?" Lisa snorted. "And then we talked about random things. She dropped me off in here because I fell asleep in the car. Her car smells delicious, by the way. Strawberry and spring."
"I see. Tell me you had fun," Chaeyoung said.
"I did!" Lisa said radiantly at four in the morning. "How about you, chipmunk? How was the show with your band? Did I miss anything?"
"Other than you forgot to fulfill your promise to watch me perform until the end of the set, no. Nothing spectacular happened after you left, Lisa," Chaeyoung have blurted out the words before she could stop herself.
But Chaeyoung really couldn't take it anymore. She have all the right reasons to get hurt, haven't she? Plus, alright. She was jealous. Which she shouldn't really feel because: 1) She promised herself she would never ever feel that way towards and because of Lisa, because 2) Lisa was her bestfriend. Therefore, 3) what-, when-, who-, wherever Lisa is happy, she would totally support it. Even if it will make her anything but happy.
"Chaeyoung-ssi..." Lisa started. Gone was the radiant beam on her beautiful face.
Chaeyoung could hear the pain and shock in Lisa's voice. Which served Lisa right for ditching her last night and broke yet another promise just to chase somebody else, Chaeyoung thought scathingly. Right?
It was the first time that she's ever confronted Lisa about her ways, about how Lisa was hurting her, even though it was unintentional. Because it was always unintentional, as far as Lisa was concerned. But the look on Lisa's face told Chaeyoung that it was a mistake to confront Lisa about it.
Lisa looked sad, deflated and regretful. She looked hurt. Chaeyoung realized she shouldn't have said those words to get even. Because it only made her feel worse, more than anything.
Chaeyoung knew Lisa did not really intend to leave the bar last night. She knew that Lisa could be impulsive sometimes, but she's never left Chaeyoung in the middle of a performance, ever. But last night was the first and it was pretty painful for Chaeyoung to bear. Especially now that she finally knew the reason behind it. But Chaeyoung knew that she shouldn't take it against Lisa, even if it was hurting her. Because Lisa wasn't aware of it. Lisa wasn't aware that she, Park Chaeyoung, have been secretly in love with Lisa since forever.
Chaeyoung sighed. So much for this unrequitted love. She thought bitterly.
"No, don't apologize, Lis. It's okay," Chaeyoung said before Lisa could say the words. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry," said Chaeyoung.
Lisa bowed her head and shook it weakly.
"No, Chaeyoung. You were right. I'm a bad friend," she said. She sounded like she was about to cry. It broke Chaeyoung's heart into pieces.
"No, you're not. Don't say that. I'm just tired. We've been preparing for this week's set and I guess it's already taking it's toll on me. I'm sorry for lashing it out on you, Lisa," Chaeyoung said and wrapped her arms around Lisa's shoulders.
"Doesn't change the fact that I broke a promise, though," said Lisa.
"You always do. What's new?" Chaeyoung said, smirking.
"Tell me what I should do to make it up to you, chipmunk-nim. I'll do literally anything!"
Fall in love with me.
"Okay, first: Stop calling me chipmunk-nim. Being called a chipmunk is already bad enough. Stop adding a suffix to it," said Chaeyoung sternly.
"Chipmunks are cute, though," Lisa interrupted.
Second: Please fall in love with me.
"Second: Don't ever make me wait for you until four in the morning again, Lisa. Ever! I'm serious!" said Chaeyoung. "Or if you do, at least give me a call or something. So I wouldn't be worried sick thinking where you might be."
"But you said you did not wait for me? I didn't want you to wait for me, Chaeyoung-a. You should have gone straight home to your bed. You love your bed," Lisa said.
Not as much as I love you, you clueless idiot.
"Then you shouldn't have told Chahee that you'll 'be back later', should you?" Chaeyoung retorted.
"Fine. It was my fault. This is all my fault," Lisa said, pouting.
"And third, walk me home, shutterbug. I deserve that from you after what you did. Please?" Chaeyoung said, smiling.
Lisa smiled back. And then she grinned because she knew she was already forgiven.
"Can I just go home with you? Please? I'll sleep in the living room. And I won't puke at your carpet," Lisa said, still grinning widely.
Chaeyoung loved it when Lisa would smile to her like that. She would do anything to see Lisa grinning like a happy child on a birthday. It was making her heart flutter. Lisa had the ability to make her heart flutter madly without trying.
"Fine. But don't snore loudly," said Chaeyoung, laughing. She just couldn't stay mad at Lisa. The woman was irresistably cute.
"Excuse me? I don't snore. How dare you?" Lisa defended herself.
"Of course, you do. You sound like a hippo when you snore," teased Chaeyoung.
Lisa laughed and grabbed Chaeyoung closer for a hug.
"Chaeyoung-a, you know that I love you, right? You will always be my bestfriend in the universe and nothing will ever change that," said Lisa.
Chaeyoung finally allowed the tears that she had been containing all night to fall down one by one. She did not care if Lisa will think of her as a softie and a crybaby.
She was crying for her heart. She was sobbing for her unrequitted love.
Bestfriend.
Ten letters.
One word.
That's all she'll ever be to Lisa.
"I know. I love you, too, Lis," she whispered against Lisa's leather jacket as she sniffed the strawberry and spring scent that Lisa was talking about a while ago. "Always do."