Do you guys know the feeling of you aren't doing right? Well that's what I'm feeling right now.
I feel like as if I'm living a fantasy where everything is a game and I can't make up my mind. It feels like I'm telling people one thing and I'm doing another. It make me wonder if what I'm doing is for the benefit of the good for myself and other.
This so conflicting for me right now. There's one guy who is trying to love me but I'm not sure of what I want from that person. And a another guy that loves me and I do but I love him but I don't want I love him as. Also I don't practice religion like my family does and believe in the god they do but I never told them that I'm really agnostic if not potentially atheist. Honestly I don't know god exist or not but I don't want to believe in god and find out that he isn't real or don't believe in him and found out he exist.
I'm bisexual and I am comfortable with being that sexuality because that's what I am. I've told my mom this but she doesn't think that I'm bisexual because she thinks I'm desperate to have someone love me. But that is true and not true at the same time. What is true is that I yes I really want someone to love me as much as I love them regardless in what way that is. But what is not true that I'm bisexual because I want attention and so desperate for love.
So I ask myself am I'm living right? Because internally feel as I'm guilty. I have gotten my karma if I haven't already. I just want live my best life and not worry so much about it and do right myself and others. Not spend so much time pleasing others that I forget to do things to help take care myself and get my life together. I know I haven't been a good friend or lover to the people on this app but if I have did anyone wrong please know from the bottom of my heart I'm sorry and please forgive me even if I don't deserve it. And I need to forgive myself and move forward and not spend so much time moving back.
So I asking this question again am I living right?