"he doesn't.. do much.."
namjoon glanced over at seokjin from where he was leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. the eldest member looked back at him from where he was stood a few feet behind their leader, peering inquisitively over his shoulder. "yeah.." he murmured.
the apartment was eerily quiet without yoongi around. the little was usually a breath of life into a boring day, a giggle in the hallway, a burst of song in the bathtub. now that he was absent, the whole apartment felt.. dull.
that wasn't to say jihoon wasn't a good little to care for, he just.. wasn't what either of them had expected; quiet, observant, looking constantly pensive and like there was something on his mind that he wasn't saying, either in fear or in general disinterest.
something in the two caregiver's told them it was the latter.
the little was sat cross-legged on the floor, his hands fumbling with a fistful of lego blocks on the floor. he'd been playing with them for a while now, building them up as much as he could, dismantling them, building something else, repeat. the television was playing on a random kid's channel in the background, but jihoon wasn't paying attention to the lively characters dancing across the screen.
namjoon looked back at his boyfriend, who'd gone to sit back at the table. he was writing something down in a tattered notebook- probably lyrics to show to yoongi when he returned home. they were fast approaching comeback time, and as much as he hated to admit it, his little boy was going to have to become his adult self again for quite a while now that they were back on schedule.
seokjin glanced up, tossing his pencil down after he'd scribbled out and wrote the same thing a few times, probably feeling frustrated. "he's not very high maintenance at all," he remarked, peeking over the breakfast bar into the living room area. jihoon hadn't moved.
the leader slid himself into the seat across from seokjin, leaving himself in a position where he could still keep an eye on the little, but also in a place where he could comfortably converse with his stressed-out looking hyung.
"mhm.. what's on your mind?"
seokjin quirked a brow at namjoon. he was biting his nails, something he always did when there was something on his mind. unlike jihoon, who seemed to keep things inside just because he didn't care enough to share them, the eldest often wore his heart on his sleeve, and it was easy to tell that he was different. he kept things in to avoid being judged.
"i just.." he began to speak, ready to even slightly let onto the fact that he was just feeling apprehensive about their comeback plus little yoongi and how that was going to turn out. however, seokjin's words were quickly interrupted by the sound of the front door busting open, a loud shout echoing around the apartment.
jihoon looked up at the intruder, his brows quirked. taehyung stood there, his arm over jungkook's shoulder who had flushed cheeks and seemed to be quite out of breath. "i won!" the elder was exclaiming, large hand curled into a fist and punching at the air. jungkook slung his arm off. "shut up- hey, who are you?"
the two bangtan maknaes stopped.. whatever they'd been doing, in favour of inspecting the small human sitting on the floor. for a split second, they both thought it was yoongi, but then looked closer, and.. still thought it was yoongi.
there was just something.. off.
"lee jihoon, seventeen," seokjin said, appearing in the kitchen doorway. he had his arms crossed. "he and yoongi played a nice little trick on us today at the park. they swapped. so he's gonna stay here with us tonight," he explained, laughing quietly at the incredulous looks on jungkook and taehyung's faces.
the elder of the two crouched down, ruffling jihoon's hair. it earned him a little glare, though, which was much unlike the happy giggle he usually got out of yoongi. "alright, sorry," he apologised, holding his hands up in defence.
jihoon continued playing with his lego. no fucks given.
"he'll sleep in your room, jungkook-ah," their eldest said, nodding to their youngest, who looked appalled at the idea of sharing a room. seokjin furrowed his brows. "hey, be nice. he's a good kid. it's not the end of the world. don't look so disgusted."
but that's not why jungkook was disgusted. he couldn't care less about how good a kid jihoon was.
he was going to be in his room.. at.. at night..
jungkook had gotten into the habit, over the last little while, of allowing himself to slip as soon as everyone else was definitely in their rooms. ever since he'd stolen that pacifier from yoongi - he's very sorry for that, but.. - he's found it hard to sleep without it. during the day naps are almost impossible unless he's at least sucking his thumb, but he can't be caught doing that.
when night time rolled around, he was free to do as he pleased. he could sit on his bed, staring at his laptop screen as it played cartoons, cuddling his bunny and sucking on a pacifier. it was his only release, and he loved it. he was so grateful for it.
things had been stressful lately with the upcoming album and stuff, and jungkook found himself needing those late night regressions more than anything. if he didn't have them then, he often tended to accidentally slip into his headspace throughout the next day instead.
he really couldn't afford that.
by then, seokjin had retreated to the kitchen, taehyung to his room, leaving jungkook alone in the living room with jihoon at his feet. the maknae stared down at the little, feeling his stomach twist with the most unsettling kind of sickness, before he too turned on his heel and went to lock himself in the bathroom for a while.
after all, the best place to cry was in the shower.
— — —
dinner time was unusually quiet too.
what was wrong with this kid?
jihoon ate like any normal adult, albeit he was a bit sloppy with a pair of chopsticks. the problem was solved as soon as seokjin handed him a spoon. it was like there was no little there at all. how strange..
jungkook didn't show up to dinner. he wasn't hungry, at least that's what he'd told namjoon when the leader had come looking for him. nobody thought much of it. perhaps he'd eaten when he and taehyung were out.
"jihoon-ah, would you like some apple juice?" seokjin asked, pointing to the jug of juice that sat in the middle of the table alongside an extra bowl of fried rice and another smaller jug filled with curry sauce. the little looked up from where he was munching happily on a strip of salted chilli chicken, and nodded his head. "yes, please."
seokjin could probably count on one hand how many words this kid had said all day.
still, he didn't comment. he got up from where he was sitting, going to the cupboard where they kept all of yoongi's cups. he didn't think jihoon would be too appreciative of the bottle that yoongi was usually given, and a lot of his sippy cups were quite babyish.. he searched for some time, settling eventually on an orange cup that had a lid and a plastic straw poking out of the top. something more suited to jihoon's little age, he thought, and he was right.
the little thanked him, sipping happily at his apple juice once it was handed to him. he got back to eating once he was about a third of the way in, and weirdly enough.. none of it ended up on his lap?
"i hope yoongi's alright," jimin said, wiping his mouth with a napkin he had folded next to him. until then, it had been an unspoken truth that they were all worried about their little boy. yoongi was younger than the rest, at least, in his head. all he'd ever known was his daddy, his appa, his home. he probably hadn't really thought it through before temporarily swapping lives with jihoon.
namjoon saw the pang of sadness that flickered across seokjin's eyes at the mention of yoongi, squeezing his thigh gently under the table. "i'm sure he's okay. jeonghan and seungcheol take care of five littles, they can handle our little guy no problem."
nobody said a word about yoongi after that.
dinner finished barely five minutes later, seokjin, jimin and hoseok going to clean the dishes, taehyung heading off to bother jungkook, namjoon.. deciding to entertain jihoon. the little was starting to look kind of.. bored, honestly. he was content just playing around with his lego, but there was less enthusiasm in his building.
namjoon was going to fix that.
"hey, jihoon-ah," he began, sitting down in front of the little. said little looked up to meet his gaze, his lips forming a little 'o' shape. namjoon smiled slightly. yoongi made that face a lot, too. "would you like to do something else? you must be getting bored."
truthfully, namjoon wasn't sure what else there was to do. yoongi was more of the kind of kid that liked to cuddle. he only played when someone was there to play with him, and that was rare. everyone was usually busy around here, and when they weren't? well.. he cuddled.
you get it?
jihoon came from a big group, surely he was used to the constant excitement that came along with being around four other littles. even though he would only be here for a day, namjoon still wanted to make his time here as comfortable and interesting as he could.
the little continued to stare at him, one small hand curled around a red, two by two lego brick, the other about to pick up a character from where he lay on the floor, one arm only. he seemed to think for a few moments, and he hesitated a few times. that combined with how he always looked like he was holding something in showed namjoon that the other littles were probably a lot more rowdy than him. he was used to not being the centre of attention.
"like what?" jihoon finally asked, dropping his lego piece and letting his hands rest in his lap instead. he thought for a few more seconds, so namjoon didn't offer any ideas yet. he would let him come up with something on his own-
"drawing!"
drawing it was.
once seokjin and hoseok had the kitchen cleared up, namjoon took jihoon to help him gather up what they'd need. yoongi had a surplus of things to colour with tucked away in his room, so they went rooting through that for the best of the best, returning to the kitchen once the highest quality crayons had been found.
jungkook was sitting at the kitchen table when they got back, looking absolutely exhausted. seokjin was staring on at the maknae with a sympathetic expression on his face. "kookie's not feeling great," he said. sometimes, how the hyungs talked about him made jungkook feel like they knew he was a little. he knew they didn't, so he figured it was just one of those privileges of.. y'know, being the maknae.
namjoon frowned, coming over to feel jungkook's forehead. "you're quite hot," he admitted. "d'you wanna colour with us? taehyung and jimin are watching a movie and i think hoseok's gone to the studio. this might be a nice, relaxing thing to do?" he suggested, setting out the paper and tub of crayons on the table.
jungkook tried to ignore how intently jihoon was staring at him, and just nodded his head. "okay."
and so they did.
namjoon slid a few sheets of paper over to the maknae, handing some to jihoon and taking a couple for himself, too. "i'm gonna draw my favourite animal," jihoon said, his tongue poking out of his mouth a little as he began to draw a little brown circle. namjoon watched him fondly, and the expression on his face made jungkook's heart ache. he looked at yoongi like that, too.
he never looked at jungkook like that.
"what's your favourite animal?" the leader inquired, starting to work on his own drawing; what looked like a flower. jihoon giggled. "it's a secret!"
nobody asked what jungkook was going to draw.
he stared down at his page, then to the tub of crayons. the red one caught his eye, ending up in his hand before he had time to consider what he was even going to do with it. maybe.. a house? yes. a house.
all three worked in relative silence on their pictures - jihoon on his favourite animal, which was beginning to look like a dog, namjoon on his flower, jungkook on his house. things were good.
i think i need yellow, said the maknae to himself. he reached over to the tub to grab the yellow crayon, but just as his fingers were curling around it, jihoon's were, too.
"i want yellow!" the little whined, a pout tugging at his lips as he tried to pull it away. jungkook furrowed his brows, and before he could stop himself, he was snatching the crayon back to himself. "i- i got it first!" he snapped.
everyone fell silent.
namjoon looked up at the maknae, looking confused. he glanced between them, seeing jihoon's outstretched hand and teary eyes, seeing jungkook's glare and his protective hold on the crayon.
"for crying out loud, jungkook, don't be so rude. you're not a child," he scolded, his voice stern and scary. jungkook pulled himself away from his little.. outburst.. and looked up at his hyung, who did not look pleased. he felt worry and panic start to rise up in his chest, his hands getting shaky. again, before he could stop himself, he was acting out again.
jungkook stood to his feet, pushing his chair out so hard that it hit the wall. he snapped the crayon in half and threw it down onto the table. "i- i don't want to colour anymore!" he exclaimed, feeling tears building up in his eyes. before he could let them slip, though, he ran off to his room and slammed the door as hard as he could.
you're not a child, you're not a child, you're not a child..
jungkook couldn't help but burst into tears. his hands were trembling, his knees felt genuinely weak. he collapsed onto the bed, crawling up towards the top so he could wrap his arms around his stuffed bunny and squeeze all of the comfort out of her little, fluffy body.
the maknae buried his face in his pillow, only just muffling a loud sob that escaped the back of his throat and racked through his whole body, leaving his throat scratchy and his head sore.
meanwhile, back in the kitchen, it was like nothing had happened.
jihoon was back to colouring, just content that he had a yellow crayon now. namjoon had taken a break to sip at a mug of coffee. seokjin didn't really know what to think.
"what was that all about?" the eldest questioned, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the counter. namjoon shook his head, not providing an answer other than that.
he felt a bit bad for snapping at jungkook like that, especially since the younger had already not been feeling too great. perhaps he was just stressed? tired? worn out? they were all the same, really. actually, maybe he was-
namjoon stopped himself mid-thought, and he almost dropped his mug of coffee when a certain scenario from quite some time ago flashed through his mind.
jeon jungkook, curled up in his bed, hugging a stuffie and sucking a pacifier.
oh fuck.
— — —
my heart aches for jungkook i hate putting him through this :(
double update bc i feel bad for leaving for so long!! i knew this chapter would be easier to write :D
love u!!
- 마이