{I do not own Divergent, Insurgent, or Allegiant. I am not Veronica Roth, nor am I pretending to be Veronica Roth.}
I wake up to a start.
Today will shape the rest of my life. I think about what to wear and realize that, unlike other factions, the last day of initiation won't be a celebration until the end.
So I pull on regular black jeans and a shirt and run out the doors, hearing the familiar sound of my sneakers slapping the stone floors.
I make my way to the dining hall and slide into the back of the line, grabbing my plate.
"Hey, you," Uriah's warm breath brushes my ear.
"What's new?" I say, spinning around and kissing his cheek as casually as I can.
"Oh, they despise us," he says, shrugging.
I nod, filling my plate.
"Hey, they'll come around. It's not fair of them to be mad," he says, grabbing a muffin and sliding into a seat.
"Well no," I say, sitting across from him.
He's right, it's not fair. And it's cruel of Lynn to be this way to me for whatever feelings she has for Marlene.
-
I walk to the room outside the test area. Everyone will be watching. At least they won't see my fears itself, just me freaking out over invisible spiders and what not.
All the seats are full, so I just stand around waiting with the others.
"Lily!" Uriah yells, and I spin around.
He pats his lap.
"You're silly," I say, walking over and kissing his cheek.
"What IS this sticky substance," he yells loudly, wiping my Chapstick off.
Some others trickle in, their faces nervous and pale.
"Sorry Tris, seat's taken!" I hear him yell, and before I know it he's pulled me atop his lap.
Tris giggles and I watch relief wash over her face. I wave at her, confused, and hoping my cheeks aren't as pink as they feel.
-
"Lilian Walker?"
"Lilian, huh?" Uriah says, squeezing my hand. "Good luck."
I nod and clear my throat, getting up and walking toward Four.
"It's alright," he says, maybe noticing my anxiety. "Just a stimulation."
I nod and barely notice when he puts the needle in my neck.
-
As expected, I'm in the plastic bag. I hear the voices, casual, but loud enough to be nearby.
"Help!" I screech, as loud as I can.
"Help, please help me!"
I shouldn't yell, it wastes my breath.
"Please, help," I wheeze, becoming lightheaded.
I cough and cough, trying to catch my breath, but the air is thick and heavy.
"I can't breath," I croak, now suffocating. I grab my throat, shaking with fear, and punch the bag with my free hand.
My hand goes limp, as if using any strength at all makes me tired. My breaths become quicker, shorter, until I fall back.
Now I'm in the initiate dorm, and Edward is bleeding, just like how it really happened. I feel like I can smell the blood, and then my mind gets the best of me. I can almost.. Taste it.
That's impossible, no. I can't even smell it.
I try to take deep breaths, but I'm shaking. I want to help him, I want to help him so bad.
I take a step toward him.
"It's okay, Edward," I force out. His eye squirts blood and it hits my cheek.
I scream and become dizzy.
I think I say Edward's name before I pass out.
Now I'm in a simple, white setting, with a white ceiling and white floor, with nothing for miles.
A scorpion, however, is right behind me.
I scream a little, jumping back. It's huge, the size of my foot.
Arachnophobia strikes again.
It crawls toward me, and it's fast, faster than any arachnid could be in reality. It touches my foot, sending pain up my leg.
I make a sound that wasn't quite anticipated or thought through, it just hurt too bad to think. I feel my leg start to burn, as if there's fire making it's way up my leg.
"Poison," I mutter, screaming in pain again, "it's poisonous."
I shake my leg, which sends the pain up my torso.
The scorpion is gone, I just feel the poison kicking in now.
I scream, trying to fight the pain and failing. At some point I fall to my knees, the corners of my vision darkening.
If I let go, it will be over. So I fall back.
It's dark now. Pitch black dark, and I can't see a thing.
I try to touch things around me, but there are none. I feel blind.
I hear a loud, bloodcurdling scream, not sure if it belongs to me or not. I don't think it does.
Voices. I hear voices. Too many to hear any words they're saying. They're so.. loud.
I cover my ears, and I think the scream is mine this time. Why is this so terrifying to me? I force myself to breath, removing my hands from my ears.
I whimper, hugging my sides and closing my eyes.
"It's just the dark," I muttered.
"I'm not afraid," I lied.
I'm hanging over the chasm again, the waves crashing just over my calves. I look down and see the water slamming against the rocks.
I struggle to keep my hands on the rail, yet I know what I have to do. I take one last look at my white knuckles before closing my eyes and letting go.
I'm stuck, held down by metal rings around my wrists, ankles, and neck. I feel a gun barrel on my right temple.
Someone I never thought I'd see again walks through the door. It's Ariana.
"Hey, Lily. You're staying in Candor, right?" she asks casually, strolling toward me.
I close my eyes.
"No," I say simply.
"Oh," her eyes widen a little. "So where are you going?"
I brace myself.
"Dauntless."
Pain pierces through my head until it's over.
I'm in the arena we initiates used to fight each other. My eyes search to meet the opponent's.
Myra.
We stare at each other for a long time until Eric clears his throat.
"Well, fight!" He says, sounding bored.
I take a step toward her. Her eyes are glassy, and her face is pale.
I shut my eyes.
"Just do it," she looks at me, and forces a smile. "It's okay."
I close my eyes again, bringing up my fist, and punch. I pretend it's not her, kicking her, trying not to use too much force.
I open my eyes and look at her. She's cowering, letting out occasional sobs.
"No," I say, turning to Eric, looking at the shock on his face. "I'm not doing this. I surrender."
I appear to be in a small metal room. It seems sterile, and it's just big enough for me to move around a little. I'm not claustrophobic or anything, so it seems comfortable enough for the time being. There's a door on my left, and even though I'm against the wall on the opposite side of the room, I can reach the door easily. I grab the cold handle and pull. It doesn't move. I push. It doesn't move.
I put both hands on the handle and plant my feet on the ground, pulling with all my strength. It doesn't even shake.
"No," I say shakily. "No, no, no.."
I slap the door, yelling for help.
I don't know how long I stand there, kicking and slapping the door, not helping the situation at all.
I let out the quietest scream ever and sit in the corner.
"It's okay, it's okay," I tell myself, hugging my knees.
I take deep breaths, rocking back and forth over and over again.
Then it's over.
I'm now in the Dauntless compound, an area near the Pit that I recognize. I hear a loud scream. It belongs to my mother.
"Mom?!" I yell, confused.
I only hear her yell my name.
"MOM?!" I yell again. "Where are you?"
I try to run towards the sound, but I can't quite figure out where it's coming from.
It's in my ears.
"It's okay," I try to coax myself again, placing a sweaty hand on my cheek.
I hear her whimper and cry for me over and over, covering my ears. It does no good. The sound is in my head.
I hear her scream one more time before the setting changes.
Now I appear to be in a jungle-type of area. I hear a deep growl and the growing sound of leaves crunching. A large lion approaches me.
My eyes widen as I back up until my back hits a stone wall. Oh, no.
It comes nearer and nearer.
It reminds me a lot of the vicious dog in the aptitude test. Maybe I could handle it similarly.
I'm not scared of lions in particular, or animals at all. However this terrifies me, and I'm not quite sure why.
A tiny voice in the back of my head, my subconscious, probably, reminds me that this could possibly be just a stimulation.
It feels too real.
But, I muster up all the courage I have, close my eyes, and leap toward the lion.
And that was the end of my fear landscape.
I see the initiates staring at me.
Did I do something wrong?
I take a few shaky breaths before opening the door and walking out.
"That," Four says, patting my shoulder, "was extremely fast."
"What do you mean? That was like, two hours."
He chuckles.
"That's was five minutes and eight point two seconds, kiddo."
"But-"
"It's almost two fears a minute. I'm as shocked as you are. You must be some kind of Dauntless prodigy."
"Dauntless prodigies don't have nine fears," I point out.
He chuckles a little.
"You got me there, I guess."
I laugh and walk where the other initiates sit. My eyes search the crowd.
"Lily," Uriah says, and I turn to him.
His eyes are a little glassy, his face slack.
"Are you oka-"
He only pulled me into a hug.
"I hated to see you like that," he whispered into my hair.
-
I recognize the woman as Jeanine Matthews.
"We just need to put this serum in all of the Dauntless," I hear her telling a few others as she sterilizes my neck.
I decide to just trust the smart lady. I have no reason not to, and much bigger problems.
"May I ask why, ma'am?" I say, simply curious.
"No questions," Max says, his deep voice rushing through my ears. I just shrug.
"Were you the Candor transfer?" Jeanine asks as she opens a black box and reveals a needle.
"Yes," I reply as she pops the needle quickly into my neck.
"Ouch," I mutter, rubbing my neck.
"Sorry, Lily," she smiles a little. "See you soon."
-
I wake up to a start. My mind is foggy. Why am I getting out of bed? I'm not sure, but everyone is.
I feel extremely terrified as I realize that I can't control myself. I must be under some sort of serum. It's really hard to keep my thoughts straight and I can't control my body at all. I'm walking toward the door, in a single file line with the rest of the initiates.
"They can see and hear us, they just don't process it the same way," I hear Max say.
Uh-oh.
"Let's begin."
-
I wake up in the middle of a place I don't recognize. Looking around, I realize it's Abnegation. Why am I here?
I look down and at my feet are cowering Abnegation. Elders, adults, children. All scared.
"Are you okay?!" I ask frantically, crouching to their level. They all flinch.
"It's going to be okay," I say, although I'm not sure it will be.
Uriah. Where is he? Was he under the stimulation too? He must've been.
The first familiar face I see is Christina. She looks confused, and I don't really blame her.
"Christina!" I yell. She looks at me.
"Oh my God," she says, running to me. "I have no idea what happened."
"Me neither."
At the same time we turn and see dozens of dead Abnegation in an alleyway. I gasp, backing away.
"Lily..."
"Let's go, Chris."
But she's not looking down the alleyway. Her gaze is locked on the street corner where a Dauntless lay motionless.
"Is that-"
"WILL!" She screams, as if to wake him up.
"Oh my God," I mumble, closing my eyes.
She yells his name over and over again until she bursts into sobs, falling to her knees. She still occasionally repeats his name.
"Oh, Christina,"
"It's okay," she sniffles, "well, it's not. But we have to move on," she sobs, "and I'll deal with it later."
I take her hand and pull her up.
"Where should we go..?"
"I don't know."
-
We're sitting on the cement, near the border of Abnegation. I lean against a building.
"So let's figure this out," she says.
"Well, obviously, the Dauntless attacked the Abnegation," I say, thinking. "But why?"
"Well, maybe it wasn't just the Dauntless, cause the Dauntless don't have a reason," she says.
"The Erudite are the only ones that do, and they-"
"Wait," she says, "who put your serum in your neck last night?"
"Jeanine Matthews," I reply.
We look at each other.
"Oh, man," she says.
"So we're factionless?" I ask, scared.
"I don't know. Where do we go?" She asks. And frankly, I don't know. I don't know where to go, or what to do, or how to handle this at all.
"I suppose we could go to Amity," I mutter.
"They won't want to get involved," she says, and I know she's right.
"Well, there's only one faction left."
-
{it's a short chapter. should I continue this story? it doesn't have very many reads. I'm working on a teen fiction romance right now, but I don't know if I'll post it. anyways, ta-ta for now bæs.}