sometimes, i feel so full of emotion i feel like i'm going to explode
make it stop
send it away
i don't want to feel anymore
feeling hurts
hurts like an ache buried deep in my bones that i can't dig out
and i have no outlet to remove this toxin
this chemical in my brain that makes me feel
i would rather feel nothing
than feel like this
other times, i feel so disgustingly empty i search for something to make me feel
i look to words to inspire me
i look to movies to make me cry
i look to songs to make me feel related to something
i look to photography to make me seek beauty in the world
numb makes me feel like life is pointless
and it's not
yet, somehow, a lack of dopamine makes me believe it so
i would rather feel everything
than feel like this