Chapter 63
Amy's POV
I turn around slowly looking up at him. My heart felt like it just skipped a few beats as my eyes locked with his. He looked different. Exhausted. There was almost a sadness behind his eyes as I looked into them. It was the first time I had seen him since that day. I thought when I saw him I would want to scream at him and be angry but I wasn't. I didn't know what to say. I felt so much emotion towards him but yet I just went blank when I saw him.
Despite everything, the one thing I did feel when I looked at him was- I felt my self relax almost. I felt calm as he stood in front of me despite all the thoughts running round my head. Part of me just wanted to cry into his chest but another part of me wanted to get as far away from his as possible. I knew what the right thing to do was.
"Amy can we talk-"
"No thank you Harry" I turn away from him and I see Eva smile at me sympathetically. I feel him grab my wrist stopping me. I spin round seeing Zac stare at the two of us skeptically.
"Wait- I tried calling you and texting you, did you get them?" Harry asks.
"I got them" I say sternly.
"Oh" He sighs as I pull my wrist from his grasp. I loss of contact made the pit in my stomach deepen. But I knew it wasn't right.
"Amy- come on" Eva touches my shoulder as I realise me and Harry were just staring at each other. I felt like we were communicating with no words.
"So your just going to ignore me?" He asks ignoring Eva. I could see the hurt behind his eyes but I couldn't help but not empathise with this. I turn away from him causing him to stop me.
"Okay wait- I'm so sorry-" He says quickly but I look to him sighing.
"I've had a really nice night, Harry I don't want you to ruin that for me" I sigh and I see his facial expression drop.
"Your right- I'm sorry..." he sighs as his roam my face before he shakes his head. He looks to the floor before walking past me towards the house. I stand there as his shoulder brushes mine making me sigh as he leaves.
"Hey..." Zac puts his hand on my shoulder but I can't help but shut my eyes taking a deep breath as I debate what just happened.
"You did the right thing" he says and I turn around slowly.
"Did I?" I whisper.
"Course you did! Did you see his face? He was devastated" Eva says and I nod. He was devastated. But for some reason I wasn't happy about it. I know he deserved it but I could help but question my own actions towards him.
"I know..." I sigh as I feel my eyes start to tear up. I could see Harry talking to his friends literally a few feet away. He glances over at me and I quickly look away.
"What's wrong?" Eva asks as I feel myself begin to panic. I could feel myself getting worked up.
"I don't know..." I sigh as I let a single tear fall.
"Everything!" I sigh as I shake my head raising my voice a little.
"Everything is just so wrong..." I add as I feel the tears start to fall. I should never have come here. I don't know what I was thinking.
"Hey-"
"No! I'm sick of people trying to be nice to me, because you all feel sorry for me!-" I yell at them both as I take a step back from them as they look at me sympathetically.
"That's not true-" Zac tries to say but I shake my head cutting him off.
"It is true! You all are tip toeing around me like I'm gonna break into million pieces at any given second! Well guess what? I'm already in a million pieces! I can't be any more broken then I already am!" I sigh as I wipe my angry tears from my cheeks.
"So Just stop! Stop being so nice to me and pretending that you care when you don't! You don't know what I'm going through, you don't understand! Nobody understands!" I yell at them, I look up to see Harry looking over as I kick up a fuss.
"We are trying to help-" Eva says and I laugh in disbelief.
"I didn't ask for your help!" I yell at her.
"Woah what's going on-" Harry says as he walks slowly over to us.
"Gosh you have such good timing don't you?" I laugh in disbelief as I shake my head at Harry's perfect timing.
"Harry leave it bro-" Zac stops him as Harry now stands in between Eva and Zac looking at us in confusion.
"Amy I was just trying to help you, I didn't mean to treat you differently-" Eva tried to say but I cut her off.
"But you are! All of you are! So what my boyfriend cheated on me? I'm fine!" I yell at them. I could feel Harry's stare on me as I cried my angry tears.
"I'm fine..." I sigh as I wipe the tears with my sleeve trying to compose myself.
"Okay? So just leave me alone" I say as I move past them heading towards the house. I wipe my cheeks probably smearing my make up but I didn't cares
"Your not fine!" I hear Harry say to me causing me to stop dead in my tracks. I could see all his friends looking at us but also other random people were now watching too.
"I'm not fine! So I can't imagine how you feel" he sighs and I feel him get closer to me. I turn around slowly seeing him about a foot or so away from me as he moves away from Zac and Eva who stood beside him.
"No one expects you to be fine after what I did- I know that" he sighs shaking his head at himself.
"I just- this is my fault- I'm leaving anyway, you can stay I'm sorry for fucking everything I swear-" he says and I sigh looking away from him.
"I never meant for this to happen and I know you don't believe me but it's true. I don't expect you to forgive me but that doesn't change how I feel about you" He says and I look up at him as his eyes catch mine.
"It never will even if you hate me" he whispers to me before looking down at his feet.
"I'm sorry" he adds. He pauses for a second just looking at me before brushing past me.
"I don't hate you" I say with my back to him. I turn around seeing him now facing me.
"I could never hate you" I whisper. He looked shocked but also like wheels were turning in his mind- thoughts being processed as I spoke.
"I just hate what you did" I add before I walk past him leaving him stood there.
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After I left the party I went straight home. I couldn't take anymore bullshit there. My confrontation with Harry was enough. I had mixed emotions now I had seen him. I thought I would feel different but I didn't. I felt like something wasn't right between us. I felt like there was things left unsaid. But at the same time I had nothing to say to him. I couldn't forget what he did, and by this point I was not about to forgive him either. But that didn't mean that my feelings for him were just gonna disappear. Unless I pushed them away. I didn't want to things to end with me and Harry but I felt like he gave me no choice by doing what he did.
"Can I come in?" I hear Zac say as he knocks on my bedroom door.
"Yeah" I call from the other side as I lay on my bed scrolling through my phone. I was looking at messages from Harry. I know sad right?
From Harry- Why aren't you answer my calls?
From Harry- Don't tell me you blocked my number
From Harry- Baby please, I need to talk to you. I'm sorry. I just need to see you.
From Harry- I know you don't want to hear from me. I get it. I'm sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me. I wouldn't forgive me. But I do love you. Even if you don't want me right now, I'll wait. As long as it takes.
From Harry- Please ignore my last call, I was drunk.
I sigh deleting the messages quickly.
"Are you okay?" He asks as he closes the door behind him. I didn't expect Zac to be so sweet to me tonight. He was so thoughtful and caring even respecting his friendship with Harry by not over stepping the boundary.
"I'm fine" I lie not even looking at him.
"You might be a good kisser but you are a shit liar" he says laughing lightly causing me to throw a pillow at him for his snide comment as I try not to laugh.
"Why are here?" I roll my eyes as I lie back down on the bed causing him to flip me off.
"Well you ran off so I thought I'd come check on you" he shrugs as he stands awkwardly at the end of the bed.
"I can leave if you want" he says and I shake my head.
"No! Course not!" I say to him causing him to smile at me.
"Can I sit?" He asks I nod.
"Will Becca not be pissed at you for being here?" I ask him as he lies on the bed next to me. I lock my phone so he doesn't see me basically stalk Harry's social media. Which I definitely was not doing...
"She's too caught up in Dylan to care" he rolls his eyes.
"Are you okay?" I ask as I turn to face him.
"Yeah- I wasn't in love with her or anything, I mean we only slept together once that was it" he shrugs. I didn't even know Becca had slept with Zac. Guess I really was out of the loop at the minute.
"You don't need to sleep with someone to know that you love them-" I say as I sit up on the bed sorting the pillows out beneath me.
"Trust me I know.." he mutters under his breath but I don't know if I heard him properly.
"What?" I turn to him.
"Nothing" he laughs lightly shaking his head.
"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" He says as he kicks his shoes off.
"Hey I didn't say you could stay" I joke and he rolls his eyes.
"Gonna move me?" He raises his eyebrow at me.
"I've got a feeling still then you wouldn't leave" I say and he laughs lightly. Me and Zac had this weird friendship. We did flirt. But I think that was just his character, and he kinda brought it out in me too.
"Ah you know me too well-" he sighs flashing me a quick wink and I can't help but smile.
"Oh you watch Game Of Thrones?" He says as he sees my 'Winter Is Coming' wolf teddy that Harry had got me on the bedside table. I forgot that was even there.
"Uh Yeah..." I look down at my hands as he takes the wolf in his hands. I remember that day so well with Harry. It wasn't even that long ago.
"Best show ever" he laughs lightly.
"It is" I nod as he places the wolf back on the bedside table before grabbing the tv remove.
"Have you ever seen this?" He says as he nods to the TV.
"No-" I say as I glance over at the screen.
"Here- It's this show about a guy who the police try to frame for a murder- the case is still ongoing today because no one knows who the fuck to believe" he says and I laugh lightly at his choice of words.
"Is it a series?" I ask as I let my eyes wander his face as he talks about the show.
"Yeah- Wanna watch it with me? I've only seen one episode and I'm hooked" he says as he glances at me.
"Sure, just let me change" I say as I jump up off the bed. I still had the clothes I wore for the party on and probably had my make up smeared across my face from crying. He nods as I walk over to the closet shutting the door behind me. I slowly peel my outfit off me as I look at myself in the mirror, now I stand in my underwear.
Why was I not good enough?
What did she have that I didn't?
I sigh as my fingers trace my hips as I look at how big I am compared to her. I was not enough for the one person I loved. I would never be enough for him. I glanced at my body seeing someone else who wasn't me. I didn't recognise myself. I didn't feel anything. I literally felt like I was trapped inside my own body. I wasn't myself anymore. That had been knocked out of me. I sigh before throwing some shorts on and long sleeve crop top before wiping a single tear from me cheek that I didn't even realised had slipped out. I walk back into the bedroom and sit at my vanity. My makeup looked fine actually. Not a hair out of place. I smile as I move back to the bed as Zac presses play on the series. We sit there for a few minutes and Zac starts to tell me what's going on because he already had watched this episode. I don't know what he was saying but I could feel myself staring at him as he spoke.
"Are you even listening to me?" He asks snapping me out of my daze.
"What? What are you looking at?" He asks as he catches me staring at him.
"Nothing" I say as my cheeks turn a pinkish colour.
"Your a pain" he says and I gasp as he laughs lightly.
"I am not" I hit him in the chest as he laughs at me.
"Just giving me that look" he rolls his eyes and I frown.
"What look?" I ask.
"That one!" He says as he sits up a little turning to face me with a cheeky grin on his face.
"Stop" he warns and I laugh lightly.
"I'm not doing anything!" I say and he rolls his eyes. He did have amazing eyes.
"You know exactly what your doing" he says lowly.
"Mmm?" I hum. I see his eyes flicker to lips for a second as I feel my heart begun to beat a little faster . I was so nervous for some reason. In an instant I felt the dynamics change. He slowly edged closer to my face his eyes kept on my lips the whole time before he slowly presses them to mine. The kiss was light and tasteful at first before he presses his lips into mine firmly. I place hand on his cheek as he places his on mine as he kisses me hungrily. He quickly flip us over so he is on top of me without disconnecting our lips. I feel his tongue enter my mouth and I almost like the feeling. He was a good kisser. The kiss was just full of passion.
"Amy..." he pulls away slowly before pressing his lips to mine again.
"We shouldn't-" he murmurs into the kiss making me sigh.
"Why not?" I whisper as he kisses me again softly. He was clearly fighting his urges.
"You know why..." he sighs and I sit up as he pulls away from me.
"It's not that I don't want to!" He says as I look down at my hands.
"Because trust me I do- I just..." He sighs and I frown.
"You just what? Why are you overthinking it? We just kissed" I say and he shakes his head.
"I know I just- I don't want to feel like I'm using you taking into consideration the position your in at the minute" he says and I frown. I don't think he meant to offend me, but he did. The position I was in? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
"What because I'm vulnerable? Heartbroken?" I roll my eyes as I know that's how everyone was looking at me nowadays.
"Zac I'm fine! Stop treating me differently" I sigh and I see him looking awfully guilty.
"Okay I'm sorry... I just don't want you to do something you could regret" He says as he pulls me for hug.
"Yeah.." I mutter into his shoulder as pulls away slowly.
"Yeah..." he whispers as his eyes roam my face again. Something about this moment just felt so right it was unbelievable. His eyes lock contact with mine just as his nose brushes against mine. I look down seeing his lips inches away from own again.
"If your going to kiss me, just do it-" I whisper to him causing him to laughing lightly rolling his eyes.
"Are you going to try and ruin the moment again?" He asks with a playful smirk on his face.
"Just kiss me..." I laugh lightly as he presses his lips to mine.
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AU
Hey guys, what is everyone thinking so far? What do we think about this chapter? Zac and Amy? How do you feel? Tell me everything! I love your comments more than anything!