CHAPTER 1X20
XX. Victorious
The gate was open.
The gunners stepped outside the wall first, eyes alert for any sign of Grounders. Clarissa had a gun on her shoulder too, but she was staying behind. She had to make sure everyone had leaved. Even Bellamy. There was no idea she was letting him stay behind.
He looked over to her once the crowd washed out of his sight, and then he looked down at the ground in sorrow. Clarissa was just as sad about leaving that place as he was, that had become their home. It always would be somehow.
Clarissa finally gave in, and approached him.
"I like to think we did good here."
"Eighteen dead." Bellamy had the number very clear in his mind, "You sure?"
"We did the best we could for them." Clary told him what she had been telling herself, "The other eighty two are alive. For now. So yea, we did good. The best good we could."
"I don't want to go, Clary." He sounded scared.
She faced him, and even tho they weren't in the best of places for her to confort him now, she still tried to, "We go and we live. Everyone is worth saving."
"Even me?" Even after what I did to you? Bellamy almost added.
Clarissa sighed, "Even you."
She turned her back on him, exiting the camp. It hurt to leave it behind too, but she liked to thing that was the right thing to do. Of course Clarissa wanted to stay and fight for her people, for their home. But that was the dreamy girl still inside of her talking.
Octavia was leading the way, she knew that ground better than any of them, because of what Lincoln had taught her. Clary couldn't help but feel proud of her best friend, they all come a long way, but Octavia had the most courageous one.
"Hey," Clarke touched her elbow, calling her attention.
"How is Raven holding up?"
"Not great." She felt the need to add something, "Clary, you did good."
Clarissa swallowed, "Yea, I've been trying to convince myself of that too."
"I know you wanted to fight but we would never win." Clarke tried to make her sister feel better about leaving the dropship, "Deep down Bellamy knows that too."
"Bellamy was right about something, we are cowards." She confessed, "But this way...This is how we survive."
"I never meant for this to fall on your back, Clary. The leading."
"I never asked for it either, Clarke." Clarissa replied, never looking at her sister – her eyes only on her surroundings, the gun on her hands, "But I had the strength trust upon me."
"No," Clarke's simple word forced her sister to face her for the first time, "you were already strong. That's why they trusted you, Clary. And I'm proud of you."
Suddenly, Octavia stopped.
At first, Clarissa was confused but when the sound of drumming got louder and louder, she knew why Octavia was frozen in place. Before she could shout out to her people, something came flying through the trees as it stabbed itself into the head of a boy.
It was Jasper who shouted, "Grounders!"
There were a lot of shouts, screams. Everyone started running back. Clarissa was pulled away from her own terrifying thoughts by Octavia, and suddenly they were following everyone back to the camp. They had to get away from the grounders.
Octavia and Clarissa were the last ones, so they closed up the gate. Next thing, Clary took the position next to Bellamy on the wall, her gun scanning for any grounders.
"Where are they? Why aren't they attacking?"
"Anything?" Clarke's voice shouted to them.
"No, there is no sign of them." Clarissa told her.
"Because maybe we're doing exactly what they wanted us to!"
"What were we even supposed to do, Clarke?" She replied to her sister, "We were unprotected out there, we lost one of our people!"
"I know that, Clary." Clarke soften her voice, "But we have advantages too. We have inside knowledge. Lincoln said the Scout's would be the first to get here."
Octavia approached them, "If it is just Scouts we can fight our way out. That's what Lincoln would do."
Bellamy jumped down, refusing his sister's idea right away, "We are done doing what that grounder would do. We tried that and now Drew is dead. You want to be next?"
"That grounder saved our lifes!" Finn intervened, "I agree with Octavia. For all we know there is one Scout out there."
"One Scout with insanely good aim." Jasper snapped.
"You are being really naïve if you think there is only one." Clarissa spoke up, "Come on, we know better than that. They are here."
"No," Octavia grabbed her best friend by her shoulders, looking right into her green eyes, "we can still do this, Clary. Trust me on this, ok?"
She looked over to Clarke first, then to Bellamy. Her head was spinning, everyone always seemed to be counting on her. But Clarissa was just as clueless as everyone else.
"Run and get picked off out in the open, or stand and fight back?" Bellamy called out for her decision. His tone showed that he knew which want she wanted, Clarissa had always showed him that she wanted to fight. "What is your call, Sunshine?"
That surprised Clary, the fact that he was actually asking. It surprised her the trust Bellamy was putting on her. It showed, for the first time, that he wasn't treating her like some little girl, he was trusting her with everything she had learned down on the ground. Most of those things Clary had learned with him, and she cherished each one. Bellamy had spoken up his point of view, and he was waiting for hers so they could reach a decision together.
"We are not running anymore." Clarissa's green eyes turned darker, "We're fighting."
"Clary," Clarke grabbed her arm worriedly, "what are you doing?"
"You said it yourself, Clarke. I wanted to stay and fight, and now we are."
"It's suicide!" Finn shouted at her, "You can't be serious!"
"If you want to go, you can go." She told him, surprising everyone around her, especially Finn until they heard her next words, "But I would really like you to live, Finn."
Finn knew Clarissa loved him, and he loved her just as much. And he feared the ability she had to turn her heart into ice but that was why she was so strong. Finn also knew that inside she was shaking and terrified, and he also knew that she hand't asked for that, but everyone was following her lead now, and Finn didn't always like her decisions but he had to live with them.
"Ok, this is it!" Bellamy called everyone's attention, "Kill them before they kill us. Gunners, to your posts! Use the tunnel to get in and out. From now on, the gates stays close."
Octavia rushed by them, and Clarissa knew she wanted to go fight. The determination on her face, she was familiar with it. She had a lot of that herself.
"Whoa, whoa." Bellamy stopped her, "You're not a gunner."
"No, I'm not." She pulled out her sword, similar to the one Clarissa had used to stab that guard back at their camp, "Like you said... I'm a Grounder."
"Hey," Clary stopped the raiven-haired girl before she could cross the tunnel, and Octavia turned around to face her best friend, "don't get yourself killed."
"You won't get rid of me that easily, Clary."
She hoped not.
. . .
"We have got twenty five rifles with twenty rounds each, give or take." Bellamy counted loud, "Roughly five hundred rounds of ammo."
Clarissa didn't know much about those things, but she had learned a lot from Bellamy since they got closer, especially since the day on the gun's bunker. He taught her everything he knew about armament.
"While you three were gone, we made some improvements." He continued, "Thanks to Raven, the gully is mined."
"Partially mined, thanks to Murphy." Raven corrected.
"Still, it's the main route in." Clarissa spoke up, "If the grounders use, we will know, right?"
"That's the plan." Bellamy confirmed, adding, "She also built grenades."
"It's not many." Clarke breathed out, worried.
"Again, thank you, Murphy." Raven spat.
"We'll make them count." Bellamy told them, "If the grounders make it through the front gate, guns and grenades should force them back."
Clarke raised her eyebrows, "And then?"
Bellamy looked down at Clarissa, she knew what was going to happen then. They would die, that was it, there was no more back up plan. Of course they could always lock themselves inside the dropship but for how long?
"We close the door and pray." Raven spoke up her own thoughts.
"That the ships keeps them out?" Clarke replied, "It won't."
"We just can't let them get through the gates, ok?" Clary called their attention, "That is the plan we need to follow if we want to live."
"All foxholes, listen up." Bellamy spoke to the radio, warning everyone, "Keep your eyes and ears open. Inflict causalities, as many as possible. You can hold them off long enough to make them turn back." His eyes locked with Clary's green ones, he echoed her words then, "That's the plan we need to follow if we want to live."
"That's always your plan, isn't it guys?" Finn had to say something. Clarissa was already predicting that since a whole three minutes ago, "Just like the bomb at the bridge."
"It worked!" Clary replied back, knowing she was right.
"You got a better idea?" Bellamy asked him.
Clarke suddenly turned around to face Raven, "You said there's fuel in those rockets, right? Enough to build one hundred bombs."
"I also said we have got no gunpowder left."
"Not a bomb." Clarke faced her sister now, wanting her approval, "How about a blast off?"
"Draw them in close," Raven opened a big smile, "fire the rockets. A ring of fire."
"That might actually work." Clarissa breathed out, surprised at it. She looked up at Bellamy with a smile, "What do you say? You said it yourself, you wished you could burn them all..."
"Barbecued Grounders? I like it."
"Will it work?" Finn worried.
"The wiring's a mess down there, but yeah." Raven looked up at the two liders, "You give me enough time, and I'll cook them real good."
"Whatever you need," Clarissa told her, "we get it for you, Raven."
. . .
It was around the time the first round of shots started that Clarissa finally was approached by Finn, they had been inside the dropship for a whole hour now.
"How is Raven?"
"She..." Finn hesitated, "She's paralyzed. Clarke said something about the bullet moving to her spine, I don't know."
Clarissa felt the gun almost dropping from her hands, "Paralyzed?"
"I'm going to get medicine for her from Lincoln now, but –."
"You what?" She shook her head, "You can't leave, Finn!"
"I have to." He insisted, "If Raven dies, we all die."
"No," Clarissa held into him before he could turn his back on her, her green eyes drowning in tears. She couldn't imagine never seeing him again, "I can't lose you."
"I'm coming back, ok?" Finn kissed her forehead longly, "But if I don't... I want you to know that I know that you are doing the best you can, Clary."
"I love you,"
"I love you too, pretty girl."
It was night already, and it really hard to see in the dark. But Clarissa still managed to watch Finn ran off, and a hint of pain was on her face. The terrifying possibility of never seeing Finn again was too much for her to handle, she just couldn't imagine him dying.
Clarissa looked for Bellamy on the wall, finding him on the other side of the camp, pointing his gun at the darkness waiting on the other side.
"Hey," She climbed up, calling his attention, "we are running out of ammo on that side, Bell."
It was the first time she was calling him by his nickname since everything went down between them, but Bellamy was too worried about the war to care about that. He looked over to her with a concern expression due to her warning.
"Here too."
"Jasper, we need you in the dropship right now." Clarke's sounded through the radio.
"Negative." Bellamy refused, "We can't give up the west woods."
"It's ok." Clarissa told him, "They are mined. The grounders figured that out."
"We need Jasper!"
"We can't lose any sides, Clary."
"We need that ring of fire too, Bellamy." She tried to convince him, "Let's be honest, we are losing here. Running out of ammo, so we need that to work."
Bellamy was about to reply when Jasper's voice came through the radio.
"All gunners, listen up. The grounders are not attacking. They are making us waste our bullets. Don't shoot when they are running laterally!"
"He's right." Bellamy realized, his eyes locked with Clary's green ones, and then he spoke to the radio, letting everyone know too, "Jasper's right. Don't fire until you're sure it's an attack. Repeat, do not fire until you are sure. West foxhole pulling back."
Clarissa didn't leave Bellamy side anymore, Liam was on the other one and she trusted his capacity. She was more worried about the front, if they lost that side, they would lose everything. They just had to buy Raven some time.
"Here they come!"
That's when she saw the Grounders. They were running towards them, until even tho they shot and had good aim and all, there were too many of them. Clarissa lost count of many Grounders she hit, she didn't have time to mourn them. She didn't have time to mourn her last drop of innocence either, she couldn't even catch her breath.
Monroe was the first to take off first as soon as she ran out of ammo, leaving them to fight. Clary didn't really blame her, but she didn't want to run. She wanted to win.
"Get back here!" Miller shouted, running after Monroe.
"Miller, come back!" Clarissa called out, but it was too late.
With that distraction, she felt herself be tackled down on the ground. The Grounder was on top of her, she watched him draw his sword while she groaned in pain. Clarissa got her senses back, reaching for the knife she always kept in her right boot.
She grasped onto its handle before pulling it up to the Grounder's chest. Over and over again, the blood falling down on her face. He was already dead when Clary still stabbed him two more times while screaming in anger, she was angry at them for evading her home.
Clarissa pushed him out of her body, standing up victorious.