Chapter Fifty-Two
My chest was hit with pain, like it was being stabbed with knives.
Over.
And over.
He told me he loved me, not in the way I would of liked, but he did.
And I didn’t say anything, nothing to stop him from walking out that door.
“I’m sorry”
A simple, “I’m sorry”
It would of done nothing to stop him but at least I would be able to have said it again, maybe he could of left without me thinking I hate him. Or believe that the feeling wasn’t mutual.
Louis glanced at me and I avoided all eye contact. I could tell he was wondering what our outburst was about, why he stormed out and who he was talking about and who he loved.
Why did there have to be cameras?
And Louis around.
The living room seemed a lot smaller when no one spoke. The walls seemed to close in and every move echoed through the tiny space.
“Abby” I glanced up from my train of thought and stared at Louis. “What was that?”
“What was what?” I asked him.
“You know what I’m talking about” Louis sighed.
I sighed back, “If I knew, I would tell you” I lied.
“You have to know something” Louis pried, “I’m not an idiot, I saw the way he stared at you in the interview and lets face it we all know something was up with you guys and the song titles”
“Louis, it was nothing” I groaned.
“Just tell me”
“Then ask him, he’s the one that stormed out of the interview” I finally yelled.
I pushed the wheels of my chair quickly out of the room, towards my bedroom. I didn’t hear Louis come after me, or anyone at all.
I stared at the cast on my leg, the only ting stopping me from getting in the car right now, and driving away. To my favourite place in the world.
************
Harry’s POV
When sunset hit, everything seemed limitless, even for a the moment, I forgot about everything. The boys, the interview, even Abby was able to leave my mind.
Abby, and her love for everything, but still not enough love to open it up to me.
There were four clouds in the sky, very unusual for London, or three hours out of it to be exact.
Stairs creaked and I jumped to my feet, of course she would come here. It’s her favourite place. I’m just borrowing it. Of course she’d come here. Where else would she go?
I can’t see her now.
I stared down the side of the wall, it would be useless to even think of jumping, I would die on impact. Pretty pointless.
The steps got closer and I stared at every exit, maybe if I ran down I would be able to get away just in time.
Blonde hair emerged from the top of the stair case and the breath I was holding released. “Annabel” I whispered.
“Harry” She grinned, “I thought I saw you’re car, what are you doing back so soon?”
Of course it wasn’t Abby, the thought hit me quickly, she was in a wheel chair, she couldn’t get up that many steps on her own.
“Nothing, I just, like the view” I answered. I liked everything, the space, the ability to think, the privacy, usually, and the fact that this was where Abby and I kissed, the way everything reminded me of her.
The beauty of the place intrigued me, and I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that she brought me here, and no one else.
“Missed it here?” Annabel slid closer.
I did, I missed the view, the easy going people down stairs.
“Yeah” I nodded, Annabel took it a different way.
“So, how is everything with Abby?” Annabel asked.
I stared at my hands, when I had left only yesterday, this is where I had come, Annabel had found me moping in my car and together we had moved up here, I told her everything. My hopeless tales of Abby, and how over and over she lied to me.
“Worse than before” I looked up to Annabel, she tilted her head.
“Maybe you just need to” she glanced to my lips, “Forget about her”
Is she hitting on me?
Annabel was pretty, her eyes were slightly bigger than the average person, but it was what made her face unique. Unlike Abby, who’s face was all in proportion and tiny like her body.
But I couldn’t think of Abby.
“And how do you think I could do that?” I asked her.
You’re not together anymore.
She doesn’t love you.
“I can think of a few ways” She leant her head in and I followed.
The kiss was slow to start, and all I could think was that Abby would never kiss the way Annabel does. Her lips were to pouted and hard, she tried to push in her tongue, Abby never did that, she would always follow my lead.
She doesn’t love you.
She doesn’t love me.
I felt her hands in my hair and I pictured Abby winding her fingers in my curls, mesmerised by the way each fell.
My hands found her hips and I pulled her closer.
She doesn’t love you.
She doesn’t care.
“Harry” A croaked voice whispered, my eyes widened and I jumped back, my eyes glancing around for the owner of the voice but there was no one there.
Abby.
“Uh, are you okay?” Annabel pulled me from my thoughts and I looked back down to her.
“Yeah” I smiled softly, “I just thought I heard something” I mumbled.
Annabel stepped towards me, “There’s no one here, just me” she ran her hand down my arm, “And you” She leant in again but I didn’t follow.
“Annabel” I stopped her, I put my hand on her cheek and touched our foreheads, “I’m sorry, you’re beautiful, but I’m in love with Abby”
“Yeah, I know” She rolled her eyes, “How long do you plan on waiting for her? She doesn’t love you, when are you going to get that?”
“I already know, but I love her” I sighed.
“Then what are you doing here?”
I was running?
I was hiding?
I was escaping?
“Why aren’t you with her making her fall in love with you? Why are you kissing me?”
“Im not”
“But you were”
“I didn’t-“ I didn’t have an excuse.
“You let her treat you like you were nothing, you were scared of losing her, but you’re not in love, and she’s not either, thats not how people in love act. You don’t love her, if you did, you would get into the car right now and go find her, but you wont, because you know that you don’t love her and she doesn’t love you”
I stared blankly at Annabel. My keys felt heavy in my pocket, reminding me of their existence.
Annabel was right. In her own way.
If I was in love with Abby, I should have just been happy to be with her, I shouldn’t have demanded her to go public with me. I should be happy.
But if she loved me, wouldn’t she want Louis to know? She would want me to be happy, like I want her to be. So, Abby never loved me.
I pulled my eyes from the floor and landed them on Annabel again, “I… Thank you” I mumbled not sure what to say. I forced my legs to move while my head took a while to catch up.
“Harry? Harry!” Annabel yelled at me, but I was too caught up in my thoughts to reply.
I clambered into my car and drove, with no destination, no limits. I found myself at a house I never expected to find myself at.
Joe’s house was like I’d remembered it, nothing was different, nothing at all, I knocked twice and sighed. Lora and Jake were probably here, they’d tell Abby, and I didn’t want them knowing anything.
I took a few steps back, turning from the door and preparing to run when the door opened. “Harry?”
“Hey” I mumbled turning back again, “Joe”
“What are you doing here?” He looked awkwardly placed in his own home and I scratched the back of my head.
“I was just wondering if I could borrow a bed for the night”
“To sleep? You want to stay here?” Joe clarified.
“No, to take to the homeless shelter” I rolled my eyes sarcastically. “Sorry” I instantly apologised, “Rough day”
“Right, yeah, sure, come in” He opened the door further and I stepped in.
“Jake and Lora around?” I asked glancing around the place.
“Nah, they left about two hours ago up to visit Abby, apparently somethings going on with her, they thought they’d stay the night and go with her to get her cast off tomorrow as well.”
“You didn’t go?” I asked.
“Nah, I have work tomorrow” He answered, “You’re not going to be there?” He seemed less surprised than I was expecting.
“I don’t think so” I shrugged.
“Why not?” Joe was still standing awkwardly, as though waiting for my lash out but I never did, I kept in all my anger towards him.
He was allowing me into his house after all.
“Its a long story” I left it at that. He caught on and left the room, leaving me alone in the lounge and soon returned with blankets.
“So, Jake and Lora will probably be back and want clean beds so I thought you might want the couch?” He asked and I nodded.
“Thanks”
The conversation or lack of one was becoming awkward and I tried to avoid thinking of anything to o with Joe.
“Look, Harry” Joe trailed, “I’m really sorry about what happened, I didn’t know”
I stared blankly at Joe, “What?”
“Oh god, you didn’t know” His face showed horror, “She hasn’t told you has she?”
I blinked twice and Joe let out a sigh. “Look, I think there’s something you need to know”
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So… This is a lot later than I expected,l mainly because I forgot I hadn’t posted it.. Ha..
But hey, at least I updated now.
So, does anyone remember what happened with Joe? Snaps for anyone who does.
Double snaps for anyone who gets the reference because all of you should.
Also, for all those asking, yes, this book is coming to an end and, no, there will not be a sequel, HOWEVER, I will be writing more books and would log sit if you could check those out for me.
I have a new short book titled Spilt Ink which is full of my poetry that I have written. Not 'Roses are Red, Violets are Blue' like that proper junk with emotions, and all the dark stuff. So, you know, check that out.
Anyway, Peace and Love To All You Beautiful People, and my best wishes to all those that are currently in summer because I hate you. It is freezing here (As you can tell I'm Aussie and not good with the cold.)