CHAPTER SUMMARY: Kylo Ren struggles to find enough kyber to finish the construction of Starkiller II.
Kylo Ren makes his way through the tunnel, moving slowly, purposefully.
The only sound is the thud of his boots and the occasional pitter-patter of tiny feet, creatures scurrying across the cracked earth. He's deep underground, at least a hundred meters below surface. It should be pitch black, impossible to see.
But this is a kyber cave.
Bluish-white light illuminates the tunnel, crystals clustered on both sides and stretching to the ceiling overhead. Some glow so brightly it's painful, large crystals jutting into the path. It's a relatively large deposit, covering about a half mile radius.
Finally.
Finding kyber in this galaxy has become next to impossible. Kylo has over fifty teams searching, looking everywhere, turning over every rock in every shithole planet in the Mid Rim, Outer Rim, Colonies, everywhere.
And yet, they still don't have what they need, not even close.
It's not surprising, really. In the past few decades, the largest known kyber deposits have disappeared. First, it was the Empire, ransacking every last crystal from the caves of Illum to create the Death Star. Then it was Snoke, who converted his massive trove of kyber into Starkiller Base.
Kyber has always been the galaxy's rarest mineral, but now it must be on the verge of extinction, or at least Kylo can only imagine so given how infuriatingly difficult it is to find. At the rate they're going, it'll be years before they finish Starkiller 2.
Kylo groans inwardly.
And it's not just finding the damn stuff. Kyber is maddeningly difficult to mine, the only mineral that actively resists removal. They need to start extraction as soon as possible.
He just needs to make sure Rey's crystal isn't here first.
He continues at a measured pace, closing his eyes every now and then to listen for that voiceless song.
Who knows what it will sound like? Maybe trees rustling. Maybe the hum of the ocean floor. Maybe shifting sands, grains pouring over one another, creating a soft crackle. That would suit her...
But he won't know until he hears it, and he's been searching this cave for an hour and hasn't heard it yet. Perhaps it's because her crystal isn't here.
Or perhaps it's because he can't concentrate worth a damn.
He tries to focus, clear his mind of all thoughts and images, but he can't go five minutes without being there all over again.
Kylo slows to a halts, closing his eyes.
It really was exactly as he imagined it. So, strange... what was once fantasy is now memory. Real. Dynamic. Sensual. He can almost feel her soft lips on his, her fingers running through his hair, her body trembling in his arms. She just melted, gave into everything she was feeling, gave into him completely. It was perfect...
Almost.
He opens his eyes and shakes his head, forcing his mind to the task at hand. He resumes a measured pace, trying to open his mind, be receptive to the call of the crystal. But it's not long before he starts to drift...
That final image flashes, her wide eyes, the unmistakable panic.
He sighs.
She reacted about how he expected, pushing away in terror.
He doesn't blame her for being scared. He understands why she would be. He was scared too at first, when he realized what was happening, what it meant. But in time, he came to accept it, and she will too. He is certain of this.
Because he knows exactly how she feels. He was there, inside her mind, inside her heart, experiencing all of her emotions for himself. She wants him, yearns for him, just as much as he does her. She feels how much they belong together, how they were made for each other, two halves of a whole.
She knows this in her heart. It's only her head that needs to catch up. And it will. He can be patient. He's waited this long. He can wait a little longer.
He's close. So close. Close to having everything he wants...
Yet, there is a problem. And not an insignificant one.
Kylo slows, dragging a palm over his face.
He should have known. It's so obvious in retrospect.
Of course she still wants him to become Ben Solo, like it's so simple, like Ben Solo and Kylo Ren are neatly compartmentalized, easily pulled apart at the seam. She has no idea. She never has. And now he's starting to worry that she never will...
There will always be a part of him that's Ben Solo. He's accepted that. He doesn't like it, but he accepts it.
But he is Kylo Ren. He always has been, even before he uttered the name. The ambition, the rage, the natural disposition for power... It's always been there, from the very beginning. He just didn't know what to call it.
Rey is a fool if she thinks she can kill Kylo Ren without killing Ben Solo too.
He stalks through the maze of tunnels, not paying attention to his surroundings. He turns a corner and is met by the blinding light of a large cluster jutting out from the ceiling. He whips a palm up, squinting.
Then, he sighs, annoyed with himself for letting his mind wander again. If he can't force himself to concentrate, he'll be spending the whole damn night in this cave...
He moves forward, devoting every last shred of willpower to clearing the thoughts nagging at his focus.
But it's no use. They pour in, unchecked, an unstoppable deluge.
He rolls his eyes, slowing. He stops at a dim section of the tunnel, turning his back to a sparsely populated part of wall sparsely. He sinks to the cracked earth, settling and turning his face to the ceiling. The crystals shimmer, casting a glow on his skin.
But he doesn't see them. Not really. He's so lost in his thoughts, he might as well be blind.
He thinks about Rey, what he saw and felt in her mind. His lips turn up, the emotions coming to life with the memory, how much she wants him, admires him, loves him. But there's a coldness too. It happens every time— He'll think about what she showed him and smile, then he'll remember why she feels this way, who she thinks he is.
And the smile fades.
The truth is, he's not sure who she's in love with. The man he saw in her mind... he doesn't recognize him. He's not even sure he exists, how she could be seeing that in him.
Generous. Considerate. Kind.
That's not who he is.
And compassionate? Merciful?
That's definitely not who he is. Maybe he's that way with her but... That's not who is most of the time.
The coldness deepens, an unnamed fear burrowing deep in his subconscious. It lingers there, vague and menacing, a threat to his deepest desire— His destiny with Rey, her ascension, their reign over the First Order and the galaxy. He imagines it all the time, how different his life would be with Rey there day in and day out, helping him plan, negotiate, make decisions.
But if that were to happen, she would see. She would see who he really is. And when she does...
He stiffens, smothering this horror before it becomes a fully formed thought. He pushes out an exhale as though he could purge the fear through his breath, just force it out. He barely begins to inhale before he feels the change.
Warmth gathers in his core, rising gently to his chest.
And for the very first time, Kylo's first reaction to the bond isn't alarm or surprise or panic but relief, pure, unadulterated relief.
He doesn't know what will happen. He doesn't know if they'll argue or embrace, and frankly, he doesn't care. He's just tired of obsessing over the memory, wants to face it, deal with it head on. Then maybe he can regain a modicum of control over his concentration...
He looks down, waiting impatiently, the warmth seeming to take twice as long before it crescendos to that final intensity. The moment it dissipates, he snaps up, fixing on Rey.
She's standing a few feet away, head bowed.
But a second later, she jerks up, looking around with wide eyes. She turns, eagerly taking in the surroundings, stepping a few feet down the tunnel to peer around a curve.
He pushes from the ground, watching her closely. He feels a snap of recognition followed by a powerful wave, that beautiful pain he's come to know so well. Her feelings rush into him, blending with his own.
She just realized why he's here.
Of course, she knows why he's here.
She stands for a few seconds, her back to him. Gradually, the wave dies, transforming to something else, something like dread. She steps forward.
Kylo follows her.
She moves slowly, extending a hand to hover just an inch from the crystals as she passes. She stops and turns to face one of the clusters, sliding her fingers along cylinder shapes arranged like a flower.
He approaches, halting beside her.
"So..." She swallows, eyes on the crystals. "Is it here?" She turns, continuing down the tunnel.
He furrows his brow.
No. No, no, no. He's not letting her avoid the subject, what happened between them. "Rey..." He starts after her.
She picks up her pace.
He rolls his eyes, following around a sharp curve. "Rey." He closes the gap between them. "What are you doing?"
"Examining the cave, of course."
"No." He follows close. "I mean why are you running?"
"I'm not running; I'm exploring. How long have you been here?"
"Rey, don't—"
"How big is the deposit? Bigger than the cave from last time?" She turns into another tunnel.
"Rey, stop trying to avoid this. We need to talk about—"
"It looks bigger. How far does it go?"
He sighs, slowing.
She moves swiftly, touching a few crystals as the goes
"Rey, we need to deal with this. You can't just pretend nothing happened."
She tenses slightly before disappearing down another tunnel.
He growls under his breath, stomping after her. He turns the corner to find her kneeling in front of a small cluster, her hand on the center crystal. Her eyes are closed, her face serene.
"Rey." He stops beside her. "Don't do this. Don't drag this out. You'll only make it worse for both of us."
She ignores him, seeming not to hear him at all. The seconds drag on, and he grows more irritated, pin pricks under his skin.
Suddenly, she sighs. "That's too bad." She opens her eyes. "It's not here."
"Rey, stop it. Stop trying to distract—" Kylo stops dead. The realization creeps in slowly, his eyes flying wide when it hits. "You." He crouches beside her. "You can understand the crystals, can't you? Actually communicate with them?"
Rey turns her head, her lips curling slyly.
"How? What did you do?"
"I just did what you said." She shrugs. "I stayed in the cave and listened. I listened for days. Then I came back regularly, did the same thing, just listened. And somewhere along the line I..." She trails off. "I don't know. I just started to hear them, really hear them, hear what they were saying."
He nods as she speaks, swelling with affirmation. This is exactly what he'd hoped she'd do. Now he's glad he left that deposit untouched, didn't send an extraction team to dig it all out.
"So, you can talk to them?" He leans in.
"Oh no," Rey blusters. "I hardly speak their language. I really only know how to ask one question."
"Where your crystal is?"
She nods.
"And they haven't told you yet?"
"No." She rolls her eyes. "These ones are just like the others. They'll tell me whether it's here, but not where it actually is."
"Why not?"
"I'm not sure." She looks to the ceiling. "I don't understand their answer. Something about..." She scrunches her face. "Waiting for the exchange? But that might not be right. I don't know."
He purses his lips. "So..." he starts carefully. "Do you think they'd tell you where other kyber deposits are, other places you could look?"
"Maybe, when I can figure out how to ask them. And if they trust me enough to answer."
"They don't trust you now?"
"No, not entirely. It's nothing personal, just their nature. They're very secretive, yet..." Her lips turn up. "Open at the same time. They're strange, a contradiction. They're funny too, spunky and peculiar. I enjoy listening to them."
"So, what have you learned?"
"Some very interesting things." She rises, looking around the cave. "Like..." She turns, walking down the tunnel. She makes her way slowly, palms extended on either side as though she can feel the power emanating from the crystals.
He follows a few feet behind, fascinated.
"This kyber collective is young, quite young, less than thirty years."
"That can't be right." He shakes his head. "Every kyber deposit that's been recorded is ancient, thousands of years old."
"But those deposits are gone now, are they not? Like the caves of Illum and Christophis?"
"Yes..."
"Well, it took me a while to figure it out, but they talk about Illum a lot. They're very nostalgic about it." She continues down the tunnel, touching the crystals lightly. "They miss the oneness of it. It's their nature to want to be together like that, in a giant collective."
"Then why are deposits like this one so small?"
"Self-preservation." She turns into another tunnel. "Do you think they liked being torn to bits at Illum and everywhere else? They're hiding, splitting up and burrowing deep underground. They feel like they have to."
"So..." He trails after her. "You're saying that when the crystals are destroyed in one place, they grow back in another?"
"Exactly." She halts, examining a large cluster. "There's always the same amount of kyber in the galaxy at any given time. They crave balance, equilibrium. They're creatures of balance."
Kylo stops dead, his heart quickening. He can't stop the smile creeping across his lips.
He was wrong. Everyone was wrong, centuries of research. Kyber isn't rare and vulnerable to extinction. It's an infinite resource. He just needs a way to find it...
He scurries up to Rey. "Do you know if there's a method or pattern in how they've spread themselves out?"
"Not that I've heard." She runs a hand down a large crystal. "But that doesn't mean there isn't one. They don't talk much about that kind of thing. They're much too absorbed in their politics."
"Kyber crystals have politics?"
"Oh yes." Rey turns, eyes wide. "Most definitely. You wouldn't believe the drama that goes on between the crystals in the last cave we were in. I'm sure this collective is no different. Always pestering one another, bickering, debating..."
Kylo grunts, amused. "And what exactly do kyber crystals have to debate about?"
"Plenty of things, everything— the mating habits of Loth-bats, the quality of plankton in artificial oceans versus natural ones, the longevity of egoa trees— anything regarding life. They discuss all of it endlessly, often disagreeing, accusing each other of being small-minded or pretentious."
"So, you're saying they have... personalities? Personal opinions?"
"Yes, that's right." She nods, shifting to the other side of the tunnel. "Each crystal is an individual with its own unique perspective."
He knits his brow.
"You're confused." She examines another crystal.
"It's just..." He tsks. "Everything that's been discovered about kyber implies that they have a single consciousness, one mind. Even you called them a collective."
"They are." She nods, touching various cylinders in a cluster. "They think of themselves as a single being. Even in the midst of all their squabbling, they have a constant awareness that they're one, all on the same side." She strokes the center crystal. "It's beautiful, really. I wish people could be like that." She steps back, tilting her face to the ceiling. Her expression is soft, reverent even. The glow of the clusters illuminates her features— the curve of her cheeks, the pink of her lips, the hazel in her eyes. She looks so tender, so innocent...
Kylo watches, transfixed. Without thinking, he lifts a hand, extending it to her face.
The moment his fingers brush her cheek, she steps back, alarmed.
But she quickly becomes absorbed in his gaze. She stares, unmoving, as he steps in to caress her soft skin, sliding his fingers along the curve of her jaw. He stops at her chin, taking it gently with a thumb and index finger. He descends slowly, tilting her face up to his.
But just before their lips touch, Rey jerks away.
"Don't." She shakes her head, fear in her eyes.
He shifts, angling so she's between him and the wall. She tries to step aside but is impeded by a large cluster.
"Why not?" He doesn't take his eyes off hers.
She parts her lips, but doesn't speak.
He lifts a hand to her face, brushing back a strand of hair. "Why are you fighting this?"
She says nothing, just stares. At first, she's uncertain, but as the seconds pass he senses a storm brewing. "Ben..." Her tone is clipped. "Tell me— why are you here?"
"You know why I'm here."
"No, I mean why is the First Order here?" She spits out the question.
He stares impassively.
She hardens, eyes piercing. Then, before he can react, she pushes into his mind and plucks out the answer for herself.
He steps back, shocked.
"That's what I thought." She shoots forward. "You're here to mine kyber so you can build a weapon that destroys entire star systems! That's why I'm fighting this." She glares at him.
Kylo sighs. "Rey—"
"The entire Hosnian system," she cuts him off. "Billions of people. Gone just like that." She snaps her fingers. "How could so many lives mean so little to you? How?" There's reproach in her eyes but something else too, an undertone of hope.
Kylo stares, some version of himself he doesn't recognize reflecting back at him. A coldness creeps into his chest, but he smothers it, straightening. "I won't use Starkiller unless I have to, Rey. It's a symbol more than anything else. Just its existence will keep rogue systems in line."
"Oh yes." She drips with sarcasm. "I'm sure you're going through all this trouble, spending all this money and time and effort, to build a weapon you never intend to use. That makes all kinds of sense." Her face is ingenious, but she's clearly mocking him.
"Rey, you don't understand. You have no idea what it takes to keep this galaxy in order."
"I understand that people's lives matter. I understand that they shouldn't be fodder for a power play or a demonstration to prove a point."
"Rey—"
"Don't." She sticks a finger in his face. "Don't even try to defend that weapon, and what the First Order's done with it. There's no argument to be had as far as I'm concerned. I only brought it up to show..." She huffs. "Why this can't happen." She gestures e between them.
"And why is that?"
"Because we're enemies, Ben. Don't you get it? You're the head of an authoritarian regime that slaughters innocent people. I'm a member of an organization that's sole purpose is to stop you."
His face is even, but he flinches inwardly. "Is that really how you think of me? As your enemy?"
She maintains her gaze, but the hardness in her eyes recedes. "You know I don't," she answers quietly. "But that doesn't mean it's not true. Just because that's not who I see most of the time doesn't mean that's not who you are."
His throat tightness, the coldness returning to his chest.
Rey sighs, dropping her shoulders. She turns away, walking a few steps down the tunnel. "You..." She halts. "You surely think of me as your enemy sometimes, do you not?"
"No. Never."
"Then how do you think of me?" She turns.
He steps forward, stopping in front of her. "I think of you as my partner."
She tilts her head confused. It takes her a few seconds to catch his meaning, but when she does, he feels it instantly, a wave of horror and understanding.
"Ben." Her eyes fly wide. "You have got to be kidding me." She gapes at him.
He just stares.
She claps a hand over her mouth, moving away. She walks a few feet, muttering to herself. "No, no, no, no, no. Just no. Ben." She faces him. "How could you possibly—" She croaks. "I mean—" She blinks, trying to find her words. After a few seconds, she throws her hands up. "You are a fool, you know that? If you think that I could ever be a part of the First Order, a part of what you do—" She clenches her jaw. "You don't know me at all."
Her words hit like blaster fire, tearing holes in his vision for the future.
She stalks away from him, halting and crossing her arms. Her frustration rolls off in waves. He can practically see her fuming.
But her emotions soon deepen, complicated by pain and disappointment. Soon, it all sweeps away, engulfed by an aching sadness. She droops, hanging her head. Kylo could swear he actually feels her holding back tears as she makes her way slowly to a sparsely populated part of the cave, sinking to the ground and leaning against the wall
He watches her, frozen, churning with her emotions and his.
It nags at him too, that ache, the crushing reminder of everything that keeps them apart— Different goals, different dreams, different hopes. It's maddening.
Because he knows they belong together. Even now, in a moment when their divisions are stark, he feels that it's their destiny to be one, that this is what the bond is all about. He's never been more certain of anything in his life.
But how? How is this to be achieved? How do they move from here to there? How do they reconcile differences that by all appearances are irreconcilable?
He exhales, long and heavy, forcing himself to move. He makes his way to Rey, stopping and turning his back to the wall. He settles slowly beside her, planting his feet wide and leaning back.
They're sitting just a foot away from one another, but both of them are staring at the ground. Silence descends. It's tactile, a heavy weight on their shoulders.
"So..." Rey swallows. "Nothing's changed."
"What do you mean?" Kylo glances at her.
"I mean..." She closes her eyes. "We're right back where we started. Back to the throne room. Back to expecting completely different things from each another. Back to being certain the other is wrong." She grunts in disbelief.
Then, she looks at him. He expected to see frustration, but instead her eyes are pleading, liking she's begging him to tell her she's wrong.
He holds her gaze. "Not... exactly." His tone is careful.
She shifts to fully face him, uncrossing her legs and sitting back on her calves. She rests her palms on her thighs, eyes direct. "So, what's changed? What's the difference between then and now?"
He stares quietly for a moment, unmoving.
Then, he shifts, scooting forward. He's close, a boot planted beside her, a shin grazing her knees. She's guarded, but she doesn't move away.
He lifts a hand, reaching for her face, stroking with the backs of his fingers. She flinches but doesn't stop him, her gaze caught in his. He drifts to her chin, gripping gently, tilting her face as he descends.
They connect softly, a long, lingering kiss so gentle it's all the more intense that such a light touch could instantly set their hearts racing and their muscles weak with longing. He pulls away but stays close, caressing the angle of her jaw.
He watches a series emotions play across her face, first understanding, then longing, and finally sadness. Her eyes glisten, filling with tears until one slips and trails down her cheek. He brushes it away, cupping the side of her face.
Rey squeezes her eyes shut, another tear escaping as she turns her face into his palm. She lifts a hand, covering the back of his, leaning into him.
He watches as she grows strangely at peace, burying half her face in his hand. He strokes her cheek with a thumb, and she responds by turning her lips inward to kiss the base of his palm.
And there, right then, just for a few moments, the chasm of difference between them closes, bridged that feeling, a warm pulsing like a shared heartbeat.
Kylo closes his eyes, losing himself in a oneness that defies all logic and is completely indifferent to context. Without thinking, he leans in to rest his forehead on hers, giving over to the sense of peace.
He falls forward when she abruptly disappears, the warmth of her vanishing in his hand.
He snaps up, jarred, not quite remembering where he is.
Reality descends swiftly, and he instantly feels the loss, desperate to go back in time and freeze it so he can stay in that moment. He closes his eyes and goes there in his mind, conjuring the feeling as best he can, that oneness of belonging.
He takes a deep inhale, holding it in.
Then he lets it out, opening his eyes. He stares blankly, a minute passing in silence.
Finally, he rises, brushing himself off. He looks around, lingering on the spot where was just sitting with Rey.
He stares at it, a hollow ache in his chest. Then he shoots forward, adopting a swift stride as he reaches for the navigational device at his side.
He needs to get back to the surface, give the order to begin extraction. No need to waste more time here.
He moves purposefully, sharp and focused, more driven than he's felt in days. His concentration is back in a powerful surge. He ducks around crystals jutting out from the walls, from ceiling, only seeing his destination, what comes next.
He's got a lot of work to do, and he's never felt more motivated to do it.
He needs to show her... Rey. He needs to show her what she'll be a part of when she joins him, what she can accomplish with absolute power. He needs to show her what the First Order really is, what it is under his leadership.
What it could be under their leadership.
As he thinks about these things, about how he can show her that they don't have to be enemies, that their goals can be one and same, that coldness grips him, the unnamed fear lurking beneath his conscious thoughts.
But he clenches his fists, banishing it to the secret corners of his mind.
He's not willing to acknowledge the fear— name it, examine it, consider the root of it. Like he's unwilling to do with so many things...
It's become Kylo's nature to bury uncomfortable truths, avoid facing them at all costs.
So, he doesn't sense it, doesn't detect it in the slightest, all those small movements, the changes in how he sees himself, his role as Supreme Leader, his vision for the First Order. The shifts are imperceptible like tectonic plates buried deep within the earth, the very foundation changing even as the surface appears untouched.