Dear fellow followers that have been up to date of what has been happening these past days,
I own all of you an explanation of why things are the way they are right now and why I, differently to Dylan and Tom, didn't try to explain anything.
Yes, me and Dylan did fight. It wasn't really a fight. He heard me say something that hurt him a lot. And I'm sorry to say that. And yes, Tom was there and I know that some Medias are blaming him but that is not the truth! Firstly I want to clarify that Tom Holland had nothing to do with this situation. It were my words that hurt Dylan. NOTHING ELSE. So please I ask you to keep Tom out of this and let him live his happy life in peace. Stop blaming him or anything alike. Tom I wanted to thank you for trying to fix stuff right after they happened and again, I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess.
Secondly, I wanted to apologise for not saying anything about this. I know that the two boys did and it may be disrespectful towards the ones who wanted to be justified about Dylan's happiness, that I didn't do like them. I own all of you excuses. Yes the story is real. I did hurt Dylan but before you start attacking me please give me a chance to explain.
All the stories are true. What you saw at the Paris premier yesterday was really the way Dylan feels towards me. And I understand why. The way Dylan answered shortly and didn't smile while being with me is comprehensible. He has his reasons and I accept that. Dylan isn't a bad person. He doesn't pretend to feel comfortable with someone when he doesn't. So he had no reason to pretend stuff was okay between the two of us when they weren't.
I know Dylan said everything was fine in his tweet, but it is not. And please don't smash Dylan down for lying to you. Everything he was doing was making sure people wouldn't come after me.
So now what you guys deserve; the truth.
Yes, me and Dylan were taking a coffee together when Tom came in and started chatting with us. Yes, I said that I didn't love Dylan in any kind of way. Yes, Dylan left the café right after that. Yes, I hurted my friend. But no, I did not intend to do so.
I wasn't thinking properly of what I was letting out with my thoughts in a literal mess when all of this happened. I told things I shouldn't. I lied to Tom but the most important is that I said something to my best friend that wasn't true at all.
Yes. Dylan O'Brien is my best friend. Or at least was. I'm not sure if he will ever manage to trust me again. I don't know if this between us will ever become the way they were. But I do know that Dylan will give me a second chance. He's not a kind of guy to just give up on things, especially people, that easily.
It's kind surprising and important for me to finally put this up here. To everyone. I never said before that Dylan was important to me but he indeed is. We both were always close. The moment he entered the set and came up to me, making me hold my toilet visit for about half an hour, I knew that stuff would happen between the two of us. And stuff happened indeed. Dylan and I became close very very fast, not making me doubt any second about who's the cast mate I feel closest with. I'm sorry Kaya, but this one goes to him. You're a very good second though.
Now, please give me a chance to explain myself. I didn't mean to hurt my friend. The words I said to him were not meant to be. I appreciate Dylan in every way possible. He is indeed my best friend, making me upside down, do stuff I would never think about 6 years ago. Dylan brings out a new side of me and I'm glad about that. I'm glad I found someone who makes me enjoy life at its fullest. Yesterday was the last time we had anything maze runner related and I am so sorry that we screwed up. Please don't blame Dylan for being so cold and closed when it was anything related to me. Understand his pain just the way I do.
Dylan, I don't blame you. Not at all. You're actually one of the best people I have ever met in my whole life and I understand every act you did yesterday. I understand why you gave me the microphone without even glancing at me, I understand why you made sure that there was always someone between the both of us, and I understand why you didn't talk to me when there wasn't anyone.
But I want you to know that everything you heard 2 days ago in London wasn't what you were meant to hear. If I could I'd tell all of this to you face to face but first of all you're already in your plane back home and secondly, I felt like people out there for once deserved to know how I think and feel.
What I said, about me not liking you, about me not enjoying you, wasn't meant to come out like that. I did a mistake. I admitted that words, that weren't meant to offend me, found a way to actually get to me. I'm so sorry you were the one that got hurt out of all this. But please, let me tell you something that you may not know, I'm hurting aswell. I never felt so much sorrow over a lost of a friend. I never felt so much pain over some actions. What you did yesterday hurt me so much. It made me realize that I had to fix this. I tried, I tried to tell you I'm sorry yesterday, but you didn't give me any possibility. But that's okay. I won't let this pain turn into hate, ever.
So now, the one and only truth. People use to say that words are just words. You can't figure them out. If it's the truth or just a bunch of lies. So I will tell you now what I truly feel with you; shelter.
You were always there for me. You never failed once. You gave me a smile to laugh with, a figure to do crazy stuff with, a mind that change me forever. You are that kind of guy that made me feel comfortable about interviews. You are that kind of guy who made me sit a complete night on a chair next to you drinking champagne looking at the sunset, the stars and the moon. You are that type of guy who makes me realise that you are never too old to think or do anything impossible. You give me sort of hope. You were my second chance in this world. You were the one who made me retry and live at its fullest. And I thank you for that.
I thank you for being the best friend someone could ask for. And it's okay if that feeling ain't mutual. Tyler is the perfect bestie and brother for you and that's fine. But you are the perfect one for me. And I don't need you to tell me that I'm your best friend to know that you enjoy my presence aswell. You don't need to tell me, you don't even need to reply to this.
I know it was hard for you to treat me that way yesterday. I know that deep down you felt like you were doing something wrong, like I didn't deserve it. But it's okay. I'm glad you did it. Because it made me realize of how important you are to me.
You are my friend, you will always be. I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry that I let things come to me and hurt others. But please forgive me.
You'll always be my best friend. Even if you end up deciding that you do not wanna forgive me. I will accept that. Probably lay on my bed watching all Nicholas Sparks book based movies there are so I can feel the pain even more, but I'll accept it.
Don't get me wrong pal this ain't a love letter. But you are my mate and more important to me than any of my girlfriends ever were. (I'm so sorry if any of you are reading this I still enjoy you all a lot)
So what do you say if you get your rusty ass up and come back to me. I hope you'll forgive me. I mean every smile, hug, moment, word I shared with you. Thank you for these amazing 4 years. And I'm sorry for being so bitter.
Love, Simon.
Thomas breathed in deeply before deciding to post those screenshots he had just taken from his notes. His eyes were closed shut trough all the process. He didn't want to see it happening. It wasn't because Thomas was ashamed of it or anything alike; it was just that Thomas never did that kind stuff. And to do it now was strange. But worth it.
All Thomas wanted was to have his lost friendship back. Since the premier of Paris yesterday where Dylan ignored Thomas the best he could the Britt knew that he may had screwed up worse than he thought he had.
He turned his phone off, laying it down before looking up just to meet with a beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower. Thomas was still in Paris and he wasn't in rush of going back home. First he needed to fix this. At least have an answer from the American, if it was a "I forgive you" or a "I never wanna see you again".
The Britt took a sip of his tea, smiling at the Tower that was standing in the sunset of Paris. It was a honour for Thomas to have the ability to see such a beauty. The rays of sunshine came out of the clouds like fragile angel lights. The sky was a beautiful shade of light orange, almost beige. The young actor had never seen anything less that. The way the rays crossed out of the Eiffel Tower's gaps between the metal, was glorious for the blonde.
Thomas still wasn't sure when he'd check out if he got anything Dylan related. He wasn't sure if he'd ever check. The boy knew that a thousands of people were reading the paragraph he just posted. He knew that some of them were for sure smashing their keyboards, writing something to Thomas in return faster than the phone could even process it.
The boy wanted for sure to know what people thought about all of it, what Dylan thought, but he also was afraid to find out that his friend wouldn't forgive him. He wasn't sure if he'd be actually be able to process a loss like Dylan. He wanted to. He indeed would love to be able to get over it if his friend ever decided to give up on him. Be he was sure he could never.
And bother thing Thomas wasn't sure about was it people would find stuff he wrote and thought about it otherwise. He had to admit, some of theme were on purpose, trying to make Dylan see that his feelings may be more than what he ever could have thought of. But he also didn't think just yet that he was, well gay. Or bisexual. It didn't matter to Thomas. Either way, he didn't want people to think stuff he wasn't himself sure off. But if he could, he'd wish that Dylan would enter his hotel room in that precise moment, going towards him not answering any of Thomas questions and just burst his lips into those of the desperate blonde.