¡! I do not like putting notes in my books, but a lot of the people who read don't follow, and that's fine, but I just wanted to update my readers. Sorry I haven't been publishing any chapters, I'm like three weeks into school and it's already a lot. Anyway, here's a fresh new chapter! Enjoy! ¡!
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• w h a t - h e - h a d - d o n e - t o - protect -
h i m - h a d - o n l y - hurt - h i m - m o r e. -
B u t - i f - h e - h a d - t o - g o - back - a n d -
c h a n g e - anything, - h e - wouldn't. •
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| Bill x Henry |
Henry had found Bill sitting by the quarry, he was sure Eddie had checked here, but it seemed like Bill was avoiding this place.
He found his way beside him and took a seat, placing his hand on Bill's shoulder. "You still love him, don't you?" Bill nodded slowly, his eyes puffy and red from all the crying, broken and hopelessly in love with someone who'd never love him back.
Henry didn't understand it, "Why do you love him Bill?" Bill turned to him in surprise to have heard Henry ask such a complicated yet, simple answer.
"I mean you've only ever spoke highly of Richie since we've started talking. You speak about him as if he's love itself. As if put the stars in the sky. When all he's done, all I've witnessed, is break your heart more and more each time that he's in your life. I mean the cracks in your heart are practically visible through your eyes." Henry shook his head, he had heard nothing but good things about Richie. Yet that's the least he's seen.
Bill was his friend, he didn't know richie like he did, but he knew he didn't like Bill being played with. Sure it wasn't his place to call Richie an asshole, considering his past, but an asshole was an asshole, no matter who could see it or not.
Bill let out a tired laugh and turned to Henry, his lips carried a warm smile while his eyes grew watery. "He is love itself. He could smile and that would put enough stars in my sky. He could bruise my heart until it bleeds and I would still love him."
Henry shook his head, "That isn't love, Bill. You said it yourself."
"I said it, but I didn't mean it. I know our love is complicated, h-hell you might even say toxic." Henry nodded and turned to Bill. "But you don't know Richie the way I do. Something's going on with him, I know it."
"You know it? Or do you want to believe it? Bill.. you need to move on. No one deserves a half love." Just then Eddie made a noise that interrupted them. Henry knew he was the right person to be here for Bill, not him.
He didn't know the first thing about Richie, let alone love. So, he stood up and decided to wait back at his house with the others.
| Eddie x Bill |
Eddie sat beside Bill and smiled at him, already knowing Bill had a lot on his chest. Eddie was still shorter than Bill, but that never stopped him from being the big brother Bill needed.
Bill laid his head on Eddie's lap and looked up at the twinkling stars, remembering that night Richie said he would never love him. "Eddie?"
"Yeah, Bill?"
"Am I making a mistake? By hoping this isn't how Richie truly feels?" Bill played with the end of his jacket, fiddling with the zipper in between his thumbs while Eddie brushed his hair out of his face.
Eddie sighed deeply, "Richie loves you, I'm sure of it. I just think it's gonna take a few dragons to slay before your prince gets to you." Bill smiled at his best friend and his hopeful thinking, he wished he could believe that. But with Richie constantly stating his feelings weren't mutal and standing behind them, well, it was changing the fairytale into a nightmare.
"Why can't I just move on? Forget him and fall in love with someone else? Someone who loves me back." Bill questioned, with Eddie smiling with an answer.
"Wanna know what I think?" Bill nodded and sat up, they both turned to each other, the moonlight spilling down on them. "I think: you're never going to forget him. You're always going to love the color of his eyes, seeing something in them you might never see in someone else's. You're always gonna search for someone with the same contagious laugh because his is like a sweet song to your ears. I don't think you'll ever fully get over him, Bill. You might have those nights when all the regret and pain comes rushing back. You're gonna miss him with all of your heart." Eddie pointed at his chest and then began to smile, lifting Bill's head up, his eyes now meeting Eddie's. "But you're going to be okay."
Bill started to sob, eddie immediately wrapping his arms around him, embracing him in a hug while Bill mumbled out words. Bill had been crying so much, mumbling his words through his cries, that Eddie had grown to understand him.
"I l-l-love him, Eh-Eddie!"
Eddie nodded and wrapped his hand along Bill's back, "I know you do, Bill. But, maybe.." He pulled away from Bill and placed his hands on the side of Bill's arms with a warm smile. "Maybe it's time the Princess, or in your case, Prince." Bill let out a tired chuckle.
"Maybe it's time the Prince took time to love who he is rather putting his time into loving someone else." Eddie loved Bill, Eddie loved Richie, most of all Eddie loved Bichie. But if them being together meant Bill got hurt or vise versa, then maybe them being apart is better than together.
Bill cracked the first genuine smile since he saw Richie at school. He thanked him and pulled him into a warm embrace, Eddie couldn't help but fall a little more in love with him.
| Richie x Stan x Ben |
They walked in and saw Richie sitting on Bill's bed, his back hunched over as the tears spilled onto the floor, leaving a puddle of his sorrows.
They ran over to his side, Stanley wrapping his arm around Richie, while Ben placed his hand on his shoulder. "What happened? Are you alright?" Stanley asked, Ben nodding in agreement wanting to know the answer.
Richie shook his head and began to sob, his shoulders shaking as he thought of the boy he was in love with and how he had done nothing but hurt him.
"I love him." Richie admitted, looking between them both before looking back down at his hands. He hadn't ever heard himself say it aloud without being afraid, but now it was too late; Bill didn't love him anymore.
Ben furrowed his eyebrows together, "Then why'd you tell him you didn't?" Richie turned to him, how did he know? Did Bill tell everyone he had said that? He must've looked like a complete asshole, pulling Bill in and pushing him away, crashing into his life like the a tidal wave.
"I had to." Richie wiped his eyes and sat up straight, unlike his sexuality.
"Why?" Stanley chimed in.
Richie sighed and took in a deep breath, blowing it out and sighing as the phone call with his father that night echoed in his ear like if he had just got off the phone. "That night- the night I had to tell Bill i didn't love him-"
"What do you mean 'had to', Richie?" Stanley interrupted, asking what Ben hadn't picked up himself.
"It all happened that night Bill told us the truth about his friendship with Henry.."
flashback...
Richie walked inside his house with his eyes puffy and red from the share of crying he had done tonight, all due to the fact that Bill had lied to him.
His father slammed his news paper on the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. "Where were you?" he asked just as his mother walked down the stairs and engulfed her son in a hug.
"Where you with that boy?" Richie's eyes met his father as he stared at him in confusion, there wasn't anyone his father had ordered him to stay away from. He'd know because his father was awfully scary when he didn't obey his orders, and Richie would've remembered to avoid conflict with his father.
"Boy?" Richie asked, noticing his mother exchanging glances with his father as she hugged him from the side.
"I've heard an awful earful that you and The Denbrough's boy have been queer with each other, is that true son?" Richie's eyes widened with fear, how could he have known him and Bill were together? He could've sworn they were being careful.
"Answer your father, son. Tell him it's not true." His mother smiled, it was clear she was hoping that was the truth, but he could see it in her eyes that she knew it wasn't. Him and Bill had just gotten into a fight, they technically weren't together anymore.
"I'm in love with him, dad." And yet he couldn't seem to admit otherwise. He loved Bill, no matter what anyone told him.
Sure he could've just said no and avoided whatever beating his father would give him, but he wouldn't lie to himself anymore. Because lying to himself only hurt him and Bill.
"Damn it! I will not have a queer son!" His mother stood in front of him and shook her head, a smile on her face.
"He's sick, honey. That's all! We can send him to that camp you were suggesting."
End of flashback...
"My dad threatened him- said he'd tell Bill's parents and make sure they sent him away. It was him or me.. That is why I told him I didn't, nor would I ever, love him. To protect him." Richie began to sob, what he had done to protect him had only hurt him more. But if he had to go back and change anything, he'd fix his mistakes he made, he'd change hurting Bill. But he wouldn't ever change his mind on protecting him.
"Richie.." Ben sighed.
"It was horrible.." Richie glanced between them both, shaking his head at the memory. "I don't know what I would've done if Bill had to go through that for being who he was.." Stanley pulled him into a hug, Richie sobbed into his shoulder, Be rubbed Richie's back out of comfort for their broken friend.
"Richie, we are so sorry for what your asshole father put you through.." He pulled away and looked in his eyes. "But maybe after all of this, maybe it's your turn to get your happily ever after."
Richie chuckled and wiped his tears away, "Your so gay." he laughed.
"Says the one in love with Bill." They all break out laughing, Richie smiled at his friends. He was so grateful for the friends he had, and he was tired of his parents deciding whether or not he gets a happy ending. He was getting the prince, He was getting his happy ending, and he'd slay a few dragons if he had to.
"Let's finish getting you cleaned up." Ben said, smiling a dorky smile, before helping Richie to the bathroom.
| Eddie x Bill |
"Eddie?"
"Yeah, Bill?"
"Could I stay the night with you?" Bill asked, biting on the inside of his cheek.
Eddie smiled and shook his head, "I think there is someone waiting for you back home, don't you?" Bill smiled and rolled his eyes before nodding. Eddie helped him up and and began walking home with Eddie.
"Eddie?" Bill walked with his arm around Eddie's shoulder.
"Yes?" Eddie answered.
"Thank you."
"Always, Bill Denbrough." It was a shame Eddie had to fall for the one person he couldn't have. But he'd never stop being his best friend.