[Name] and Shizuku were sitting in a small cafe not far from the school. Up until this moment, they had exchanged merely a sentence, but right now there was no way of avoiding some longer conversation. However, before Shizuku decided to cut to the chase, she tried to lighten up the atmosphere between them.
"This guy, was this your boyfriend?", she asked as lightheartedly as she could.
[Name] felt her cheeks grow slightly red. She turned her head to the side and pouted, trying to hide her embarrassment.
"Not really", she replied shortly.
"Oh", Shizuku seemed disappointed, "you look really good together, though", she added.
[Name] didn't want to admit it, but these words made her kind of happy.
"So what's this you want to talk about?", she changed the subject and looked the girl into the eyes.
Shizuku's expression changed drastically. Her face became mopey, she moved her eyes on the ground.
"I know it's too late now", her voice was quiet, "but I just wanted to let you know how I feel... About what happened back in the primary school", she peeked at [Name], but her face remained as unmoved as it was before. She felt the urge to explain herself. "O-Of course, I don't expect you to forgive me or anything. I just think you should know my reasons".
[Name] raised her eyebrow, but not a word escaped her mouth. She was waiting for Shizuku to continue. And so she continued.
"Before I moved from Tokyo, I had been attending one of the best primary schools in the city. All of the students were focusing solely on studying, including me, of course. I was used to overworking myself for the sake of good grades, so spending most of the time on studying didn't bother me as much as it should have. This way, I always ended up on the top of the students' ranking, with the best grades on every subject. I was too focused on studying to notice how my good grades affected the kids around me. Before I realised it, everyone was looking at me with hatred and jealousy. At the end of my third grade, I started receiving texts like: 'nobody wants you here', my desk was being bedaubed with insulting drawings, and everybody ignored me", while talking, Shizuku's eyes were still locked on the ground. Her expression didn't change much, but [Name] could see that a sorrowful spark appeared in them.
I never knew, she thought to herself.
Shizuku continued.
"When I moved, I decided I would never go back to how it was before. I didn't want to study anymore, I wanted everyone to like me, even at the cost of hiding my true self. And on my first day at the new school, I met you. You were quiet and withdrawn, but at the same time really kind. You resembled me from the past. Before I got to know you better, I thought of this bet. I believed that doing something like this would impress other kids. You were the best student, many kids were jealous of you, and you behaved like I had before I met you. Therefore I knew you would be a good victim. How cruel of me was to think that way", the last sentence sounded pitiful, even to [Name]. She could hear that Shizuku really regretted what she'd done.
Shizuku suddenly looked up and smiled awry.
"You know, [Name], I really liked you. At first it may have been just pretending, but then I started to really treat you like a friend. You were my first and only best friend".
[Name] widened her eyes. Somehow, her grudge had disappeared. She didn't feel comfortable around Shizuku yet, but she wasn't as tensed up as she was before.
"Only in junior high school did I realise this. I was incredibly stupid. I'm sorry, [Name]. That's all I wanted to say", with these words, Shizuku stood up. She didn't want to cause more pain to [Name] by bringing back the bad memories. She was happy enough to be able to say everything she wanted to. She was ready to receive the words of hatred, but they didn't come. So she decided to leave.
Just when she was about to take a step towards the exit, [Name]'s quiet voice stopped her.
"Shizuku", she said and the girl turned towards her with surprise on her face. [Name] was also surprised by her own reaction. "I... I forgive you".