August 1, 2015
"ALFRED!!!" yelled Bruce to Alfred's ear. Alfred sighs, as he is awoken from his bed. "What is it, Master Bruce?" "I finished it!" yelled Bruce. "Finished what?" asked Alfred. "The Project!" said Bruce, "I decided to finish the project early, so I used the 100 milllion on it." "Wait..." said Alfred, squeezing the area withing the eyebrows, closing his eyes, "You used your 100 million on THAT?!" "Why?" asked Bruce, "Are you mad?" Alfred sighs and says, "Why no, Master Bruce. You did splendidly..." "GREAT!!!" said Bruce, "Now come downstairs!!!" The two go to the bat cave. "You seem quite jumpy, sir. Did you take your Evening Meds last night?" asked Alfred. "Nope!" said Bruce. "Great!" said Alfred, "Now you'll have one of those mood swings again..." "SHUT THE F*CK UP ALFRE-..." said Bruce, but he stops and says, "I mean, yeah... You're.... You're right... Oh yeah! Here it is! I worked on it since last week!" He presses a button on his watch and shows a hologram, which he presses. Then a large circle from the ground turn into tiny cubes and retract, and from a giant hole Batmobile V.1 appears, in the shape of a 1955 Lincoln Futura. "That's a 1955 Lincoln Futura, but it's just a convertible-ish one... I mean there's a glass bullet proof roof that opens or whatever." said Alfred. "Ah!" said Bruce, "That's what you think, but it has..." Bruce presses another button, and the Batmobile opens with the doors moving upwards. "And!" said Bruce, pressing another button that triggers cup holders inside, "It has cup holders!" Alfred then shakes his head, "Why did it cause 100 Million Dollars from last year's telescope earnings?!" "It's fine... I'm a 10 Billion Dollar company, YEARL-!!!" "I know... but WHY DID YOU USE THAT MUCH MONEY?!" asked Alfred. "Oh yeah!" said Bruce, "I used it for the atomic missiles, Promethium Bombs, Kryptonium-based Computer AKA a billion-dollar super computer that I made with just three Million Dollars using the Kryptonium by just buying enough materials such as Titanium, but hey, life hacks,Batmanium that basically was used to stabilize the Promethium, some kind of chemical, called... Velocity? I don't know... mixed with the Green stuff I found for eternal engine... and some of that Green stuff I mentioned that was found close to the Kryptonium metal... Oh! and Promethium Cup Holders and Wayneum-based cushions andair bag... Oh! Also a Smart Touchscreen TV. Preetty nice, huh? You like it? Well of course you do... Duh..." Alfred walks away, with a thumbs up being raised. "Time to test this baby out..." Bruce tries to drive it. He crashes the car into the wall.
August 8, 2015
"Good thing I forgot to install those bombs... But hey! Second time's a charm!" said Bruce, with Alfred now in the backseat. "I'm pretty sure that's not how they say that phrase..." he said. Bruce carefully drives the car. It is evening. He turns on camouflage and goes around the city. "I want Big Belly Burger..." said Bruce. "Sir, I believe you have to change the car's appearance for that..." said Alfred. Bruce waves his hands as a hologram appears before him. He presses another button and the invisible car becomes a red car, specifically a red 2006 Mazda, as it goes to the closest Big Belly Burger. He opens the window and speaks to the microphone. "Hello..." said Bruce, "I would like to have a Big Belly Jr. Kid's Meal with a Junior Salad, a free toy, don't forget the free toy, and a Big Belly Meal with extra gravy." Bruce takes the Big Belly Meal and gives the Kid's Meal to Alfred, taking the free toy as he drives away. As they eat, they decide to park the Batmobile as they turn off camouflage, and leaves it in an alley, as Bruce hears shots fired nearby. "Master Bruce, are we only here because of that 12-year-old in current ransom?" asked Alfred. Bruce ignores the question. "Stay here Alfred..." said Bruce, changing to his costume, "Don't come back until I return... Got that? Alfred?" Bruce looks beside him, and he is fast asleep. Bruce then jumps out of the car and closes the roof. He then runs to the area where the criminals are. The criminals are in a warehouse, they have kidnapped a twelve-year-old girl, as she is tied to a chair in an isolated room with 15 men at the door and a man next to her. "Boss...." said one man, "Someone's in the warehouse!" The 16 masked men outside prepare their guns. Suddenly, one of the men at the back straight up shoots the other 10 other men in their legs, throwing some sort of device two 13 different guns, as he guns explode, rendering them completely useless as the men scream helplessly. The man presses a button on his watch and turns his mask back as the Batman. Five men are left standing as they attack the Batman. Batman flips and jumps on the man's shoulders, dislocating them. He then goes to the two other men as they throw punches at him, in which he blocks all those attacks and swipes his leg by their feet. He then goes on to break the two men's legs. The last two men, as the fight occurs, decide to find the last two guns that weren't destroyed. They find the two guns and shoot at him, as the Batman turns on his Promethium armor and dodges the shots, as he grabs both of the men's faces and throws their heads to the ground, nearly killing them as their skulls break. One of the men limp towards Batman. Batman then punches him, but he blocks. Batman throws several punches, spins and kicks at the man, as the man blocks it all. Bruce, annoyed, retreats farther, as the man charges, he then throws a bat-shaped shiruken into his shoulder, jumps and kicks the shiruken as it squeezes in his bones as the man screams in terror. "Who the f-f*ck are you?" asked the man after the Batman grabs him by his clothes. He then goes on to say, "I'm the Goddamned Batman." he said, lighting a match and burning his crotch. He then goes on to light 14 other matches and says, "One for you, one for you, and one for you..." as he lights each of their crotches as they scream helplessly. He then waits for a minute or two and takes some kind of liquid from his utility belt and pours it all over the 15 men, as their crotches stop burning. Electricity starts to burst out of his suit, therefore he turns off the Promethium Armor. "And kids, that's why using guns is wrong..." whispered Bruce, "In hind sight that doesn't make sense, but I'm just going to roll with it..." He then hears screaming in the room behind him. He then enters it and sees a 5.9 foot man with a mustache with a fade cut and a beardwearing brown sun glasses holding up a gun to a little girl. "Oh my God..." said Bruce, "Robert Downey Jr.???" "Excuse me?" asked the man. "Oh no... Mr. Downey... Why??! Why the hell did you do this to yourself..." asked Bruce, "I though you changed since you became Iron Man, but this... After the Ultron movie!" "I'm not, Robert Downey Jr." said the man. "DON'T LIE TO ME!!!" he yelled, gargling. "Dude... the only thing I have in common with Robert Downey Jr. is that we both hate the Human Bat Guy... which is you..." "F*CK YOU!!!" said Bruce, "I SENT HIM A MESSAGE LAST NIGHT AND HE RESPONDED!!!" "What did he say?" asked the Robert Downey Jr. looking man. "He said F*ck off... That's some straight up friend zone language right there..." said Bruce. "Do you even know what friend zone is?" asked the man, "Besides, I hate Marvel." "Go f*ck yourself..." said Bruce, still gargling his voice, "I mean, the only characters I respect in that Comic Book Industry is Iron Man, Spiderman, Daredevil, and Wolverine... But that's it..." "Besides... You're a ripoff of Iron Man!" said the man. "N-no I'm not..." said Bruce. "Yes you are! Gadgets, probably rich, a douchebag." "NO I'M NOT!!!" said Bruce, "I am very, very poor for your information." "Sure you are." said the man, "With your fancy gadgets and gun destabilizers." "Ya kno' dat da fact dat you'r blemin' and argiuwin' at ich utha is gunna rilly suk cuz dis is borin' mi breins owt ya kno'? Yu betta jus agree tu disagree and jus shut da hel up wit yur dawdlin' reyt now, ya?" said the girl with the gun pointed at her. The two gentlemen pause, confused with what the fast talking Irish girl just said. The man looks at the girl and says, "The f*ck?" as Batman pushes him off the window, falling two-stories down. "ROBERT DOWNEY JR.!!!" yelled Batman, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "I'm okay!" yelled the man, cracking his voice. "Great!" said Batman, "HOPE YOU WIN IN THE CIVIL WAR!!!""Sure..." said the man as Batman saves the young girl. "Dat's gotta hurt mate. I ken't belive that he survived da fall, int it, ya?" "Shut up." said Bruce, carrying the girl, "I don't speak Irish."
Bruce, after giving the girl to the police, returns to his Batmobile. "Shit, I should've turned on Camouf-..." he then sees a boy, taking out the tires and replacing them with bricks. The kid sees the Batman, and freezes in fear. He's wearing a red hoodie and a black handkerchief around his mouth. "What's your name, kid?" asked Bruce, whispering, "Come on! Don't be scared! Speak up!" "J-Jason...." he replied. "Say, Jason..." said Bruce, "This might sound creepy, well... of course I'm creepy, I'm Batman. 'Ahem'... Where are your parents?" The boy bows and shakes his head, as he closes his eyes. "How old are you?" he asked. "15." he replied. "Say, wanna live with a guy who's super rich and train under him 'cuz he beats criminals to near death?" asked Bruce. The boy smiles. "Boy, are you smiling?" asked Bruce, "I can't tell... Remove your hankie..." The boy shakes his head. "So are you not smiling?" asked Bruce. The boy shakes his head. "Are you saying no, you're not smiling, or no, you are smiling?" The boy just does a bunch of movements such as waving his hands and raising his shoulders. "Wait... You can ta-... Tell me if you're smiling." said Bruce. "I'm smiling." said the boy. "Okay, good...." he said.
August 9, 2015
"No..." said the Joker, "No no no nonononono.... RAAGH!!!" he yelled, bashing the cup of tea he was drinking. "How very unusual this, Caped Crusader is." he said, "Very Interesting..." The Joker is in some sort of white room, with white tiles surrounding him, bloods splattered all over the wall, with a white door in front of him. He has a desk as he sits on his chair. "We got him, sir." said a man knocking. "Well what are you waiting for? Bring him in!" he said. The man opens the door and throws a man with a broken leg as he kneels before The Joker. It was one of the men from earlier. Laughing from outside the room can be heard. "Hey! Hi!" he said, crawling his fingers all over his face, "The name's TJ... It stands for the Joker, or whatever.. I dunno you get it, right?" The man looks up and spits at his face. The men start to laugh softly. "Ugh..." said the Joker, "How rude! You're a guest? Are you no supposed to-..." The man spits in his face again. The men outside stop laughing. The room goes silent. The Joker holds his chin and makes him look up. "Look, my man, my very, very, handicapped man..." said The Joker, "I just gotta say, you... inssssulted me... And I like that...You.. 'sniff' mmmm.... very... very timid looking but... you have balls.... Mhmm... Hahhahahaha... Yes...." The man becomes angered and attempts to bite him, in which he swiftly retreats. "Oh! Hhahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!" he laughed, "We got a biter here!!! Hhahahahahahaha-..." He then hits the man as blood splatters all over the wall. The man looks in horror, as he looks around the room with several blood splatters on the area where he stands. "Shhshshsh...." whispered the Joker, putting his finger on his lips, "Do you hear that? Do you hear the voices?" "Wh-what?" asked the man, shivering. "No... Do you hear the voices in my head?" he asked, talking very quickly, "They're 'do this' or 'do that' and they just keep on wanting me to SLICE YOUR F*CKING THROAT AND DRINK THE BLOOD coming from your ESOPHAGUS!!!! Hahhahaha... But no no... But no no I said... I SAID that... But they just keep on WANTING me to ruin the party..." "P-party?" asked the man. "Shsshhshs... The PARTY!!!" he yelled, with a deep, gargling voice, "The children in the party... They're all laughing and cheering UNTIL HE SHOT THEM!!!" "W-who?" asked the man. "HIM!!!" he yelled, screaming with a deep voice, "HE DID IT, HE DID IT, HE DID IT, HE DID IT, HE DID IT, HE DID IT, HE ...DID... IT!!! RAAAAUUUGH!!!!" The Joker bashes his head with his fist, takes out a knife, stabs his throat, and slices it. "Oh gee!" said the Joker, "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry..." "You didn't ask him anything about the Human Bat.... That's like he tenth guy..." said the masked man from last time with"Oh I'm so sorry, my quote unquote 'partner'..." said the Joker, "I lapsed again! Jeez... Medications these days..." The man then takes him by his jacket and hits him down to the ground. "ARRGH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH... HEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!" he laughed as the masked man shakes his head.
Bruce is eating breakfast, Big Belly Spaghetti with Burgers and Fries along with Jason on the very long table, with one on one end and the other on another. "How much money do you have?" asked Jason. "What?" asked Bruce. "How much money do you have?" he asked again. "I get 10 Billion per year... Why?" asked Bruce. "So you are the most powerful man on the world..." said Jason, "And you prefer eating Spaghetti?" Bruce covers his mouth, burps, wipes his mouth as he finishes and says, "Yes." "So, let me get this straight, The Batman works for you?" asked Jason. "Yeah..." said Bruce, "Wait... Who called him Batman again?" "Oh, well..." explained Jason, "The news this early morning says that apparently he calls himself that.... People are saying that sounds stupid, but whatever." "Wait..." said Bruce, "THAT NAME IS NOT STUPID!!! I CAME UP WITH IT!!!" "Wait..." said Jason, "You were the one who came up with the name?" "Uh... Sure..." said Bruce as he sips his coffee. "Alright, kid..." said Bruce, "Now I need you to work for me..." "As the Batman's partner?" asked Jason. "Sidekick maybe..." said Bruce. "Aww yeah! Close enough!" said Jason. "Sure..." said Bruce, again sipping his coffee. "So are you like Iron Man?" asked Jason, "But you're the one controlling the superhero?" "No!" said Bruce, "Why the hell do people keep on saying that? I'm not Iron Man!" "Yeah..." said the boy, "Iron Man is richer than you..." "Excuse me?" asked Bruce. "No!" said Jason, "I didn't mean it by that, Mr. Wayne!" "Boy! Iron Man is just a Comic Book Character!" said Bruce. "So?" asked Jason. "So I'm richer!" "Sure you are..." whispered Jason. "What was that?!" "BREAKING NEWS!!!" said the man on the TV, "Sharks in the Gotham Bay are currently attacking random people for some peculiar reason. Shark Attacks this last week have been rising up to 50 per day! Specifically Gotham Bay, and not Metropolis Bay, for an unknown reason they seem to be attacking residents! They jump out of the water and start biting. People are now prohibited to loiter in the area as it is under lockdown." "Huh... Looks like someone's been drugging those sharks..." said Bruce. "Sir, that sounds very unlikely..." said Jason, "I don't thi-..." "This looks like a job for... THE BATMAN!!!" said Bruce. "Great! Call him!" said Jason. "Oh yeah!" said Bruce, "Uh... Oh! My phone's ringing!" "No it isn't." said Jason. "It's on Silent...." said Bruce, "And... Vibrating... I dunno.." Bruce puts the phone to his ear, saying, "Uh huh... Yeah... Yep... Sure.... Yeah... He is kinda annoying... Yeah... Sure... He's with me right now... Good news! Time for you to beat the living shit out of bad guys!" "Oh... Great! When he's back, can you please tell him to not knock me out anymore like last night?" asked Jason. "Oh! Don't worry!" said Bruce, "I already told him that... Now go to the Grandfather's Clock over there and rest your hand on the middle of where the pendulum passes." Jason did as he was told, and the Kryptonium Elevator Door opens as he falls into the elevator, it then closes. "How long are you going to keep this up, Master Bruce?" asked Alfred, coming up from behind. "Oh Jesus!" yelled Bruce, "What do you mean?" "When are you going to tell him?" asked Alfred. "When he earns my trust..." said Bruce, "He did try to steal my tires." "Then why did you pick him?" asked Alfred. "Because... those were my tires." replied Bruce, "Now give me my costume..."
"Woah..." said Jason, seeing the Batcave, as Bats fly above him. Bruce, now wearing his suit, appears to Jason. "Hello..." he said in a deep voice, "I'm Batman." "Oh hey!" said Jason, "Screw you for punching me..." "I needed to knock you out..." replied The Batman. "I could've died!" said Jason. "Okay... Whatever...Anyways, in order for you to become my partner in crime, you must learn to earn my trust. You must learn honor. You must learn on how to be a superhero. Now... Who the f*ck are you?" asked The Batman. "Ja-..." "No!" discontinued Bruce, "Your.. Superhero name..." Jason thinks for a moment and looks at the R on his left chest. "Robin..." he said. Silence enters the room. "Robin?" asked Bruce, "Really? Can it not be like... Ravager? Or... Right Wing?" "No..." said Jason. "What about the Revenger?" asked Bruce. "Robin..." said Jason. "Alright fine..." said Bruce, "Robin... To the Crime Scene!" "But it's day...." said Robin. Bruce pauses for a moment, thinking, looking at Robin, then at the clock. "Oh yeah..."
13 hours later.
"10 PM..." said Bruce, "Perfect." Batman and Robin are in the Batmobile, as Bruce drives around town, with Robin wearing his red hoodie and a mask to hide his eyes. "We're here..." he said, reaching the blocked entrance to Gotham Bay. He turns on camouflage. "Alright kid..." said Bruce, "I want you to stay here, and watch..." "Got it..." said Jason, "Go out there and watch. Got it." "N-No..." said Bruce, "I want you to stay here." "Go out there..." said Jason again, "Got it." "No!" said Bruce, sighing, "Yeah, whatever..." The two jump out of the Batmobile. The two sneak in the area. They go behind a building as Bruce sees three men throwing some sort of waste into the lake. The third man in front is wearing a shark mask, while the other two are wearing a Fox and Vulture mask. "Okay..." whispered Bruce to the boy, "Stay here..." Jason nods. Jason then turns to the bad guys, he then looks at Bruce and says, "But what if-..." Bruce disappeared. "Yo Shark..." said the man on the right wearing a Fox mask, "What do we do now?" "Tell the Crow that our business here is done..." Suddenly, from above, the Batman randomly appears. Shark snaps his fingers as the two pull out their guns and shoot at the Batman. The Batman dodges and 45 kicks the Vulture. He then pushes the Fox into the water. The Vulture then starts to throw several kicks at Bruce. 45 Kicks, Roundhouses, Front Kicks and Axe Kicks. Bruce struggles as he blocks every attack and punches his balls, causing the Vulture to retreat. The Fox then rises from the water and beats both of his fists together. He then throws a great blow to the Batman's chest, causing him to fall, but he tumbles backward as the man throws several hooks and jabs to the Batman, in which he struggles to block them all. The man then hooks the Batman by his right temple, causing him to fall down. The Vulture then kicks and the Fox punches, both throwing all they've got to the Batman, with Batman crossing his arms, Rising Blocks, Middle Blocks, X Blocks and Downward Blocks are used repeatedly in the fight. Suddenly, the Fox then gets shot in the eye. He screams loudly as Bruce gives him a right hook. The Vulture then kicks as Bruce grabs his right leg and punches him in the balls. He looks up, and above the building he sees Robin holding a slingshot. Robin then climbs down. "Good job, kid. Now follow me." said Bruce. Though Robin returns to the knocked out henchmen and takes a gun from the ground.
The Batman chases the Shark as he runs to his car. "Stop!" he yelled. Suddenly, shots are fired. Robin shoots at the Vehicle as it drives away. Batman then grabs Jason's hand. "The hell are you doing, boy?!" asked the Batman. "Trying to stop the bad guy!" said Jason. "Rule 1... Identity... Rule 2... NO GUNS...." he said, taking the gun, walking towards the Bay and throwing it in the water. "Are you insane?" asked Jason, "He was getting away!" "I don't use guns..." said Bruce. Jason pauses for a second. "You don't use guns, do you?" he asked. Bruce pauses for a second and says, "Let's go home." The two go inside the Batmobile. "We could've catched him. Why the hell did you not let me do my job?" asked Jason. "One." whispered Bruce, "'Caught'. Two. Because you're still a kid, so listen to me. Three. Killing is wrong." Jason rests his back on the seat, looking down. "You're a coward." he said, as Bruce sighs, "They didn't have those rules when they killed my mom." Bruce looks at him.
Bruce stops by an orphanage. "I'm sorry." he said. "Are... Are you firing me?" asked Jason. "I shouldn't have given you this position... I'm sorry." he said. "Don't you trust me?!" asked Jason. Bruce looks at him. He stares at him. "What? Do you?" asked Jason. "No." said Bruce. "Do you mean no you do trust me or-..." "No." replied Bruce. He drives away.
"Where's the boy?" asked Alfred. Bruce has returned to the Batcave. "He's gone, or whatever..." said Bruce, taking off his mask, "I don't care. ANYWAYS!!!" "What is it, Master Bruce?" asked Alfred. "Prepare the Periodic Table and the Crafting Pot! We're making some business!" said Bruce. "Another stash, sir?" asked Alfred. "No! Not that!" said Bruce, "Some Shark antidote, shit..." "Excuse me, sir?" asked Alfred. "My suspicions were correct! The Bay was being drugged by bad guys. I heard them say 'Crow', they must be referring to the Mob Boss I've heard of these last few months..." said Bruce."You think this is connected to the trap a few weeks ago, Master Bruce?" asked Alfred. "Well... I am getting close to the case...." said Bruce. "I'm gonna whip up some of that Shark Antidote!"
"And the two idiots?" asked the Crow. The Shark shakes his head. "The Batman was there..." "I want you to get those sharks a-running..." said the Crow, "This Caped Crusader has been a particularly huge thorn on my back... I want you to get rid of him."
August 10, 2015
"Yesterday, at Sunday night, two men, Armand Lyndecker and Warren Lawford are found to have been knocked out by the Batman vigilante, with Lawford having lost an eye. He seemed to have beaten them enough to confirm the fact that there may be a conspiracy in our hands... We just don't know what..." Bruce turns off the Television. "Well that was a good work day..." said Bruce, "Now... Time for action. To the Batcave!"
The Batman suits up, puts the spray and bullets in his utility belt and enters the Batmobile, driving away. The radio starts to play, "Never Gonna Give You Up." "Aww yeah..." said Bruce, taking off his mask, "This is my jam..." Bruce then sings along with the radio.
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Before he knew it, Robin was also singing along.
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" yelled Bruce, stopping the car, already in the Bay in the afternoon. "AAAAAHHH!!!" yelled Robin. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" asked Bruce. "WHY ARE YOU WEARING BATMAN'S SUIT??!" asked Jason. "I AM BATMAN!!!" yelled back Bruce. "'Gasp'... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOO-..." Bruce slaps the shit out of him. "Why?!" asked Robin. "Why not?" asked Bruce, "Wait... I told you to stay there!" "What if I don't want to?" asked Robin. "Then, you'll get... hurt...." said Bruce, realizing something. "Why the hell on't you trust me... Why the hell do you want to do it your way? Let me do my way?" asked Jason. "Because you remind me, too much!!!" yelled Bruce, grasping the steering wheel tightly. "Of what?" asked Robin, "What?! WHAT?!" "OF ME!!!" yelled Bruce, hitting the steering wheel. "Look kid..." said Bruce, softly, "I don't want you to go through the same path as I did... It was my mistake to bring a 15 year old kid into this... I mean... I was eight when I started my training with Alfred... But this is just.. so... so dumb... I just wanted some help... But now when I think about it, it is really dumb. I just want you to not go the same path as me because you lost your mom... Just like how I lost my dad." He grasps the steering will, firmly. "I'm sorry..." he said. The two sit quietly. Robin then looks down, then his utility belt filled with bullets as his eyes open. "Wanna be dumb together?" asked Robin, showing him his sling shot. Bruce has an idea. Bruce sighs. "Okay fine... I'll trust you..." said Bruce, with Jason excited, "But no guns, and no killing..."Jason nods. "This Batmobile will become a helicopter... We will hover over the air and I want you to get me close enough to the water, but not too close, for me to spray this shit to the water in order that the drug's effects will be neutralized, and the sharks would stop destroying that boat over there." Robin looks behind them as the boat is being chased by a large shark. The people escape, but not the boat, being torn to pieces. "Why a spray?" asked Robin. "I had to do it in just one day, don't judge... I called the The Shark Repellent." said Bruce. "But it doesn't repel... it cures..." said Robin. "I don't give a shit..." said the Batman. The Batmobile then transforms into a helicopter, as the pieces form into small cubes, shifting and moving about to flatten into a large, round, Batcopter.
It then hovers over the air and goes to the middle of the bay. "It's afternoon, so make sure people don't spot me..." said Bruce, as he takes off his clothes and pants, except his underwear, cape and mask, climbs down a rope ladder and points the spray into the water. "Why did you take off your clothes except the mask and cape?" asked Jason. "Because my secret identity!" yelled Bruce. "Why the cape though?!" asked Jason. "Why not?!" replied Bruce. Suddenly shots are fired, causing the two to look behind them. The Shark has returned, now on a private cruise ship with 10 men in it. They all shoot at Bruce, which only two bullets reach him, one is shot at his arm, the other at the rope ladder, causing him to fall to the water. Robin panics, but realizes that the utility belt was still there. He takes out some of those bullets, and shoots at the ship's engine. The Shark sees this and yells, "ABANDON SHIP!!!" as the ship blows up and the men all swim back to the bay. The Police arrive. "Why the hell are we here again, Commissioner?" asked a cop beside a cloaked man in the police car. "'The Batman' called me this morning. Apparently he caught the bad gu-..." The 10 men swim back, all with animal masks. As the Shark climbs the Bay's wall, The Commissioner points a gun to his forehead. "'Sup, bitch." he said. Meanwhile, Robin shoots at the sharks around Batman, but those don't work. A shark then charges towards him, in which he straight up wrestles it as it thrashes around. The shark spins around, pushing Bruce up and down from the surface of the water. He then strangles it as his abs and muscles start to show veins as he snaps its neck. Bruce swims up. Robin then throws the Grappling gun to him as he catches it. He then proceeds to tie the rope to another shark's neck as it thrashes and charges around, making the shirtless Batman with his cape on in his underwear look as if he was surfing on a shark, which he was. "Mr. Way-... I mean... Batman!" yelled Jason. "What is it, Robin?!" asked Bruce with the gargling voice as the shark thrashes about. "They're, uh... they're videoing you..." said Jason as the people from the other side of the bay and even the policemen are videoing him. "So what?!" asked Bruce. "Well... It's kinda humiliating!" yelled Jason, "Batman! Yep! Yeah! I'm pretty sure they're uploading it to Youtube by now!" "SHUT THE F*CK... UP!!!" yelled Batman, pulling the rope and snapping the Shark's neck, but breaking teh Grappling Gun in the process. "Wait.. Why didn't I just use that to climb the heli-... F*ck it...ROBIN!!!LADDER PLEASE!!!" yelled Bruce. Robin goes to the desktop and decides to press the extra ladder, as another ladder falls down, hanging. Bruce starts to climb it. As he is half way there, a large shark bites his cape and the end of the ladder. "Holy Sardines!" yelled Robin. "SHIT!!!" yelled Bruce, slapping the shark repeatedly, but to no avail, "JASON!! OPEN MY UTILITY BELT AND... AH!!! HAND ME DOWN THE SHARK REPELLENT BAT SPRAY!!!" Robin takes another from Batman's utility belt climbing down to give it to Batman as he kicks the shark with his heel. Batman takes a Bat shiruken and stabs it several times, but to no avail. Robin then hangs upside down and gives the spray to Batman. He then goes on to spray the shark, and after that, sprays the ocean with it. The water becomes orange, as Batman climbs back up, and it becomes blue again.
"Gunther Hardwicke, a man wearing a Shark mask, along with 30 men wearing different animal masks has been arrested for drugging the waters. Who is the man behind this? Will we hear more of this mystery mob boss? Who will find the bad guy? Who cares?! Several people uploaded the Batman, though not confirmed if this is actually him, surfing a shark, wearing his mask, cape and underwear. Is this the real Batman, or is this his colleague? Either way, this is quite embarrassing for the Caped Crusader! In other news, in the mysterious Island of Lian Yu, fragments of the Queen family cruise shi-..." Bruce shuts off the Television. "HOLY F*CKING SHIT!!!" yelled Bruce, wearing a towel around his body, sipping some tea as Alfred walks back to the kitchen. "We did it, Mr. Wayne!" said Robin. "Sure kid..." said Bruce, "Sure..." "Thanks for uh... letting me be your sidekick!" he said, hugging Bruce, "From now on, you'll be my big brother..." "F*ck..." said Bruce.
(BTM)