"If Hawkmoth is a dangerous villain who can control you, why in the world are you meeting back up with him?!" Felix asked, wondering how the woman could be so careless. Placing his hands over his head, he paced around stressfully. Why in the world was she so determined to get herself trapped?
"First off, don't you want to see your brother? He lives in the Agreste mansion, and so do I. Second, he asked to meet back up with me to check on my progress. He probably wants to know if I located Chat Noir's miraculous," Nathalie explained to him, still unsure about what exactly she'd tell Gabriel when she'd meet up with him later that day. He had earlier requested to have a word with her, and gave her a specific time to meet.
"I can wait to see the guy who tortured me for fourteen years, so you don't have to worry about me being impatient," Felix said, pushing away the anxiety that bubbled up at the thought of seeing him again. "Not to mention, I really can't have you getting hurt. He wants to trade you off for his wife, Nath, and that's going to end up trapping you eternally. There's no way out of it, and you'll be lost foreve—"
"Kitty, you'll be okay. I promise Goril— Gordon is better than he was. He won't bully you, I promise. If he even makes so much as one rude gesture, I swear I'll deal with him," she told him, cracking a small smile. "I won't get hurt either. It's just... Adrien misses his mom. If I could—"
"Nathalie, you can't just do that!" He insisted, the fear of losing her overpowering his worries about facing his childhood bully, "I told you I'd help you figure something out, and no one has to get trapped."
She looked up at him, her playful smile fading to a rather sad one. "Felix..."
"Just please promise me you won't," Felix begged, watching as she looked away from his pleading eyes.
"Adrien... he's— like a son to me. I just want him to be happy. Imagine how happy he'd be if his real mother came back," Nathalie admitted, her gaze falling to the floor as she wrapped her arms around herself.
His heart began to fall, and he realized that she was still planning on making the trade. "Nathalie, he won't want to lose you either. If we plan this carefully, we can bring her back anyways. I'm not saying I don't want her to come back either, I'm just saying there's another way. Yes, Hawkmoth's plan is easier, but there's a consequence involved, and I- I don't know how I'd live without you in this real world."
"I'm positive you can!" She reassured him, "You have your brother, your family, and I'm sure Marinette and Adrien would definitely show you ar—"
Felix let go of her, looking away in fear he might start getting all emotional in front of her again. "You can't just do this to yourself! I know we can figure something out!"
"I'm going to talk to him now, and you're talking to Gordon!" She finally snapped, yanking his arm as she began walking back to the mansion.
"Nath!" He tried to pull away, but she had a death hold on his arm, and there was no escape. Surrendering to her force, he allowed her to lead him inside.
His eyes widened as he took in the large, fancy mansion that she lived in, and gazed toward the stern, slender figure that stood over the lower level of his house.
"Who is he?" Gabriel asked Nathalie, although his tone sounded more like a demand rather than a question.
"Ugh, Gabriel," she disgustedly referred to him informally, "This is my significant other, if that's what you want to know."
Felix picked up the hint she dropped, and immediately he knew this was Hawkmoth, the guy who wanted to take her away from him. Gently wriggling out of her grasp, he angrily walked up the stairs, wanting to confront the jerk face-to-face.
"Felix, what are you doing?" Nathalie asked, sighing as she watched both men face each other with matching glares, although Felix's was more protective, while Gabriel's happened to be rather irritated.
"Felix Dior," Gabriel spoke after clearing his throat once he got a better look at him, his expression clearly unamused.
"Moth Boy," Felix rose an eyebrow, his shoulders growing more tense.
"Street Tramp," Gabriel referred to him by a name he once used as an insult, gripping his striped tie as he was preparing to transform.
"Enough name-calling. Felix, let's go," she walked up the stairs, pulling him away to go find his brother.
"So I guess you faked your own death," Gabriel added just as Felix began to follow Nathalie out, "While you were pretending to be dead, your parents moved away. Unfortunately, on their way out, they got in an unfortunate car crash, and didn't make it."
Completely disregarding the previous accusation of faking his own death, he felt himself spin and lurch forward as if he were to attack, but Nathalie grabbed him, strongly wrapping her arms around his chest. "You're such a liar, Gabriel," she sneered, feeling Felix's breathing pattern weaken in utter disbelief, "I didn't hear a thing about that."
"I don't lie, Miss Sancouer. Maybe you didn't hear because Gordon doesn't talk anymore. He did miss an entire week of work last year, and—"
"You're lying!" Felix accused him, writhing and twisting out of Nathalie's hold on him. As he broke loose, she yet again managed to hold him back from bringing physical aggression to the confrontation.
"Felix, ignore him! He likes to upset people," she yanked him behind her, "Gabriel, stop! Do you even want me to make the deal or not?! If it weren't for how much your son wants to see his mom, I would've already called the deal off!"
"Nathalie, don't!" Felix anxiously grabbed her arm. Was she serious about actually doing the trade? She couldn't be. He was terrified of the actual answer to that.
With that, Gabriel went silent and Felix followed behind her. Once the front door opened, a joyful Adrien walked in through the door, linking hands with the pigtailed girl.
Nathalie watched Gabriel's eyes wander from her earlobes to Marinette's, then he fixated his glare on the woman. She glared back, cautiously blocking the girl from his view by stepping in the way. Still wearing the earrings, Marinette was totally unaware of the true identity of the man in her presence.
"Hey Nathalie, I actually got Marinette back!" Adrien interrupted, then noticed his father as well. "Hi Father, I'd like you to meet Marinette!"
"Hi Nathalie and Felix! Nice to meet you, Mr. Agreste," Marinette greeted everyone, oblivious of the tension occurring between all the adults in the room.
"Marinette, Paris's hero. I'm honored to be in your presence, Miss Dupain-Cheng," Gabriel politely greeted, causing both Nathalie and Felix to strike a hard-core glare at him. If he were to try anything with her, they'd attack him in a second, and there wasn't going to be any hesitation.
"Oh thank you! I can actually say the exact same for you! Actually it would be a little different because you're a fashion designer, but I'm not saying you're not a hero! You're actually my hero when it comes to getting inspi—"
"Haha, you're a good jokester. Adrien, why don't you take Marinette and Felix to find Gorilla. Felix, go introduce yourself to Adrien," Nathalie pulled him down the stairs, pushing him after the teenagers as she wanted to distract everyone with other situations.
Adrien agreed, motioning for Felix to come along, but the guy looked back at Nathalie. She gave him an affirmative nod, and he hesitantly followed Adrien and Marinette away.
Now was her time to talk to Gabriel about the deal. Again, her only reason for doing this was to get her best friend out of that ridiculous place and back with her family.
He led her to his office, and there he sat, across from her chair over a desk.
Unlike Emilie, Nathalie didn't have a family anymore. Of course, her parents were still alive, but they lived far, and with time, she grew apart from them. Other than having been Lady Luck and her stable job of working for a famous fashion designer, she didn't think she had much to be around for. Emilie was supposed to be the one watching her son grow up, and enjoying life with her family.
She knew Felix was upset with her for wanting to leave, but if it meant allowing her best friend to live on in her place, it was worth dealing with. Besides, Felix was still young and attractive. As much as she hated the idea, he could easily find another girl. Maybe he'd find a girl who had more personality... or was just prettier in general.
Besides, it wasn't like she was going to be dead. She'd just be stuck in whatever Felix and Marinette were stuck in. Nathalie dreaded the idea of being stranded in the middle of nowhere for eternity, but to think Emilie was dealing with the same issue currently, and having been dealing with it for years, her choice made sense.
"Okay, so if you're still planning on going through with our little deal, why in the world does the dead Ladybug still have the miraculous? Where's Chat Noir's? Does Felix know where it's at?" Gabriel demanded, pointing a rough finger at her.
"Marinette, or the girl you just referred to as 'Dead Ladybug', wanted to be with her kwami, and have her powers again. She just came back from disappearing from her development, and she needs time to readjust to being herself. Let her be. I haven't backed out of our deal, although with your bad attitude, I've been deeply considering it," Nathalie threatened, explaining with irritation.
"I'm not particularly fond of this boy, Felix. His behavior is disagreeable and unacceptable in our situation," Gabriel defended his actions by offering the explanation.
"He's just concerned about me having to trade my life for Emilie's. I'm sure you'd be the same way if your wife were to do the same for anyone else!" She argued, putting Gabriel in his perspective.
Looking away, he just cleared his throat and went silent for a few moments to gather his thoughts. She wasn't wrong, Nathalie knew, as he did love Emilie with all his heart, and would've done anything to bring her back.
Her attention was snapped back the man once he thought of something to bring up. "And why have you been skipping out on all your paperwork recently? Look at all these piles! I would've fired you if it weren't for our deal!" Gabriel motioned to the piles of paper on his desk, removing his elbow from a pile.
"Considering I'm practically giving up my life so your wife could come back, I don't think I want to spend my last days dealing with your garbage, Gabriel. If I were you, I'd start looking for a new assistant who could put up with your crap, since I won't be here much longer," she responded sarcastically, starting to get up. What was she still here for? He wasn't allowed to tell her what to do anymore, now that he had nothing on her.
Holding back from making another snarky remark, Gabriel pushed himself to thank her. "I... don't know who else I'm going to make my assistant, but I know they won't be anything like you. I'm not sure whether or not that's a good thing, but... I do appreciate it. Although we're not on the same page, I appreciate that you're doing this for Emilie and Adrien."
In response, Nathalie offered a nod of acknowledgement, and held her image of professionalism strong as she used to.
* * *
Adrien noticed the tension in the room when he bursted into his house with Marinette, but he could tell it didn't involve him for once. Obviously, it seemed to have to do with Nathalie and his father, or something with Felix, because he wasn't very talkative on the way. Figuring it might just be an introverted personality, Adrien tried to start a conversation to lighten the air. "So... Nathalie told me about you. You were the past Chat Noir, right?"
"Yeah," Felix replied half-heartedly, looking back in the opposite direction to where Nathalie was with Gabriel. What if they were making the deal right now? What if that was the last time he ever saw her?
"So I guess you know my body guard too. I don't know his real name, but everyone calls him Gorilla. I think it's because he's big and doesn't talk," Adrien continued, and Marinette glanced back at him with a smile.
"He said Gorilla was actually his brother, you know," she told Adrien, having remembered the conversations from the void.
"Really? I didn't know my bodyguard had a brother!" Adrien exclaimed, "Then again, he doesn't really talk, so I guess it would make sense."
"Hey, it's him!" Marinette tapped Felix's shoulder, motioning over to the other room, where Gorilla happened to be texting someone.
Dropping his shoulders, he felt his eyes wince. His brother looked... so old now. His back was hunched, and his hair was grey, while he remembered it to be black and shiny. His mischievous blue eyes were now a lifeless, faded grey. "Hey Gordon," he walked over, giving a short smile.
Adrien caught the suddenly shocked expression overtake his bodyguard's face. "Felix?" He asked, his voice gruff and deep, but his tone rather gentle.
Hearing his voice for the first time, Adrien looked back at Marinette with surprise, wondering how she'd react. Her head was tilted, and she appeared curious.
"Wow, you've really grown up. I see you're no longer wearing that yellow school jacket," Felix pointed out, laughing a bit.
"Y-You're here. All these years... we thought you were lost. Nathalie told me about how you disappeared into the miraculous," he spoke, his eyes still wide with shock, "You look almost exactly the same. Of course, you've gotten older, but man, you still look like you!"
"Thanks, and I'm not sure quite why. Nathalie didn't age much either, so maybe it's due to the power of our Miraculous that stuck with us. Thanks to Marinette, we were able to escape the void that we were stuck in," Felix motioned toward the girl, who gave him a shy wave. Adrien smiled, grabbing her hand and leading her out of the room to give the brothers privacy, waving back.
"Look man, I know I was rough back then, and I gave you a hard time about things, but I did actually care about you, brother. I'm glad you're back," Gorilla cracked a smile, pulling his younger brother into a short hug.
"I'm glad to see you again. I've missed our family. Speaking of which, I heard Mom and Dad moved away," Felix brought up, beginning to feel more anxious. Gabriel couldn't have been right about his parents, right? He was just trying to get to him, just like Nathalie said. There was no way he was right.
He felt his heart sink as he watched Gorilla's face fall, and look down. Shaking his head a little, Felix tried to speak, but no words escaped him.
"I'm sorry, they... got into an accident about two years ago."
* * *
"So now that you're back, I'm guessing Nathalie gave you your earrings back," Adrien told Marinette, glancing at her black earrings with a smile.
"She did! I'm glad, but at the same time... it's kind of weird. I mean, being Ladybug is honestly the best, but if I'm being truthful, I'm kind of... scared," Marinette admitted, grabbing at the back of her earrings again to check for the metal backings, feeling her heart slow with relief when she'd feel the pointy edge.
That paranoia she felt when she had the earrings on often made her feel that they were stuck, when she knew that it was completely removable by choice. Why was she so worried it wasn't going to come off? The ordeal was over, and there wasn't anything left to be scared of.
"Scared? You're the bravest girl I know. You're out of that suit now," Adrien said, placing a hand over her shoulder reassuringly.
"Getting stuck in that suit was pretty scary, but... it was more than that, Adrien. While I was stuck as Ladybug, I... lost myself. I know, that sounds weird saying out loud, but it was like I was two different people. I had Ladybug, then I had Marinette. Once Marinette was gone, I... felt this uncomfortable emptiness, and it was like I was losing a little more of myself everyday, and the emptiness kept growing, until it began to ache. If I'm being honest, I'm not even sure if Ladybug is still there inside me anymore, but I can't feel an emptiness. That might just be because I'm Marinette right now, but if I transform, what if she can't come back? What if I can't be Ladybug any longer?"
Adrien watched her grow more and more distressed, unconsciously reaching for the back of her earlobes once again. "Hey, look at me. Marinette, I understand you're scared, but it's going to be okay. You are Ladybug. Marinette makes up Ladybug, and so does Tikki. She's the costume and magical part of it, and you're the girl behind the mask. You both make up Ladybug, so she can't just disappear. You're here now, and so is she."
Marinette glanced back up at Adrien, "You're probably right. It's just... scary. I guess being so many different people, and acting like someone else for the longest time just makes it hard to come back as yourself, and accept it easily. Ladybug, I just felt as if she were a completely different part of me as I acted. Before the development, I was completely separating Ladybug from myself, considering her a different person rather than an extension of myself. It's just so hard to see Ladybug as me."
Turning around to face a mirror, she looked up to see her own face, and for a split second, she could've sworn that she had just seen red and black in that reflection, but it was only her unmasked face. Reaching up to touch it, it was real, and her actual skin. There was no mask there.
It felt almost naked, yet refreshing. She never thought the sight of her own bare face would be so relieving, uncovered by the red and black that used to be a part of her skin. Now her nose bridge was uncovered, as well as her eyebrows. Everything was there again, and transforming, she felt, could take it all away again.
Blinking, there was that masked, distressed face staring back at her for a short moment again, and she spun back around, unable to face the mirror. Breathing a bit heavily, she looked up at Adrien, who was frowning in concern for her.
"Are you okay?"
What if she lost this side of her for good this time? Oh, how she'd taken being herself for granted, and now she promised she wouldn't any longer. To lose herself against her own will once more, and to forever be someone she wasn't born as, it would be... indescribably terrifying. How could it be that she was scared to put the suit back on? She used to do it countless times in the past year or so, but ever since she'd been permanently masked, it felt psychologically damaging to her to even consider becoming Ladybug again.
A/N: Hey guys! Happy Friday!!
I know it's been a while since I updated, and I've had this chapter here for a while. I'm just figuring things out for this story!
Let me know what you think!
Thank you guys for your sweet comments and votes! I really really appreciate it! ❤️ Hope you all had a fantastic August!
By the way, I'm sorry if I haven't been able to reply to any comments or direct messages! My notifications are being wonky, and not letting me reply to messages. ❤️
-Blue 🦋