The early morning sunlight filtered through the window voiles. I squinted an eye open, and the second one followed, last night's hellacious behaviour suffocating my chest. Imbued with dreaded regret and embarrassment, I exhaled a shuddered breath, turned my head to the side and, with a delayed reaction, noticed a large figure sprawled on the bed beside me.
Liam Warren is in my bed.
His arm draped around my midsection protectively, his muscular back misted in clammy perspiration.
The double bed looked extremely small and uncomfortably unaccommodating for this man. He is far too big, too tall. His feet hung off the end. Tousled hair irritated his soft, lidded eyes. His full lips separated on almost imperceptible breaths.
I am in love with him.
Raking a hand through my unruly hair, I gingerly lifted his lifeless arm off my stomach and slipped out of bed, trying not to disturb him. I checked the time on my phone: ten a.m. It's late. In Liam's universe, he is expected at Club 11. He should be with the men. But he is not at work. He is here with me. He spent the entire night with me.
Last night's meltdown crashed around me. "Shit."
I went to the bathroom to relieve the bladder, washed my hands in the basin, squirted toothpaste on the toothbrush and scrutinised my reflection in the mirror. Mortified by my bedraggled appearance, I fussed with my hair. I don't want him to see me like this—
"Hey." Liam's throaty morning voice husked from the doorway, and I bristled. "Why didn't you wake me?"
I captured his eyes in the mirror. He put a shoulder to the doorframe, his hands moving south absentmindedly, relaxing over the bulge beneath the waistband of his black boxer briefs. His chiselled abdomen and glorious V-line tempted my eyes to wander in forbidden areas. Vigilantly brushing my teeth to avoid paste dribbling down my chin, I tell him, "I only just got up."
Liam moved to the toilet and, unabashed, urinated. Scratching his bare chest, he looked at the ceiling, and, oddly, I was transfixed by his vulnerability. He looked carefree and relaxed in my home. Plus, it's not often I see him untailored, unarmed and unguarded. Him, kicking back, not caring about his appearance, was not normal.
Pulling the flush, he washed his hands in the sink. "Do you have a spare?" Opening the wall-mounted cabinet, helping himself to a packaged toothbrush, he broke the seal, added paste to his brush and brushed his teeth. "How did you sleep?"
"Good," I mumbled over bristles, waiting for him to retreat before spitting the minty ambush out of my mouth.
Someone replaced the bathroom door. "Did you do that?" I asked, returning to the bedroom. "The door, I mean."
Liam checked the time on my phone. "I had the men over earlier." Fisting the front of my T-shirt, he forced me to straddle his thighs. His fingers crept under the oversized material to get a handful of my arse. "Are you okay?"
His casualness confounded me. "Aren't you supposed to be at the club?"
"Later." He fell onto his back, bringing me with him. "I wanted to spend the day with you."
"You want to spend the day—with me," I repeated, eyeing him sceptically. "Why?" Demeaning understanding dawned on me. "No, don't pretend you care or feel sorry for me, Liam. I am not a liability; I am not suicidal." I tried to climb off him, but his hold on me tightened. "I don't need twenty-four-hour surveillance because you think I might try and top myself again. It was a moment of weakness."
"Shut up." His hand curled around my throat, drawing me close. "You like putting words in my goddamn mouth. I am here for you," he emphasised, his rough, resolute voice scattering horripilation across my warm skin. "Yes, I am concerned. I want to know why you lashed out last night." He abruptly rolled me beneath him, his hips nudging my thighs apart so that he could settle between them. "I know you," he whispered against my lips. "Something happened. You only lose yourself when triggered."
Again, he rendered me speechless.
"Your friend left early for work." His hand applied pressure to my throat. "Do not panic. Chloe did not see me." Our lips brushed. "I have you all to myself."
I outlined his features with curious eyes. "What's happening? Why are you here, Liam? In fact, why did you come over yesterday?" I prattled question after question. "How did you know...?"
"I knew nothing," he said angrily. "I swung by to see you. What does it matter? Do you wish I hadn't? Do you wish I had walked away and let you achieve?"
My blood boiled. "I told you, I am not suicidal—"
"No, you simply tried to drown yourself for sport," he spat, collapsing onto the mattress beside me. "Fucking hell."
My heart wedged in my chest. "I am embarrassed," I admitted, chewing my thumbnail. "I didn't want you to see me like that."
Liam propped onto one elbow and splayed a hand across my stomach. His eyes avoided mine. "I am an envied and despised man by many," he said, his fingertips tracing my navel. "Whoever amalgamates with me immediately has a target on their back. Since establishing the syndicate, I have lost many men over the years."
He was opening up. "Liam..."
"I swore to myself a long time ago that women were nothing but a means to an end." His eyes sought mine. "I don't need a weakness, Alexa." My breath held. "It's life-threatening. We discussed this already, haven't we?"
I was unable to control full-blown hypertension. I didn't need vocalised confirmation. He bore his adoration in those deep-set eyes, no matter how much he tried to deny it. "Do you admit that you might care about me?"
He gave me a pointed look. "You know, I do."
I stared at him in disbelief. "Well, you have a funny way of showing it, Liam. Do you expect me to believe I'm special? You ditched Christmas arrangements to be with Cherry."
"I never touched her." He seemed repulsed by the accusation. "I do, however, want to touch you."
"Liam," I warned, shoving his chest as he climbed over me. "I am not sleeping with you."
His confident smirk irked me. "Are you sure?" He cupped me between the thighs, pressing the heel of his hand against my sex. "I can make it good for you."
"You still haven't answered my question." I breathed through my nose. "You skirt around it to avoid giving me straight answers."
His lips taunted the shell of my ear. "What was the question?"
I tilted my head, looking deep into his eyes. "Why are you here?"
He pondered briefly. "I missed you."
My lungs inflated. I wanted to believe him.
Liam removed my T-shirt, his lust-filled gaze settling on my breasts. "Keeping you is wrong," he said, taking one small mound in his callous hand, his thumb stimulating my nipple. "Keeping you is dangerous." He dipped his head, twirling his tongue around my pebbled peak, and sucked me into his mouth. "But I didn't get through life being a moral citizen." Pushing down on my inner thighs, he opened me up to him and dropped his scrutiny to my exposed pussy. "I am selfish, demanding, unquenchably avaricious." His head disappeared between my thighs, and when his tongue flattened against my clit, I buckled for him. "And I always get what I want."
A strained moan fell from my lips. "Liam." Reaching for his head, I tangled my fingers through his hair. "Shit."
His wicked tongue strokes coaxed erotic moans from me. Devouring me with thorough determination, he suckled hard, easing two fingers inside to locate my G-spot. He found it, knuckled-deep, and pumped in and out. His tongue licked and caressed, and his mouth suctioned the nub, building me up to orgasm. It slammed into me like a freight train. My walls milked his fingers as I combusted against his mouth. "Liam." His unrelenting mouth prolonged the climactic torture. "Oh, God."
"No." He withdrew his hand, sucked my arousal from his fingers and hummed in approval. "Liam Warren."
"Alright, lothario." Admiring his bulge, I bit down on my bottom lip. "I might need you after all."
He gave me a short, caustic laugh. "I thought you didn't want sex." His hands braced on either side of my head, and his gaze toured my features. "You are fucking beautiful."
My heart palpitated.
I longed to tell Liam how much I loved him.
Call me insane, foolish, unreasonable and delusional, but I missed him so much. "You're not so bad yourself, Mr Warren."
My intended lasciviousness earned me an amused smirk. "Come back to the club," he mused, and my affectionate smile disappeared. "You don't need to labour at the Coffee House, pouring coffees for a pittance."
Of course, he knows where I work. "I am happy there, Liam." I love Grayson, Jace is a potential friend, but I would much rather operate alongside Josh. In saying that, I no longer have faith in Liam, not enough to go back, anyway.
What happens tomorrow or the next day?
His indecisiveness did a number on my heart.
No, I hold the power cards.
I am self-sufficient and independent.
I did not need Club 11.
He palmed my cheek. "What is that look?"
I frowned. "What look?"
"I can see those wheels turning inside your head." His fingers combed through my hair. "Get it out."
I chewed the inside of my cheek. "What are we doing?"
"We're testing the waters," he said, and my eyes rolled. "Don't overcomplicate us, Alexa. I want to see how things go."
I decided to play him at his own game. "No."
"No?" he prompted, and I held my tongue. "You would deny me."
I did not blink. "Yes, actually."
"Is there someone else?" he asked genuinely, and I had to suck my upper lip to prevent laughter. "Well?"
"I mean, there have been so many—" His teeth sank into my shoulder. "Liam!" I smacked his arse. "That hurt."
"What man?" he asked, his seriousness replacing fake humour.
Intentionally goading the overbearing caveman, I pretended to jog my memory. "Oh, well, there was the guy I met at the..." His piercing blue eyes smouldered with intense enrage and nonsensical jealousy. "I am kidding," I whispered. "Nobody sees me but you, Liam."
"Bullshit," he rasped. "You turn heads when entering a room."
My head lifted to place a soft kiss on his lips.
"Baby, don't tease me with other men unless you are prepared to sign their death certificate." The muscles in his shoulders were rigid. "Got it?"
I caught my breath as he rolled off me.
Liam stood by the bed, adjusting his boxer briefs. "There is something I wish to discuss with you." He picked up his discarded suit. "And then I want you to get ready for tonight."
"Where are we going?" Yawning, I climbed off the bed and stretched. "Can we leave serious conversations at the door for one day? I like this dream. I don't want to wake up."
Liam glanced out the window while tugging on his trousers. "It's about your sister."
I became guarded. "What about her?"
Opening the window entirely, he popped a cigarette between his lips and fired the end. "Tell me how you escaped that night."
"I told you. Kathy found me." My brows incurved. "I couldn't tell you what day or time it was. I knew it was late because it was dark outside. Our only way to flee the compound was to swim." Recalling the ice-cold water, I rubbed my arms. "Our sodden clothes had dried by the time we reached the motorway. It was like breathing for the first time."
Liam flicked the cigarette out of the window. "Police records suggested that Kathy remembered nothing," he said, and I stepped back. "But you did."
"You don't know who took us or who held us captive."
"Why?" I asked, not wanting to lie. "They will help us."
Kathy sniffled in my ear. "I don't want him to get mad."
"I don't know what she told them." I built an impenetrable wall between us. "It was a long time ago."
He analysed me closely. "Why did Kathy try and kill you that night?"
"I think she was under the influence." Opening the bedside drawer, I selected a folded T-shirt. "You probably know more about her condition than I do, so you tell me."
"Heroin and crack," he divulged, and I felt sick to my stomach. "Cocaine, Molly. Take your pick. She was into some pretty heavy shit."
My heart thudded. "I underestimated how much our past traumatised and affected her."
"Do not simplify or downplay Kathy's egregious intentions." He grasped my chin. "It will not protect your perspective, Alexa."
I yanked the cotton T-shirt over my head. "Part of me believes if I don't admit what she did aloud, then it's not true."
Liam sighed.
"Flamur authorised our escape," I admitted, and he shot me a double-take. "Kathy didn't save me. She wanted to get me away from him."
He was speechless.
"I will never truly understand her reasoning or motive—only she had the power to explain and fill in the blanks—but it's evident she fell in love with our captor and convinced herself I was a threat.
"I guess, in some way, she was right. He was fond of me. I was his favourite.
"What I cannot fathom, though, is how I didn't see it. Not once, over the years, did I feel threatened by Kathy. In my eyes, she was harmless."
"Until the night she reappeared?"
Or when she chased me down in the street. "Yes." His unmoved demeanour stunned me. "You are not surprised."
"No, I am privy to Kathy's affair with Bajramovic. In fact, that's why I wanted to address it with you." His knuckles grazed my cheek. "I felt you had the right to know, but it seems you're more switched on than I realised. I do, however, have another question. Why did you keep Kathy's malevolence from me?"
"As I said, I didn't want to believe her cruelty festered from jealousy. My big sister chose a monster over me." Lowering to one knee, I retrieved the diary from under the bed. "After speaking to..." Josh, I thought, flickering through pages. "I found Kathy's journal."
Liam took the leather-worn diary. "Have you read all this?" His eyes roved the untidy passages. "Baby?"
"Almost." My arms folded. "It's hard to read."
"It's not true." He pointed to the paragraph. "I never spent the night with her." Turning the page, he skimmed the next entry. "She wanted you to read this."
My frown held. "How can you be so sure?"
"Why else did she fabricate our relationship?" His ringed fingers paused on the page. "All this," he gesticulated angrily, "is to upset you."
I disagreed. "Kathy was incapable of foreseeing our encounter, Liam."
"Really?" He pushed. "Why did you come to me?"
"What do you mean?"
"You deliberately sought my attention," he reminded me. "Formulated assumptions by yourself, did you? Or were you led to believe I was the answer to all your prayers?"
I was tongue-tied.
"Your bitch of a sister knew you'd come after me to find her," he said the unthinkable. "Kathy hoped I'd kill you."
A sudden chill trickled down my spine. It was on the tip of my tongue to argue, but deep down, I knew he was right. "Liam—hey," I called as he stormed out of the bedroom. "Where are you going?" I followed him down the hallway. "Liam?"
Liam unlocked the front door and ascended the stairwell.
I chased him into the communal garden. "What are you doing?" He matched a flame and dumped it in the steel bin. "Liam?" When he tore pages from the diary and chucked them into the licking flames, I saw red. "Liam! You cannot do that. It belongs to my sister—"
"Belonged," he corrected, watching the crackling pages burn in the makeshift incinerator. "Kathy is dead and never coming back. You don't need insight on her fucked-up outlook."
I staggered beside him, the time-worn pages melting before my eyes. "You had no right—" He snagged my elbow, dragging me back toward the building. "Liam, let go of me!" I wriggled against him, but he overpowered me, elevating my feet off the ground, hauled me into the flat. "I didn't want you to do that! I never finished reading—" His mouth claimed mine, something he does to shut me up. "Liam," I whimpered, hearing the front door slam behind us. "Erasing memories is impossible. I love her regardless."
Inside my bedroom, he backed me up against the wall. "Let it go." His lips caressed mine as he blindly rummaged through the wardrobe. "I like this one." Ripping the price tag off with his teeth, he handed over the red satin mini dress. "Grab a shower and get ready so that I can take you out."
There is no reasoning with this man. "Where are you taking me?"
"I'm going to feed you," he said, and I swear there was a hint of suggestiveness in his smooth voice.
"Isn't this dress a little short for a restaurant? I bought that to go clubbing."
Giving me a wolfish smirk, he pulled on the white shirt, leaving it unbuttoned. "You're wearing it for me."
I fumbled with the red dress. "About last night," I said warily. "You were right. I was triggered."
Liam looked pleased that I confided in him. "Go on."
"I found a box on the mat." Opening the drawer to my bedside table, I held the envelope to my chest, somewhat guardedly. "Liam, I am humiliated by these photos. I want to show you because I think they might help you locate Flamur. But please, if you can help it, overlook the sickening content."
He took the polaroid photos out of the envelope. If they repulsed him, he didn't show it. "Do you trust me with these?" he asked, and I belatedly noticed the whiteness of his knuckles. "The background is useful. However, I will need the men on board."
I nodded.
"You were a child." Putting the photos away, he placed a hand over his mouth. "When I kill him—because I will kill him—know that I will do it for you." His eyes briefly closed. "You are an incredible woman, Miss Haines." He kissed the crease between my brows. "If only you could see what I see."
I held his hand and swept my thumb over his knuckles. "Shall I meet you at the club?"
"No, I will pick you up in three hours." He finished getting dressed, tucking the envelope in his pocket. "Wear the dress."
Liam left the building.
I was still smiling hours later.
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