I've said as I walked in the door:
"SKADDOODLE YA NOODLES, CUZ CASSIA'S HOME"
"I've got to use the restroom, so if someone would kindly go out to the car and unstrap my four 5-gallon water bottle children and bring them inside, that would be great."
"Itttssssss RONNIE!"
"Salt lick and salt block, get down here so we can talk!"
"Have I told you how much I hate construction?"
"Yes, the cats are alive. No, I haven't killed them yet."
"*singing Soft Kitty at the top of my lungs as I slam the door open*"
"someBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME-"
"College is like highschool, but harder and the boys are more immature."
"Can we have pizza tonight? My graveyard stomach doesn't have any ghosts left in it."