ACT ONE; CHAPTER TWENTY
HEART AND MIND
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FOR YEARS, AS many would know, Quidditch had been Eleanor's primary escape from reality. The reality of War, of her family life or just when Regulus was feeling particularly annoying that day, you name it, if it bothered her, she was on a broom hitting the skies mark and feeling a whole lot better about herself. In some ways she guessed that made her selfish – abandoning everybody else to feel better about herself in something she knew would always be waiting for her alone – which was why she didn't actually mind focusing on her second escape.
Participating in every single non-mandatory class she could worm her way into before Slughorn announced enough was enough because she couldn't possibly attend Transfiguration and duelling class at the exact same time – "not even you are that able, future Minister Archord" – was another, she supposed, hobby of hers. It was a hobby made of other hobbies, some she liked and some she most definitely did not, all that would look good in the eyes of future voters – at least, the ones she didn't repetitively beat then boast about it any duelling-like lessons.
One of her favourites, as Gryffindor as it sounded, was the newly added, per Professors Gideon and Fabian Prewett's request, sword fighting lesson. From the beginning of September, Eleanor had improved at a remarkable pace due to not only her rough-and-tumble attitude thanks to Quidditch but extra help from her Defence teachers since even they, who prided themselves on fairness with students, couldn't possibly deny Eleanor when she was pestering them after every class for just one more tip. After all, Eleanor Archord couldn't possibly do anything by half.
Which was why, midway through showing Professor Gideon how exactly he should roll on the floor after jumping down from a height with his sword in perfect pirate fashion, Eleanor was adgitated to say the least when her Seventh Year Gryffindor friends arrived at the door. To say they had to drag her away from the class and bind her by wrapping her in clothes that would help her survive the winter air may sound like an exaggeration, but it was the truth. However, once Eleanor was on the path leading to Hogsmeade, she found her struggling stop as she rearranged her clothes so she didn't look like a madman who'd escaped prison because she was only human and no human she had ever met could resists Honeyduke chocolate.
The chocolate was what Eleanor made sure everybody knew she was going for as she walked beside her five friends, with a huff in her voice. Laughing, Sirius put his arm around her shoulders before gaining a glare and slowly removing it. "I know you like to stab people in your spare time now that you can't do Quidditch but all we thought is you might like to take a break to come here since it's the last Hogsmeade weekend trip, despite it being a bloody Thursday, of this calendar year but mostly for—"
"For the chocolate."
"For the chocolate!" Sirius echoed. "Mind you, don't let that Quidditch figure disappear since you've got to be back playing next year."
"Might even be Captain, if Flint manages to figure out how to hold her wand properly. I bloody wish I was here to see it – even if it means Gryffindor losing to Slytherin because of your expert Captain skills. Which she obviously got from me." James added before getting pulled into a playfight with Sirius who didn't believe James possessed any skills, let alone ones that allowed his team to win. Peter ran off trailing after them in hope of either splitting them apart or being dragged into it, Eleanor didn't know which, but she hoped it was the latter because that seemed to be most likely.
Any other time, Eleanor probably would've produced a camera from her bag and joined Peter's expedition but she knew that the two people who had slid to her side the moment the opportunity rose would never let that happen. Eleanor didn't have the energy to fight against Remus' imploring gaze, let alone anything Lily threw at her, so she simply crossed her hands protectively over her chest and prepared herself mentally for the questions bound to come. Then, "Go ahead and get the interrogation over with."
"How are you with all the rumours?" Lily began with a soft look that not many ever saw from her anymore. In the first few years of knowing, that look was almost constantly plastered on her face, unless James happened to be in proximity – Eleanor presumed that it was sometime after her and Severus' friendship fell apart that fateful day by the Lake that the look disappeared and sometime during the year that the crush James had on her became mutual that it began to make a reappearance.
The rumours she was talking about though took more of Eleanor's attention. Since just under two weeks prior, when Eleanor and Regulus publicly became friends so there would be no more arguments in class and threats of duels on the way to them, rumours had been flying around quicker than the duo could put together on their brooms. Since, obviously, in Hogwarts, nobody could grow up and put a petty feud in the past where it belonged without reason, especially Slytherin's – look at Severus Snape, still hating James Potter as many presumed he always would.
Still, rumours were rumours and in the past few months Eleanor had become more than acquainted with being at the centre of them. She probably should've been used to them and telling Pandora to stand down whenever her best friend threatened to Hex somebody she'd heard whisper Eleanor's name – despite not really being too thrilled about Eleanor's new friendship either – but she couldn't find it in herself. Unlike Regulus who shut down everybody who got the nerve to question him with a polite announcement of them both simply growing up, Eleanor found herself unable to get the words out. Mostly because she didn't know why she'd become friends with him, really, or why she couldn't help but smile like a goon whenever she noticed him in a room, which she was always doing nowadays.
"I'm handling it," Eleanor responded confidently, something that faltered under the pair of raised eyebrows. "Kind of. It's hard to figure out what to say people when I don't have any of it figured out myself."
"You could try being honest." Remus suggested. "Something along the lines of, 'I decided not to punch him in the face everyday because instead I'd rather snog it'."
Disgruntled and hungry was not a good combination on Eleanor, not even for Remus who she shoved away from her and leaned into Lily's protective arms. Though, as Lily began to speak, Eleanor wriggled away from her too. "Usually Remus has more tact than that but he's not wrong. You do like him—"
"I do not."
"Great because I saw him kissing Poppy Parkinson yesterday."
Everything in Eleanor was put to work in the not-reacting department of her body but a small huff escaped her without even knowing. "I was doing that because I didn't think you'd have the heart to lie to my face, you're better than that Lily Evans."
"My apologies," Lily mused, trying to hide the laughter, something Remus was failing to do and therefore getting the full blast of Eleanor's annoyed looks. "I'm just trying to prove it to you. For a whole two years, I spent my time just observing James and I went through like twenty quills a month because I would chew on them while I did without even noticing. You don't need to waste all that money when you could just realise you actually like the bloody idiot you used to hate and find your own happiness like I did but with money you didn't have to spend on quills every other day."
"I don't know if Lily's more passionate about the quills issue or my issue but, either way, you're wrong. First of all, I never hated Regulus, I just wanted to punch him every now and again because he infuriated me with stupid comments. Now I want to punch him because he infuriates me by making me not want to punch him with that stupid smirk and actual, real kindness and good dress sense and even better humour actually—"
Somewhere in between realising what she was saying and realising that Remus and Lily were sharing looks was the reason Eleanor cut herself off with an awkward cough. Admittedly, Eleanor rather enjoyed burdening more people with her abstract feelings for Regulus Black rather than letting her head run wild. When left to its own devices, with it's new playmate the heart, Eleanor's head rather enjoyed pretending it had genuine romantic feelings for the boy...
Especially at night when Eleanor was trying to sleep or in class when Eleanor was trying to learn. In the former situation, she would be forced to lay half-awake and half-asleep as the dangerous duo imagined different scenarios which for some reason always resulted in an absurdly heated kissing session between her and Regulus. Whereas in class, she'd ended up physically biting her tongue as the duo battled against her common sense every time she caught sight of him class because her heart and mind, apparently, wanted to out her confusing feelings for all of Hogwarts to know.
"Oh, Lily, she really has convinced me that she is just friends with Regulus, hasn't she you?"
"We're just friends!" Eleanor exclaimed before promptly glaring at the First Years who had stopped hesitantly stalking their Head Girl to move onto full blown staring at the outburst – it didn't help that if it wasn't for those specific First Years she would've gone the rest of her Hogwarts career safely disliking Regulus instead of being involved in several mentally annoying situations. "You can say all that about somebody and still just be friends."
"When I was just friends with Sirius, that's along the lines of how I used to describe him. Now look at us – he hasn't slept in his own bed for months now." Remus smirked to himself.
"And, before you say that Remus and Sirius had always been friends before so that doesn't count," Lily interjected at the sight of Eleanor's opening mouth, which in that conversation was always a signal she was going to object. "Just a reminder that I severely disliked James then, one day out of the blue, found myself describing him just like that."
Even though she would've enjoyed revelling in being right, Eleanor bit her tongue when she made to protest against Lily's romantic position not counting either since James may have been a toe rag, as Lily would've said, but he was the furthest thing from a Death Eater. Though, if she didn't know the response that she was bound to get – something along the lines of, Regulus promised you he wants to be better than his Mark, she presumed – and the words slipped out, she couldn't help but assume that she'd be arguing against her own point the immediate second after. Eleanor could only admit one thing and it's that she had true hope that Regulus would be good, even if it ended up not being for her once she figured out her feelings.
"And we know that's different too—" Remus began, as if he had read Eleanor's thoughts that she didn't want to say.
Much to the eyebrow raise of the sibling like duo, a scoffing Lily cut her best friend off with as much of an apologetic glance as she could muster. "Maybe it is different but that's because all great loves are unique in their own way. I can't remember who said that first because I'm paraphrasing a little bit but there's a lot of truth in that. Look, you don't have to say you're in love with him but don't hide your feelings – that never gets anybody anywhere good, trust me."
The remarkable thing about Lily Evans, Eleanor had noticed in that walk, was how quickly her emotions would appear on her face, erasing the one before as if it had never been felt. That's why, she presumed, Remus' face barely faltered at the sight of Lily's annoyed humour disappear to be replaced with deep sadness, it was something that happened so often that he was almost too used to it. They all knew what it was caused by – the destruction of her friendship with Severus because his harboured and unrequited love for her caused him to do and say the most idiotic of things – so nobody spoke after, as there was nothing to say.
"If," Eleanor emphasised after their contemplating silenced was drowned out by the nearing yells of Sirius, James and Peter, "I realise that my feelings for Regulus Black go beyond friendship and into a territory far more dangerous then I'll tell him. It wouldn't be like me to keep my mouth shut and my head out, really, would it? Plus, after being so honest with me for the past few weeks, about his own feelings and his views on the War, I do kind of owe him. So, I'll try and figure this mess in my head and heart out as quickly and calmly as humanly possible. Romance and love will never be ruined again, not for any of us at least."
Timing was a gift Eleanor seemed to be naturally born with as she managed to stop her speech just as they reached the battling boys' mess of feet, hair and snow. With an eyeroll, Lily set to work in splitting the playfight up before a serious injury could occur with a rub of Eleanor's arm as she walked past. Compared to the chuckling boy at Eleanor's side, who used his dangly limbs to wrap her in a comforting side hug as she shivered, anybody could tell which of the Gryffindors had been dealing with playfights for five years straight, rather than five on and off.
Moving his head from watching the amusing sight of now four tangled up Gryffindors, Remus brought his head to Eleanor's ear to, she presumed, give her a brief yet loving response to her speech. However, the words were never uttered as the sound of Eleanor's biggest play-fight friend's voice approached, chuckling as she spoke, "Do I want to know what's happening? This is why I don't let Eleanor near you Gryffindors, you're animals."
"Warm blooded animals," Eleanor corrected Kelsie who could now be seen, draped in her usual green coat and matching hat, with her hands on her hips. "I believe if we were to continue our fight from when I asked to borrow your scarf the other day on this snow, I might die."
"At least then I would've got to keep my scarf." Kelsie remarked, nodding to gesture the fact Eleanor was indeed wearing it, causing a smirk any Black would've been proud of to appear on the stealers frozen face.
Out of nowhere, each of the three fighting Marauders and incredibly disgruntled Lily were split apart, sat on the floor cross-legged as far away from one and other as they could get while still being in viewing distance. In the middle of the group was Remus who sarcastically blew metaphorical smoke off the tip of his wand before letting it fall back into his pocket. With a smile, he met Eleanor's enthusiastic eyes and gave her a small nod – yes, I'll teach you the spell later.
"Honestly, I like fun as much as the next girl but if you ever drag me into a whatever that was again, I will break up with you." Lily warned James, as he struggled to fly from his spot to hers to help her up before she could do it herself. Somehow, amazingly, he managed it and Eleanor presumed it had something to do with Quidditch pretty much running through his veins, as it did hers.
"Considering it's only been two months since you began dating," Sirius began, "and our next fight is never too far away, Peter will owe me ten galleons if you break up with him. Good luck, Wormy."
Shaking her head, Kelsie walked over to link her arms with Eleanor then sent an apologetic look to the elder children, most of whom were still on the floor which made them not look as old as they were. "As much as I hate to deprive you of time with my dear Eleanor Archord, I need to steal her away for a date at the Three Broomsticks. You can all protest if you like but, I've hooked her, so I'm going to take her regardless."
Apparently, none of them felt up to the task of arguing against a particularly stubborn Kelsie Selwyn, as they all allowed Eleanor to be dragged off with just the voiced hope of her having fun. Eleanor herself didn't want to protest either since she knew fun would always be on the cards with Kelsie – especially if they somehow managed to drag Pandora away from Xeno's side, and out of the honeymoon period, long enough to join them. Somehow, passing her best friend kissing Xeno as they skated on a small puddle, Eleanor doubted it would be a date for three.
Another thing, along with the world famous chocolate, that Eleanor couldn't help but be a sucker for when it came to Hogsmeade was the Three Broomsticks. Despite the promised occurrence of being bumped into or doing the dumping into at least three times each trip, the high body count gave the homely vibe Eleanor loved so much. Especially once you secured your table, had your drinks and were able to just observe for a moment as your company settled in.
On that trip, as Kelsie rid her body from her newly drenched in Butterbeer coat and sat down with a infuriated sigh, Eleanor was too busy surveying the room to notice her friends dismay much. From her Professors huddled in a corner whispering with half laughs and half grunts of annoyance, presumably discussing students, to the strangers at the bar sharing drunken stories of everything ranging from the Grim sightings to their grandfather's survival of World War Two. A lot of Eleanor wished she could don an invisibility cloak and worm her way to hear everybody's stories, hoping she could learn something interesting or at least invest herself in a story.
Before she could think too much into forming a plan to abduct the Cloak that she knew James Potter owned and abandoning her friends, her friend cleared her throat. Gaining Eleanor's attention as she had wanted, Kelsie grinned and looked at the untouched drink in front of the girl in front of her. "How's your Butterbeer?"
"Good," Eleanor lied, then took a sip of it to balance out the lie as it really was good, she just hadn't known that when she said it. "What's this meeting about then? Missing me already after just a few hours?"
"As much as you have that effect on people, it isn't why I dragged you here and allowed myself to be drowned by some drunken forty-year-old man's beer." Kelsie admitted, then pulled on her face that Eleanor associated with interrogations with questions that Kelsie already knew the answers to. "I just think that you should be reminded, before this can begin, that even though myself and Regulus called off that whole engagement thing, we're still the best of friends."
Tearing her lips away from the cup that she'd been nervously drinking from, so much so that her drink was now level with Kelsie's who had been drinking it since she got hers, Eleanor managed to somewhat confidently speak. "I know that, why do I need a reminder?"
Back when Eleanor was unsure of Kelsie Selwyn's loyalties, she remembered being a lot more frightened of her than she had ever been when she questioned Regulus'. Watching Kelsie observe her with a stone-cold face, Eleanor remembered why she had been more fearful. Nobody had ever crossed Kelsie too much to make her snap because nobody would ever dare want to get on the bad side of her upon seeing her when she was even the slightest bit annoyed and being wary of just that – unlike how many enjoyed prodding at Eleanor's dragon continuously despite how every time she proved that they really would regret it.
Regardless, even with the lack of times anybody could witness Kelsie being angered, nobody really forgot the few times she was forced to be. From witnessing first hand the lead up to the explosion and the blast itself, Eleanor knew that Kelsie's biggest fuel for anger was not being told something. Eleanor also knew that the only secret even somewhat regarding Regulus that he could've possibly told her about was their kiss, thus the obscene amount of drinking Eleanor was doing in hope of dulling the pain of the blow as the countdown ticked.
"You're really going to make me say it aren't you?" Kelsie mused, a lot less angry than Eleanor had anticipated, but she still warily drank even though her throat ached. "I know that you and Regulus shared a kiss, alright? I literally couldn't keep the fact that I knew from you any longer and it was clear you wasn't going to own up."
A lot of questions that she should've asked popped into her brain in the following seconds. Mainly ones about how long she'd known, why she was being uncharacteristically calm about a secret being kept from her and what her opinion was on the entire situation. There was a variety of clever choices for a response that Eleanor could use when her finally gave her throat a break from consistent swallowing. Yet, the second her breath was regained, all the appropriate options seemed to take a vacation as Eleanor blurted out the total opposite.
"Is he alright? I mean, is Regulus actually alright or is he just really good at being a Slytherin and he's hurting inside but is keeping it to himself?"
At the eyebrow raise from Kelsie – what do you think? – Eleanor's hands allowed a cushion for her head. Continuing regardless of the fact Eleanor might not have wanted to hear more until she'd pulled her emotions together, Kelsie fiddled with the straw in her drink as she shrugged. "I guess he's just as confused as you are."
"He's not nearly as confused as me." Eleanor muttered into her palm before forcing her head up.
"Well, I'm not surprised at all." Kelsie stated before moving her head from resting the wall of the Three Broomsticks so she could lean forward enough that Eleanor would be able to her hear dramatic whisper. "I'm not an oblivious idiot like you two – no offence, you're both my really good friends and all, but I've been seeing this whole predicament brewing since your first argument as, quote, unquote, rivals because Regulus has never been good with showing his emotions unless he really knows and trusts you. It's also obvious that neither are you."
Shaking her head, Eleanor let out a sigh that she'd given too many times in the past few days, "Regulus and I have agreed to be friends, you know this, everyone knows this, yet nobody seems to really accept it."
"Because it's a stupid idea!" Kelsie yelled, yet still in whisper form. Softening her gaze so it returned to what Eleanor saw every day, the girl leaned back against her wall and ran her hand through her hair and Eleanor couldn't help but wonder if she'd picked the habit up from Regulus. "I waited too long to admit how I felt to Bilius and now he's gone so I never got the chance. Each day I wake up and the first thing I think of is if he died wondering if I loved him. I hope he knew but I'll never know for sure. This, between you and Regulus, might not be love but what's stopping you both from finding out? Not the War anymore, not your rivalry anymore – you've lost your excuses so don't make the same mistake I did."
"I'm still so sorry, you know." Eleanor whispered, clutching the hand that Kelsie had allowed to lay on the table. Softly smiling, Kelsie squeezed Eleanor's hand back before she let it go. "I promise I'll figure it out, for you and for everybody else who is worried."
"Don't figure it out for us. Realise your feelings because to feel them is the best thing in the world and there is nobody who deserves it more than you and Regulus – and Pandora, of course, but at least she didn't need me to turn all emotional to realise that."
Midway through Eleanor's soft chuckle, without another word, Kelsie stood up from her seat and began to walk past her confused companions seat and towards the door. In replacement, a blur of something being shoved flies into the newly vacated seat. Once they were sat, Eleanor's eyes widened at the sight of Regulus who was recovering from being pushed into the seat without any warning. As he straightened himself up, Eleanor turned to face Kelsie with a pleading look as she had no idea what to do.
"Talk," Kelsie mouthed, an amused smirk undeniable to anybody around her, before she skipped out of the Three Broomsticks, not bothering to wait and watch her masterplan unfold. Mostly, Eleanor believed, because she had no idea if it would work in her favour.
Which was what Eleanor was most worried about as she tore her hands' grip off the back of her chair and forced herself to spin back around so she was facing Regulus. The boy was now sat calmly, busying himself with wiping the lipstick Kelsie had left on her glass before taking a sip of the drink she'd left behind. As she predicted, the moment the liquid touched his lips he pulled away with a face scrunched up in disgust.
"I would've told you it was Butterbeer but your reaction is always the highlight of my day."
Rolling his eyes gently at her equally as playful delight, the boy began searching the room with eager eyes. Before she could question it, he'd discreetly produced his wand and a drink that had only just been placed down on the bar was flying towards their table. As natural as possible, Regulus caught it and took a sip, as he had practiced the art of stealing drinks many times before – and, being a Slytherin as well as knowing them, Eleanor was sure he would've.
"I'm going to ignore that," She announced, making him smile and she forced herself to look away from it before she gave into her head and hearts pleads of jumping onto the table and announcing completely out of the blue, undying love for him. "What do you think Kelsie's up to with all this?"
"I think she's doing her upmost best not to think about Bilius."
Playing with her newly empty cup, then silently telling the eyebrow raised boy that she did not need a drink stealing in replacement with her huffed shake of a head, Eleanor sighed. "Sometimes I don't know what I believe less, the fact Bilius is really gone or the fact I never realised he and Kelsie were so in love. Looking back at it now, it all seems so obvious – the looks, the jokes that nobody else really seemed to get, the way I never saw him without her."
"I guess the thing about love is that nobody really think it's there until one day there is simply no denying it," Regulus replied. Catching each other's eyes as they both looked up from the fiddling they were doing was what caused him to nervously clear his throat. "From an outsiders point of view, I mean, obviously."
That was the Regulus that kept her up at night, she realised. As much as she couldn't help but enjoy the now playful arguments and debates or the fact she could no longer help her heart taking a momentary break whenever he did his signature smirk or, even worse, bit his lip in concentration as he tried out a new spell, this as the Regulus that she knew had captivated her. Largely because she believed that the flustered, rosy cheeked and hand-running-through-hair Regulus was the only version that she only got to witness.
"Tell me something about yourself." Eleanor blurted out.
"What?" He laughed but then descended into thought. For a moment, she believed he was going to take it seriously, and then his smirk reappeared and she mentally sighed in preparation. "I am a sixteen-year-old Slytherin from the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."
From the preparation of her mental sigh, Eleanor rolled her eyes. "I meant tell me something that doesn't make you sound like a douche that nobody else knows, sorry for not being specific."
"I guess, if I had to choose something that fits that criteria, I'd like to work with Magical Creatures. I don't know how yet, maybe like a magical vet or something."
Prior to the extra time thinking about him and prior to any inkling of a friendship, Eleanor had imagined Regulus working a Ministry job – nothing special, nothing life changing. From that moment she was able to envision him in the position of a Muggle farmer tending to what she presumed was a cow to Muggle's but what she replaced with a Hippogriff and, as odd as the sight seemed, it couldn't fit any better. Just like that, another part of Regulus that she liked more than she probably should've was added to the list, in a prized position next to his nervous addons of sentences.
Smiling, she nodded. "I can work with that."
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WORDS: 4985
eleanor stop being so in love with regulus challenge??????? that's supposed to be my mood wow. but seriously, i was gonna make this like super slow burn but i have never experienced that myself. like all my crushes/relationships have been like really sudden so i guess i'm writing from experience here. but yeah we've got some cute chapters coming up for releanor then some bad ones for eleanor then some cute ones again. because, guys, we're close to the end of act one!! and act two is super like insane it's gonna be so fun!!! i'm so excited!!!!!!!
also, if you wanna see how i imagine young!regulus and eleanor would lowkey be like if they were nicer to each other then go watch anne with an e and shirbert will give you all the feels. alright, that was just me plugging awae but shirbert does give me some releanor feels especially since lucas is my young!regulus faceclaim.
also also, speaking of faceclaims, i changed eleanor's again... i just love danielle campbell she's like a crush of mine and she's so good to use for hp faceclaims thanks to the originals. and davina does remind me a bit of eleanor so it all works out.
DONT FORGET TO LIKE AND COMMENT, LOVE Y'ALL AS MUCH AS EL AND REG LOVE EACH OTHER