as I write this I have another totally different version of this chapter and I'm curious to see which one will make it hehe // the song is "Dance To This" by Troye Sivan and Ariana Grande aka a chill bop
edit: I just finished writing this and there is actually no plot to this chapter it's just fluff oops
Lee Minhyuk
I felt movement behind me for the fifth time since I was first woken up by it. Initially I chose to lay still, maybe he's having a rough time falling asleep.
Until he turned over once again, that is.
I turned myself around ready to throw my arms around him but he suddenly sat up, switching on the light on the nightstand. I could now see how his chest rose and fell at a speed, and the sweat on his face. "Babe?"
"Huh?" He turned to me absentmindedly, eventually running a hand through his hair with a sigh as he leaned back, deflating against the headboard.
"Is everything okay?" I said softly, also sitting up with him.
"Just a panic attack," he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. It's quite common for me, I guess I just never mentioned it, I'm sor-"
"Hey, don't apologise okay?" I squeezed his hand. "You haven't done anything wrong. I'm gonna go and make you some tea okay? I'll keep the door open; if anything, just shout."
He nodded and I got up from the bed, any silver of calmness evaporating the moment I was out of sight, almost wishing my ankles an early goodbye as I went downstairs three steps at a time. The door of the mug cupboard also nearly went as I came close to swinging it right off its hinges whilst looking for a mug, hissing at the kettle for suddenly working 3 times slower than it usually did.
I returned upstairs in record time, hoping the way I calmly walked into the room overshadowed how much of a mess I looked. "Here we are. I didn't let the water get too hot so you can drink it now." aka any longer and I would have actually thrown hands with a kettle.
"Thank you." He said softly, taking a sip from the mug I handed him. I sat beside him, watching him quickly and silently drink the tea as I stroked his hair. "I'm sorry for waking you up suddenly, you have work tomorrow and you really should rest-"
"Listen, I'm not going to sleep until you're okay, alright?" I smiled. "Plus that's what coffee is for."
"If you say so," he eventually grinned back, placing the empty mug on the nightstand and laying back down. I followed suit, pulling him into my arms before he turned off the lights. "this is nice."
I giggled. "Enjoy it while you can, I don't usually cuddle people to sleep."
"You've cuddled other people?"
"I mean-I don't usually-I-"
"I'm kidding," he laughed gently. "I'm not that crazy."
For a few moments, we laid in each other's arms in almost perfect silence; I had begun to slowly drift back to sleep, feeling Jooheon's breaths on my collarbone & his hand resting on my side.
"Minhyuk?"
"Yeah?" I mumbled almost immediately.
"Can you just speak to me a little bit?"
"Of course," I replied, returning to play with his hair. "hmm, has your hair always been brown?"
"No, I have black hair, but I dyed it blonde in my second year of university then went back to brown when I graduated and haven't looked back since," he said. "does it suit me?"
"It really does. It matches your eyes."
He giggled. "Thanks."
"How come you get these panic attacks suddenly?" I spoke moments after, hoping I wasn't forcing my way into his business. "actually, never mind that. You don't have-"
"No, it's fine," He properly turned over to look at me, his face lit up by the yellow hue of the streetlights which filtered inside through the curtains. Wow. "when my Mom left, she went overnight so I have always had panic attacks at night because I feel like I'll be left again. Sometimes I'm doing well and won't have them for months, other times I can have literally one everyday. Woobin also used to leave a lot in the nighttime whenever we argued, so I guess it came from that too."
"I'll never leave you," I moved a strand of hair from his face. "I promise."
"You don't need to promise to me, I trust you."
It was only three words, but not even the three words every couple anticipates. I trust you. I couldn't quite lay a finger on how that simple statement made me feel, but it sure as hell did make me smile like an idiot, leaning forward to kiss him. Like always, Jooheon smiled at the small gesture before properly responding to it, shuffling closer to rest his hand on the side of my face, the gesture making my heart do several backflips in my chest.
It had been two weeks since we returned from Daegu, two weeks since we first kissed and regardless of having done so rather often in the past 14 days, it always felt the exact same way it did back when we were sat in front of the fireplace. I was so stupidly in love with him that any walls I had ever built up came crumbling down as if they never existed in the first place. And I was okay with it.
"God," Jooheon breathed once he was back to laying in my arms. "imagine if I'd just let you get decapitated by that bus."
"What a day, I remember I looked up to you and I thought is this a joke but you just looked so concerned I didn't have it in me to shout at you," I chuckled. "thanks."
"Was that to me?"
"To me and to you both. To you for yanking my ass back, and to myself for well, not dying before I met you."
"You've been in that situation before?" He gasped adorably, craning his head to look at me. "Fuck me, Minhyuk, just put your bus pass in your lanyard so you don't keep dropping it."
"Not literally that situation," I laughed, kissing the side of his head. "just the dying aspect of it. I had a bit of a...hard time, about a week and a half before that day."
He turned to face me. "What happened?"
"Remember the evil co-worker you completely grilled at Sunny's cafe? Well, about two weeks before we met, there was an office party and he got really really drunk and started to make moves on me, and we kissed. At some point during this, he snapped back to it and just said some really awful and disgusting things to me, and it started to get out of hand at one point. At that time I was in a really bad place already because of my parents, but that was the final push so I just took as many sleeping pills as I could bring myself to and laid down in my room. About half a day later I wake up in the ICU after having my stomach pumped out and well, here we are now."
"Oh, Minhyuk, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, I guess. I mean, things must happen for us to grow. Hence why I said thanks to myself for surviving so I could be right here with you."
"I'm proud of you, like, I knew you were strong but this is just," He grinned. "I really did luck out, didn't I?"
"Does being awake at 2am suddenly bring the cheesiness out of you?" I laughed. "But no, I did too. I really am lucky to have you."
He smiled once again, and I couldn't help but to add to it, making him squirm and squeal as I placed several pecks on his face, eventually throwing my arms around him again. "Ready to sleep again?"
"I think so, yeah. Goodnight, baby."
"Goodnight," I mused, chuckling as he nuzzled into me. "Babe."
"Yes?"
"Aren't pizzas just flat cakes?"
"Minhyuk, I swear-"
"Okay, okay. Goodnight, babe," I whispered. "how do you feel about pineapple on pizza?"*
Jooheon sat up, flicking the light back on. "Amazing."
"Wait, really?" I slowly sat up too. "Where have you been all my life?"
"A couple of floors up." He replied innocently, the two of us proceeding to jump into a pointless and meaningless conversation about everything and anything in between.
***
"I regret everything."
"Mmm." I groaned, feeling him lean slightly on my shoulder.
The small conversation ended up lasting until 5am, and we got about two hours of sleep before my alarm rang, and now here were sat here sleep deprived, waiting for Jooheon's bus, which slowly rolled up to the bus stop.
"Come on," I patted his thigh to get him to stand up. "I'll message you about lunch, okay? Wake up, Jooheon."
He nodded, blinking slowly. "Okay."
Quickly, I peered around to see if there were was any unwarranted attention directed to us, and when the coast was clear, I leaned forward and pecked his lips, scaring the living daylight out of him.
"Okay, I think I'm awake," he smiled, waving. "see you later!"
I hung around the bus stop until he was in the bus, standing like a fool by the window he was sat at to wave him away once the bus began to move. Following that, I began to walk to the monorail station, but came to a dead stop in my tracks as a message flashed on my phone.
Yoo Kihyun
Today 8:18am
I saw you two being gross in the middle of the street today
what
no you didn't
you're right but now I know y'all were being gross in the middle of the street
SHUT UP
idk where this came out from
I usually feel the urge to punch any mf I see but
but
with Jooheon
I just want to hug him lots
and give him lots of kisses
don't make me throw up before work
BUT BLESS
maybe it's because uhhhh
your dumbass is finally in love ?
WE DONT MENTION THAT WORD
👀 why are you being so loud
sorry fam
your dumbass is finally in [redacted] ?
better
UGH I can't stand you just go work 😩
so sit
I'll block you deadass
*- before y'all try to gut me for this, this part was taken for Jooheon's latest vlive where he and Minhyuk both said they liked pineapple on pizza. idk if it's good or nah because I have never had it