I woke the next morning with her laying on my chest. The sun hadn't started to rise yet. I softly pressed my lips to the top of her head. I heard her let out a content sigh. As I laid there holding her in my arms, I realized that I would give up everything for her, including my family. She was all I would ever need. The missing piece that completed me. I didn't care about my brothers or what they would think. I cared about her. I loved her. I smiled when I felt her start to stir. She slowly sat up and looked at me.
"Morning sleepyhead." I whispered.
"Morning." She answered her voice still raspy from sleep.
"You sure about this Sel?" I asked her.
"I am." She said with complete certainty. "Are you? You have more to lose Demi if your family doesn't..."
"Shhh." I said silencing her. "You're my family now Selena. I choose you." I said softly.
"It just seems unfair. I wish it didn't have to be this way."
"Can I ask you something?" I said to her.
"Yes."
"Why did you marry him? After everything that happened that week. What didn't you just walk away then?"
"I had no idea what I was doing. I clung to the one familiar thing I had, Nate." She explained.
I frowned while I thought about what she said. It was a pretty simple explainantion. "I guess it makes sense. Either way we would've been fucked."
"Yeah." She said softly. "I should probably get up before everyone else does. Not that it's going to matter later, I just don't want him to find out this way."
"You should let me tell him."
"No. I owe him at least that much. I have to look him in the eye and tell him everything."
"I hope it's worth it Sel. I hope I'm worth it. I feel like I've left you no other choice..." I trailed off as she grabbed my hand and placed it on her chest over her heart.
"Do you feel that? You do this. My heart pounds everytime I'm close to you. I can hardly breathe when you're around." She said softly.
"This is going to be very hard for you Sel. Hurting him. Regardless of whatever issues the two of you have, it's still going to hurt. I'm going to ask you again, are you sure that this is what you want? I'm not a picnic. I come with an entirely different set of issues."
"I love you Demi. I always have and I always will and that's all I need to know."
And there it was. Those three little words. For the first time, she said them to me. I couldn't breathe. Since I have a penchant for the dramatic, I'd say the world pretty much stopped. At least for me anyway. It's amazing what a difference hearing it out loud makes. Her eyes have always given it away, but she had yet to say it. Until now.
"Baby, you look like you just discovered the meanin of life. You ok?" She asked with a shy smile.
"Absolutely." I smiled before giving her a quick kiss. "You should go before everyone wakes up."
"I'll see you later." Sh said before getting up and leaving.
I stayed in bed and tried to process everything that was happening. This is literally what I had been waiting on for over three years. I still felt terrible though. Nate was about to have his whole world turned upside down. He trusted me and I had repaid him by snatching up his wife when he wasn't looking. I hoped for Selena's sake he took it with some grace. Despite everything I think that there's a part of her that loves him. That part is about to have a very bad day.
The rest of the morning was interesting to say the least. Selena and I spent most of the morning avoiding each other after I almost kissed her in front of my mom when I came downstairs. It was awkward. We agreed to give each other space until she talked to Nate. Our body language was not subtle and we were having a hard time hiding it. We didn't want to give anything away. Not yet at least. She was going to tell Nate she was leaving him sometime today. I was extremely nervous for her.
It was late afternoon when she came out to the barn to talk to me again. I was busy shoeing horses and cleaning out the stables. She had Gracie with her.
"Hey Dem." she said nervously.
"Hi." I smiled.
"Would you mind watching Gracie for me? Nate and I are going to head out for a bit." She said as she stared intently into my eyes.
I swallowed. "Yes. I'd be happy to watch her."
"You sure? It could be awhile."
"I'm sure Sel." I said meeting her gaze. I know what she was asking. It was her way of telling me that Gracie was a part of the deal.
"Mommy's gonna go out for a bit. Demi is going to watch you." She told the three year old as she handed her off to me.
I smiled as she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. "I love you Demi." Her little voice whispered in my ear.
"I love you too princess." I whispered back into hers.
"I'll be back tonight Dem." Selena said as she walked away.
"Sel!" I called after her. "I love you."
She blew me a kiss as she walked away. Gracie giggled and smiled at me.
"What's so funny?" I asked as I tickled her.
She laughed and squealed as she tried to get away. Once I was certain she couldn't breathe anymore, I stopped so she could catch her breath.
"Demi."
"Hmm."
"I wish you were my daddy."
I had no idea what to say to that. I was completely caught off guard. Children say the craziest things sometimes. This was out of no where.
"Sweetheart, I can't be your daddy." I said softly.
"Why not? She asked looking at me with the most innocent expression.
"Because you already have a daddy." I explained.
"But I want you! You always play with me and hug me and sing with me and you smell good!" She said without taking a breath.
My heart melted. I didn't have the strength to disagree with her. "You know what, I'll be whatever you want me to be. I will always be here for you."
"Promise?" She asked tucking her chin.
"Promise." I said as I scooped her up and hugged her.
"You're squishing me!" She exclaimed.
"Sorry. I just love you that much." I smiled.
We spent the rest of day outside playing. She also helped me with some of the chores around the house and before we both knew it, the stars were out. I was a little worried about Selena. I figured that they would have been back by now. Gracie quickly grabbed my attention again however. I was laying on my stomach while she gave me directions as to how to color a picture. She was laying on my back with her chin resting on my shoulder. I laughed every time she would scold me for coloring outside the lines. I did it on purpose just to get a rise out of her. She was the cutest when she was trying to be stern. I think she gets it from her mother.
I woke up several hours later with a snoring child on my back and crayons stuck to my face. I was surprised to see Selena sitting on the couch just staring at us. I went to move, but she stopped me.
"Stay." She said quietly. "You guys are adorable." She smiled sadly.
"Are you ok?" I asked when I realized her eyes were bloodshot and she looked as if she had been crying.
"Yeah. I'm ok." She whispered. "Nate didn't take it well."
"I didn't really expect him to." I stated as she continued to look at me and Gracie.
"You know what I love the most about you?" She asked. "The way you are with her. You treat her like she's yours. She loves you so much Demi." She said as she started to cry again.
"Sel. What's wrong?" I asked her my tone serious.
"He's going to fight me for custody." She said through her tears.
I carefully sat up without disturbing Gracie. I scooped her up in my arms and took her upstairs to bed. Once I was sure she was comfortable, I went back downstairs to Selena.
"He hardly knows a thing about her Demi." She cried as I wrapped her up in my arms.
"He's not getting her Sel. I won't let it happen." I said trying to stay calm.
"He's a lawyer. He's got money..."
"I have more money than he'll ever see in a lifetime. My lawyer will eat him alive Sel. I won't let him take her."
"You would fight him? Your own brother?" She asked as she wiped away her tears.
"You're god damn right I will Sel. She's mine!" I blurted out.
"Yeah she is." Selena said softly.
I sat with her the rest of the night until she fell asleep. I carried her upstairs and put her into my bed. If he wanted a fight, he was going to get one.