Authors note!!
Comment comment comment. i'm a nice person! I love comments. Be a nice person and leave one!
By the way, Kelso is not really ten, he's thriteen. Tristan was being sarcastic when he said ten. lol. Thought i'd clear that up
*Jessie's POV*
I looked like shit. It was Monday morning, I'd over slept, had ten minutes to get ready, and I looked like shit. I was breaking out from being depressed. Little dots of acne marked my otherwise smooth skin. My hair was lank and greasy from not waking up in time to wash it. But worst had to be my eye's. They were swollen, bloodshot, and puffy from crying.
I was not happy. I looked like a stoner. And worst of all, I couldn't seem to conjure up the effort to care. Lazily, carelessly, I put on a shirt at random. I didn't bother to examine it. Then pants... I didn't want to wear jeans. To uncomfortable. I picked up track pants. Good enough.
Walking downstairs I picked up my backpack and shuffled out the door forgetting my lunch. The cool morning air didn't wake me up and refresh me like usual. Nope. It just annoyed me. I made my way to school at a turtle's pace. I slept through my classes. Part of me was yelling defiance at me, telling me to get over myself. The rest of me was ignoring him.
Lunch had to be the worst. Everyone throughout my classes had ignored me, including the classes that Vanessa was in. Yep. She certainly wasn't talking to me anymore. But at lunch, I wasn't sure what to do slowly I made my way over to our normal spot.
Vanessa, Abby, Evan, Devon, Tristan and.. .......Marco sat clustered around the table. I felt my lip tremble. Great. Just fucking great. So I guess I wasn't so special after all, huh Tristan? I'm guessing not, considering you went straight to Marco when I became not an easy enough lay.
Whatever, I told myself. But I still felt moisture dotting my eye's. Vanessa had spotted me now. She looked.. Guilty. I gave her a dirty look and she frowned. She waved her arm at me, telling me to come over. 'No fucking Way!" I mouthed to her.
Everyone else at the table now was looking. Marco looked at me spitefully.. The little bitch. Abby looked sympathetic.. Which confused me. Vanessa was still holding onto the Guilty act. Evan looked confused. Devon looked oblivious. Tristan looked mad.
I walked away, not bothering to glance back over my shoulder. I didn't have a lunch anyways. I went and on the schools lawn alone. No one bothered me for a long while. Then someone did. "Hey cutie" a voice called out. I turned my head lazily in that general direction.
A boy, one who was vaguely familiar stood a couple feet away. Had he just called me a cutie? If so, I felt the building impulse to run. He looked like a criminal. He had short hair, brown. An eyebrow piercing. Snake bites. A nose stud. It didn't help that he was tall and muscled to.
As he got closer I shrunk back. He sat down next to me, making me sit up. I was scared. He could easily beat me up, and he radiated that intimidating vibe. "Do I know you?" I asked in a small voice.
"Nope" he chuckled. I identified his voice as most definitely the one that called me a cutie.
"Oh" I mumbled, looking away.
"My name's Josh" He told me.
I nodded blankly, figuring out who he was. He hung out with the bad crowd, was a total thug, and was rumoured to do and sell drugs. Not the kind of guy I wanted to mess around with oh, he's bi-sexual by the way. "Aren't you going to introduce yourself?"
"I'm umm Jessie" I said in a small voice, looking down.
"Well Jessie, your officially invited to my party this Friday night" he winked.
I swallowed. "Oh cool" I said absentmindedly.
"Do you think you'll come?" he asked hopefully.
"No" I admitted, making him laugh.
"Well if you change your mind, I'm the house at the end of Dark Avenue"
Yes, yes you certainly are, I agreed with him in thoughts. Maybe I should go.. There'd no doubt be drugs at this party.. And they were supposed to make you happy. Maybe if I smoked a little pot I'd forget about Kelso and Tristan.
"M'kay" I murmured. He smiled, stood up, and walked away.
***********************
I haven't eaten hardly anything all week. that's not good for someone as skinny as me. By Friday I felt light headed. And no, by the way, I haven't been doing my art club sessions. I didn't want to see Tristan. Him and Marco were officially dating, and I hoped they were miserable together.
Stumbling along the sidewalk I made my way home. The sun was to hot today, making my head pound. My stomach rumbled, but I'd stopped feeling hungry half way through Wednesday. Now I just felt sick. Suddenly, my legs weren't working right.
I stumbled a little bit onto the bed of the sidewalk and collapsed. I dry heaved, but there was no food to throw up. I was very unhappy. I felt a sharp pain in my eye's, so I squeezed them shut. They refused to open again. I heard footsteps approaching me..
*Tristan's POV*
Jessie was depressed. I knew he was. He'd been coming to school wearing random shit he must have found lying around his bedroom. He took awful care of his hair. And he seemed to stumble around in a daze. Where was the cute little blondy I'd been falling for?
I think I must have broke his heart. But I couldn't help it. He'd broken mine. How could he do that to me? just leave me, simply because his brother had demanded it. His brother, that by the way, better not come near me or I'll beat the shit out of him.
This was all going through my head for the millionth time as I walked home. I rounded a corner and.. Speak of the devil. Jessie seemed to be stumbling around in a drunken daze about a mile ahead of me. Suddenly he collapsed and appeared to be puking. Horrified, I broke into a run towards him.
By the time I got there, his body had shut down. For a panicked moment, I though he was dead. But then I saw his chest rise and fall as he breathed. Relive so intense it overrode everything else flooded me. Oh thank god he was okay!
On second glance though, he wasn't so okay. He had poor coloring with almost a bluish tint. There were heavy bags under his eye's, as dark and colourful as if someone had smudged pastels there. Also. .he seemed somehow impossibly small. Even smaller then before.
I sighed.. "Jessie, what are you doing to yourself?" I asked his sleeping form. Of course I got no reply. I knew I had to pick him up and take him to his house, but I didn't want to touch him. It would remind me how much I liked him, which I didn't want.
Yes, I was dating Marco now. I didn't like him very much. He was a crappy kisser, not half as cute in looks or attitude as Jessie, and talked non stop. But Vanessa had told me to give him a chance. She claimed it would help me get over the Jessie thing.
It didn't really. But I was happy that I'd done it for one reason-it pissed Jessie off. He deserved to be pissed off to, because I certainly was. Yes I was hurt. Yes I missed him. But I was also furious with him. I thought maybe I'd be able to get him out of the closet. Apparently not.
Blinking my thoughts away, I picked him up. It was incredibly easy. He weighed no more then a chubby eight year old, so carrying him bridal style was practically effortless. His head lolled back, his neck to limp to support the weight of his head. I gazed down at him well he.. Slept.
On his freshly exposed neck was a small and fading hickey. To think that not even a full week ago I'd given him that hickey, but now I didn't have a chance with him. I sighed. I really wanted a chance with him, but he had to hold up his end of the bargain. he had to stop being ashamed of himself, and of me.
We were almost at his house when he stirred. He moved in my arms, rolling over so his face was against my chest. His eyelashes fluttered, then he was staring up at me. He blinked, rubbed his eye slowly, then focused. "What the hell!" he demanded, struggling against my arms. The effort was so weak that I had to suppress a smile.
"Cut it out" I ordered him, keeping my voice neutral.
"No!" he spit at me "Put me down! I want to go to my art group!"
"You weren't on your way to your art group when you passed out" I pointed out.
He started beating at me with his small fists.
"Cut it out" I once again said, but this time more threateningly.
"Or else what?" he demanded.
"Or else I'll knock you out again"
He stopped. "Fine. Put me down."
"No. I'm taking you home, making sure you have a good meal and then take a nap."
"Fuck you! You can't take me home! Kelso and Kelsey and Ryan will be there!"
"Fine" I said with an air of authority. "I'm taking you to my house"
"No way!"
"Yes way"
The rest of the walk home was pretty much just that. Except of course, I changed directions, heading for my house. I Think I liked Jessie better when he was asleep. Then again, by the time we'd approached my driveway, he wasn't struggling anymore. Just glaring at me through weary eye's.
"I thought you said never to talk to you again" he accused. There was hurt in his voice though.
I shrugged. "I was angry then"
He looked up at me hopefully. "Are you still angry?"
I grinded my teeth together. He looked so cute and like he was really wishing that the answer would be no. I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell him it was okay and I really waned to continue where we'd left off. But if I did that then he'd never get out of the closet. He wouldn't ever figure out that it wasn't okay to do just ditch me so his secret was safe.
"Yes" I told him, looking away.
I heard his breathing hitch, so I distracted myself from looking at his face by opening the front door. "Paul?" I callout hesitantly. If Paul's here I have to put Jessie down for fear of exposing myself. No answer. I wait for a minute, listening for the slightest creak in the floor, and when I here nothing, I carry Jessie up the stairs.
"Can you put me down now?" he complains.
"One sec"
I carry him down the hall to the guest.. I mean MY room, and I set him on my bed. He stare's at me in puzzlement well I wander around the room, making sure the windows locked. The I head for the door, calling a emotionless "I'll be right back" over my shoulder.
I head to the kitchen and rummage around. It's a shame I never really got a chance to know Jessie, because I don't know what he like's to eat. There's not much food in the house anyways. I settle for making bacon, because it's fattening and protean, and trust me, Jessie could use the calorie's.
When I re-enter the room carrying a plate with a nicely crisp pile of bacon on the plate in my hands, Jessie stare's at me like I've sprouted wings and a tail. "I know you haven't been eating" I tell him grumpily. "So your eating every bite of this."
He scowls. "My diet is really none of your business"
"Diet?" I snort. I don't think I've even meet a girl skinnier then Jessie.
"None of your business" he repeats, sneering at me.
"Well, when I catch you passing out on the sidewalk, that make's it my business. So are you going to eat this like a good boy, or do I have to call your mother?"
He take's the plate silently, and begins munching. After the first bite it become's apparent that he's starving, because he keeps stuffing the food in his mouth, barely pausing to swallow. Damn, for something so small he ate like he was huge.
"Take it easy" I warned "you might throw up"
Despite my warning he finished the entire plate and licked it clean. I, of course, being the sexually drove horn dog that I am, had to look away for the licking part. When he was finished I tore the plate from his grasp and set it on my end table.
He sighed, ruffling his bangs that were once again, covering his face. "Can I leave now?" he asked exasperated, like having eaten bacon was touchier.
"No, your going to stay the night. That way I know for sure that you got a good night sleep"
"No!" he yelped, then lowered his voice "I mean.."
"Exactly, you have no good reason not to" I pointed out.
"Actually, I have three" he said spitefully.
"Oh really? What are they?" I enquired sarcastically amused.
"First, you have a boyfriend-" I cut him off
"-That has nothing to do with-" he spoke over me
"-Second, I have a party to go to tonight" I had no reply for that one.
"And third?" I asked venomously.
"You not my mom" he hissed.
I glared. "Well I'm guessing your mom doesn't know"
"Know what?" he sneered.
"That your depressed"
"I am not depressed!" he shouted, a little to loud.
"Tristan? Where are you?" we both froze as the third voice rang from his front door.
"I'm in here Marco" I called back, pushing away the fear. It's not like I'd done anything wrong, right? Jessie seemed to think I did, because he jumped up, his eye's darting around for a hiding spot. I grabbed his wrist and jerked him back onto the bed.
"Didn't you get my ...." Marco trailed off as he opened the door to see me and Jessie. His eye's rested on Jessie hatefully. "Text" he finished his sentence, in a strained voice. I shook my head, playing dumb to his anger. "No sorry. Jessie passed out, so I took him home to see if he was alright"
"Yes, and I'll be leaving now" he mumbled, standing up.
As he walked past Marco, Marco bumped into him, putting his mouth close to Jessie's ear. "If your trying to steal my man you little bitch, you better watch it" I scoffed from where I stood. "Marco! Don't fucking talk like Jessie to that. And Jessie, I told you already. You. Are. NOT. Leaving"
Marco gave me a Your-kidding-right? Look, well Jessie stared at me through large eye's.
"Are you serious Tristan? You'd rather defend this little whore then your BOYFRIEND" he spit.
"Make that ex boyfriend" I said coldly, giving him a cold look.
Marco and Jessie's eyebrows flew up. "Now get out" I ordered carelessly.
"Fine" he snapped, stalking out of the room, then the house altogether.
"I can't believe you just did that!" Jessie gasped.
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Sorry bout this chapter. I actually kind of like it, but it's really random, so alot of you will probably be like 'Wtf' ?