16th ♕
At far sight, they said that there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. All my life, I kept on searching for it—the hope that life would get better. I didn't dream of the impossible before. I just wanted to have a life that wasn't mine. Complications that weren't mine, either. Sometimes, I wondered what if I had the life that other girl in the room had. Would I have felt differently?
Or, like me, maybe there were also scars that she was trying to conceal. Things she never wanted to talk about. A night she wished didn't happen. Bruises that she'd do anything to escape from. Things she'd prevent herself from hearing outside a closed door. That red truck she saw leaving when she was a child. The days she spent eating alone in a restroom cubicle. The hurtful words she wished people would just keep to themselves.
I didn't know. But maybe, like me, she also felt hideous.
"Princess, shall we go?" Jack asked me. "It's not safe for you to be out here."
We were standing outside an empty lot, going through the calm before another surge of the storm. I should have been back to Winterlace Palace last night, the walls that kept me safe from everything else but myself. But I didn't. I had stayed with Pete and his mom.
"What will everyone say?" I held my head against the chain link fence that surrounded an empty block, a little way from the palace. This was where I'd asked Jack for a stopover, because I felt the awful need to breathe.
"The news isn't positive, Princess. I'm sorry," Jack replied.
Sooner or later, I knew things would get really bad. But Robin telling the whole world things like that, it was plain absurd. I'd rather be hurt by the things I knew were true. To be hurt by things that I didn't even do myself, what kind of injustice was that?
"You tried your best to stop the broadcast of that interview, Princess. We all did," Jack consoled me. "We all tried."
"I know. And I'm sorry." The broadcast was short enough that the moment we all tried calling in, it was already over. Robin said what he had wanted to say. The rest of the kingdom was left dumbfounded. My phone rung until the battery ran out. Who knew what else had happened?
"It's not your fault, Princess. People would say what they wanted to say, regardless of the truth or the people they would hurt." Jack put a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"I'm so angry at everything, Jack." I started to flippantly kick the fence out of frustration. Jack received a call, so I poured all my anger on the green fence. It was sturdy enough, so I didn't hesitate. And the street was deserted; Jack and I were the only ones around.
"Princess, that was Ms. Kingsburry. She wanted us to carry on with your schedule. We must head over to the orphanage, your first schedule for today," Jack was telling me.
"We would go on like nothing happened?" I asked him, confused.
"Yes, Ms. Lenora is also on her way here. She'll handle the preparations. Ms. Kingsburry will be meeting us at the orphanage," Jack told me.
"What about Art?" I asked, realizing that we had a whole day scheduled together.
Jack was silent for a minute.
"There was no mention of him. He probably didn't want to see me," I presumed, trying not to show the gallon of regret that washed over me. "That was expected."
"I'm sorry, Princess." Jack lowered his head, sounding contrite
"It's okay." I let out a small laugh, trying to hold it in. "I know where he's coming from. I would have done the same thing. I mean, I'm the one who keeps on making him look bad to the public. All those years of building up his image and I'm needlessly picking on it."
Jack shook his head in disagreement. "Princess, do not blame yourself."
"I should, though," I said. "I'm making things harder for everyone."
"We're part of a team, Princess. It's our job to go through things together with you. If the palace was looking for a born and made princess, they would have narrowed their choices to the daughters of the noble family," Jack said to me.
"Oh," I said, taken aback. "So they wanted a challenge? Hard to deal with girls?"
"Queen Elicia said that she wanted different girls to wear their own tiaras. That for each, it will hold a different meaning. It will bring out a special brilliance from inside you."
"Wear it proud. Put it on and hold your head high," I continued the Queen's words. This was one of the many reasons why she was my life hero.
"We're always here for you, Princess. It's not just my job to make sure that you will be out of danger's way. It's also my job to protect you from other things that could hurt you."
I felt touched. "Thanks, Jack."
"They say that keeping all your feelings inside is not healthy. I'll be here to listen. You should speak your thoughts, Princess. I'm sure it would make you feel better."
I gave him a smile. "Thank you for always being around. I already said half of what's going on in my head. I already feel better."
"I'm glad to hear that, Princess." Then, looking afar, Jack continued, "Ms. Lenora and her team are here. Are you ready for today?"
"I'll live through," I simply answered.
As soon as the minibus was right across from where we were, I was summoned inside. Lenora was waiting for me, an indiscernible expression shown on her face. Unsure if I should move or sit or do anything, I stood perfectly still in place, holding the railing.
"Put the clothes I've prepared on her," Lenora instructed her assistants, completely avoiding my gaze. Lenora was also mad at me, noted.
I should just check the whole world.
☑ Whole World
With the exception of:
☐Jack
☐Pete
They were the most supportive.
"I'll be in the car, Princess. Please wait for me first before coming down the bus, okay?" Jack asked from behind me, as I was standing there and Lenora's assistants were doing their magic.
"Okay," I replied. Nervousness sunk in as Jack went down the bus. After he left, I quietly told the others, "I'm very sorry for everything, you guys."
"I'm on your side, George. No matter what happens. There has to be someone," Lenora told me, as she was tucking my hair in a braid. Forcefully. Nope, she was only saying that. "Seriously. The situation gets me mad, but I'm always on your side."
"How bad?" I asked her, keeping my hopes up and reality in place.
"We're trying to act that the news is not flipping the palace upside down. You sure are one famous girl. Every guy wants you," Lenora replied, holding a hair spray from my face.
I closed my eyes. "Even the ones I thought I was through with."
"Have you two dated before?"
"We did not."
"So why did he have pictures?"
"I used to like him, but we didn't become official or anything."
"Right. Complicated things like that. Pete's father and I used to be like that, and now look at where we are," Lenora said, putting one final hairpin under my right ear to finish the half crown braid and pulling the rest of my hair in front. Pete's father had left them before Pete was born. Lenora had become a workaholic after, far too determined to succeed and give Pete a better life. Abram was the closest thing to a father figure to Pete.
After she was done, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. "That looks nice."
"We have to try and resurrect every possible charm in your body," Lenora said.
"For?"
"To state our point that you have no idea what that Robin is saying."
"I don't see the hair relevance to that."
"But I do," she said.
I nodded in agreement, warily placing my hands on my legs as Lenora's team finished the rest of my look for today. And in case I'd end up beaten down and crying, they specifically used waterproof mascara. There must be an acting workshop included on my schedule. Or life would be extra harsh today.
It was the second one, definitely.
♔~♕
"I told you not to stir any news," were the first words I heard from Bridge. She had at least five newspaper tucked under her right arm. Handing them over to one of the entourage, she opened her planner to today's date. "And you've managed to come up with a very good one."
And I had far worse things in store.
"I'm sorry. I know you're probably tired of hearing this already, but I'm really sorry," I said in a low voice.
"There's only one thing that I want to know," she said. "Tell me, is it true or false?"
"False. Robin made up the whole story. A few years ago, I thought we had something, but then he started going out with someone else. That's everything," I answered.
"Okay. We'll sue them," Bridge said, typing on her phone. "I've been suing them since last night."
"Really?" I tried not to laugh if it would so turn out that she was serious about it. The bags under her eyes could attest that she had another rough night. I'd surely make Bridge skip her late twenties and head straight to fifty with all the problems I had been giving her. I should tell Jack to convince her to take yoga classes with him.
"Mildly putting it. We'll see what they'll do," Bridge said. "Come on, let's move. First thing for this morning is your orphanage visit. After that, a quick trip to the market. But we'll talk it through if it will be safe for you to be out there today. Our last agenda is a visit to the newly opened ice rink nearby the park, The Ice Palace. You will be promoting it."
"I will?"
"Art will join you. He'll come later," Bridge answered. "And you have a photoshoot scheduled next Tuesday."
"With Art?"
She nodded.
"He must be mad at me," I muttered.
"He's not angry with you." She lifted her gaze from her phone to look at me. "He only needs some time to think."
"How did you know?"
"Where's my heart if I can't even ask something like that?" She was still intently typing on her phone, suing everyone.
"Thanks?"
"Yes, okay. For now, let's get moving," Bridge instructed, leading us along to the orphanage's front door, where a group of kids with one middle-aged woman was waiting.
Like usual, I pulled my lips into a smile. When you were a public figure, you would smile. No matter how confused you were, how big your problems were, or if you were wondering if your personal state of perplexity was still looking at the bright side or the clouds had already dimmed it, you would keep that smile on your face.
"Hello. Welcome to The House of Hope," greeted a woman. The kids scampered around us, asking questions and tugging our clothes.
"Hi," I said, waving a hand to the little ones. They were cute. I wanted to pinch some cheeks, but I refrained from doing so. Even if it wasn't stated during our briefing, it was an unspoken rule not to hurt the kids in any way.
"Your Highness." The kind looking woman with bright blue eyes slightly bowed her head towards me. "Thank you for coming to our humble place."
"No, no," I quickly responded, unable to hide my shock. "Please, don't do that. I'm not the princess or anything."
Bridge cleared her throat again. "You will be, Georgiette. Stop acting frantic."
Never. I'd rather not hear it, or even have the slightest idea to let myself fancy the thought. That would be so wrong. "Still, I'm just a normal girl right now. I'm not a royalty. George will do."
"Please call her Georgiette if you'd prefer that over Her Highness," Bridge specifically told her.
"No, Your Highness. We couldn't. Let us call you with enough respect. I'm Rosa, Your Highness." She curtsied this time around. What could I possibly do? Bluntly expose the truth why I wouldn't be that princess?
Settling for a polite handshake, I extended my hand to her. "It's nice to meet you, Rosa."
Rosa warmly shook it. "Please, come in. Welcome to our home."
I was about to go inside, but someone held me back, tugging the hem of my dress. Jack and a few others stayed with me outside, as Bridge moved forward and led the rest of the brigade, not having a clue that I had been held back.
By a cute little kitten.
She had a beautiful set of eyes, a forest of it. And they were glistening, as she shouted, "Princess! I love your special braid. Can you do that my hair?"
"Hi there, what's your name?" I asked her.
"It's Sheena. You?"
"George," I replied.
"You have a boy name," Sheena laughed.
"I was named after a boy. Mom thought I would be a boy," I explained to her. "But she also gave me another name, Elise. So I have two names."
"I have three!" she exclaimed, her eyes beaming. "It's so amazing! We have many names!"
"Three? Wow. That is so cool," I said with the same level of excitement. Her smile was contagious. "What are your three names?"
"Sheena..." She counted her fingers. With a pause, she continued, "Marie... Anne."
"Sheena Marie Anne? Such a pretty name," I said, placing my hands on her cheeks. I wasn't pinching anyone. I was only trying to pop the bubble in her mouth. Lightly.
Sheena giggled.
"How old are you?"
"Four. You?" she said, popping the words and showing me three little fingers.
"Eighteen," I said back.
"How many is eightween?" She looked up to me, confused.
"Many years. Almost five times Sheena's age," I told her.
"Then you're old like Mommy Rosa?" Sheena asked.
"Old." I was unsure how to tell her that I must be one third of Rosa's age as she was quarter fourth of mine. But settling for just that, I said to her, "Yes, we're old. I guess."
"If you're old, you..." Sheena gave it a thought. Then gathering her long black hair and showing it to me, she finished, "You can also do my hair!"
I thought we were over that.
"Do you really want me to do your hair?" I carefully repeated, trying not to panic about the fact that I didn't know anything about hairstyles, except for ponytail. "I have a friend who is really good with hairs. She made mine, you see. Do you want me to call her?"
Sheena didn't respond, looking down to her worn out shoes.
"Do you want something else?" I asked. How would I make her feel better if I had no idea how to braid hairs? How about a wrestling match instead?
"I want a braid just like yours. You are so pretty. I want to be pretty, too," she said, sniffing.
"You are pretty. Look at those beautiful eyes of yours, little princess." I took her hands in mine, sitting on my heels.
"I'm not. I don't know how to be pretty," she replied.
Giving her hands a little squeeze, I asked, "Do you know the Queen?"
She met my eyes. "The one in TV?"
"Yes, that one. She said, here is pretty." I placed my hand over my heart. "Here is where you are pretty."
"Here?" Sheena also placed her right hand over her chest.
I moved it a little to the left. "Do you feel that? It's the one that goes thump, thump, thump. Your heart is where you are pretty. If you keep your heart pretty, it will show."
"It's moving!" she said with a beaming smile. "Does that mean I'm pretty now?"
"Yes, always," I assured her.
"But I still want a braid," she cooed after. I awkwardly slumped to the floor. She turned around and moved back closer to me. "Please do my hair, pretty princess?"
She used please.
Now, what?
"Oh, okay." Sitting on the floor might not be the thing Bridge wanted me to do. But she wasn't around, and a little girl here wanted me to braid her hair. Whichever way I'd do that. But maybe this was easy. You'd just have to twist everything. "Should I?"
Sheena blissfully nodded her head.
"Okay, here goes." I tried grabbing a section of her hair and hoped that a miracle would occur and my hands would braid Sheena's hair on their own.
Sadly, five minutes later, I knew it wasn't working.
"You're taking long time. Is my hair bad?" Sheena asked me.
"No!" I quickly replied. "Your hair's fine. More than fine."
It was me, not you. This speech would work fine here. I seriously had no idea how to do this. No matter how much I twisted and turned the strands of hair, no braid came out. How many strands should I use? Five? Six? Seven? Eight? I was trying five now. Nope, it was not working.
"Do you need help?" A voice asked me from behind, which made me jump a little from where I was sitting. "I know how to braid."
Jack? You also knew this? Were you born and raised in a salon? How many secrets of you I'd yet to know?
But no, it was a girl's voice.
I turned around and saw Love, my ex-best friend and more like enemy now. She was standing behind me, in a set of clothes I recognized was also from Lenora's line. We were wearing her latest collection. Then, with her ever present smile, she moved forward, taking a seat beside me. What was she up to this time?
"May I?" Love courteously asked, pointing to Sheena's hair.
I didn't say anything, convincing myself to hold back. I'd save my words for later. I couldn't lose my cool here at the orphanage. These kids were too young to know that their best playmate might betray them later on when they grew up.
Giving Sheena's hair to her, I patiently said, "Another big sister will do it for you, Sheena. Will that be okay?"
Sheena looked back, asking, "You have a pretty sister, too? Is she also a princess?"
I forgot. We were in princess land here.
"Yes, she is." Regrettably, it might be soon, too.
"Woah!" Sheena was happy enough to be surrounded by two princesses. Three, including her. To Love, she exclaimed, "You're so pretty! You are the prettiest!"
"Thank you," Love replied, patting her head.
"Princess!" Sheena repeated to Love.
"Okay, okay," Love said, chortling. "Let me do your hair, beautiful."
Sheena happily agreed, smiling giddily.
A few minutes later, Sheena finally had a beautiful braided hair. She gratefully showed her appreciation by kissing both of us on the cheek. After that, she skipped to the playground and played with her own best friend.
When she was out of hearing range, I said to Love, "Are you and Robin up to something? Seriously, I have no idea why you two are doing this to me."
"I'm not with Robin. I'm on your side from now on," Love said, slowly and clearly.
"Like the fact that you're everywhere. Do not sweet talk me. You wear the same clothes that I do. The only difference is now I'm the one being chased by the reporters. I'm the one they're calling princess. Soon enough, if things go your way, you'll be that girl. Isn't that the plan? Isn't that why you're here? Isn't that why of everyone who have experienced this princess-in-training, I'm the only one forced to be acquainted with the first runner up?"
"George, I told them we're friends. It wasn't for—"
I held a hand in front of her. "Do not bother making excuses. I know what's going on. I know the game they're all playing. I'm their wild card. You're their sure bet."
"George, it's not like that. I couldn't avoid—" Love tried to explain, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.
I shoved her hand away. "It will take a million years for me to believe that. You can start right now. I'm counting. One."
"George, what should I do for you to believe me?"
"Two."
Love protested, "George!"
"Three."
"Fine. You're mad," she said, giving up. "I'm sorry about everything. Tell me what I should do to make it up to you."
"Nothing. Because that's not going to happen," I said, throwing her a warning glance, before turning away.
♔~♕
We had lunch with the staff and the kids from the orphanage. Love sat beside me all throughout the meal, and I also had to pretend that we were old best friends.
She had willingly shared some of our childhood stories. How I used to stand up for her whenever she was bullied, punching whoever would pick on her snaggletooth. Then she told them how I had supported her throughout the years she had those braces, laughing along with the group when she said that I then stood up against those who would tease her about her braces.
Ah, the good old times. I was always at the principal's office.
Hearing these words from her, I wanted to suggest that she should include the stories a little later after that. When she had decided to sweet-talk our friends to her side. When she had decided that I was a threat and I needed to be disposed. Why not that story? It was far more interesting.
Placing down my utensils, as the stories were dwindling to an end, I finally spoke, "It would have been better if fairytales stayed as fairytales, continued as fairytales, and ended as fairytales."
"Yes. Isn't that the rest of the story, Your Highness?" Rosa gleefully asked me.
I only half-smiled in response.
Our visit to the orphanage ended a little after two in the afternoon, and we had to say goodbye to the kids. Minus the presence of Love all around the place, it was a fun experience. I promised Sheena that I'd be back, and she taught me how to make a promise with our pinky fingers.
As we were in the parking lot, a flock of reporters swarmed the iron fence near our cars. They took candid shots and shouted questions to us.
Or at least half of them were directed to me.
"George, one look here, please!"
"George, what can you say about the news last night?"
"Is it true that you're only putting on a show with Prince Art? Who is your true lover?"
I told myself to hang on. Bridge had instructed me to refrain from saying anything to them. The press office would release an official statement tomorrow morning.
And the thing about the mob—composed of reporters or just normal people—they were not all nice. Like what Jack said, some would just say things without considering that they were talking to a fellow human being. Blunt. Without forewarning that they would hurt you.
"Princess Georgiette!" someone called, and I looked in his direction as I was about to get inside the car. "So are you the royal whore now? Dating two guys at the same time? Is it nice?"