I was sat at my desk, Liv sitting beside me when Cole crutched into the room. His head was down, and I noticed his hair had grown slightly longer, falling in front of his face more. Liv and I watched as he slowly propped his crutches against the wall and hopped over to the chair in front of us.
"Hi, Cole," I said with a smile, and he reached up to push the strands of hair away from his face.
"Can I ask you something?" he said suddenly, and I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Um, sure... what's up?" I asked.
"When are you going to leave me alone about this?" he asked, his light eyes staring into mine.
Liv and I flinched against this question. My heart sunk to my stomach, as I couldn't help but feel bad for the poor kids. They wanted to move past it, but we needed answers.
"As soon as we get the answers we need," Liv responded for me, reaching across me to grab some of my old notes.
"Well, how much more could I tell you? You pretty much know everything," he said, his voice heavy with aggravation. "I want to forget this happened, and you're making it really hard to do that."
"Unfortunately, I feel like you aren't telling us everything," Liv said, her voice gentle. "And we need your help, because you're the most compliant."
His eyes widened a little bit, and he shifted in the chair. "How... what makes you think that I'm not telling you everything?"
"I've been here long enough to know when somebody's keeping something," Liv sifted through the notes.
Cole appeared nervous as I then took over.
"We want you to know that, if you haven't seen the news, we found two young girls in Emilio's attic," I told him.
Something completely shifted in his demeanor - his face paled and his eyes were wide as he stared at the floor. "Are you serious?" was all he could say - his words hardly came out.
"Yes, and those two girls were found because of you. You spoke up, you and Bella. So he's in custody now, waiting to be prosecuted. In the mean time, we know that there are other people involved in this," I started. "People like Rose's boyfriend, people like Steven."
I watched Cole's breathing pick up, and he shook his head. "I already told you I don't know who that is."
"Okay," I told him calmly. "Then you don't have to say anything, but if you don't... just know there's other kids like you... like Bella, like Elliot, like those two girls. And they can be in danger if you don't give us the information we need."
"The two girls said that they believe Emilio is the mastermind of the recent kidnappings around the country," Liv intervened. "And they told me they've heard him mention Steven several times."
"And Rose called you Steven-"
"Steven was her husband," Cole admitted, and Liv jotted it down almost instantly. "He's dead. He's been dead for some time, she - she told me."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Did Rose confide in you often?"
Cole stared at his lap, before he rubbed his eyes. "Not... not me. Whenever... whenever she would bring me into a different room, she would think... think that I was Steven."
"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice as soft and quiet as possible. I could tell he was uncomfortable, with the way he was fidgeting with the band of his sweatshirt and the flushed colour of his cheeks.
He took a deep breath. "She hated me when she thought I was her son. But when I was 'Steven', she would say stuff like, 'You left me. You pretended to die to get rid of me', stuff like that," he trailed off, before he shook his head. "She was fucking insane."
"What else would she tell you?" I asked him.
He stared at the floor in thought. "She told me that she wished 'we' had real kids, so she wouldn't have had to steal kids instead. I would tell her over and over that I wasn't him. But she took that as Steven telling her that he didn't want to have kids with her, so she started to hate 'Steven.'"
I was confused and appalled by the severity of this. She was aware that she kidnapped children, but she still tried to pass them as her own.
"She never had kids, but she acted like she once did," his chest was heaving at this point. "I know she didn't."
"So... she thought you were her son and Steven at the same time?" I asked, trying to understand.
He looked at me and nodded. He looked pale. "There's got to be videos somewhere. She recorded me multiple times - and she had a diary. I saw it once, in her bag."
I looked at Liv. There was a diary and more video evidence somewhere in that house, and I made sure to jot that down.
"Why would she alternate you between her son and Steven?" Liv asked, clearly trying to gather all of this information as well. "I mean, would something trigger a switch between the two?"
Cole swallowed. "No, ah, she would just... come in the room while Bella and Elliot were sleeping. She would bring me into a different room, and that's when she would think I was him. She would talk to me... hurt me, depending on her mood, and she would also... she would..." he shook his head and stopped talking.
There were a few seconds of silence, before Liv spoke up.
"What would she do, sweetie?" Liv asked, her voice quiet.
"She- she fucking used me as a toy," his voice shook and his eyes were rimmed with red.
I looked at Liv, worry embedded in my stare.
"It's okay, honey," Liv told him, her voice soft and gentle. "It's okay."
Cole rubbed his eyes, before he looked back at the floor.
"I feel gross because of it. She was... she was disgusting," he said, his breath heavy.
"It's not your fault, okay? Please understand that. She was really, really sick," Liv comforted him.
Cole nodded in response. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were down, it was clear he didn't want to speak about this.
"When she would bring you into the room to do that, would she give you drugs?" Liv asked him, her voice careful.
He cleared his throat. "Yeah, she would uh, force me to drink alcohol, she would try to give me cocaine," he told her. "Then when... when she wanted to, she would hold a knife to my neck and force me to swallow a pill."
"What kind of pill?" I asked.
Cole shifted in his seat, before he shook his head and closed his eyes.
"I don't know... it was a pill and it made my... my um, my body... cooperate with what she wanted... even when I didn't w-want it," he spoke, his voice raspy. I knew just what he meant and it was killing me to watch him suffer like this.
Silence filled the room as Liv took notes of what he was saying. I looked over to see him breathing heavily.
"Do you want to talk about it, sweetheart?" she asked, her voice so soft it was almost a whisper.
Cole shook his head, his light eyes refusing to make eye contact with either of us.
I reached out to put my hand on his shoulder, and he flinched away from me immediately. I had to remember to stop making sudden movements around him.
"I really don't feel good," he said, his voice hoarse.
"Okay," I said, standing up quickly as he looked like he would vomit any second. Liv stood up with me, instantly moving towards the door.
"I'll get him water," she said, walking out, before I moved the garbage in front of him.
Cole suddenly started throwing up, and I felt absolutely disgusted with myself. I had pushed him to his limit. I knew he was traumatized and I pushed him.
I rested my hand on his back, rubbing it gently as he finished coughing. His eyes were red as he groaned under his breath and spit into the garbage.
I allowed him to get himself together before I spoke again.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly, my heart racing. I couldn't have felt worse than I did in that moment.
"I needed to get it off my chest," he said timidly, rubbing his hands over his face. "I- I can't think about it without getting sick."
"Okay, well we're done now. I think you've had enough, and I promise that won't happen again. Are your parents out there waiting?" I asked, standing up and reaching out to help him stand.
He ignored it and stood up himself, reaching over to grab his crutches. "Yeah, my father is."
I walked him out, helping him as he crutched towards the doorway. Liv came over with water, handing me the water and looking at Cole with sympathy clear in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sweetie," she said to him.
"You don't have to say that," Cole said to her, before walking over to his father.
His father was standing in the lobby. He looked over to see us walking towards him, and his thick eyebrows furrowed as he looked at his son.
"Hi, Mr. Mancini, my name is James Rocklin, I'm-" I started, but I was quickly interrupted by his father.
"Hai un aspetto terribile. Cosa è successo lì dentro?" his father said aggressively to him.
Cole faltered beneath his father's seemingly angry tone and looked at me. "He doesn't speak English very well."
"Is he mad about something?" I asked, trying not to be rude but I didn't know how else to speak to his father.
"He's concerned - I don't exactly look the best right now," he replied, turning to speak to his dad before I stopped him.
"Can you tell him that I think you should get therapy?" I whispered, and Cole shook his head.
"Fuck no, there's no way in Hell I'm telling him that," Cole said.
"Then how can I tell him, Cole? Because you-" I started, but he interrupted me.
"God, you're annoying," he said, his words surprising me.
"Yeah, I am. But I just want you to be okay," I told him with a shrug. I felt like I was speaking to my own son.
"Just drop it - how many times do I have to say that? If you all just leave me alone I'll be fine, got it?" Cole said. His piercing irises were surrounded by red veins.
I nodded, the lump in my throat preventing me from saying anything else. My heart was in the pit of my stomach - it felt as if I had swallowed a handful of nails and the room was extremely suffocating. I had pushed an innocent child to the point of anxiety - what the hell was wrong with me?
I watched as he turned away from me. I waved to both him and his father as they continued out the door, and I felt nauseous.
This case had me on the brink of insanity.