A/N: The song is by Aaron Lewis it's called "Tangled Up In You."
She had completely pissed me off. Once I finished with the show, I immediately got into my limo and left the venue, with Naya. I'd had it with all of her childish fucking games. I was way too invested to be treated like that. I wouldn't do it to her. She was being completely unfair. Honestly, I think she was starting to lose her damn mind. I wish she'd just open her fucking eyes and leave him. She could do it gracefully and in the end no one would need to know why. I knew she wouldn't and I was beginning to think that maybe I should get out before we get in deeper than we already are. I loved her and she wouldn't even let me say it.
"You're preoccupied." I heard Naya say.
"Sorry. Rough night." I explained.
"You have the look of someone with woman troubles." She said raising an eyebrow.
"Is it that obvious?" I sighed.
"It's Selena. I knew the second I met her." She said with a smirk.
"Well that's just fan-fucking-tastic." I said.
"It wasnt blatantly obvious or anything." she said trying to reassure me. "It was the way she looked at me. The jealousy. It gave it away. No one else would've noticed though. She's quite good at hiding things. I almost didn't catch it." She explained.
"In any event, I can't really have people knowing this shit." I grumbled.
"I won't say anything. I'm not a bitter backstabbing bitch." She said touching my hand. "Come on. Let's party our asses off." She smiled as the limo came to a stop in front of the club.
As soon as the car door opened we entered the building. We drank and danced the night away. In all honesty I had no recollection of anything. I was blackout drunk. As I woke up, I was distinctly aware of two things. The first thing was my head felt like it had been smacked with a sledgehammer. The second, I was not alone in my bed. The more awake and aware I became, the more I realized about my surroundings. I was in a hotel and I was naked.I carefully poked the body laying next to me and my hand was quickly smacked away.
"What the hell." I heard a voice mumble. She lifted her head and looked at me with one eye open. It was Naya.
"Did we...?"
"Oh shit!" She exclaimed sitting up and grabbing her head. "I think so." She mumbled.
"Sonofabitch."
"Well, this is slightly awkward." She laughed. "We need to be chill about this. You're a good friend and honestly I don't really remember it so technically it didn't happen." She said grimacing. "My head fucking hurts..." She trailed off.
"This is stupid." I muttered. "I'm never drinking again."
Suddenly without warning, Naya starting laughing. In all honesty the situation was so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh as well. It was the most excruciating laughter I'd ever experienced due to the massive hangover I was experiencing, but it was quite liberating. We took showers and then ordered room service. The real fun didn't start until we decided to check our phones.
"My publicist called me like 20 times." Naya said frowning at her phones screen.
She put it up to her ear and played one of the several voicemails. Her mouth dropped open.
"Demi! We need to check our instagrams!"
"Oh shit! What the fuck did we do?" I asked as I opened the app. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I scrolled through the pictures. "This is bad." I said as I saw photo of me face down in a strippers boobs.
The next photo was no better.
"Look at this one." Naya said as she handed me her phone.
It was a picture of me and her kissing. I had my hand planted firmly on her ass.
"We need to delete these." I groaned.
"I agree, but the damage is done. They've been up for almost 8 hours. They are not going to go away any time soon." She said.
"Yeah. I know." I said grimly.
We both spent the next hour or so talking with our various handlers and once we finished dealing with how to handle what would probably be a PR nightmare, we checked out of the hotel.
As soon as we stepped out the entrance there were paps and reporters everywhere. It was annoying. I knew there had to be something more important to report other than what I did my with vagina last night.
I grabbed Naya's hand as we walked through the crowd, which hotel security kept at bay long enough for us to jump into the waiting SUV. Once we got to the airport, we got checked in and settled in for our flight back to LA. I was spotted by a few fans and took a couple pictures with them, Naya did the same.
Once we made it back to LA, Naya and I went our seperate ways. I entered my house and frowned. It felt cold and empty. I opened up the windows and curtains to make it feel more lively. I was dreading talking to Selena. Normally I would have heard from her by now. She had to have seen the pictures and I'm sure she was pissed. Honestly, she really had no justification to be mad but it didn't matter, she wouldn't see it that way. She must have known I was thinking about her because suddenly I heard my phone make a noise indicating I had a text from Selena.
Did you have fun?
Don't start with me.
Start what? It's just a question.
Whatever.
I'm not trying to fight Demi.
You're being passive aggressive Sel, I'm not stupid. I know you've seen the pictures and I know you've put two and two together. Yes, Naya and I fucked. And no I'm not sorry.
Wow. That's real nice Demi.
Go say hi to your husband for me.
You're an asshole.
So I've been told.
Demi. I'm really not trying to fight. I wanted to tell you something. It's important.
If its so important why don't you call?
Too many ears...
Sel, what do you want?
You. I'm going to leave him.
Seriously? When?
Soon. I need to wait until he gets done with this case. I don't want to hurt him while he's working on it. It could destroy his career and he doesn't deserve that.
Are we really going to do this?
Yes.
I love you Sel.
I know.
I immediately noticed she didn't say it back. It was slightly alarming, but I decided not to push the issue. I felt slightly panicked now that we were actually having this conversation. I wasn't sure what we would do moving forward. How do you even gracefully have an open relationship with your brothers ex? I was beginning to get a headache just thinking about it. This was all so ridiculous to me.
I'll see you in Montana
She didn't respond. I decided to get everything I'd need packed. I was anxious to see her. She seriously made me feel bipolar. One minute I wanted to kill her and the next I just wanted to hold her and never let go. She wasn't hard to love, it was just a complicated situation. She was honestly one of the most easy going and free spirited people I knew. This affair has literally turned her into a nut job. She worried constantly. Sometimes, I felt like a burden to her. She wanted to give me everything, but she couldn't. Sometimes I worried that she loved him more. She's never actually told me she loved me. This worried me a little. Like I said before, it was alarming. How could you leave your husband for someone that you've never confessed your love for? I finished packing, and went to sleep. I had a long summer ahead of me.
I met Shane at the baggage claim. I was so happy to see him. He looked good. He and Taylor had been doing really well. If you asked me, she was perfect for him. She tolerated just enough of his bullshit to keep him grounded. I was looking forward to working on the ranch this summer. I was still seriously contemplating leaving LA and my entire career behind and coming back here permanently. I was tired. I wasn't old enough to feel as exhausted as I did.
We drove to the ranch in a comfortable silence. I knew he was dying to give me shit about the whole Naya thing. I was suprised when he didn't. He was probably saving it for later. Asshole. Once we made it to the ranch I hugged my mom and dad and got unpacked and changed. I wanted to take a ride so I laced up my boots, buckled up my spurs and headed out to the horse corral.
I made my way along the ridge line, and sure enough he was out there as well, my grizzly. I took my lever action 30/30 out of my saddle holster and sighted in on the massive beast. He was standing on his hind legs sniffing the air. As I stared at him down the sights of my rifle, he spotted me. He was about fifty yards away. Too my surprise, he just stood there and stared.
After several moments, I lowered my rifle. I still couldn't do it. I watched as he lowered down to all fours and walked back into the forest. I let out a long sigh, and continued along the ridge. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to pull the trigger. For whatever reason I felt connected to the animal. It was as if he represented the beast inside of me. Just like him, I was wild and untamed. Killing him, killed my spirit. I made a mental note to talk to Benji about this. He would have a better understanding of these sort of things.
I spent the next two days roaming the ranch property. It had been a longtime since I'd had so much open space to myself. I cleared my head and finally decided what I wanted out of life. I wanted this. I wasn't leaving. My father was getting old and I knew that Shane needed help around here. We had ranch hands, but this land belonged to my family and it was our job to take care of it. I was rooted here. When I died, I would be buried here. It took me several hours to make it back to the house. My back was sore and my ass was numb.
"There she is." Shane said as I rode toward the corral.
"Hey fucker!" I said trying to hit him with one of the reins. He ducked out of the way.
"How was your ride?" He asked as I dismounted.
"Refreshing and eye opening." I said with a smile. I loosened the saddle and pulled it of the horse.
"I was beginning to think you got lost or were eaten." He said with a grin, as I brushed the horse down and released it into the corral.
"You're stupid!" I said punching his arm. "I know this land better than anyone asshole!" I said with a smirk. "Nate here yet?" I asked casually.
"Nope. Not for a couple more days." He answered.
"Good." I stated.
"Wow. Someone not getting along with their kid brother?" He asked.
I laughed. "No we're good." I said without elaborating any further.
"So, someone had a good time in Chicago." He said waggling his eyebrows. I immediately pushed him into the water trough.
"You asked for it buddy." I said pretending to scold him as he sat there and pushed his wet hair out of his face.
"You're so fuckin dead!" He exclaimed as he jumped up and I took off sprinting toward the house.
"Mom!" I yelled as I tried to keep from laughing. "Help!"I quickly made it to the house and found her in the kitchen.
"What is all this fuss about?" She asked confused.
I laughed as Shane stomped into the kitchen, dripping wet.
"What the hell?" I heard my mother exclaim. "Boy, you better get outside before I whoop you. Dripping water all over the place..." She said to my brother.
"I'm gonna get you back." Shane warned as he went outside.
"Thanks mom." I smiled giving her a kiss on the cheek.
After dinner, I grabbed a glass and poured me some Jack and went upstairs. So much for never drinking again, I thought. I sat on my bed and played my guitar. I had a few days prepare myself for the madness that is Selena. I was grateful. I needed to brace myself for whatever storm was coming to pass. I decided that I would keep my hands off until she was ready to leave him. We couldn't risk being caught. There was too much at stake. As I strummed my guitar, I suddenly found a melody and I let the words escape my lips.
You're my world
The shelter from the rain
You're the pills
That take away my pain
You're the light
That helps me find my way
You're the words
When I have nothing to say
In this world
When nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you
I'm still tangled up in you
I put the guitar down and closed my eyes. I needed to settle. I could feel a heavy feeling start to settle I to the pit of my stomach. I tried to ignore but it persisted. I sighed. I had a bad feeling about this. Whatever was going to happen, was going to be a fucking disaster.