A couple days had passed, and Ned and MJ had visited him in the Avengers' MedLab after blowing up his phone. They said the Penis Parker story got out and everyone had started using the name.
"Maybe it'll all blow over after spring break," Ned had said. MJ didn't think so. Neither did Peter.
Both of his friends were so glad he was okay. They made him promise never to try to end his life again, and that they'd always be there to talk to.
May had come to visit. Peter couldn't remember the last time he had seen her cry that much. She was so happy he was okay, but she was wounded from his suicide attempt. Peter knew it would leave a scar on her, and he regretted his actions.
Tony had convinced May to let Peter stay at the Avengers' Mansion over spring break to heal. May had an entrance card and could visit whenever.
Peter had overheard May telling Tony she was going to therapy for a while because of the incident. Apparently she felt that she didn't talk to Peter enough or that she was a horrible aunt, which wasn't true.
Peter felt guilty. He swore to himself he'd never do anything like that again.
Peter got up from the bed in his new room in the mansion. It looked a bit like the one at home, which was nice.
He entered the kitchen and sat down at the table, waiting for breakfast with the other avengers.
It was quiet this morning. Clint was whirling an arrow around on his fingers, and Natasha was watching, snuggled up in some of the other avengers' clothes.
Thor and Tony sat on a couch together, quietly discussing something with Steve and Bruce.
Dr. Strange meditated in a corner, while Rhodey, Scott, and Sam whispered a couple jokes about it to each other.
Bucky stared out a window next to Steve, and Wanda and Vision made breakfast.
"Alright guys, breakfast is done." Wanda put plates of eggs and bacon on the table and the others gathered around.
"Thanks," Peter said when she handed him his plate.
"Clint, could you pass the salt, please?" Steve asked.
Clint didn't hear him. He didn't have his hearing aids in.
Natasha tapped him and signed something to him. Clint nodded and handed Steve the salt. "Sorry, dude. I don't usually sleep with my hearing aids in."
"It's okay. Thank you," Steve responded, giving him a thumbs up as an afterthought so Clint knew he had heard him.
When Clint passed the salt, Peter noticed that Steve was a little stiff when reaching for it. Maybe he's got a bad back? I mean, the guy is like 90 years old...
Peter tilted his head back to look at Steve. He noticed that the reason he was a bit stiff wasn't because of his back. Instead, Steve had his hand on Bucky's chair.
Steve had one pinky crossed over Bucky's metal one. They weren't sitting suspiciously close together, so nobody noticed. Peter realized they probably didn't want anyone to, either.
They come from World War II. They probably don't want anyone to know. Maybe it's that old "homosexuality is a sin" thing Bruce told me about...
Bucky noticed Peter looking and moved his hand away. He whispered something in Russian to Natasha. She whispered something back.
He felt bad about looking. He wanted to know what they had said. Peter wish he knew ASL. Or Russian. Or any other language besides a bit of Spanish, really.
When he was done, he put his plate in the sink and went back to the living room.
After a while, Thor sat next to Peter. (Thor always had huge portions, which he had wolfed down).
"Peter Parkerson," Thor piped up.
"What's up?"
"The roof structure?"
"Oh, yeah. I forgot. Asgardians." Peter shook his head "How say you, Thor?"
"I say good, Spiderling. I heard word you haven't the same to say."
"Uh, yeah. I-I guess."
"Don't fret, I have someone who may be of assistance to you in this time of need."
"Who?"
"My brother! Loki. He's a shapeshifter, too."
"I'm not a shapeshifter."
"Why, I know your true form is part spider, but my meaning is shifting from a boy to a man." Thor paused. "You... are shifting, are you not?"
"Transitioning. But yeah, basically I guess."
"Ah. Well, I have invited Loki to meet you. He does not like people much, tends to prefer being by himself. Herself. Itself. Er, themself. Many pronouns.." Thor scratched behind his ear, cheeks a tad warm in embarrassment. "I try my best to use the right ones. English is not my native tongue. And as part of the deal of your meeting, he promised not to kill anyone!"
"Should I be concerned?"
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A knock came from the door. Thor answered. A woman stood there; she had long black hair and a regal stance.
She wore a golden helmet and green and black robes with gold accents adorning them.
"Thor," she drawled.
"This is my brother, Loki."
"Brother?" Peter asked.
"Adopted," Loki said. She changed form into a male version of herself. This version looked very similar to his female look.
"My sincerest apologies, I didn't recognize your state," Thor said, addressing the fact he had just misgendered Loki.
"All is forgiven." Loki turned to Peter. "Are you that spider-boy Thor was talking about?"
"Yes. He is transform-," Thor corrected himself. "Transitioning from a girl to a boy-man."
"From a boy to a man, dimwit." Loki rolled their eyes. "Get with the times, brother."
"I'm sorry, this is still so new to me. I will do better. This is the spider-boy, yes."
"Spider-Man." Peter said. "I mean, Peter Parker. But just call me Peter."
"Peter. Yes, alright. I am Loki, of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose."
"Hmphh." Beeping came from Thor's watch. He looked at it. "I must attend to Tony. An impatient one, that is. Something about picking him up from a press conference. Farewell, brothers."
"Bye," Peter said. Loki simply nodded as Thor left the room.
"So do you identify as genderfluid?" Peter asked.
"I don't identify as genderfluid. I am genderfluid. I identify as a bitch." Loki smirked.
Peter laughed.
"So Thor tells me you're a shapeshifter?" Loki asked curiously.
"Well, not exactly. I'm transitioning."
"How do you mean?"
"I was a girl, but now I'm a boy. Only, not physically," Peter said, embarrassed.
"Oh, I see. I know what you mean by that."
"You do?"
"Yes. Sometimes I don't feel like a man. Sometimes I feel as if I am a woman, or both. Maybe neither."
"Is that why you showed up as a woman? With your shapeshifter powers or whatever?"
Also, just saying, the woman version of Loki is pretty hot... not that he doesn't look good now, it's just... god dammit, I'm so bisexual.
"Yes. I apologize that you can't transform into that of a man. It must take a toll on you."
Peter snapped his attention back to Loki. "Heh, yeah. I'm going to get surgery later, and my voice is already changing. I pass. I just don't want to wait to be complete, you know? It's hard."
"I understand. What do your friends and family think of it?"
"They don't mind. Can I ask you something?"
"I... alright."
"Is this like, your "true form" or whatever? Or is the woman version of you?"
Loki gave an evil smirk. His face transformed. His skin turned blue, his eyes red. "This... is my true form."
Peter gaped at him. "Coooool."
Loki looked shocked. "Do you really think so?"
"Absolutely!"
Loki grinned, and it was a real smile. "Uh.. thank you. I've never received that one before."
"Really? Why?"
"Many people... do not like me." Loki stared at the wall sadly, eyes downcast.
"How come?"
"Well for one, I killed a large amount of people."
"Uh.. besides that."
"Because Thor is everyone's favorite. I'm his lowly little brother. Not even his real brother. Father always did have a bigger heart for pretty like goldilocks," Loki said bitterly.
"Oh..." Peter responded, taking it all in.
"Yes..." was all Loki replied.
"Doesn't that... I don't mean to be rude, but... doesn't that get to your head?"
Loki looked at the wall again, hiding his face. He seemed to be deciding on whether or not to speak. "Indeed, it does. I've tried so hard to show my worth to everyone. All they see is "Thor's brother" trying too hard to be what he's not. To try and be an equal. Or... they just see a villain. Nothing more."
"I'm sorry."
"Mm. What about you?"
"What about me?" Peter asked.
"What gets to your head?"
"Oh. Uh, well, my body for one. But also, the things people say about me. The way I'm treated. I feel like I'm a little kid all the time. And I'm not! I'm fifteen!"
"Yes, that is frustrating."
"Exactly," Peter said. "I just wish I could be different. Then maybe I wouldn't... then maybe I wouldn't want to do stupid things..."
Loki looked at Peter's arm with a knowing look. He nodded at the faded scars. "Like that?"
Peter's face reddened. "You wouldn't get it..."
Loki's mouth was tight. He sat in silence. "Do you know why I always wear long sleeves?"
"Why?"
Loki glanced away, embarrassed. He pulled up the sleeve of his shirt. There were self harm scars and burns on it, even a few bruises.
Peter stared at Loki, his heart hurting. "I'm sorry... I didn't know."
"You can't tell my brother," Loki said, looking slightly frightened.
"You need to tell him."
Loki but his lip.
"Promise me. And don't use your shapeshifter abilities to hide them from him."
Loki sighed, eventually nodding.
The two were quiet again.
"Mr. Loki?"
Loki glanced at the boy. "Yes?"
"Thanks for understanding."
"Of course."
"Do you mind if I take a picture with you? You're really... cool and stuff."
"...sure."
"Thanks."
(Credit: Nicolas Van Zile/@ sugarandmemories on insta)
"Woah, what the hell is Loki doing here?!" Tony screamed from the doorway.
"He's not doing anything bad!" Peter exclaimed.
"Don't care. Out, Grasshopper Helmet."
"Alright, alright." Loki put his hands up, smirking and running his hands through his hair. "I shall leave. Tell Thor I left... intact." He turned to Peter. "It was a pleasure meeting your acquaintance, Peter Parkerson."
"You too," Peter said. "Thanks, by the way."
"No problem," Loki said in a suave tone as he strutted past Tony.
Peter just shrugged his shoulders at Tony.
"I don't even wanna know," Tony said.
"He was just-,"
"And now I'm gonna know."
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