The green grass was damp from the sprinklers that morning, but that didn't bother me at all. I still kneeled down, getting my jeans wet.
I put my flowers down in front of Harrison's grave and sighed.
I hadn't been to his grave since the funeral and I deeply regretted that fact.
But it had just been too painful to come. Then, when I slowly started moving on. I was too guilty about finding someone else that I couldn't bare to come talk to Harrison.
I fiddled with tulips at the base of the gravestone and made sure they were just how I wanted them.
Harrison got me tulips every year on my birthday and our anniversary. And although he wasn't a guy that was big on flowers, I knew that he would appreciate them. He would understand my meaning behind them. They were flowers that reminded me of him.
Jon was standing a few yards away, giving me time alone with Harrison before he came and talked to him as well.
"Hi," I started. I could feel tears welling in my eyes but I tried to hold them back. "So it's been a year. I'm sorry that I didn't come sooner. You probably hate me for that. I would be in big trouble if you were here." I smiled a little at that thought.
I might always feel bad that it had taken me a year to come visit Harrison's grave for the first time, but Jon said it wasn't too late to start going regularly. I knew that was true and I planned on coming a lot more.
"I miss you," I told him. "I'll always miss you. But...I'm doing well. I think you'd be happy with how well I've been doing. I've been living with Jon for awhile now. I'm getting ready to reopen the bookstore. I thought that would make you happy."
I ran my fingers over Harrison's name engraved in the stone. And the words under it...Beloved Friend and Boyfriend.
I knew many people didn't put 'boyfriend' on gravestones. It was usually 'husband'. But he hadn't been my husband. He was my boyfriend. And I had been okay with that.
I played with the ring that was around my neck.
"I wish you had gotten to propose to me," I told him as more tears began to gather. "I wish we'd had that beautiful wedding you mentioned in your letter. I may always be sad I never got to see you down on one knee, with a ring in your hands...or the fact that I will never get to hear you say our vows. Would we have gone with the traditional ones? Or written our own?"
Tears fell down my face, trailing from my cheeks and falling down onto my neck and shirt.
"But I suppose I can just tell you now how much I love you. How much I'll always love you. Even though I'm with Jon and plan on spending the rest of my life with him, he can never replace you. No one could ever replace you. I love Jon, but I love you too. I'll never stop loving you. You were one of the best things that ever happened to me, but you know that, don't you?"
I smiled and placed my hands on my knees.
"I think you would be okay with it if I didn't open the bookstore back up...if it caused me too much pain, you would be okay with me letting it go. But ever since I started working to open it again, I haven't felt closer to you since the day you died. And I think this is going to be good for me. It's making me more independent. I'll have my own money and won't have to rely on Jon so much anymore...even though I know he'll take care of me no matter what...just like you did."
I could feel Jon's presence not that far away from me, but I had just a few more things to say.
"You'll always be with me, Harrison. I don't plan on taking this ring off. Because you mean as much to me as Jon does. I may be with him now, but you'll always have a place in my heart. I love you...I love you...And I know you still love me too."
I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away. I knew more would still come, but I still needed to try to get them under control.
I turned around and saw Jon watching me. I smiled a little and beckoned him over with my hand.
He smiled and began walking slowly towards me.
He came and kneeled down next to me.
I said softly, "Harrison, this is Jon. Jon, this is Harrison."
Jon smiled at me and kissed my temple.
"Do you want me to leave so you can talk to him?" I asked.
"No, you can stay, baby," he said to me.
I smiled at him and watched him turn to look at the gravestone in front of us.
"it's nice to meet you, Harrison," he began. "Beau's told me a lot about you. I actually kind of feel like I know you in some way. I know how important you were to Beau and how important he was to you. I would've like to meet you while you were still with us. But maybe it's best we didn't." He smiled. "I can see us getting into a fight over this special one." He turned to me and grinned. I frowned and pushed his shoulder, but then couldn't help but let a smile peek through. "But maybe when it came down to it, we couldn't gotten along and found things in common. I know you were a pretty special guy. You have to be for Beau to care about you so much...I just want to tell you that I plan on taking great care of him. I know you would be happy with that. Because I'm sure that's all you ever wanted, just like me...For Beau to be safe and happy and taken care of. I promise to do that. I know you're watching out for him too. So thank you." He ran his hand over the headstone and said, "I know we'll both come talk to you again soon."
He then wrapped his arm around me and gave me a small smile.
I then said goodbye to Harrison.
"I love you, honey. I'll come see you again. I'll tell you all about the grand reopening of the bookstore...Bye." I leaned forward and gave the headstone a kiss.
I wiped the few tears that had fallen and stood up alongside Jon.
He took my hand and asked, "Ready to go?"
I nodded and leaned into him as we began walking away.
I felt really good.
It may have been sad as well, but I was happy I did this. I needed it. And I knew I would be coming back many more times. I would never stop coming.
Harrison meant too much to me to stop.
____________
One week after visiting Harrison's grave, it was finally time for the grand reopening of Beau's Books.
Jon was obviously here with me. My whole family was coming, as well as Ethan and Katie.
There were banners hanging outside, alerting people to the grand reopening. I had put ads in the paper and online about it. I had even found an old mailing list on Harrison's computer with a number of email addresses that he would send out news about the store and sales notifications to, so I used those to notify people we were opening again as well.
But I was incredibly nervous that no one would show up.
I wondered if Harrison had that same fear when he first opened the store.
The place was freshly dusted this morning even though I had spent the last month cleaning it from top to bottom.
I had purchased a tons of new releases and put them on the specified shelves. The books that had been sitting there for the past year were placed on the older shelves according to genre and author.
I had even been reading more in my spare time so I could set up a recommendations area. I'd forced some books on Jon as well, but he'd been happy to help.
There was a new kids area and I planned on having a kids night every Wednesday night. I wasn't the best with kids, but I knew that it would bring in customers and I thought I could pull it off well enough.
I was hoping that the store would really take off because I planned on hiring at least a couple people to help me out. Harrison had always been really stubborn and wanted to do everything himself, but that just wasn't me. I would love to have help and I just hoped I made enough money to be able to hire some employees. It would also be nice to have people to talk to all day instead of being here by myself.
Jon was stationed behind the front counter as I ran around the place, making sure everything was in order.
"Everything is fine, baby!" He called to me. "Calm down and open the place up."
I took a deep breath and walked over to the front counter. "This is scary," I told him.
He gave me a gentle smile. "I know, but everything is going to great. Harrison's old, loyal customers will be returning and there will be a bunch of new people as well." He came around the counter and wrapped his arm around me. "You worked so hard on this," he said. "You did a great job. I'm proud of you and Harrison would be proud of you too. The place looks great and I know people will be ecstatic to shop here again...Now why don't you open the place up?"
I took another deep breath and looked up at him with wide eyes.
I was terrified...but I supposed it was time.
I headed over to the front door and took a deep breath.
I flipped the sign on the door over to open and unlocked it.
I took a few steps back, heart beating quickly.
I felt a little silly for being so nervous, but it again made me wonder how Harrison felt when he first opened the store.
He mostly had a calm exterior, but I was pretty sure that he had to be nervous...because this was fucking nerve-racking.
A minute passed and I went over to the front counter, sitting down on the stool set up there.
Jon came over and rubbed my back, giving me a kiss on the head.
Then, the bell above the door made a dinging noise.
I gasped and my head swung in that direction.
An unfamiliar couple walked in and I greeted them immediately. "Hi, welcome in!"
They smiled at me and said hello. I asked them if they needed anything, but they said they just came to look. They went about their business and began browsing the store.
Even if they didn't buy anything, I was naming this day a success already.
There were two people in the store and it hadn't even been five minutes since I opened.
This was amazing.
I looked up at Jon with a beaming smile and he smiled back at me.
"See? I told you," he said and I glared at him a little.
The next people to show up were Katie, Ethan, and Ethan's best friend who I had come to learn was named Sean.
There was a round of hugs and I thanked them all for coming.
I could see that Ethan kept looking at Sean, blushing and then looking away quickly. It was cute and I hoped he didn't get his heart broken. I really cared about him and I wanted him to be happy. He had said that he couldn't tell Sean about the way he felt because he would end up hating him, but I believed there was always a chance.
A few more customers showed up and I was completely shocked. Within the first hour, there were ten people walking around the store.
It may have been busier than I ever saw it.
After the first hour passed, my parents and brother showed up.
I was so happy to have them here and I realized as they looked around the store that they had never been to the bookstore before.
"This looks wonderful, Beau," Mom said and she gave me another hug.
They all hugged Jon as well and even Katie and Ethan.
"Thanks, Mom," I said with a smile. "I want you all to pick out any book that you like, on the house." Everyone began protesting, but I hushed them up. "I insist. Please. It would make me really happy. Plus it will help me with my recommendations shelf. So really you're doing me a favor."
Everyone smiled and they all agreed after that.
Ethan and Sean went off to look around. I told them where the graphic novel section was, thinking they may be interested in that.
Katie and Liam went off together and they headed for the traveling section. I knew Liam had a bit of wandering nature, but he didn't often get to travel. He had many books on different countries and I wasn't surprised he headed in that direction.
Mom headed in the direction of the cookbooks and Dad followed behind her.
I looked over at Jon with a smile and he quickly wrapped me up in a hug.
"Things are going so well," I told him.
He pulled away and nodded. "Again, I told you so."
I stuck my tongue out at him and then pulled further away from him when I saw a few people approaching the counter.
"Hi!" I said excitedly, seeing that they each had a small stack of books in their hands.
I tried to compose myself and not freak out about my first sales. They didn't need to see that side of me.
I wrung them all up and gave them each new bags with Beau's Books printed on them.
I smiled and waved them goodbye.
Once they were out of earshot, I squealed at Jon.
"First three sales! Oh my god!"
I hugged him again and he chuckled, kissing me on the forehead.
The huge smile I had on my face was not leaving anytime soon.
_____________
About two hours after opening the store, I wandered around to make sure customers were finding everything okay.
I stopped by to check on Mom and Dad, and also Katie and Liam.
I had to go a little further into the store to find Ethan and Sean.
I was just turning the corner when Sean, with his back to me, grabbed Ethan's face in his hands and kissed him hard on the lips.
My eyes went wide and so did Ethan's, but his eventually fell closed and he kissed Sean back passionately.
I smiled and tiptoed away from them. They didn't need me interrupting at a time like this.
I continued to grin, but then my lips fell into a soft smile when I passed a familiar section.
I picked up a few books and brought them up to the counter where Jon was holding down the fort.
I set the books on the counter in front of Jon to show them to him.
"What are these?" He asked, looking at them.
I smiled. "These are the entire reason I met Harrison." A wide smile came onto his face and I continued. "I came in to get these for a class I was taking, but I didn't have enough money to pay for them. Harrison was a bit of a grouch, but he was so kind and let me have them for free as long as I came back during the weekend and helped him out at the store...and well, the rest is history."
Jon continued to smile at me. "That's a great story," he said and then pulled me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked deeply into his eyes. "I love you," he said.
"I love you too," I replied quietly.
I kissed him lightly and then turned slightly so I could glance around the store.
I saw how happy all the customers were and how happy my family was too.
And right now, I could feel Harrison more than ever.
He would have loved to see this.
But I knew that he was watching right now. I just knew. I could sense it.
He was happy.
He was happy for me.
Happy that I was able to move on. Happy that I had found love again with Jon. And happy that I had opened the store again—keeping his memory alive.
I fingered the ring on my neck. Then I brought it up to my lips and kissed it.
I turned back around in Jon's arms to look at him.
"When are you going to ask me to marry you?" I asked with a little bit of attitude.
He chuckled and squeezed me. "When you least expect it, baby."
"Well, I'm ready," I told him, meaning it wholeheartedly. I would always love Harrison, but I was ready to be with Jon for the rest of my life.
"Good," he said with a smile. "Because it's going to be fantastic."
"It better be, Daddy," I said with a smirk.
He growled and bit my neck which made me giggle.
He kissed my neck softly and then I rested my head on his shoulder, letting out a small, happy sigh.
This was what it would be like for the rest of my life.
Sure, there would be ups and downs. There always were.
But I knew it was Jon and me forever.
I couldn't be happier.
I then said a little prayer to Harrison in my head.
I love you. I miss you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me some of the happiest moments of my life.
But now it's time for me to go make new ones.
I smiled again and pulled away from Jon's shoulder.
I gave him a long, soft kiss then looked out onto the store.
I felt like I could hear Harrison's voice in my head. Go make those new memories, sweetheart.
I wrapped my arms around myself and I smiled.
The End
_______________
Well...that's a wrap, guys.
Lost and Found was originally one of the stories I was most proud of. I started it before I began posting on Wattpad and when I first started it, I had really high hopes for it. I think that all my stories can improve and I really think Lost and Found can, but right now, I'm happy that I finished it and have given you guys a complete story. Even if it is really short.
Beau's story has caused a couple of crying fests for me. I've written a few chapters through tear filled eyes (including this one). Many people have asked how I can cry at my own stories and my answer is...I don't know. I have made myself cry by simply thinking of a story idea. So I must just be a freak. lol.
I want to thank anyone and everyone that has read this story. It definitely isn't my most popular one and it always makes me immensely happy when I hear someone enjoys LAF more than Baby Doll or Sugar Daddy.
I hope this ending was satisfying. It's a little nerve racking finishing it because I don't want it to be a disappointment. This chapter came out shorter than I wanted it to, but I didn't want to fill it with unnecessary or meaningless scenes. This is how I wanted it to end. I wanted Jon to meet Harrison and I wanted Beau to open the bookstore again, the place where he met Harrison and fell in love with him.
I hope that I made you guys feel something with this story. I may be sadistic, but I love when people tell me that I made them cry with this one. Lol. Maybe it's because I like to know I'm not the only that has shed tears over Beau's story.
I should probably stop now. I could probably go on and on, but I have to cut myself off at some point...
Lost and Found is the first story I'm finishing on Wattpad and that is a big accomplishment for me.
I hope that it was enjoyable. I hope that you come back to reread it sometime in the future. I hope that it was satisfying. And I hope that the story sticks with you a little bit.
I also hope that you check out my other stories if you haven't already.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving Beau a chance and sticking with this to the end.
—ridinginbluejeeps