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After their conversation, Caspian bade everyone farewell and left back to the sofa has was sleeping. Yet even in absence his words remained in Antonia's head, rattling around her mind long after everyone else had gone to bed.
"Everything okay - "
"Tonks!" She almost rolled out of the sofa bed in surprise, "I thought you were asleep."
"I mean, I was but then you kicked me in the leg quite hard," Tonks laughed although there was still a hint of genuine pain in his voice, "So I was but yeah, I'm quite clearly not now."
Antonia rolled over, curling the offending legs up to avoid a repeat, "Sorry. I didn't mean to."
"Something on your mind?" Tonks asked, "And don't say no because you're you, there's always something on your mind."
This succeeded in getting a soft laugh from her yet she wasn't ready to reveal what Caspian had said to anyone just yet. What he'd said was some heavy things but ... it made sense. Besides, he knew Jude and Adelaide better than she did, hell, he'd lived with them. It would solve so many problems too and perhaps even let Roma continue a future relationship with Liam Friendless without the boy becoming demonised in the Carlson's eyes. He should take his fair share of the work but this would be easier if the blame had been shifted to someone else.
"Just ... thinking about everything today," Antonia lied, playing the slight tremor in her voice off as a grogginess from needing sleep, "I mean, it's quite ridiculous how much happened when you think about it. We met the Baby Daddy, promptly left the Baby Daddy not knowing he'll be a Dad in ... blimey, April."
"I do feel bad for leaving. We were his only friends, poor chap"
Antonia sniggered but continued on, "Then we find out May's not a prostitute but Caspian is and she's now trustworthy due to us having blackmail over her."
"And the fact that she's broken the family rules too and loves her girlfriend and most importantly, sister," Tonks was quick to add the slightly more optimistic point of view to contrast Antonia's stark realism.
Again, she succeeded in alleviating the look of gloomy thoughtfulness, the smile curving onto her lips like sunbeams cutting through grey clouds, "Yes, and that too."
"If she ever needs help, I can always pose as a fake boyfriend, free of the charge and day dependent ... or maybe a clone of Jude Carlson," He giggled, "I've got his mannerisms down to a T from all the meetings."
"Perhaps," Antonia replied, shutting her eyes.
It seemed the conversation had come to an end but Tonks had other ideas mainly because Antonia's right foot was still subconsciously jiggling slightly, "Are you sure everything's alright?" Antonia heard a slight rustle of the sheets and when she rolled to face him, Tonks was already eager to chat: resting on his side, using his hand to prop his head up. Even now, his hair colour was ever changing she noticed, currently shifting between subtle variants of midnight blue.
"Just worried about Roma?" Tonks guessed, "You seemed pretty het up on the train but everything moved so quickly when we got back, you didn't get a chance to argue your case."
"Yeah," Antonia latched onto the idea; it was easier than revealing the small seeds of a possibly bad idea growing in her mind, "Although I know she probably won't change her mind. I'm worrying for nothing."
She suddenly felt a strange tingle down her arm and quickly realised it was because Tonks's fingertips had just brushed hers. This was far from accidental as their fingers slowly intertwined, Antonia looking up to meet Tonks' gaze. She was only now starting to admit to herself that maybe her feelings for Tonks weren't just as platonic business partners, even if her facade of being solely dedicated to Roma's baby issue prevented her from saying it out loud. Tonks had always been charming and open about her attraction from the start, wearing her heart on her sleeve but Antonia just wasn't like that. It took sweet moments like this for Antonia to display anything back other than wry ambiguous flirts.
"I know you care about her but Roma's life is Roma's. I know it's awful to see her make bad choices but sometimes you just can't change them, we'll have to work around them instead," Tonks shrugged, "The fact you care so much is brilliant on its own. You're a really great friend, Antonia."
For some reason, Antonia found herself softly chuckling, curling up into a little ball although her fingers remained intertwined with Tonks deliberately. The corners of Tonks' eyes creased as his smile widened, reaching his eyes which Antonia had heard was the sign of a genuine smile.
"What's so funny? Is my hair bloody salmon pink again?" He looked up as a small strand of hair grew down in front of her eyes, long enough for him to examine it, "Thank fuck. Charlie said that happens sometimes when I'm not looking although he was probably just taking the piss"
"I wasn't laughing at anything in particular," Antonia admitted, "Happy laughter, I suppose," She shook her head a little, "Just ... how are you so nice? Nice is a boring word, let me rephrase, how are you so just ... enthusiastic and kind and just ... yeah, there it is again: nice. But it's true, you hardly know us yet, most people don't like us ... well, me anyway. I don't know, I tend to look on the dry side of life and think most people do too so I just never thought it was possible for someone to be so good yet ...here you are."
"Here I am. And I'm not always nice," Tonks murmured darkly, "I can be a right pig sometimes..."
Antonia burst into delayed giggles as she looked up to see a pig's nose in the place of Tonks' regular one. By the time, their giggles had faded into silence, Antonia became acutely aware of the fact their faces were a mere few inches apart. She also came to the decision that was enough excitement for one night. The urge to kiss Tonks had played across her mind more than once in the past few minutes but if that happened, Antonia couldn't guarantee they'd stop and the last thing they needed was a second baby on their hands.
"Goodnight Tonks," She let go of the boy's hand and rolled onto her side.
"Night, Antonia," His words echoed back a few moments later. Even without seeing him, Antonia could tell there was still a smile playing across his lips too. For a moment, she allowed this new feeling to linger, a brief moment of genuine happiness intermingled with some pretty dark shit. But just as quickly as it had come, the feeling disappeared, overtaken by her sense of duty and brutal realism, a feeling that would only intensify over the next few weeks as she considered turning Caspian's idea into reality...
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After leaving Liam and her friends in York, Roma had been dreading discussing this, forced to admit she had no other real reasons except a desire to continue dreaming along with a stronger than average flight reflex. Luckily, neither of them seemed to want to and they managed to avoid talking about it right up until her friends left. Instead, they spent the time exploring smoky Vintage shops (upon Tonk's request) and grand, ornate libraries (for Antonia) as well as wasting many a day in the bombed church turned garden, St Dunstan-in-the-east. Just normal teenage things which Roma wished they could do more of in all honesty.
The duration of the holiday was spent with May although the house was even more relaxed than before. Fran popped round a few times to help put the photos back up and just chill, her presence not only making May's face light up but reminding Roma's face that she wasn't alone in her family.
Luckily, they'd managed to escape returning to the Carlson's family home although she still had to see them at the station ... and of course, for weekly meetings at school. May promised to make them arrive at Platform 9¾ just a little later than the agreed quarter of an hour to cut down on the time. Neither of the Renegade sisters were looking forward to this visit.
"Have you packed everything?" May asked for the fifteenth time as they were literally on the doorstep.
"Hmm... I think so," Roma stroked her chin thoughtfully, "Hold on, I'll check again. You can never be too sure."
May smiled, "If you want to take a floating plant or two as a keepsake, I don't mind. Fran bought me a bright blue cactus and I think I might be over my succulent phase."
"I think I'm alright, thank you," Roma called back, scanning over the empty room once more. Both she and May knew this was procrastination at it's finest, narrowed fifteen minutes down to five if they were lucky which was why she decided to check on the bed just to be thorough. At last, she returned to her sister, "I hadn't left anything."
"Perhaps double check the bathroom?" May suggested before shaking her head, "Okay, now I'm being silly."
The two sisters lugged Roma's trunk down the stairs before May removed her glove so they could apparate together from a secluded bin area behind the flats.
"May, wait," Roma let go of her hand suddenly, "Do you think this coat is thick enough?"
"Hmm," May examined it before nodding, "Yes, it's so fluffy and your bump is thankfully small. You're fine."
"So are you," Roma replied for no other purpose than reassurance as they braced themselves and apparated away.
By the time they arrived outside the station, the large Carlson clan had already assembled on the steps. Suddenly May and Roma's decision to show up late went from brilliant to dreadful from just a glimpse of their family's faces. Their tardiness had led to their siblings and parents standing stubbornly in the cold for the sake of unity and nobody looked happy.
They exchanged a look, letting go of each other before quickly walking over. Adelaide was the first to react, her sleepy eyes widening as she draped herself over her husband's shoulder. As Roma neared, she managed to catch the last part of her mother's soft words.
" - you said they'd be here five minutes ago, my darling," She breathlessly whispered, soft wisps of blonde hair brushing against Jude's face, moving like tendrils with a life of their own, "Why are they late?"
Jude stepped forward away from her, "May! Roma! Why are you late?"
"Roma bought a few new coats from a local market over Christmas," May said quickly, looking down at her shoes. With the news of what had happened to Caspian still fresh in their memories, it was safe to say both were more than a little nervous now, "We had such trouble fitting them in her suitcase?"
Their parents remained silent for a few moments before Adelaide made a strange gasping sound and slunk forward onto Jude's shoulder once more, her lips brushing his ear as she whispered something. The girls awaited their judgement as Jude stepped forward, so forcibly he yanked little Murdoch along with him.
"Just don't do it again," He said, "We were cold."
"We could have gone in without them," Desdemona grumbled, "I forgot my mittens, my hands are dead."
Adelaide turned to her daughter, "I told you to bring them."
"Well, I didn't think you were right," She mumbled under her breath.
"Speak a little louder if you want us to hear," Jude snapped, "Your Mother can't hear you."
"Oh, I can, my darling," Adelaide murmured, "But sometimes my ears go a little funny in the cold. We should head inside lest we don't miss the Hogwarts Express."
With that, their parents began the arduous task of herding the many Carlsons into the station. Roma and May quickly joined them but Roma's sister was cruelly snatched from her side by none other than Benjamin.
"So um ... May, in your flat, do you pay rent?"
Roma intended to follow but was held back by someone nudging her in the side hard. She turned to see Pippie of all people, her features looking unusually contorted by persistent frustration.
"Roma ... have you got any letters from Caspian?"
To ask such a question right in front of her parents was reckless and very Caspian. She could see why they got along so well, "No. I haven't."
Pippie huffed, "Oh, that's made me feel so much better. I can see why he wouldn't write to you, he never liked you - " Until I started growing a rebel foetus in my stomach, Roma was tempted to add but she wasn't going to make the same mistakes as her brother, not after what had happened, " - but it doesn't make sense he wouldn't even try to write from me - OUCH!"
At first, it seemed that Pippie had just tripped on the steps but both girls saw Jude's foot quickly retract from the back of Pippie's shin. His action came as a clear shock to both of them - usually Jude was dedicated to maintaining a calm persona outside, fine on the outside, turmoil behind closed doors. They looked up to see him sternly glowering at them, his eyes narrowed in a clear warning.
"Jude, what did you do? What did they do?" Adelaide swooped upon her husband only to be shrugged off.
"Nothing. Just idle chatter," Jude replied, "Stupid questions and I know how much you hate stupid questions."
Roma quickly turned away, determined to be silent until the train. With Caspian banished from the family in multiple ways, Roma had expected there to be a change but for her Father to violate the rule of normalcy around other people, this was definitely not going to be an easy term...
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Well, today I sent my sister a video of Uptown Funk with every other beat edited out and she promptly went to bed. I have gained a new weapon right here, only time will tell what I do with it - E x