WHAT WE DESERVE.
I couldn't sleep that night.
How could I?
Latrelle pulled a gun on Cesar and Monse. Getting your life threatened like that was serious shit. I could tell the two were shaken up, and I didn't blame them. Having a gun pointed at you would scare any grown adult, nonetheless, two fourteen year olds.
Apparently, Oscar didn't seem fazed by it as he slept soundly next to me. His soft snoring filled my ears all night as I tossed and turned.
Around eight I finally stepped out of bed. As I walked out of Oscar's room I stopped and stared at Cesar's closed door. I wanted to talk to him, and tell him everything would be okay. He probably didn't sleep all night either, and I just wanted to be there for him. After all, he was my brother.
I knocked lightly, waiting for a reply. A few moments passed and I heard nothing. I knocked again, saying his name this time. Still, nothing. I twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open. My eyes widened at the empty room that was not supposed to be empty.
I ran into the living and looked around. The only ones there were multiple Santos that Oscar had at the house as protection and look outs - which the sleeping men had miserably failed at. After studying their faces and not seeing Cesar among them I ran to the window. I scanned the front yard that was filled with more Santos, but yet again, Cesar wasn't with them.
I could feel my heart as it began to thump against my chest and rushed over to where Cisco was knocked out on the couch. His head was leaned back and his mouth was open as his arm hung off the side of the couch.
"Cisco! Cisco!" I shook him vigorously until he jumped awake. He looked around, quickly becoming alert.
"Santuario? Qué onda?" He sat up, his hand going to the gun tucked away in his pants.
"Dónde está Cesar?" I asked, becoming more worried as each second passed.
"En su habitación," he answered.
I began shaking my head, tears filling my eyes as I ran back into his room. I looked around, looking for a note or any sign of a struggle.
Bad thoughts entered my head before I could even try to keep them out.
What if Latrelle or some more Prophets came to finish the job? What if Cesar did something stupid to try and get back at them? What if he was dead?
I was aggressively going through his bedside table when something caught my attention. The space next to the table was empty. The space where his backpack always sat.
The little idiot went to school.
I wiped my eyes, a weight lifting off my shoulders. I only felt a moment of relief before the weight was back. He wasn't supposed to be out at all. It was too dangerous.
I hurried back into Oscar's room and ran over to the bed as I began shaking him like I had Cisco. He bolted awake, sitting up with a start. He saw me and his eyes gave me a concerned look as his hand shot out to hold my cheek.
"Violetta, wh-"
"Cesar went to school!" I interrupted. There was no time to waste. The more time that passed was more time the Prophets had to find him.
Oscar's look quickly changed from worried to angry. He threw the covers off of him and stood out of bed. He went to his drawer and took out a grey t-shirt. He pulled it over his head, that he was shaking, disapprovingly.
"I tell that boy to do one fucking thing and he does't listen," he ranted, angrily. "He must wanna die."
"Don't say that, Oscar!" I scolded, a lump in my throat appearing.
His features softened as he noticed my worried expression. He stalked towards me and placed his hands on the side of my neck, making me look up at him.
"Ima go get our hardheaded hermanito, amante. He's gonna be fine. Ima bring him home, and you'll see."
He placed a kiss on my forehead and I closed my eyes, slowly nodding. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. "Stay here. The homies not going anywhere and neither are you."
"Okay."
He turned around and his figure disappeared down the hallway. I heard him wake all the guys up and yell at them for lacking before ordering them to watch me. The front door slammed shut and I closed his bedroom door, wanting to be alone.
I laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling, waiting for a text from Oscar, but one never came. A knock was heard and I yelled for them to open it.
"Tienes hambre?" Tito asked, leaning against the door frame.
I shook my head. "How could you think about food when Cesar has a green light out on him?"
"I haven't eaten since eight last night, so pretty easily," he laughed. When he saw I wasn't amused his face sobered up. "Oscar's got him, you don't gotta worry. Most of us have gotten green lights put out on us and we still here. It's not the end of the world."
It sure did feel like it to me.
It felt like everything was crashing and burning.
I turned my head towards him. "You think I'm being dramática?" I questioned, remembering the conversation Oscar and I had on the first day we met.
"I think you're dramatic every damn time I'm around your ass," he smiled, causing me to smile. "I'll never forget the day you threated to call your dad because someone ate the last of the leftover tacos."
I laughed at the memory. I can see why my dad gave Oscar that warning now. I guess just because you become a better person it doesn't make you any less extra.
Once my laughing died down, I shrugged. "Okay, I can see it."
My phone dinged from beside me on the bed and it almost fumbled out of my hand with how fast I picked it up. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the text.
el cocinero🍴
iMessage
Thursday, November 26th 2018
12:43 pm
me and the lil punk
are at the beach
can you come out of the
room now and stop
stressin
how'd you know i was
in the room?
creeeeeepy
i got eyes everywhere
bombóncita🔎
that was extraaaa
fucking creepy.
by eyes you mean
santos, right?
also, I like bombóncita
change my contact name to it.
is it still the money bag emoji?
maybe..... maybe not👀
nah i changed it
to 🚀 because ur
out of this world
oooooooooooooh
SMOOTH
u get a few points for that
now get back to spending
time with cesar!
be there for him.
yes mami
I smiled down at my phone, contently.
"See? I told you it'd all be fine," Tito said from the door way.
I rolled my eyes. "Okay, fine."
It wasn't over. I knew that. But at least Cesar was safe.
†††
I was laying on Oscar's bed, texting Monse and him for updates when there was a knock on the door. It opened and Cisco poked his head in, "You got company."
My eyebrows crinkled in confusion as he opened the door further. Cat came out from behind him and stepped inside.
"Oh my God!" I breathed, my eyes going wide. I hopped up from the bed and engulfed her in a hug. I gave a quick nod to Cisco who returned one and closed the door. Her arms wrapped around my waist and we just stood there, squeezing the life out of each other.
"I heard about Cesar," she said, pulling away. "He's gonna be okay, V."
"What's been going on? What the word?" I asked, watching as she walked around me and sat on the bed.
If anyone knew what was being said on the street and around town it was Cat. She knew all the right people to get the gossip from and since she was more of an outlier - especially since her break up with Antonio - no one noticed if she did a little snooping or went around asking questions. She was the perfect girl to ask for intel.
She shrugged and shook her head. "Nothing. Nobody's talking about it. It's like it didn't happen."
"So the Prophets aren't planning anything? No way, they got to have said something. That bitch ass Latrelle pulled a gun on Cesar. And now that all the Santos are here waiting for something to go down. That has to have sparked up some conversation on their side of town."
"I asked everyone I know who lives over there. They haven't heard nothing or seen anything unusual. It's been just like any other day," she said, hopelessly.
Maybe they really weren't planning anything. Maybe everything Latrelle said was just empty threats. He was the same age as Cesar. He no doubt was just putting on a show like Cesar had. Like Tito said, the Santos had all got green lights put out on them and nothing happened. It had to be the same case here. Just a few days of laying low and it's like it never happened.
I breathed a small sigh of relief before noticing Cat's face. She was twirling her phone in her hands, looking down at it with a frown. Her eyes were blank and it looked like she was thinking about something.
"What's been up with you?" I questioned, softly. I took a seat next to her on the bed, looking at her for an answer.
She shook her head. "Nothing, just worried about Cesar."
"And what else?"
"Nothing-"
"You're not a good liar, either. What's up with you? Tell me?" I urged.
She sighed. "A week ago, I got this letter in the mail. I thought it was so weird because who the hell sends letter anymore, right? And it was from this man I didn't know. I opened it," she paused, remembering the moment. "It was from my dad, Violetta."
My eyes went wide and my jaw dropped in shock. "Holy shit!"
"I know," she breathed, "He was apologizing for not being there and leaving. He said he wants to get to know me and hopes that I'll forgive him. He left his number on there and I've been texting him and he wants to meet later today, but I don't know." She stood up from the bed and began pacing back and forth. "I haven't even told my mom. Who knows what she'll think."
"This isn't about your mom - it's about you. About what you wanna do," I reminded her.
"I know, V. But there's no way I can do it. Plus, I went to work earlier and I'm tired and-"
I sighed, standing up from the bed. "Listen," I said, taking her face in my hands. "Your dad wants to be in your life, Cat. After everything I get why you're hesitant, but I think you owe it to yourself to at least go talk to him. Ask him what you've always wanted to ask him, and depending on those answers decide whether you wanna build a relationship with him or not. And if you end up not wanting to know him, at least you have that peace of mind you didn't have before."
She closed her eyes, nodding. "You're right... I'll go meet him."
She unlocked her phone and sent a text to her dad. I smiled as she shoved her phone back into her pocket. "What are you doing? Go get ready to meet your dad!" I yelled, pushing her to the door.
She laughed. "Okay, okay! I'll see you at Olivia's quince on Saturday?" She opened the door, turning back to me.
I nodded. "Yeah. I'm picking up my dress tomorrow."
"What time?" she asked. "I gotta go get mine, too. Plus, she hired me to do her makeup, so I'm gonna run some practice looks on Ruby tomorrow."
I raised my eyebrows. "Ruby?"
She held her hands up. "I don't know why, either, but his mom is paying me to do it so I'm not asking any questions. And since the quince is only two days away, Ruby is in defcon solange mode and I'm not trying to make him mad by questioning him."
"You're really scared of that little kid? You could dropkick him across the room if you wanted to."
"Not scared - cautious," she corrected. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah, text me how it goes with your dad!"
"Claro. Text me Cesar updates!"
†††
Oscar didn't make it home until late that night, and when he walked in he was without Cesar.
"Where's Cesar?" I asked, quickly getting up from the couch and stepping over Flaco's legs that were propped up on the coffee table.
"I let him go to Monse's house," he answered, going into the fridge and pulling out a beer.
"Monse's house? What for?" I asked. Hopefully, it was for what I was thinking.
"Mentally prepare," Riko snickered from his seat on the floor as he kept his eyes on the TV. He took a swig of his beer and held it up in the air towards me, a smirk on his face, "And the best way to do that is with a girl."
I watched as the guys stared idly at the TV screen. The conversation didn't seem interesting to them. It was like they already knew what was happening.
"Mentally prepare for what?" I questioned, furrowing my eyebrows.
"Murder," Eagle mumbled from his seat beside Riko.
"MURDER?" I whipped back around to face Oscar, who was sitting at the counter, his open beer in his hand. "What the hell is he talking about?"
"Violetta, listen to me," he started, looking my in the eyes. "That kid threatened Cesar's life. He pointed a gun at him and Monse. That can't be forgotten. It's gotta be dealt with."
"Oscar," I breathed, my voice becoming low and cold. "What did you do?"
Oscar's eyes failed to meet mine as he whispered, "I think you know what I did."
Tears filled my eyes and I began shaking my head, profusely. "No, you didn't. Tell me you didn't tell Cesar he had to kill that boy."
He took a breath and shook his head. "I can't tell you that."
Suddenly, it did feel like the end of the world. Suddenly, it felt like everything was crashing and burning. And most of all, it felt like I didn't even know the man standing in front of me. If you could even call this coward a man.
"How is he supposed to kill him, Oscar?" I yelled. "I know you gave him a weapon, what was it?"
He sighed, finally meeting my eyes. "A gun."
The breath that filled my lungs disappeared and the occasional tears that were sliding down my cheeks came out like an endless waterfall. My hands went up to my head as I gripped my hair, stressed. My body shook with sobs as tears poured from my eyes.
Oscar moved forward, reaching out for me, but I jerked away from him. My eyes narrowed in anger and I pointed at him, accusingly. "This is all your fault! What is wrong with you?" I spat, bitterly. "I told you to be there for him! How is this being there for him?"
His expression instantly turned from one full of sorrow to angry. "This isn't my fault," he denied, his voice tight. "It's how it is when you're apart of this life. We handle our business. Not that you'd know anything about that."
"Because I'm a spoiled rich girl, right?" I laughed, monotonic. "How about you come up with something new and stop throwing that shit in my face. I've been here long enough to know better. Just like I know if you didn't jump Cesar in he wouldn't have any business to take care of! But you wanted to show your gang you're in charge, so you jumped your little brother in."
"Don't fucking speak to me that way!" he warned, quickly standing up and towering over me in an attempt to seem threatening.
"Why? Cause your boys are here?" I asked. I turned around and motioned to them all who were watching our argument, blankly. "Guess what? You're all fucking pathetic! You sit here and drink your forties and smoke your brain cells away while a fourteen year old boy is gonna kill someone with a gun you all put in his hand."
They all averted their eyes or looked away from me completely. I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "You can't even look me in the eyes. Pinche cobardes."
I turned back to Oscar and shook my head. "But you, Oscar Diaz, are the most coward of all. Because that's your little brother... and you did this to him. You can't even look me in the eyes now, how are you gonna feel when you look Cesar in his eyes that are devoid of emotion, knowing you're the reason why?"
His eyes became glossy as he looked down at me speechless. "I'm gonna save Cesar. And after that... I'm going back home. And if he wants to come with me then he can. But you," I made sure we were making eye contact before I said anything else. I wanted him to know how serious I was. "You get to stay here.. with your gang that you put before your own brother's well being."
I snatched the beer from his hands and began walking back to my room. I got to the beginning of the hallway before pausing. I turned around and surveyed the room once more. All of them turned their heads towards me. I took a swig from the bottle, swallowing the bitter taste. "You know what? Maybe you guys don't deserve peace."
†††
After I texted Monse last night and she replied saying Cesar was with her I tried to get some sleep, but it never came. I laid awake, staring at the ceiling all night. It had been the first night since Oscar and I got together that I slept in my own bed, and it was cold and lonely, but it was better than sleeping next to that monster.
I had come up with over a hundred plans for saving Cesar, and all of them hit dead ends or had some kind of fatal flaw once I ran it through my head enough times. At one helpless point during the night I succumbed to the idea of just taking Cesar home with me, leaving everything behind. Then, I realized he would never leave Freeridge. Not without the fam. So, I thought about taking them all with me. Then, I realized that would never work due to their parents. And I didn't feel like being charged with kidnapping, so I left that plan in the imaginary trash bin of my mind.
I had to go pick up my dress up from Ruby's for the quince tomorrow, so I figured I'd discuss it with him and Cat. Maybe they could think of something I hadn't. But whatever it was, it had to be achievable in a few hours because Cesar was supposed to kill him tonight. We needed to get to him before anything went down.
I checked my phone, seeing I got a text from Cat.
kitty cat🐱
iMessage
Friday, November 27th 2018
9:28 am
you were so right
about going to see my dad!
he's so funny and nice
and doesn't suck like
i thought he would.
i told u!
i'm glad you
had a good time.
I smiled before setting my phone down and getting out of bed to get dressed. I quickly pulled on a blue and grey jumpsuit with some heels. I didn't bother doing anything special to my hair. I was on a mission, and hair didn't fit into it. I grabbed my phone and walked out of my room and down the hallway. I stopped when I saw Oscar leaning on the counter, his head in his hands. He must have heard my heels because he instantly looked up at me.
He pushed himself off the counter and walked around, approaching my slowly. "Violetta, baby, hey. I've been waiting for you to wake up-"
"Well, you waited for nothing because I'm not talking to you," I interrupted, walking past his hands that were reached out for me.
"Please, I'm sorry about last night. I'll do anything to make it right, bombóncita," he followed me to the door.
I turned around, quirking my eyebrow. "You'll take Cesar out the gang and not make him kill Latrelle?"
He stood up straight, sighing. "I can't do that, Violetta."
I shrugged. "I guess you're not as sorry as you thought you were."
I put my hand on the doorknob and was about to turn it to leave, but his hand covered mine, stopping me. "It's the rules, V. I told you about that."
I looked up at him and let a moment of silence pass before saying, "Real leaders can make their own rules."
I pushed his hand off the doorknob and turned it, flinging the door open. I walked out, but before I descended down the stairs I turned back to his figure standing in the doorway. "And I'm not your baby or your bombóncita or your sanctuary. I'm nothing to you, just like you're nothing to me."
I didn't even wait for his reaction as I turned and walked down the stairs. I walked up the sidewalk towards Ruby's house. The sky was blue and the sun was shining. Not only was it ironic to the situation and mood of today, but it reminded me of the day of the lockdown. Things were so much simpler then.
I got halfway to Ruby's house before I crossed paths with a black guy in a leather jacket. He had an afro like it was the seventies, and I had to stop myself from laughing at him. I thought he was going to pass me but as soon as we got close enough to each other he started talking, making me stop walking.
"You lookin' real nice, girl," he complimented, a sinister smirk on his lips.
I gave him a tight lipped smile. "Thanks." I began to walk again, but he started to speak once more.
"You wanna give me your number? Maybe we can do something a lil' later," he suggested, licking his lips.
I shook my head. "Thanks, but no thanks. There's a lot of girls on this block I'm sure would give you a chance, though."
I tried to step forward, but he put his arm out, stopping me again. "Aye, I don't fuck with your attitude."
"Listen, I don't fucking know you. And I don't want a man who wears leather jackets in a hundred degree weather and looks like he traveled to the future from the seventies with his ugly ass afro. So how about you holla at one of the crackheads around here because today is not the day and I'm not the fucking one," I said, angrily. I pat him on the chest, patronizingly before trying to walk again, but he grabbed my forearm and forcefully pulled me back.
"Nah, you got that wrong, doll. You're the exact girl I'm looking for," he said, reaching in his jacket pocket.
I heard tires screeching and a big, black SUV sped around the corner and came to a halt next to us. I could see a black cloth in his hand out of the corner of my eye and before I could even react or throw a punch he was holding the cloth over my mouth.
Muffled screams sounded from my lips as I attempted to get hits in, but he wrapped his free arm around my waist, holding my back tightly to his chest and pinning my arms my side. I reached up, trying to pry his hand from my mouth, but my arms were too restricted and I was becoming weaker as each moment passed.
My vision became blurry and my arms fell back to my sides. I could see blurry figures emerge from the SUV before my body went limp and the bright light of the sun turned to pitch black.
∭
Translations:
• Santuario? Qué onda? → Sanctuary? What's up?
• Dónde está Cesar? → Where is Cesar?
• En su habitación → In his room.
• Tienes hambre? → Are you hungry?
• dramática → dramatic
• bombóncita → [dimunitve of the word chocolate] used as a term of endearment for a significant other; loosely translates to 'sweetie'
• Claro → Of course.
• Pinche cobardes → Fucking cowards.
————
i told you guys you weren't ready,
you can't say i didn't!
and shit is just beginning.
tell me what you guys are thinking.
↓ catalina opening the letter her dad sent her ↓
violetta: you need to finally go meet your dad that you've never met or don't know anything about!
catalina:
↓ violetta snapping on the santos and oscar ↓
↓ the santos and oscar as violetta tells them about themselves ↓
↓ that SUV came around that corner like ↓
what you guys think is in store for violetta?
comment your predictions and theories, i wanna hear them!