OTHER KITCHEN
(Lunch is ready and waiting for him: hotdogs with ketchup; grilled cheese sandwiches, curly-fries, pizza, and five flavors of soda-pop. There's a note attached to the chair)
Other Leo-(voiceover) Raph, Renet and Shinigami have invited you downstairs after lunch. I hope you enjoy the show! -Other Leo.
(A few minutes later, Raph exits the house)
Raph-(looks around) It's always nighttime here.
(Shadow and Ice Cream kitty meow)
(Raph looks up to see them on the porch roof above him. He raises his brows, and studies them for a moment)
Raph-Hm... Angel and Mikey got cats like you at home. Not the quiet Angel; the one that talks too much. And not the other Mikey. You must be the Other Cats.
(They leap down and land on the railing by the basement stairs)
Shadow-No. We are not the other anything.
Ice Cream Kitty-It's us.
Raph-(still in shock) Um... I can see you don't have button eyes. But if you're the same cats, how can you talk?
Ice Cream kitty-We just can. (She leaps smoothly from the railing and onto a large, fallen tree)
Raph-Well. Cats don't talk at home.
Shadow-No?
Raph-No.
Shadow-Well, you're clearly the expert on these things. After all, I'm just a big fat wuss puss. (Walks away with tail in the air)
Raph-Come back! I... Look, I'm sorry I called you that, I really am. How'd you get here?
Ice Cream kitty-We've been coming here for a while. (Disappears behind a thick root that sticks up, then reappears from a large knot hole beside Raph) It's a game we play. He... (indicates house) ...hates cats and tries to keep us out. But he can't, of course.
Shadow-(He pokes his head down into the knot hole, then pops it up out of another knot-hole, ten feet away) We come and go as we please.
Raph-The Other Brother hates cats?
Shadow-Not like any "brother" I've ever known.
Raph-What do you mean? He's amazing!
(Shadow and Ice Cream kitty climb the tree's branches onto the roof)
Ice Cream kitty-You probably think this world is a dream come true. But you're wrong.
Shadow-The Other Angel told us so.
Ice Cream kitty-Along with, other Mikey.
Raph-That's nonsense. She can't talk. And why would Mikey tell you that?
(The cats looks at him, pitying his lack of intelligence)
Shadow-Angel cannot talk to you. And Mikey, like the one at home keeps his feelings to himself. We cats, however, have far superior senses than humans and can see and smell, and- (Suddenly, they drop into a crouch and freeze, sensing something)
Ice Cream Kitty-Shhhh! We hear something! Right ...over...
(They scramble across the roof and disappear around the corner)
(Raph shrugs, skeptical, and heads down to Renet and Shinigami's, their door now circled with chaser lights)
(He pushes past elegant velvet curtains to discover an enormous, darkened theater with dim rows of seats and a high wooden stage. A flashlight comes towards him, carried by a black Scottie dog with button eyes. He looks up at him, sniffs, then leads him down the aisle past rows and rows of buttoned-eyed scotties, to a front seat by the Other Angel)
Raph-Hey, Angel.
(Light flash, the audience quiets, then the curtains open on a seaside setting with rotating waves)
(Other Shinigami rises up on stage left, in a mermaid tail, large wig, a black bikini top and button eyes)
Raph-She's practically naked!
Other Shinigami-🎵I'm known as the siren of all seven seas The breaker of hearts by the bay.🎵 (A flat cut-out ship manned by cut-out men rows in behind her) 🎵So, if you go swimmin' With bow-legged women, I might steal your weak heart away.🎵 (She bows her head and the audience of dogs wag their tails)
(Shinigami is lowered through the stage floor, the scene, and on the right, a huge scallop shell rises up with the other Renet, dressed in the bare minimum - her dedication to Botticelli's "BIRTH OF VENUS".)
Raph-Oh my God.
Other Renet-🎵A big-bottomed sea witch may bob through the waves, And hope to lead sailors astray, But a true ocean goddess, Must fill out her bodice🎵 (indicates her ample "ahem") 🎵To present an alluring display.🎵
(The dogs howl and woof, Angel and Raph clap. Shinigami, furious at the greater reaction, gets back in the competition. Rising up, she makes it clear just who she's dissing)
Other Shinigami-🎵Beware of old oysters, too large in the chest, Let's banish them from the buffet.🎵
(But Renet is up to the challenge- the scenery starts to change faster and faster as the girls rise up and down, competing.
Other Shinigami-🎵I'm far more nutritious🎵
Other Renet-🎵You smell like the fishes 🎵
Other Shinigami-🎵Did I hear a banshee?🎵
Other Renet-🎵You're sea-green with envy!🎵
Other Shinigami-🎵This mermaid enchantress🎵
Other Renet-🎵No, I "Birth of Venus!"🎵
(The set rigging can't take it anymore -- ropes snap, sandbags swing, scenery starts to fall)
Other Shinigami/Renet-🎵Will send sailors swooning🎵 --oh--!
(With a crash, they tumble down in a pile. Raph winces. The audience howls with laughter as the curtains close on the disaster)
DRUM ROLL
(A dog pushes a large bucket of water, onto center stage. Spotlights tilt up to the top of very tall diving platforms where the duo. Raph can't stand it)
Raph-(covers eyes) I can't look.
Other Shinigami-Ready to break a leg, Renet?
Other Renet-Our lives for the theater, Shinigami!
(They begin to bounce on the diving boards. As they bounce up, the two troupers unzip their disguises from which emerge the younger Other Renet and Other Shinigami who leap to catch matching trapeze bars that swing into place. Raph laughs with relief and amazement)
(Music Begins)
(They begin to swing out over the stage)
Other Renet-What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason!
(They fly past each other on their trapezes, double up, catch one another hand to ankle. We notice a large pearl ring on other Renet's finger)
Other Shinigami-How infinite in faculty! In form and moving! How express and admirable!
(In a sudden change of direction, they swing out over the audience, trapeze bar lowering and pull Raph into the air. They expertly toss him one to the other, flipping and spinning, as they continue their lines)
Other Renet-In action like an angel!
Other Shinigami-In apprehension how like a god!
Other Renet-The beauty of the world!
Other Shinigami-The paragon of animals!
(Raph swings face-to-face to the dogs in the royal box seats where one licks him)
(The ladies toss Raph into the air and dive into the large bucket below. They rise up, unhurt, just in time to catch Raph. They endure the applause)
(Other Angel escorts Raph up the stone stairs from Other Shinigami and Renet's apartment. Other Leo, Other Donnie and Other Mikey are waiting with him. A huge, full moon rising behind them)
Other Mikey-Wasn't it amazing?
Other Donnie-Spectacular?
Other Leo-Was it awesome, or what?
(Raph nods with excitement as they walk toward the front porch. Other Angel holds back, and loses her smile)
Raph-Oh yeah. They swooped down and pulled me right out of my seat.
(They walk up the door)
Other Mikey-You do like it here?
Other Donnie-Don't you, Raph?
Raph-(nods, turns back) Who wouldn't like it here?! Good night, Angel.
(Other Donnie and Mikey take Raph inside. Angel, at the bottom of the steps, looks guilty and upset. Other Leo glares at her, makes a huge, false smile then points to her. She just lowers her head)
(We see them all in the living room and Other April comes in with her hair curled)
Other Donnie-You could stay here forever...
Other Mikey-If you want to, of course.
Raph-Seriously?
Other April-Sure...we'll punch mutants, and play video games, and Mikey will cook your favorite meals.
(Other Leo rests his hand on Raph's shoulder)
Other Leo-There's one tiny little thing we need to do.
Raph-What's that?
Other Splinter-Well, it's a surprise.
Raph-...Sensei. You're alive?!
Other Leo-Everything and everyone you love.
(Other Splinter places a small box with a bow in front of him. Raph excitedly removes the lid but looks shocked)
(The "surprise" is a spool of black thread, a silver needle, and a pair of shiny black buttons-- For Raph's eyes)
Oh, my, God. And I'm sorry for making you guys wait so long, I'll be sure to update for often