~Sapphire's POV~
I know this is wrong but I want this so much. I want her. I nearly lost her in this stupid ordeal. She makes me feel so alive. I just want to feel alive.
Her hands trail down to my shorts and slowly slides them off.
"Should we go to your room?" She asks me while looking up. I only nod my head and rush to my room, leaving her trailing behind me.
She lays me back on the bed and continues to kiss me softly, trailing her way down my face and neck, stopping at my chest. She sits there for a second. Not doing anything.
"Ruby?" She sighs and only to make her way back up. She kisses my lips hard again before sitting up and looking away. I follow and look at her confused.
"Ruby?"
"I don't want to do this. Not right now. Not our first time."
I stay silent as we both think.
"We're just trying to distract ourselves." I nod along. She's right. This isn't how it's supposed to feel.
"Sapphire there's nothing I want more than to be able to take you in this bed right now. But we have so much we need to fix first. We need to both be happy with each other and ourselves before we get there." She looks at me waiting for my response. It's not that I'm speechless. I agree with her completely. I just can't seem to form words yet. So I just nod and pull my legs closer to myself.
"I'll go get your clothes and change and then we can put on a movie and just talk. I'll stay the night if you want me to?" I nod again. She takes a moment before she gets up but when she does she crouches in front of me to look under my bangs.
"Are you okay Sapphire?" She asks in the softest whisper. So soft that if you weren't paying attention you'd miss it.
Again I only nod in response. She smiles slightly and gets up, kissing my head before going into the living room. Not soon after I hear the front door close. She's probably just getting her stuff.
What was all that? It's like I'm frozen here in this moment, unable to move. I don't know how I feel. I don't feel sad. Or angry anymore. Kinda just, numb. Like I was before I met Ruby. When was the last time I slept properly? Maybe that's it. Or all the stress. And anxiety.
"Sapphire, I forgot that I left my bag at school. Can I borrow your clothes?" Her voice is still quiet Even hesitant as if the slightest sound might break me. Maybe it would.
I nod again and take the clothes she hands me, dressing myself and attempting to pull my hair back up but fail. I hate having to go to bed with my hair down.
Ruby goes through one of my drawers looking for the clothes she wore last time. She looks into the wrong drawer and I see her face redden before looking in another. The faintest smile forms on my face.
After she dresses I grab my laptop and we lay in bed and put on a random Netflix movie.
"Do you want to go first, Sapphire? I'll just listen and you tell me whats been going on."
I shake my head no. She should talk first. I-I still can't bring myself to speak yet.
"Alright," she sighs and sits up and I follow.
She looks at me lovingly, placing her warm hand on my check and moving my hair out of my face. "You're beautiful Sapphire." She tells me. I smile slightly which makes her grin wide. She's such a goof.
"Here turn around, and I'll braid your hair as we talk okay?" She remembers my pet peeves. She remembers the small things I tell her.
I just nod again and turn as I feel her fingers run through my hair gently. Then she starts.
"The night after our date, when I went home or really to the Temple, dad had already found the same Diamond guys on another one of our streets so they were brought in for interrogation. I had to direct it. You might not like what you'll hear Sapphire." She pauses. She still doesn't understand that no matter what she does, I'll still be there for her. Or maybe I haven't reminded her enough. I place my hand gently over hers that has paused in my hair and nod slightly for her to continue.
She takes deep breathe, afraid to share her darkness with me. "I had a gun full of blanks and one bullet. Whenever they didn't give me an answer I wanted I shot at them. I swear I thought I had more blanks in there Sapphire..." She begins to get choked up on her words but continues braiding.
"I shot one of them. In the neck. I didn't know that was the real bullet Sapphire. I-I didn't know and now I don't even know if he's dead or alive. I ran as soon as I saw blood. To get help. But I don't know if they helped or finished off the job?" I feel her tears as she lays her head on my shoulder crying. I turn around and let her hug me and cry for a minute or two. How do I feel? Still.... nothing. I'm unfazed. She's still my Ruby.
After a while she picks her head back up and goes back to my hair for a distraction, taking out her progress and starting over. "Dad won't tell me what's going on with him. He said he was disappointed in me for making such a mess. If the Diamonds weren't mad they sure as hell were now that we might have their blood on our hands. My hands...
"I got a call from dad yesterday before practice. He said that I was making a mess of my title. That I'd never amount up to anything like this. He said the gang was all I had. He threatened to pull me out of school and baseball if I continued to mess up like that. I don't want to miss school Sapphy. I want to graduate and go to college and have a real life. I don't want to be doing this my whole life. But he expects me to." She finishes the braid and takes it out to start over again.
"Then after that, I got into the fight with Jasper. You were completely right. It was really wrong for me, the captain, to get into a fight with another teammate. I wasn't being a good example. I was just so on edge from my dad. And so tired of Jasper messing around with the team's title like it was a joke.
"And then the part I regret the most, I came to your house and yelled at you. You didn't deserve any of it. You were right about practically everything. I just thought you didn't care about anything. I was just stupid," she scolds herself.
"I don't think you're stupid," I finally speak up, turning to look at her in the eyes.
"I-I'm sorry Sapphire," her voice cracks slightly as a few tears fall down her face.
"Hey," I wipe her tears and hold her chin to look at me. "I care. Of course I care. I just wanted you to do the right thing. But we're okay. I'm not going anywhere. You haven't lost me. You're safe."
She grabs my hand from her face and kisses my fingertips lightly, sending a shiver down my spine. "I know...Sometimes, a lot of the time, I feel like I'm not good enough for you. Like you deserve so much better than this Sapphy."
I shake my head at her. "No, that's not true. I don't deserve you. Right from the beginning, you were we kind and protective and thoughtful. You immediately made me a priority over everything you already knew. I feel like I can't give you anything. I-I never, never had anything to offer you."
"Well, then we're both lying because you've given everything I've ever wanted. I didn't think I needed love or a real relationship until I met you Sapphy. Now all I want is you. You and only you. I'm practically the luckiest girl in the universe to be able to hold you like I am right now and keep you."
She leans in and kisses me sweetly on the lips, not daring to go farther than that. Before I could deepen the kiss like I wanted, she pulls away.
"Your turn," she whispers. I look at the time, 12:30. Why do we always stay up so late together?
"Alright. But I get to straighten your hair while I talk." This mood is so sad. I need to lighten it up somehow.
Ruby nods and I get up to get my straightener as she takes her hair out of her ponytail.
Once it's plugged in and heated up, I begin to straighten her fluffy curls and tell my story.
"When you got in the fight, Amethyst called me and told me you were coming over. I didn't know how hurt you were. Apparently not that much," she smirks a little. "But I left work early to get home. I planned on taking care of you if necessary but instead, we started fighting. You were yelling and I couldn't even get one word through to you. I was so overwhelmed that I stopped thinking logically and just fought back."
I finish a section of her hair and move on to a new one. Her hair is actually pretty long.
"We hadn't talked all week because I've been so busy, Ruby. And I'm sorry for ignoring you. You needed me and I wasn't there. It It's just all this work. I can't fail any of these finals and this homework is about 50% of the grade. I haven't been able to take a break from homework. I haven't slept properly in maybe three days too. Four? I'm don't know anymore."
"Woah wait, Sapphire, you haven't been sleeping for four days? How are you still sitting up straight?" Ruby asks in surprise.
"I'm not entirely sure. I'm kind of really tired." I comment, "Maybe I shouldn't hold a hot tool to your head right now."
"Yeah, that's probably smart. Do you want to go to bed?" She asks sweetly. She's so sweet... I'm so tired...
"No. No, I need to finish this."
"My hair can wait it's oka-"
"No not your hair. The problem."
"Oh." She nods and turns around to sit facing me.
"I've been so tired with school and then I had work. I was so tense and tired that I really couldn't deal with us arguing. So I tried to squash the issue as fast as I could and only ended up making it worse.
"I made the comment about your dad being alive because it's currently around my parent's death anniversary. It was a few days ago," Ruby's eyes widened.
"Why didn't you tell me Sapphy?"
"I was so consumed in work that I forgot that's what day it was. I can't believe I forgot and missed their death anniversary. I didn't even realize until the day after. I was so irritated with myself after that.
"You were yelling about your dad and I should've listened to what you said but instead I was just seeing you as ungrateful. Because your dad was still alive but that was so wrong of me to think.
"Afterwards I didn't want to forgive you or apologize first. I was holding a dumb grudge, and then after lunch," I get a look on my face of nearly pure horror as I realize something. Ruby seems to realize it too and looks very guilty.
"You trashed our art final.." I sigh and put my face in my hands. This is just great. More work that I'll have to do. "Ruby that took 3 weeks to work on. For the both of us."
"I'm so sorry Sapphire. We'll be able to fix it right? Or remake it?"
I just shake my head. It was practically shattered. Ruby mumbles a curse under her breathe and gets up.
"Where are you going," she goes to the bathroom and after a few minutes, comes back out in my shirt and some leggings.
"To fix the other thing I broke."
"Ruby it's past midnight. Everything is closed."
"Not if it's the 24-hour dollar store. I'll get all the supplies and remake it tonight. And tomorrow, and Sunday, and all Monday night if I have to."
I shake my head and get up to get shoes and some pants on. "If you're going then I am too. You can't possibly do all that on your own and if I stay here any longer I might fall asleep."
...
It's three fucking thirty in the morning.
"Sapphire how big was the right wall?" Ruby asks, sitting on my floor with her legs crossed. A single lamp shining on our workstation illuminates her face just enough for my tired eye to see.
"Ten inches by seven I think." She looks up and me and says the same thing she's been saying since we came back from the store: "You can go to bed if you're tired."
"No Ruby. You're gonna need my help."
"I can do it on my own Sapphire. I made this mess and I can clean it up like a big girl," she jokes.
"I seriously want to believe you. But you can't even remember the model dimensions."
"Hey, I wasn't the one to lose the paper with all the info."
"It was lost in the whirlwind of yesterday and today. Or was it yesterday and yesterday's yesterday. What day even is it?" Ruby checks her time on her phone and I try to use the hot glue gun. For some strange reason, the two pieces won't stick together.
"Sapphy?"
"Yeah," I say very concentratedly.
"You're tired."
"Am not."
"Sapphy no glue came out of the gun but you're still trying to put two pieces together."
I look to see that there isn't even a glue stick in the gun in the first place. I blush in embarrassment.
"I'm not tired. It was just because I'm quite literally half blind," I search for some excuse to make. I can't fully trust her to do this on her own.
"Uh huh sure." Before I realize it I feel myself get picked up and laid in my soft blankets.
"I'll work on the project. You just need sleep. Lots of it. I'll still be here when you wake up."
There's no point in fighting her anymore. "Fiiiine." These pillows are so soft.....Ruby chuckles lightly as she puts the blanket over me and before I know it I'm out like a light.
Lmaooooo @ the beginning y'all thought.
Okay but super important! Now that summer is coming to a close imma have to update on a slower schedule. I know right? All good things must come to an end. *sigh* BUT THIS STORY AINT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING OVER THOUGH! I just have school starting soon and work starting even sooner. It'll be 1 to 2 updates per week now. But thanks for reading so far!